CrippleAnon Chapter 1: Beginnings

>Through the power of Science I'm finally in Equestria
>I gazed at all the colors, the beatiful scenery, and of course the reason I came here, THE ENDLESS AMOUNTS OF PONIES AROUND ME
>I lost all sense of sanity and just went on a hugging rampage
>First I grabbed Dr.Whooves and gave him a sqeeze
>Next I hugged Lyra, then BonBon, then Carrot Top, and Bruce Man then the fucking dirt just because
>Everyp0ny in the resturant I seemed to be in were just baffled at what you were and why you were there
>And everyp0ny was creeped out by my rampage of hugs and creepy smile, except Lyra
>When I finally calmed down alittle, I decided to start looking for the Mane Six
>My eyes beamed left right for anyp0ny that might be casually walking the market square
>I wonder where they might be, hmm...
>I know I'll start with Surgarcube Corner there must be sooooooommmm...
>Before my very eyes was Spike THE mutha fuckin dragon
>I ran full speed at him and scooped him for a big ass hug
>He was surprised at first by how I charged at him and the fact that I was squeezing the shit out of his head
>"Woah woah man chill out your gonna crush my buckin skull"
"Oh sorry man," I set him down and calmed the fuck down, "I guess I didn't know my own strength"
>Spike caught his breath and stared at me for a while with a confused look on his face
>"Are you from around here, I haven't seen anyone or thing like you before?"
"Nope but I know you and Twilight and Pinkie and Rainbow Dash and..."
>"Okay man I get the point, but how do you know that?"
"Well I...read stories their really famous where I'm from being the Elements of Harmony you know"
>"Oh okay that makes sense, well what your name stranger?"
>He extends a fist out to me which I brofist like we've known eachother forever"
"Anon, little man"
>"Anon, weird, anyway where ya from?"
"I'm from a place called Earth"
>"Earth? like the earth ponies?"
"I guess so, Born in Montana, raised in Tokyo"
>"Haha wow keep talkin these places sound great, do you guys have any dragons there"
"Well in stories they were believed to live thousands of years ago, mainly to cause trouble, but some were good"
>"Wow tell me more!"
>You and Spike walked to library while you told him stories about Earth, mainly just your life experiences, but he hung on to every word as if he were on a cliff
>When you and him entered the library you saw Twilight out of the corner of your eye and grew a big ass grin
>Spike ran to Twilight and motioned you to follow
>"Twi you gotta meet this guy he's so cool and he's got awesome stories about what'd ya call it?...Earth!"
>Twilight got up and inspected you
>She looked at you up and down
>Often commenting on you with "Mmhmm's" and "I see's"
>She tugs on your long hair, and lightly punts your knee to check your reflexes
>With a final "Uh-huh" she stares at you
>You give a friendly smile and stick out your hand
"I'm Anon nice to meet you Miss Sparkle"
>"...How do you know me?"
>"He's read stories of your adventures as the Elements of Harmony and he's kinda your biggest fan"
>"Really now? I don't have any books about me or my friends being the Elements of Harmony"
>You detected some hostility in her voice but brushed it off
"Well you guys are just really famous where I come from, there's books, doll, plastic figureens, you name it we got it back on Earth"
>"Hmm...Okaaay then well since your new here Pinkie'll want to throw you a welcome party so come back here in a little while"
"Great," you turn to Spike, "so what do we do till then"
>"Ya got anymore stories? or we could play tag"
"Haha I'll tell ya one more story then we'll play some tag"
>"Alright!"
>You and Spike head out of the Library and go...anywhere really
>After playing with Spike and apologizing for your earlier rampage to a few pissed p0nies you return to the library and Spike starts to open the door
>"SURPISE!"
"SURPRISE!"
>You and Spike look around confused that nop0ny was there
>There was no cake, no visitors, no music, not even Gummi just convenietly standing in the background not giving a fuck
>The two of you search around for anyp0ny who might be hiding
>Then you hear Twilight's voice down in the basement asking you to come downstairs
>You sneak off away from Spike in case things get sexual
>As you slowly close the door you turn around
"Ok I'm ready for my," you turn to see the mane six wearing their Elements of Harmony necklaces, "...surprise?"
>You stand there confused as Applejack turn to Twilight
>"He don't look that tough to me"
>"Trust me he knows too much about us to be trusted"
>"Maybe he could be nice" Fluttershy pointed out
>As you opened your mouth to agree Rainbow Dash cuts you off
>"No way, look at him he's so weird looking, plus what Twilight said about him knowing everything about us from no where obviously means he's up to something"
>You try to argue but are tackled by Applejack
>"Hush we don't wanna hear any lip outta ya now tell us yer plans"
>You lie there confused as shit with AJ sitting on your chest and holding your shirt with her hoof
>"Ah said talk" she punches you in the jaw and your still at a lose for words
>"Here lemme help, SPIT IT OUT YOU LITTLE WEIRDO" Rainbow kicks your face and you spit out a tooth
>Both ponies beat you up for a good twenty minutes until their ring leader calls them back
>It's finally over and I can explain that I am not a threat, You thought
>Then you saw all the p0nies stand in a circle and they started glowing
>Oh shit you knew what happened next
"SPIKE HEEEEEEELP" you managed to yell at the top of your lungs before you were enveloped in a rainbow
>Now you know how Discord, Luna, and Queen Crysalis felt
>...and it hurt like shit
>To put it lightly it felt like your skin was melting, while you were being suspended by hooks, while a guy with a dick the size of Russia was raping you from behind, while a guy with steal toed boots was kicking you in balls and they crucified you, while still kicking you in the balls, stabbed you, and went cupcakes on you except you didn't die
>To you it felt like hours of endless pain, but in reality it was just ten seconds
>And when the blast was done you felt nothing
>...you weren't breathing
>...you couldn't move
>you just lied there vision failing you and your hearing was fading in and out on someone talking
>"...on?...are yo...ang on...lestia!"

---

>...
>........
>.......................
>....beep....beep...beep
"...Wha?"
>Your vision, while blurry, was finally returning and all you could see was an incredibly bright light
>Once your eyes adjusted and you shook the hair out of your eyes you saw a hospital ceiling
>You could hear the murmuring of nurses checking you vital signs
>One notices you woke up
>"Oh your awake how are you feeling"
>Your dazed but you swear your looking at Nurse Redhart
>...NURSE REDHART?
>You look around and you see Spike sitting in a chair asleep
>He looked like he was there for days, poor little guy
>Wait a minute it's coming back to me
>Twilight said she had a surprise for you in her basement
>Then a pit forms in your stomach as you relize that the Mane six used the EOH on you for no reason
>That pit wasn't empty though in fact it was full, filled with a rage that could beat Repulican's hate for Obamacare
>You wanted to jump out of bed and beat the shit out of Rainbow and Applejack until they were nothing but smuges of blood on the cobblestone road
>Nurse Redhart snaps you out of your thoughts of killing the p0nies with a white marshmellow hoof waving in your face
>"Are you there?"
"Oh...uhm....yeah I'm fine could you wake up Spike over there"
>"Sure"
>She gently shook Spike and he jumped to life
>"Woah! How's Anon?! Is he alright?!"
"Yeah man i'm alright"
>He gets out of his seat and looks over you with a depression in his eyes
"Hey man don't worry the unicorns'll, fix me up nice and good and we can chill together again"
>"Ahem about that," Nurse Redhart interjects, "It seems you are immune to the unicorn's healing spells since miraculously your body heals on it's own"
>Damn human anatomy, with it's cells regenerating and it's bones meding themselves
>"So I guess you'll just have to...wait it out and you'll be fine in no time"
"Well that really sucks Spike, but don't worry I'll be on my feet in a matter of...some amount of time? heh heh"
>You and Spike sit there awkwardly when Princess Celestia enters the room
>"Hmm it appears your awake," she turns to someone outside, "Enter...all of you" she says coldly
>One by one the Mane six enter your hospital room with the last being Rainbow Dash
>You stared at them, each getting a taste of your fury through you cold and unforgiving eyes
>All were averting your gaze and looking so pitiful and worthless
>Celestia cleared her throat loudly and they all looked up at you
>"Now that you all've had time to absorb what you've done let's let our friend speak"
"Wow, I finally get a word in edge wise, where do I start? Oh I know what the fuck was all of that?!"
>You prop yourself on your elbows while Spike adjusts you bed so you can sit up
>They all stay quiet and look at the floor to avoid looking at you
>"Well?!" Celestia shouts running low on paitenice
>Her sudden yell startles the six ponies and Twilight finally speaks up
>"W-well he came to my library and we sorta *ahem* used the Elements of Harmony on him..."
>"Without my permission or authorization" Celestia adds
"...Why? I loved you all, I wanted nothing more but your friendship and care, and you took me as a threat?"
>"Well when you just waltzed into my house seemingly knowing everything about me and my friends I thought you were a spy"
>"I told you he was a huge fan of you guys, what are you gonna blast me with the elements just cause I know you?"
"Thanks Spike"
>"No prob bro"
>You two fist bump and go to back to serious mode
"None of you even considered I was a nice guy did you?"
>"...Fluttershy did but Twilight ignored her and Rainbow Dash started beating you up and..."
>"That's enough Laughter" Celestia interupts
"So what happens now?"
>"Well," she turns to the mane six, "you six are going to make it up to Anonymous and take care of his EVERY need while he is incapasitated," she lowers head to meet Twilight's, "do I make myself clear?"
>"Yes ma'am" they all answer
>"Good now Anonymous which would you like for you to take care of you?"
"Uh...I don't know"
>You have no idea where this is going but you don't like that look on Celestia's face
>"Then we shall make a game of it"
>She conjures up a magical wheel of fortune with all of the Mane six's faces on each tile
>"Each day you shall spin the wheel and whoever it lands on shall be your caretaker for the day"
>Everyone in the room shared a "wait what" moment
>"That's right, you six shall all walk into the room everyday and Anon her will spin the wheel and whom ever it lands on shall be the caretaker of the day
>Ah Trollestia at her finest
"Oooookaaay? uhm I guess I'll spin the wheel now"
>Luckly your arms aren't broken and you reach out and spin the wheel
>"The wheel spins and goes round and round where it shall stop nop0ny knows" The wheel says in Celestia's voice
>"Ok now this is getting weird" Spike whispers to you
"Your tellin me" you say back
>The wheel starts losing momentum and finally lands on Rainbow Dash
>"The almighty Wheelestia has chosen Rainbow Dash as today's caretaker"
>You get a smug grin as Rainbow Dash shows her excitement by sacasticly saying oh joy
>"There we go Loyalty you shall take of Anon for the rest of the day"
>Your mind wanders through the evils that are about to commence as Nurse Redhart explains to RD how to be a caretaker
>Oh man what do I do? I can't stand yet but I have use of my arms, nah I can't beat her cause she can just fly away
>Plus I'm not all that strong and lying in this bed for who knows how long probably did some toll on my body
>If I try to be a pervy old man in his death bed she can just hover above me or not bend over when I tell her
>No I've got it, Rainbow Dash is confident but the confident ones aren't always as stong willed as they lead on
>I can mess with her mentally, I can go Discord on Pinkie, mess with her head and make her feel like the worthless little filly she really is
>She'll crack under my mental assault and lock herself in her cloud home only to come back and get some more abuse
>As your thoughts become more and more devilish Spike is trying to get your attention
>"Hey man you alright?"
>You realize you were smiling evilly with a crazed look in your eyes
"Oh Spike I'm just glorious"
>"Okay man I gotta go and tend to the Library but I'll be back tomorrow and we can chat some more ok dude?"
"Yeah man see ya around"
>You and Spike brofist and he walks out the door
>As the door closes you chuckle to yourself malisiously

---

>Rainbow approches you cautiously and peers at your heart monitor, protecting her flank with her wing
>She hovers above you and looks at you face to face
>She takes notice of your long hair and tugs on it like Twilight did a while ago
"Please stop that"
>You smack her hoof off your hair and put it back to its original sitting spot
>"Geez ya don't gotta be so snippy, anyway about your mane, why is it that color
"What black?"
>"Yeah and why's it so long?"
"Are we gonna spend the entirety of your shift arguing about my hair?"
>"Okay okay geez man why so negative?"
"How about you beat the ever loving shit out of me and gave me a sensation of pain that was close to grabbing a lighter and light my skin on fire?"
>"Alright I get it your pissed, I'm pissed to,o you think I'd waste my time babysitting a little freak like you?"
"Wow your so noble Rainbow Crash, golly gee how do you do it?"
>"Woah dude you really do know too much about me and my friends, but seriously don't call me that or you'll wish you died back there"
"Huh? big talk from a bitch who's too lost in her own sense of cowardice to actually be loyal anyone but her self"
>She pauses and gets in your face
>"What was that?," she pushes her forehead onto yours, "I couldn't quite hear you"
"Head caught in the clouds again, maybe if you good then Fluttershy will bail you out again, like she did when you guys had to make that giant tornado to get water to cloudsdale"
>"She only had to bail us pegasi out cause a bunch of pussies got sick before we could do the tornado you little shit!"
"Hmmph really?,  I wonder if she'll get into the Wonderbolts, and if memory serves she's proven to outstage you in the flying department a couple of times before"
>"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about Mysterious Mare Do-well if I'm correct she out shined you when you were to busy being a pathetic little hothead"
>"...Okay you better shut the fuck up now before I 'assist you' with that" she plants her hooves on your bed and she stares you in the eyes
"Also while you were to busy being a selfish little bitch when Discord came back she was able to catch up to you while you were speeding ahead and she was pulling a hot air balloon with Applejack and Twilight on it"
>Rainbow growls and stomps on your bed, seemingly shouting behind her clenched teeth
>"That's it I'm done you can just help your fucking self cause I'm not gonna take this shit anymore"
>She grabs for the door and is instantly shocked with magic
>upon her smoking body a note appears and she begins to read it
    Dear Rainbow Dash
	I have magiclly sealed the door shut in order for you to fulfill you duties as caretaker of Anonymous D. Davidson.
You may leave when the alotted time period has passed which I have set to next morning.
					Sincerely
						Princess Celestia
>She turns to you and your just laughing your ass off
>Hell your laughing your ass's ass off now that Rainbow can't do anything but take your mental onslaught
>Suddenly you feel a dryness in your mouth and you desprately need some water
"Hey Crash, get me a glass of water"
>"No"
"What the hell do you mean no?"
>"I mean no as your not getting you fucking water unless you get up and do it yourself"
"Why?"
>"You've done nothing but say mean shit about me and my abilities and that's not cool man"
"It's not like I didn't have a reason"
>"And what reason would that be"
>You extend your arms as if your saying "Hello I'm stuck in bed and I can't fucking move my legs, please kill me"
>"Okay fine good point and I probably would've done the same things, but ya don't gotta be a dick about it!"
"And you were just an angel when you beat the shit out of me and broke my bones and..."
>"Alright fine I'll get you that water geez"
>She grabs a plastic cup from the water cooler nearby and gets you some water
>"Here" she said passing the cup to you
>You inpect it carefully and dip your finger in the liquid to test it's tempurature
>Then you lick your finger to make sure it's water and sure enough it is, it just bluer and more cartoony looking water but it's the same as it is at home
"Thanks" drinking the whole thing in seconds
>You then rudely drop it on the ground and swat it out of reach so Rainbow is forced to go grab it
>When she picks it up and floats over to you, you smack it out of her mouth and make her pick it up again
>"Hey man watch it" she picks it up again and you proceed to smack it again
>"Fine you don't want it I'll throw it away," she trots victoriously over to the wastebin and drops it in with a "Ha!"
"I have to pee"
>Rainbow growls with anger and flys around the hospital room to find...one of those little toilet things they give to comatose paitents
>While she's zipping around you notice you have a roomate
"Hiya buddy how are ya?"
>"Well I'm in a hospital but not as long as you were"
"How long was I here"
>"I don't know I showed up three months ago and you were lying there no moving with tubes in your body"
"Well that just sucks hear that Crash? I was on lifesupport oh joy I've always want to be a tomato"
>"Shut up" she continues to zip around to find the object in question
>You and your roomie chuckle as she searches desperately for one of those whatchamacallits
>Finally she finds it and prys it under your ass
>"There need anything else?"
"The ability to move, oh wait you can't do that, all you can do is take that ability away!"
>"Shut your ass up already"
>You and Rainbow stare out the nearby window and, to her dismay, the sun had just set stating she had entire 12 more hours until she was done for the day
"I'm hungry"
>"What am I suppose to do about..."
>Nurse Redhart wheels in some food for you and your roomate
>"Wait, but how did your get past the barrier"
>"What barrier?"
>"Sweet, later jackass" she says zooming for the open door
>She is again stopped and shocked for your amusement
>You roll on your sides, laughing, until the pain in your legs is too much
>Your childish torment of the cyan pegasus doesn't end, until you eventually get boreed an go to sleep
>You wake up the next morning feeling refreshed and excited to find out who your next care taker will be
>You grin evilly as the Mane six enter you hospital room one by one