"Kiritsugu: Grail. Grail-kun: What is it Kiri-kun? Kiritsugu: Don't call me that. Grail-kun: Sorry! K: Anyway Saber won't stop bitching to me about "me not confiding my plans to her", it's really annoying. Grail-kun: You're so hopeless Kiri-ku-*Gun cocks*er Kiritsugu. *Knife drops* Servant Complaint Remover! K: ... Grail-kun: Cut out her tongue and she'll never complain again. K: ...*picks up knife and stabs Grail-kun* Gril-kun: Aaaaugh! K: I guess I could talk to Saber like Iri suggested to me."
*Gun cocks*


"Lancer: Seihai-Kun, Seihai-Kun! Seihai-Kun: What's wrong Lancer-Kun Lancer: Everyone keeps killing me, make them stop! Seihai-Kun: You're so hopeless, Lancer-Kun. *Knife drops* Death Prevention Kit! Lancer: ? Seihai-Kun: Kill them all before they kill you"


"Lancer: Seihai-Kun, Seihai-Kun! Seihai-Kun: What's wrong Lancer-Kun Lancer: Everyone keeps killing me, make them stop! Seihai-Kun: You're so hopeless, Lancer-Kun. *Knife drops and stabs right through Lancer's neck, killing him instantly* Seihai-Kun: A clown isn't allowed to complain."

"Caster: UWAAAA, Grail-kuuun! Grail-kun: What's wrong, Caster-chan? Caster: It's the Unlimited Blade Works movie! The writers rushed through all the scenes I appear in, took out most of my best scenes from the original visual novel, AND didn't even bother putting in my tragic and sympathetic backstory! *cries* Grail-kun: You're so hopeless, Caster-chan. *Knife drops* Character Development Kit! Caster: Eh..? Grail-kun: Kill the movie's writers and make all of this your new tragic backstory..."

"Natsu: UWAAAAA! Grail-kuuun! Grail-kun: What's wrong Natsu-kun? Natsu: Everybody makes fun of me because I'm bad with vehicles! Grail-kun: You're so hopeless, Natsu-kun. *Knife drops* Portable Troia Kit! Natsu: Eh... ? Grail-kun: Kill the driver, and the vehicle will stop."