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Aug 27th, 2016
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  1. /**
  2. * @author Freddie Mercury
  3. * @copyright Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
  4. */
  5.  
  6. let BohemianRhapsody = function(){
  7.  
  8. // Is this the real life?
  9. // Is this just fantasy?
  10. try {
  11. if(!this typeof RealLife || !this typeof Fantasy) {
  12. throw LandslideException;
  13. }
  14. // Caught in a landslide
  15. } catch(e) {
  16.  
  17. // No escape from reality
  18. while(true) {
  19.  
  20. // Open your eyes
  21. // Look up to the skies and see
  22. you.eyes.forEach(eye => eye.open().look(
  23. skies.map((sky)=>sky.location);
  24. ).see());
  25.  
  26. // I'm just a poor boy
  27. me.wealth = 0;
  28. me.sex = sex.male;
  29. // I need no sympathy
  30. me.sympathies = [];
  31.  
  32. // Because I'm easy come, easy go
  33. // A little high, little low
  34. if(
  35. me.come.difficulty == 'easy' &&
  36. me.go.difficulty == 'easy' &&
  37. me.high < 0.1 &&
  38. me.low < 0.1
  39. ) {
  40. // Anyway the wind blows
  41. switch(wind.direction) {
  42. case 'north':
  43. case 'east':
  44. case 'south':
  45. case 'west':
  46. default:
  47. // doesn't really matter to me
  48. me.matter = false;
  49. // to me
  50. console.log(me);
  51.  
  52. piano.start().then(()=>{
  53.  
  54. let man = new Man();
  55.  
  56. // Mama, just killed a man
  57. mama.notify({
  58. target: man,
  59. status: 410,
  60. caller: me
  61. });
  62.  
  63. // Put a gun against his head
  64. me.push(new Gun(/*aim*/man.head));
  65.  
  66. // Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
  67. me.gun.trigger();
  68. console.log(man.dead); //true
  69.  
  70. // Mama, life had just begun
  71. // But now I've gone and thrown it all away
  72. let life = new Promise();
  73. mama.notify({
  74. life: life
  75. });
  76. life.reject();
  77.  
  78. // Mama, ooo
  79. mama.notify(0).then(()=>{
  80. // Didn't mean to make you cry
  81. mama.crying = !me.intent;
  82. });
  83.  
  84. let today = new Date();
  85. let currentLocation = me.location;
  86.  
  87. setTimeout(()=>{
  88. // If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
  89. if(currentLocation != me.location) {
  90.  
  91. // Carry on
  92. mama.carryOn();
  93. // carry on, as if nothing really matters
  94. mama.carryOn(everything.filter(()=>{return false}));
  95. }
  96. },today.getDate()+1);
  97.  
  98. piano.continue().then(()=>{
  99.  
  100. // Too late, my time has come
  101. let time = new Date(∞);
  102. me.time = time.now();
  103.  
  104. // Sends shivers down my spine
  105. me.skeleton.spine.trigger(shivers);
  106.  
  107. me.body.map((part)=>{
  108. part.ache = true;
  109. part.timestamp = const;
  110. });
  111.  
  112. // Goodbye everybody I've got to go
  113. me.friends.forEach((friend) => {
  114. friend.notify({
  115. message: 'goodbye',
  116. status: 404
  117. // Gotta leave you all behind
  118. }).position('behind');
  119. });
  120. // and face the truth
  121. me.direction = true;
  122.  
  123. // Mama, ooo (anyway the wind blows)
  124. mama.notify(0);
  125. console.log(wind.direction);
  126.  
  127. // I don't want to die
  128. mama.notify({
  129. caller: me,
  130. message: me.wishes.die = false
  131. });
  132.  
  133. // I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
  134. mama.notify({
  135. caller: me,
  136. message: me.wishes.born = Math.random()>0.5?true:false
  137. });
  138.  
  139. piano.continue().then(()=>{
  140.  
  141. // I see a little silhouetto of a man
  142. me.look().view(man.silhouetto);
  143.  
  144. // Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango
  145. for(let i=0;i<1;i++) {
  146. alert("Scaramouch");
  147. }
  148. scaramouch.fandango();
  149.  
  150. // Thunderbolt and lightning very very frightening me
  151. let frightening = [new Thunderbolt(), new Lightning()];
  152. me.fright.source = frightening;
  153.  
  154. // Gallileo Figaro - magnifico
  155. for(let i=0;i<4;i++) {
  156. setTimeout(()=>{
  157. alert('Gallileo');
  158. },i);
  159. }
  160. setTimeout(()=>{alert('Gallileo Figaro')},i+1);
  161. setTimeout(()=>{alert('Magnifico!')},i+1.5);
  162.  
  163. });
  164.  
  165. });
  166.  
  167. });
  168. }
  169. }
  170.  
  171. } // reality
  172.  
  173. }
  174.  
  175.  
  176.  
  177. };
  178.  
  179. BohemianRhapsody();
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