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- >Day Bathhouse in Undisclosed setting for convenience sake.
- >Jesus Chrome, it feels like it's been like you've been asleep for months now.
- >Ngh... what day is it?
- >You twist on over in your bed and stare at the totally not sexualized calendar hanging on your bedroom wall.
- >There's a date circled and starred and highlighted.
- >O-oh.. that's today, isn't it.
- >Hopefully it won't be a terrible day today.
- >You peel back the curtains to let in some light into your room.
- >It's gonna be another warm summer day.
- >All the more excuse to stay inside and jack off.
- >ringtone.wav
- A. Stay in bed
- B. Get breakfast
- C. Get dressed and head out
- >Just as ever... gotta get the most important meal of the day.
- >You roll out of bed and place both feet on the hardwood floors of your room.
- >After slowly standing up, you shuffle over to the door and go through it, because you're a fuckin' ghost or something.
- >It's obvious that details aren't important, right?
- >Your kitchen, slightly dirty from the night before, is pretty standard.
- >Stove, fridge, microwave.
- >You're pretty sure there's a toaster somewhere too.
- >The fridge is oddly cluttered for just one person living here.
- >You really should consider cleaning it out... unless you want month-old leftover chicken.
- >What sounds good today?
- >The soft glow of the fridge highlights sandwich ingredients.
- >...
- >Half of a sandwich later, you hear a knocking on your door.
- >Oh boy! You're not a complete loner!
- >Wonder who that could be...
- A. Answer the door
- B. Sneak out
- C. Finish sandwich.
- >In the middle of your sandwich?
- >Your ingeniously created sandwich?
- >This better be good.
- >You move on over to your front door.
- >You really should consider getting a peephole for this fucker.
- >It could be a damn serial killer out there for all you know.
- >You open the door.
- "Heya Nonny! Happy birthday!"
- >Oh! It's P-poll... p-po...
- >Hng... that's not her name, right?
- >Pinkie Pie!
- Hasbro say whaaaaaat?
- >She invites herself in.
- "Are you ready for a wonderfulicious day of sheer unrefined fun?"
- >Only if it's illegal fun.
- >Plinko plops down on your sofa.
- "Ooh! Sandwich!"
- >She swipes it from your hands and takes a bite.
- >...fkn srs m8?
- "So whatcha doin' today?"
- >Not having a sandwich, that's what.
- A. Staying inside.
- B. Throwing a party.
- C. Enjoying a peaceful day.
- >Typical Pinko to be bothering you on your birthday... but maybe she could come to some use today.
- "Need any help planning a party? You KNOW I'm your party pony person!"
- >flashback.mp4
- >Oh lord, the last time Pinkie threw a party for you.
- >The windows were shattered.
- >There was no more carpet...
- >And the blood.
- >So much blood.
- >...
- >You give Pinkie the thumbs down.
- >She looks at you quizzically.
- >That means "For the love of all that is holy, do not throw a party."
- >In fact, you're probably just gonna enjoy a nice and quiet day out in where ever the fuck you are
- "Oh? Shoot, you're such a downer! At least lemme get you something for your special day!"
- >Presents?
- >Can you really take advantage of free things?
- >But that's soooooooo wrong to get free stuff on your birthday.
- "So anything in particular on your wishlist? I have a 50 bit limit on you, since you're special!"
- >She says special funny... 'sthat supposed to mean something, bitch?
- A. "Surprise me."
- B. "Nothing special."
- C. "You."
- "O-oh! Um... what?"
- >She heard you.
- >You mean business.
- >And by business... I mean, bidness.
- "Silly Nonny! I can't be your present! That's like... slavery! And that was abolished a whole four score ago!"
- >You're not talking about slavery.
- >Just uh... y'know... maybe just a little birthday kiss?
- "Oh! Sure thing!"
- >She flies in quick and plants a quick little peck on your sandwich stained lips.
- *chu*
- Quest Received: Obtain Birthday Kisses (1/6)
- "Aww... look at you. You're blushing!"
- >Well... fuck. She's like... entirely pink.
- "I gotta go! Happy birthday, Anon!"
- >Well that was nice.
- A. Stay inside.
- B. Get dressed
- C. Ask to accompany Pinkie.
- >Whoa whoa, wait.
- "Yeah?"
- >Polly freezes in her tracks.
- >You two are gonna be mobbin' like some real gangsters.
- "Super duper! This'll be fun!"
- Pinkie Pie added to party! (1/2)
- >You throw on a shirt and shorts, and slip on your flipflops to counteract the heat of the summer.
- >Pinkie sits patiently in your bedroom, quietly watching you change.
- >Not kinky in the least bit.
- "So, where are we headed to next?"
- >Wow, plot development!
- A. "The meadow."
- B. "The market."
- C. "The library."
- >To the meadow!
- >Hooray for forests, I guess.
- >That's the definition of peaceful, right?
- >The walk over there is uneventful, since I said so.
- >Plus you don't think you saw anybody you know, and nobody else greeted you happy birthday.
- >And luckily, the meadow is right down the street from your apartment.
- >Whoa! Look at that!
- >There's a Fluttershy here and a Rainbow Dash!
- >And they're just kinda hanging out!
- >What plot development?
- "Hiya girls!"
- >They both say hello simultaneously.
- "Did you two know it's Nonny's birthday today?"
- >Rainbow Dash shrugs.
- "Oh... meh, that's cool, I guess. Happy b-day, dude."
- "Yes, happy birthday, Anonymous."
- >Well, I guess it's time to relax then, right?
- >Peaceful birthday?
- A. Fluttershy
- B. Rainbow Dash
- C. Pinkie Pie
- >Pinkie and Fluttershy go off and talk about being convenient in the plot.
- >D-d-d-dosh.
- "Yo!"
- >So it's your birthday today.
- "Pff, how old are you... like 10?"
- >11, thank you very much.
- "Well... I hope you have a good one."
- >This bitch doesn't even have a present?
- >What the fuck, where's the free stuff?
- >Worst birthday ever.
- >Rainbow Dash takes a seat on a stump as you breath in the fresh summer air.
- >Mmm, smells like high school and flowers.
- "You really just gonna spend the day not doing anything exciting?"
- >You nod.
- "Wow, you're more boring than I thought."
- A. Ask for a present.
- B. Ask for company.
- C. Ask for a kiss.
- >You need the kiss so you can finish the quest!
- "Whoa whoa whoa, what?"
- >Y-you too?
- "Heck no! I'm not gonna kiss you! What are you? Gay?"
- >Yeh!
- >Well K-k-krabby patty... That didn't work out all too well.
- >Rainbow Dash kinda leaves, and takes Fluttershy with her.
- "Let's get out of here, Fluttershy. We shouldn't stick around here."
- "Hope you have a nice birthday, Anon..."
- "NO, DON'T WISH HIM THAT, HE'S A WEIRDO!"
- >...
- "Nonny, did you try to kiss Rainbow Dash?"
- >Y-yes?
- "...You should know better than that! She's not just gonna give it to you!"
- >Right, you forgot about attacking the shiny weakpoint first.
- >...
- >Oh, I forgot to mention, I turned the difficulty on.
- >And Polly's your new fairy.
- Quest Updated: Obtain Birthday Kisses (1/6)
- >Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash definitely won't kiss you now.
- >This birthday's not gonna be all great, will it?
- A. Stay here.
- B. To the market.
- C. To the library.
- "Alrighty, Nonny, follow me!!!"
- >You get to stepping.
- >And conveniently... the market is right down the street from the meadow!
- >How about that shit?
- >The market is fraught with people bustling back and forth, with bags and goods exchanging hands.
- >A lot of witnesses here.
- "I reckon I should have at least a dozen bushels here. How many of 'em did you want?"
- >Applejack haggles with a customer no less than a few yards in front of you.
- >Because fuck the metric system.
- "Pleasure doin' business with ya!"
- >The customer walks away and you take up his position.
- >Looking behind the AJ's stand, you see Applebloom drawing in a coloring book... outside of the lines.
- "Hi, Apple Family! Did you know it's Anon's birthday?"
- "Oh! Happy birthday, Anon! Another year, another apple, right?"
- >N-no... I don't think that's how the figure of speech goes.
- A. Applebloom
- B. Applejack
- C. Go elsewhere in the market.
- "Howdy, Anon! Here! Take this."
- >Applejack hands you an apple with a candle in it.
- "Sorry it ain't lit. We don't have matches with us."
- >Pretty sure you could hold the candle out in the sun and it'd light on fire.
- >You test it by holding out the apple.
- >...
- >Nope. No fire.
- "So.. who's idea was it to cavort you all around town? Pinkie's?"
- >Strangely enough... no. It was your idea this whole time.
- >M. Night Shama-llama twists.
- >You avoid outright telling her about your quest.
- >Because... y'know, don't wanna fuck this up.
- A. Ask her for company.
- B. Kiss her.
- C. Ask to kiss her.
- >Does Applejack wanna join your party?
- "Gee, I dunno. I'm a bit busy with the store and all..."
- "I can handle it for ya, big sis-chan!"
- >Appurujack no imouto-chan, sugoiiiiiiii~
- "You sure? Know where the first aid kit is? And the money box?"
- "Trick question! The money box is in the first aid kit!"
- >That perked the ears of some passersby.
- >Applejack nods.
- "Alrighty, Applebloom. I trust ya."
- Applejack has joined the party! (2/2)
- >Sweet, now time to dip before shit hits the fan.
- >...
- >A robbery and a half later, you and AJ and the Pinkster are rollin' around at the speed of sound.
- >You've got places to go... but do NOT follow the rainbow.
- "Where're we headed, birthday boy?"
- A. "Back home."
- B. "The boutique."
- C. "The library."
- >Back to the crib, show where you live.
- >Let's get drunk, forget what we diiiiiid.
- >You can't buy them a drank.
- "Uh... so, what are we doin'? Just hangin' out?"
- >Something like that.
- >You jostle the keys into the door and push it open.
- >Really should consider cleaning up in your apartment eventually.
- >...
- >You three sit in silent boredom for what seems to be an hour.
- "No, really. What are we doin'? Because I'm not sure about Applebloom running the store."
- A. Kiss her.
- B. Ask to kiss her.
- C. Ditch Applejack
- >You sit next to Applejack.
- "Y-you okay there, partner?"
- >You nod slowly.
- "Uhh... havin' a good birthday so far?"
- >You nod even slower.
- "That's... nice and all."
- >You are somehow nodding even slower.
- "Ssssoo..hmp!"
- "Wooo! Go Anon!"
- >Your lips press against her apple flavored lips.
- *chu*
- >She pulls away.
- "Whoa there, sugarcube... What was that about?"
- >You show her your HUD and your Quest Log.
- Quest: Obtain Birthday Kisses (1/6)
- >Whoa whoa... wait... 1 of 6?
- >Guess it doesn't count if you forcibly do it.
- "Shucks, Anon... I'm flattered, but I don't think I wanna kiss you."
- >Oh, your heart is shot with an apple.
- "I'm... gonna go back to the shop."
- >She heads out of your apartment, leaving you and Pinkie inside.
- "Aww... don't worry, Anon! I'm sure you'll find your birthday kisses somewhere."
- >Pinkie leans in and encouragingly kisses you on the lips.
- Quest Updated: Obtain Birthday Kisses (2/6)
- >Whoa... do that again?
- >Pinkie looks at you confused and kisses you again... a little longer this time. You return the favor a bit.
- Quest Updated: Obtain Birthday Kisses (3/6)
- >Hmm...
- A. Stay at home.
- B. Library.
- C. Boutique.
- >Alright Pinkie! Off to the library!
- >Time for some nerd lips.
- "Nonny? Can't we stay here?"
- >B-but... muh birthday kisses.
- >You need to finish the quest.
- >And Twilight is the best candidate.
- >And if you can't get a kiss from her, then Spike will have to do!
- >No homo of course... you just want to finish the quest and get the bonus XP.
- >Pinkie deflates a bit and slumps on the couch.
- "Do you really want to go?"
- A. Yes
- B. No
- >P-pinkie...
- >She was the only one to remember your birthday...
- >The only one who actually visited you on your special day.
- >The one who wished you good morning.
- >The one who who offered to through you a party.
- >The one who stuck by your side through all of your shenanigans today.
- >The one who first kissed you, and offered you more kisses, and you took her for granted.
- >Not this time.
- >You'll stay with her.
- >You close the door, and head back to the couch, joining her on it.
- "Nonny, I..."
- >You silence her with a kiss.
- >Four out of six.
- >One that lasts...
- >Seconds turn to minutes while lips clash.
- >The hands of the clock tick around as your arms wrap her up in an embrace.
- >You feel a smile growing between the two of you, to shine something so bright and light up this whole apartment.
- >She pulls away, breathing heavily and smiling weakly.
- "Do you love me, Nonny?"
- A. Yes
- B. No
- >Of course you do.
- >And you're sorry for everything that you've done today.
- >How you were so blind to her.
- >She must have felt horrible all of today.
- >She leans in slowly...
- >Five of six.
- >Only one more... and this birthday will be a success.
- >You love Pinkie.
- >You love her more than anything in the world.
- >And the best part about it is... she loves you too.
- "I love you, Nonny... Happy Birthday."
- >She's leaning in for the final kiss.
- >And surely this will be one to remember.
- >The first real kiss of your love... not just for a game or a quest.
- >You two will share this moment forever.
- >...
- >Quest Complete.
- ____________________________
- Extra Shitty Bonus
- "Nonny... are you sure that you really love me?"
- >After that steamy makeout session? Yeah, totally.
- >Er... do you?
- >Wait just a second...
- >Pinkie stares at you guiltily.
- >Wait just a goddamn minute.
- "Nonny, please... love me."
- >The more she tells you to, the less you want to stay.
- >There's just one biting thing...
- >But what was it?
- >...
- >O-oh...
- >Oh!
- >You fuckin' bitch, Pinkie.
- >You wheel way the fuck back and smack her right across the face.
- >And then you beat her into the ground.
- >FUCKING BITCH, NOBODY GETS AWAY WITH EATING MY SANDWICH
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