Panties - The Philosophy

Wolf: There is a mystery that has baffled me for a long time.

Kageaki: What?

Wolf: Why do people wear panties?

Kageaki: Is that a philosophical question?

Wolf: If you will. Haven't you ever thought of it? People aren't born with panties. And yet everyone is wearing panties, as if by God's will.
On the other side, everyone takes them off! Is there anyone who wears panties while having sex? Is there anyone who wears panties while taking a shit?

Kageaki: That's likely uncommon.

Wolf: Because that's an act of immorality!

Kageaki: I'll agree it's a particular preference.

Wolf: Normal humans take off their panties. Then why do they wear them from the start? Not wearing them at all would be easier!

Kageaki: ... I get your point.

Wolf: I see, so you agree with me.

Kageaki: No.

Wolf: What?!

Kageaki: I believe people should wear panties.

Wolf: Why!

Kageaki: This is from my point of view but...

Wolf: Go on.

Kageaki: Would it make you happy if a man in his prime-years walked around without briefs?

Wolf: Are you trying to insult me?

Kageaki: Please answer my question.

Wolf: If you had 38 calibers in your right hand, and briefs in your left hand, I would immediately order you to wear the briefs.

Kageaki: I see. And thus you would enjoy having a man wear briefs?

Wolf: It would be the worst.

Kageaki: Then how about making a girl taking off her panties?

Wolf: The biggest pleasure in life.

Kageaki: That's my point.

Wolf: Hm?

Kageaki: If you have to choose between a world where everyone is walking around without panties aside from the ugly and a world where everyone is wearing panties aside from the beautiful, which would be better?
The answer should be clear as the day.

Wolf: ... Ohh!!!!

The man cried out, both arms reaching for the heavens.

Wolf: Wonderful!! It's perfect!! How can this be!
The mystery haunting me for so long has finally been resolved, and so easily! Ahh, Hallelujah!
HALLELUUUUUUJAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Wolf: Am I stupid?

Kageaki: Most likely.

I'm not one to talk, though. My brain couldn't keep up after half of the conversation and I just reflexively made up an answer. Just what kind of philosophy is this?

Wolf: But even then, people should take off their panties.

Kageaki: Eh?

Wolf: Hiding your genitals is the sign of shame. Shame is the origin of intelligence.
This shrewd thing called intelligence is what's keeping us away from God.
As long as we have intelligence, God will not forgive man. No matter how much we yearn for God we cannot reach him.
Those aiming for God should be naked.
Throwing away everything, praying. If you do so you will reach God.

Kageaki: ...?

Suddenly the man started walking, turning to his desk and sat down on the old-looking chair.
And then he waved at me, signing me to sit down as well.

Wolf: Minato Kageaki-kun, right?

Kageaki: Yes, and you are--

Wolf: Wolf. Everyone calls me Professor Wolf.

I knew it. This guy is the one who told Captain Ootori to spare my life.

Kageaki: Do you teach at the university?

Wolf: There was a time I did that, but not anymore.
Though depending on the demand here at the headquarters in Yokohama, I do lectures in Japanese. And therefore everyone calls me Professor.

Kageaki: I've been impressed from the start, you are really fluent in Japanese. The respect towards you should truly be justified.

Wolf: Thank you.
However, it isn't a miracle that I learned Japanese - it's an obvious thing.

Kageaki: What do you mean?

Wolf: That's simple. Japan is the land of panties after all.

Kageaki: No...

That's a baseless fact.

Wolf: I got that wrong, Japan is the country people don't wear panties.

Kageaki: Well...

More or less, a long time ago.