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- >Once upon a time, a homosexual dropped into Equestria
- >What the fuck?
- >He looked around, wondering how he got here
- >I like bright colors and all, but this was too much
- >Stand up
- >Talks a walk
- >He needs some fucking coffee.
- >He walks around some more, and soon finds a town
- >As he gets closer, he sees the town is populated by ponies.
- >wat
- >Gets closer, he gets tons of awkward looks
- >Nothing new there, really.
- >Just from equines this time, not homosapians
- >heheh, "homo"
- >Anyway, he sees an interesting building and decides to enter.
- >Goes inside
- >"Holy shit! This place is FABULOUS!"
- >Anon has entered Rarity's boutique
- >Looking around at all the dresses and stuff
- >Not a crossdresser, but likes dresses
- >Rarity comes out, not looking at him
- "Hello, welcome to carousel boutique. I am Rari-"
- >She stops as she finally notices that he is not a pony
- >She screams and runs away
- "Hey wait!" He calls after her
- >She fucking boosts away
- >Dammit
- >Anon is now alone in the room
- >Well shit
- >Waits a few minutes
- >He manages to see Rarity sneaking and barely looking around a corner to look at him
- >She notices that he saw
- >She ducks back, terrified
- >Anon thinks
- "Uhh... I like your Dresses." He says aloud
- >Rarity steps out a little
- "Really?" She says, with a smile
- >Success
- "Yeah. They are well made, and pretty."
- >Rarity smiles, her fear of him gone already
- >She walks over to a dress
- "Yes, I spend quiet alot of time on them. A shame not many stallions are into dresses."
- >You know that feel
- >Rarity smiles at you
- >You smile back
- "I've never seen... uhhmm..."
- "Human. I'm a human."
- "Ahh."
- >You realize that you're much more stable when meeting talking ponies then people should
- >Well ok
- >Rarity invites you around
- >She sees she will introduce you to other ponies
- >Sounds great!
- >Later, dinner
- >Introduced to Sweetie Belle
- >She's nice
- >Rarity gets you some food too
- >All vegetables
- >Well duh, they're ponies
- >You're not sure if you could live on a vegetable only diet
- >You really like mea-
- >Ok, that's a bit too gay. Even for you.
- >Finish eating dinner
- >Rarity tells you to stay here for the night, she'll introduce you to the others tomorrow
- >You protest, she shouldn't have to take you in for the night
- >She refuses no for an answer
- >She's very generous!
- >Then, her face brights up
- "Oh! You know what this means?"
- >You shake your head, a little worried
- "SLEEPOVER!"
- >wat
- >Ok sleepover time
- >You and Rarity chill in her room
- >This is a little awkward, with your being two different genders
- >well and different species, that might have something to do with it too
- >Rarity does some makeup stuff
- >You help her out
- >You think she may have a built in gaydar or something
- "Hey Anon."
- "Uhhh... yes Rarity..?"
- "Do you... you know.. like...?"
- >You sigh
- >You didn't think it was that obvious
- "I didn't think it was that obvious"
- >She gives you a hoof-wave
- "Please Anon! Most guys only think about one thing, it's obvious when guys are more then just shallow."
- >You nod, appreciating her comment
- >Even if it is wrong, though you're not sure how ponies work.
- >Rarity tells you to wait right there
- >She comes back
- >She's wearing some low-cut skirt
- >ohmygodwhy
- "Do these make my flank look big?"
- >Look over, then look away
- "No, they don't."
- >She smiles
- >Rarity puts clothes away
- >Somehow, you're more comfortable when she's not wearing clothes then when she is
- >Ponies are weird.
- >she returns and sits down
- "You know what this means?"
- >Here we go again
- >You shake your head
- "We can talk about boys!"
- >Facepalm
- >Rarity begins some awkward conversations
- >Answer them the best you can
- >Either she's depraved or she's just over-emphasizing your gayness
- >You don't like either
- >Especially the last one
- "...You managed to fit it all in?"
- >Jesus christ
- >Rarity makes a motion with her forelegs, about 2 feet across
- "Ahaha! Not even!"
- >She makes the space between her hooves smaller
- "Smaller."
- >Closer together
- "Smaller!"
- >Much closer together
- "That's about right."
- >Rarity and you giggle
- >Rarity confirmed for girlfriend status.
- >Not that kind of girl-friend, your "gurl"friend.
- >Finally, you two get some sleep
- >Restless night
- >The realization now begins to set in
- >You may never go back to your world again
- >No more cute guys
- >Your penis is sad
- >But mostly you're sad
- >You just hope that this is all just a bad dream
- >An entertaining bad dream
- >More like a neutral dream
- >Slowly drift into a dark, dreamless sleep.
- >You wake up
- >Not in your room
- >Ceiling is too bright for you to have been seduced last night
- >So the pony stuff is real
- >Look over and see a pony
- >Well, that answers that question.
- >Rarity soon wakes up
- >Sweetie Belle cooks breakfast
- >why
- >Later, Rarity introduces you to her friends
- >She smiles and winks at you
- "You know, there are some cute colts and stallions that I could set up with."
- >Are you shitting me
- "I just got here!"
- >She shrugs
- "Your loss."
- >She doesn't seem to even care that you're not a pony
- >That's a bit odd
- >Maybe all ponies are like that?
- >You met Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Fluttershy
- >They are all pretty cool
- >Rainbow Dash is such a dyke though
- >LOL
- >They welcome you to ponyville
- >Twilight seems more intent on learning about you and where you come from
- >You help her out but eventually Rarity steps in as you've been talking to her for hours
- "Twilight dear, our friend Anon here needs rest. He needs his beauty sleep!"
- >Twilight sighs, but thanks you for the time and leaves
- >You're going to need to talk to the princess eventually
- >You hope everything goes ok.
- >Later that day
- >You walk down the street
- >See ponies walking to and fro
- >Now that people know about you, they don't stare as much
- >Well, except the kids
- >Anyway as you walk you just look around
- >Then, you see something
- >Your heart stops
- >It's the most perfect stallion you could possibly imagine.
- >You look over at the stallion
- >Ok, he's a little young for a "stallion", but he seems like a young adult
- >like early 20's
- >Difficult to tell with ponies
- >He has an adorable little head (mane?) of brown hair
- >His fur-coat is a nice, natural tan color
- >He has 3 horseshoes on his flank as his cutie-mark
- >He is fucking cute.
- >You turn to Rarity, and whisper to her
- "Who is THAT?"
- >She looks over at him and then back to you, with an odd look
- "Oh? He's Caramel. But why do you want to-" She stops and then gives you a bit of a cheeky smile
- >You glare at her
- >She laughs
- "Oh come on Anon, I thought you said that you 'just got here'!"
- "I just want to talk to him."
- "Then go talk to him!" Rarity replies, giggling
- >You sigh and stand up straight
- >You begin to walk
- >Caramel is going about his business
- >But he does it in a very sensitive, shy kind of way
- >It's so damn attractive
- >You approach Caramel
- >He doesn't seem to notice you
- >You are really nervous to speak up
- >You don't want to blow your first meeting with this guy
- >He trots away
- >You follow, after shooting a glance at Rarity
- >She's flirting with some other stallion
- >God fucking dammit Rarity
- >Caramel soon stops at a outdoor restaurant
- >All the outside tables are taken, Caramel sits alone
- >Now's your chance!
- >You approach the waiter if you can get a table
- >He says they are all out
- >Ask if you may sit with Caramel
- "Well... Sure, as long as he is alright with it."
- >You really hope so
- >The waiter brings you over and talks to Caramel
- >Caramel nods slowly, and awkwardly looks at you
- >You sit down
- >He buries his face in the menu
- >God this is so awkward
- >You decide to strike up a conversation
- "Hey... there. You."
- >You were going to say his name, but it would be even more awkward if you just said his name without getting acquainted
- >He doesn't seem to notice or is ignoring you
- "Uhmmm..." You say, then notice his bright green saddlebag
- "Oh, like your saddlebag." You say, hoping to get a reaction
- >It seems to work
- >He looks out from behind the menu
- "You like it?" He asks, putting a hoof over it
- >You nod furiously
- "I love it! It's very colorful."
- >He smiles and blushes a little
- >Flattery will get you everywhere
- >Just then waiter comes
- >Asks for drinks and order
- >Caramel asks for some daffodil shit
- >You get an idea
- >The waiter looks at you
- >You smile
- "I'll take the grilled horse."
- >Gasps, Caramel gives you a horrified look
- >You start to laugh
- >slam your fist against the table in laughter
- "ahahahHAHAA"
- >Caramel looks around, blushing as other ponies see you acting so stupidly
- >But you can't stop now
- "Oh- oh man. You should have saw your face!" You say
- >Silence
- >The smell of tomato sauce is rising
- "...Sorry. I'll just have a salad please."
- >The waiter nods quietly, takes the menu, and leaves
- >After he is gone, the other ponies continue their conversations
- >Caramel is dead quiet, and without a menu to hide with he just looks away blushing
- >He's really embarrassed
- >You're pretty embarrassed yourself.
- "Hey.. I'm sorry about that. I thought that was funny."
- "Eating a sentient creature is never funny."
- >You blink
- >That was much faster and more aggressive of a response that you expected
- >Well shit
- >You just sit there awkwardly
- >Food comes, you eat the vegetables in silence
- >Doesn't help you actually want to eat some good meat right about now
- >Not that kind of meat you faggot this is serious
- >Caramel finishes before you, and just sits there
- >You feel really terrible right now
- >Sit in silence
- >Waiter comes
- "That will be 14 Bits for the both of you."
- >You pull out your wallet
- >Wait shit, what the fuck is a bit?
- >You look over at Caramel
- >He rolls his eyes
- "I guess I got this."
- >The way he says it really breaks your heart
- >Dammit, why did it have to be this way
- >He gets up from the table after paying, and trots off without much regard for you
- >You don't want to bother him, but you can't just let him go without saying your sorry
- >You walk after him and soon call
- "Caramel!"
- >He freezes and turns around, looking up at you with a strange look
- >Partially a mix of confusion, surprise, and a sheer chunk of annoyance.
- "H- How do you know my name?"
- >Oh goddammit
- >You blink at Caramel
- "Rarity told me. Look, I'm sorry about what happened back-"
- "Wait, you know Rarity?"
- >You nod
- "Oh. Well she's my friend too. We don't talk much though, but I though you were just some random stranger..."
- >You look at him
- "Well, she wanted me to meet you so..."
- >Caramel snaps his gaze up and blushes, before turning around and talking quickly
- "Oh ok, don't worry about what happened back there bye!"
- >Woah wait what the fuck
- "Hey wait up!" You call and follow
- >He starts to trot faster
- >You try to keep up
- >He bolts
- >You cannot keep up
- >You slow to a stop
- >Damn. Horses sure are fast.
- >You look around and slowly find your way back to Carousel Boutique.
- >As you come inside, you see Rarity
- "Hello Anon! How'd it go?"
- >You shoot her a look
- "Oh no! That's terrible Anon." She says with a frown on her face
- "Yeah, it was pretty bad."
- >She looked up at you
- "What went wrong, Anon?"
- "Well, I told him you wanted me to meet him so I..."
- "YOU DID WHAT!?"
- >Oh man you've never heard her voice like that before.
- "What? What did I do?!"
- >Rarity starts to breath heavy
- "Out of all the things that could happen...
- This is THE
- WORST
- POSSIBLE
- THING!"
- >Wow, what a drama queen
- >Still, you have no idea what she means
- "Rarity, what did I do?"
- >She looks up at you, still concerned
- "It wasn't your fault dear, it's just that... Well I told Caramel I'd help him with something a few weeks ago."
- >You blink
- "I told him I'd help him find a big strong stallion. He told me in secret he's been craving a big, strong, powerful stallion, and because you mentioned me..."
- "...He thought I was the stallion you recommended to him?"
- >She nods
- "Well shit. What am I supposed to do about it?"
- >She smiles at you
- "I don't know dear.. Maybe you should be a big, powerful stallion?"
- >What?
- "I don't understand."
- >Rarity grins at you
- "Come come, I think you need a makeover..."
- >Rarity drags you into her workshop
- >She begins sizing you while asking you about fashions from your world
- >You try your best
- >Hours pass
- >She puts down her instruments and sighs
- "Alright, Anon, go to sleep. Your outfit will be ready tomorrow."
- >Alright.
- >You sleep
- >You dream
- >In your dream, you feel like you're still in your bed
- >You feel yourself shift, it's getting hotter
- >You feel the body-heat of another
- >You are laying atop something that's alive
- >You're smelling the brown mane before you
- "oohhh Anon~"
- >That voice
- >You awake with a raging boner
- >Well shit
- >You eat a light breakfast
- >Thankfully, Sweetie Belle didn't make it.
- >You thank Rarity, and you ask her if you can help around the Boutique today, at least to lunch
- >She accepts, but only because she worked hard on your outfit.
- >You take out garbage, mop floors, and help her do laundry whenever she asks
- >She insists, and gives you a small payment of bits
- >You suppose thats fine
- >Soon, it's lunch time
- >Rarity wishes you luck
- >You're not going to fuck it up this time.
- >That Lunch-time
- >You strut on down to that place where you ate lunch yesterday
- >You see Caramel walk up, and sit down again
- >Same as yesterday.
- >You approach, and look over yourself one last time
- >Rarity hooked you up
- >You are wearing a very high quality pinstripe suit
- >Very well fitting
- >You look like the manliest gay-man ever
- >Excellent
- >You walk up to the chair, Caramel is too busy reading the menu
- >You clear your throat and speak
- "Don't mind if I sit here, do you, friend?"
- >He looks up, surprised at seeing you again
- >He seems a bit embaressed
- "...Can I sit here again, please?" You say, much less confident then before
- >He nods
- >You sit down
- >Alright step one check
- >You look over at him and smile
- >He smiles back and has a bit of a blush
- "Hello. I'm glad to meet you again. I'm sorry about what happened yesterday, I was just new to town and I needed to get adjusted is all."
- >He nods slowly
- >Everything is turning out better then expected
- >You order another dish, this one more complete
- >You and Caramel eat
- "..What was your name? You never told me yesterday."
- "Anonymous, but you can just call me Anon."
- "Will do, mister Anon."
- >You smile
- >Later, the waiter brings the check
- >Caramel reaches for his saddle-bag
- >You stop him and pull out your own bits and give them to the waiter
- >He seems impressed
- >You only have like one to two bits left, but it was worth it
- >Caramel thanks you and asks you to walk him home
- >You walk Caramel down the Ponyville streets
- >He tells you a little about himself
- >You don't talk much
- >He talks about his job, he gets up at a wierd hour in the night to got to work
- >He does something with the businesses of Ponyville in the morning, though you don't quite catch it
- >he leads you to his house
- >Turns out he is Rarity's neighbor
- >You and him both walk up to the doorstep
- >He unlocks and opens the door
- >He looks back at you
- >You look down and smile
- "Good night. Or good afternoon, Caramel."
- >He smiles at you, and then takes a step forward like he is going to do something
- >But then he steps back and just gives you a nod
- >He blushes and retreats inside quickly
- >You feel pretty good about yourself
- >You put your hands in your pockets and whistle a tune as you walk back to the boutique
- >You open the door to the boutique and keep looking outside before you go in completely
- >You hear clopping behind you
- >You then hear Rarity speak
- "How'd it go?"
- >You turn around and give a girly fucking squee
- >Like seriously your genitals should be removed for that smack against all things masculine
- >But do you know how many fucks you give?
- >
- >That many, right there.
- >Rarity squees back and you close the door and excitedly come inside
- >You talk to Rarity for a while, and you really thank her for the nice dress
- >She loves to hear all about it
- >You have your "girl talk" and soon its time for more work, dinner, then bed
- >You go to sleep that night
- >Your dreams were strange again
- >As you awake, the only thing you remember are a trio of blue horseshoes...
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