Living the Good Life: Chapter 13

>Right before your lips touch you feel her sock you in the arm. She pulls away laughing while you’re stuck rubbing your now sore arm.
>”I was just buckin with ya Anon. You shoulda seen the look on your face!” Eris says between fits of laughter. You’re tempted to take a swing at her but you know better than to try it.
>”It’s a good thing you stopped; otherwise I would have kissed a freak of nature.” You say with a sly grin. This earns you another punch.  You yelp before rubbing your other arm, now that one really hurt.
>”Well aren’t you smart? You’re not supposed to call the Draconequus holding on to the Elements a freak of nature idiot.” Eris says, her smirk still planted upon her face.
>”Sue me.” You say as you get to your feet. You’re willing to overlook what might have just happened had Eris been serious. It helps that you’re thrilled about today.
>You’re thinking it might not be as bad as a few of the days you’ve gone through since being here. In fact, today might just bode well for you… except for the fact you’re going on a date today… well all day.
>Whatever feeling of excitement you had dissipated almost instantly. Dread slowly creeps its way through your body. How are you going to pull this off?
>”Hey, you alright?” Eris asks with a chuckle. She looks upon you with a raised brow. You nod before nervously pulling on the collar of your shirt.
>”Y… yeah I’m fine.” Apparently you look a bit more nervous than you thought. You wipe your brow of the accumulated nervous sweat. Come on Anonymous calm down, after all the Elements are on the line.
>In all honesty you didn’t want to mess up your chances of getting the Elements; you also didn’t want to have your first two dates go awry. Wait… that reminds you… just how are your dates going to go?
>You’ll be spending time with both of them, so does that mean Eris has the morning/ early afternoon and Screwball has late afternoon/evening? Or will they both be around you the whole day?
>Those questions needed to be answered. You’d rather not just go with the flow for something like this.  “So, Eris about today… how is this gonna go?” you ask.
>”Well… I was going to start us off with breakfast, then a morning swim. After our swim Screwball should be up. When she’s up and with it we’ll be going out on the town.” Eris explains as she floats over to you.
>”So wait… we’re going to be going around Canterlot?” you ask, reluctance clear in your tone. You doubt Discord has been doing to all of Equestria like he’s done with P0nyville.
>You still remember how Canterlot looked from the first day you arrived. The spring loaded buildings, the poker card laden streets, the dancing animals… you don’t even remember seeing a pony among it.
>Those ponies have either fled Canterlot, or have held up inside their homes like the P0nyvillians did. If that’s the case then the city itself presents a danger.
>You don’t want a spring loaded building smashing into you. That is not your definition of a good time. Eris’ question brings you out of your idle thoughts.
>”Yeah, is that a problem?” Eris looks to you for your answer, “Well, yeah. I don’t want to end up getting hurt by a building or by a stampede of dancing animals. I don’t need to end up bedridden again.”
>Eris takes your words into consideration and her answer is something close to what you expected. “But that’s what makes it exciting. Canterlot keeps you on your toes. You have no idea what’ll happen.” She sounds just like her father.
>”No, that’s what makes it a hazard. I want to enjoy myself, not worry if I’m going to get hurt.” You say before crossing your arms.
>Eris may have entertainment in mind but you’ll be damned if you’re going to put yourself in harm’s way just for a date. The Elements aren’t worth it.
>Eris groans in frustration, “You obviously have no idea how to have a good time. We gotta change that.” You’re taken aback, “What do you mean? I know how to have fun!”
>Eris ignores your reply and continues, “And we have to work on that anger too. It isn’t healthy.” Well look at who’s not taking you seriously? Did you honestly expect anything different?
>”I’m not ang-“you try to shout. Eris’ cuts you off by putting a griffin clawed finger to your lips. “I’m done we aren’t arguing over this. I’m gonna cook breakfast, we’re gonna eat, then we’re going to have a nice swim.” Eris’ finishes with a look that seems to dare you to go against what she’s said.
>You’re thinking about doing so. That is until you see sparks of purple fly off of her lion’s paw. Suddenly trying to convince Eris that she’s wrong doesn’t sound like a good idea anymore.
>Eris moves her griffin talon so you can speak, “Fine. What’s for breakfast?” You ask. Eris flashes you a toothy grin.
>She slithers around you and over to your door, as she opens it she motions for you to follow her which you do. As you follow her down the hallway you can’t stand to look at the designs the hallway has.
>You feel a throbbing sensation in your head coming on if you spend too much time staring at the room’s decal. As you enter the living room you find that a section of the wall on the left side is gone.
>Much like the section of the wall leading into the pool and hot tub area this one leads into a kitchen; at least you think it does. It looks like the entirety of that room is blue tinted stained glass.
>You can’t tell where the fridge is, where the counters are, or even if there’s a working stove in there. Plus the entirety of the kitchen looks like it’d shatter if you stepped into it.
>You’re thoughts upon the kitchen and just how strange it appears is cut off when Eris wraps her lion’s arm around yours. She drags you over to the couch and has you sit.
>”Sit back, relax, and wait.” Is all she says before flying over the dining table and into the kitchen. You watch in wonderment as the individual squares that make up the wall re-materialize to close the gap between you and the other room.
>A strange feature that’ll take some getting used to.  Without anything to really do other than just wait, you wait.
>Throughout that time thoughts of P0nyville plagued your thoughts… particularly what you said to Twilight. Pangs of guilt weal within you, she didn’t deserve that verbal beating you gave her.
>As you’ve had to tell yourself numerous amounts of times before Twilight’s actions are dictated by Discord himself. She’s the way she is because of him…
>If you were to spend more time with her you could probably dispel his influence. You could make time for the purple mare. After today it’s not like you’ll have anything else to do.
>But will she want to see you after how you acted? You wouldn’t be surprised if she locked you out of the treebrary… you do kind of deserve it.
>You could vividly picture the tears running down Twilight’s face as you screamed at her. Eris is right you do have anger issues and you need to do something about it.
>But if by some miracle Twilight forgave you and took you back in helping Twilight out would be messing up the set up Discord has. You’ve already given Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie their color back.
>Judging by what you said to Rarity she’ll probably come around as well or she’ll outright ignore you. Either way you’ve potentially helped out four of the six element bearers.
>With Twilight turning back to normal that only leaves Rainbow Dash. Bringing her around would probably be easy considering every one of her friends would be helping you out.
>After that you’d give them the elements and whenever Discord came by the ponies would take care of him. Well… that’s what would happen if you were to relinquish them.
>You’re under the assumption that he’ll either be imprisoned or killed. Discord may be a dick, and he may love causing mayhem, but as far as you know he’s never killed anyone.
>He doesn’t deserve death… also what would happen to Eris and Screwball? They are his kids after all. You’re sure they’ve caused their own bouts of mayhem.
>If Discord is sealed away would they do the same to his daughters or would they exterminate them? You refuse to be the one responsible for their demise if it came down that scenario.
>So if you don’t help your pony friends they’ll certainly suffer as they’ve been and if you do help them you’re potentially killing some of the friends you’ve made.
>You were hoping to keep these thoughts hidden away, but with the situation at hand how can they not be? And here you were hoping to get some enjoyment out of your day.
>You lie back and recline on the couch content with merely looking upon the ceiling. The more you think about your situation the more you start thinking of the torrent of chaos you’ve been placed within.
>You’re given only a few choices to go about cleaning the mess of chaos. The choices available won’t allow you to clean everything. You can only take care of half the mess, the other will remain.
>You try to push that out of your thoughts and try to find something positive. It’s too bad that you’re failing at that. Looking at the ceiling’s design isn’t helping you at all; in fact it’s making it worse.
>That clutter of color you’re looking upon right now reminds you of you. Your reluctance, your anger, your despair, your indecision… it culminates within you stirring you up… causing you to lash out at those you’ve come to care for.
>You hate that part about you, but it’s how you’ve come to be. You’ve learned to just bottle things up and sort things out for yourself; to contain the chaos within or something like that. But it doesn’t always work.
>The lining of your “bottle” is what keeps you from breaking; much like the black borders around these squares are the only things keeping the assortment of color from mixing together.
>You know what would happen were the borders to break and allow the colors to mix around. You wish you could do the same for how you’ve been feeling for the past few years.
>But you can’t properly categorize and separate your thoughts. You’re not some robot; you’re only human… could that possibly be the real reason Discord brought you here.
>To throw you into a crazy situation such as this in order to see how long it took until your sanity ebbed away? To see you unleash your repressed thoughts upon those around you?
>It would be horribly chaotic… at least until you stopped. You’re sure Discord would be getting plenty of laughs at that. Your thoughts are cut off when a red and black swirled plate invades your line of sight.
>”Equestria to Anon come in Anon. Your food has arrived you can stop drooling now.” Eris says as she slowly sets the plate down. You get with it and grab the plate before it ends up on your stomach.
>You come to find that Eris has cooked quite a large breakfast for you. It consists of scrambled eggs, toast, sausage, and bacon. When you inhale the scent of your meal memories come flooding back to you.
>Your dad, before things went south, was one hell of a cook. His specialty was always breakfast foods. Whenever he wasn’t away on business he’d try to find time to cook for you and your sister.
>You could recall those rare mornings where you’d be getting ready for the bus just to see him flipping pancakes or hear the familiar sizzling of your favorite morning meal.
>When you took a bite you swear you felt like a kid again. With that one bite you were soon turned into a one man eating machine.
>Manners took a back seat, you were hungry and your stomach cries for sustenance would be sated. While you ate Eris looked on smiling for a few moments before joining you with a plate of her own.
>Though her eating habits were much more controlled than yours. At least she didn’t use her fork as a makeshift shovel.
>It didn’t take long for you to finish breakfast; your plate was clean after a few minutes while Eris seemed content with eating half of her meal before setting her plate upon the table.
>You lean back on the couch and rub your stomach while sporting a lazy grin. “Eris that was delicious. Where’d you learn to cook like that?” you ask as you loll your head in her direction.
>”Well when your only sister and father insist on eating candy and drinking chocolate milk someone has to learn. I don’t want to end up with a gut.” Eris says with a shrug.
>”But you’re the daughter of a God. I didn’t think your body was capable of changing unless you willed it.” She turns to you after chewing and swallowing her food.
>”You’d be surprised.” Eris says before setting her half eaten plate on the table, “Bleh I always make too much.” She says to herself as she reclines.
>”So… what had you staring off in to space?” Eris asks before turning her head to you. “I’m still thinking about yesterday… and about why I’m here.” You explain.
>”Look Anon, yesterday was a long time comin. Discord really pumped her full of bitch magic. If it wasn’t you it was bound to be somep0ny else.” Eris states. She’s trying to help rid you of your guilt.
>”Not only Fluttershy, but Twilight as well. Both of them aren’t acting like their normal selves and I couldn’t see that.” You say while adjusting yourself in your seat.
>You’re now leaning forward and looking on at the stained glass table. The multi colored diamond-shaped patterns conflict with everything in the room. You sigh before shaking your head.
>”Why does everything in this house have to look crazy? It’s making me sick to my stomach.” You state before rubbing your belly.
>”I don’t know you’re going to have to deal with it Daddy makes the rules. As far as Twilight is concerned I’m sure she’ll come around. If your yelling is working for Rarity then it’s going to work for Twilight.” Eris says with a shrug. This information leaves you taken aback.
>”Wait what? What did you find out about Rarity?” you ask; your full attention now upon the Draconequus. Eris gives you a nervous grin before shifting her eyes around the room.
>”Crap… I wasn’t supposed to say anything… buck it. Rarity took what you said to heart and she paid Sweetie Belle a visit.” Eris explains, you lean in not wanting to miss a thing.
>”And how did it go?” you ask a small smile forming upon your lips, “Sweetie Belle yelled at her, there were plenty of tears shed, and Rarity went back to her boutique. She’s been pacing around inside it ever since.” Whatever hopes of a smile you had vanished. You were really hoping something would have happened that would have helped Sweetie… but you guess you were wrong.
>”Watched her last night in the same way I’ve been watching you. Daddy’s orders… and they’re supposed to stay a secret.” Eris says, her mood turning sour. You get the hint; you won’t let Discord know you know.
>”Can we move on to something else please?” Eris asks; you shrug. “Sure. Why don’t you tell me how you came to be here?” Eris raises a brow, “You really want to know about that?” she asks. You nod.
>”Alright then… let’s see… where do I start? Well… I’m going to skip how I was made; long story short Draconequus offspring and human offspring are made the same way. We don’t lay eggs or mess with a pony or anything like that. Also no matter what mates with a Draconequus the kid born is random. ” Eris tries to explain. You’re quite confused but Eris doesn’t seem to notice.
>”Though the probability of it being a specific creature increases when a Draconequus mates with that animal. Discord bumped uglies with a pony named Screwloose and bam Screwball was born… but she could have just as easily been a griffin or even a dragon.” You take this time to speak up.
>”I was talking about how you ended up in Canterlot, but sure might as well tell me everything.” You say with a chuckle. Your chuckling stops immediately.
>”Wait… you said Discord got it on with a pony in such a casual manner… was Screwball… a mistake?” you ask out in disbelief. You’re an idiot; you can’t believe you just asked that.
>You’re prone to say stupid things when you’re nervous. You may be somewhat good at hiding it but it’ll show every so often… especially in situations like this. Hopefully Eris will go easy on you.
>“Oh I thought you meant… never mind…and that’s none of your business.” Eris says with a frown. “Sorry… I should have been more considerate than that.” You say looking back at the floor. You try to change the subject.
>”Go ahead and finish your explanation though. I don’t know anything about Dracon… Draconequ…” you try to say. Why does the name have to be such a problem to pronounce? Eris giggles while shaking her head. Thank whoever you believe in that seemed to work.
>”Draconequus Anonymous; as I was saying… our species’ offspring can be random. Hence why I look like a culmination of animal parts and why Screwball looks like an earth pony. Turns out I’m a rarity.” Eris says while pointing to herself.
>”Typically a Draconequus might have a child that looks like any of the five or six animal parts they’re made of.  Griffons, Minotaurs, Ponies, Manticores, Boars, Ibexes, Deer, Goats, Lizards, you name it.” Eris says with a smile.
>”But whatever a Draconequus gives birth to will look a little weird. Like the swirling Irises Screwball has?” you ask, hoping you understand at least a little bit of what Eris is saying. Thankfully Eris nods.
>”Yeah deformities like that will happen some may even be able to do magic. It’s how you can separate a Draconequus-born child from the rest, but it’s never anything major. No extra appendages, no missing claws, or anything like that.” You nod in understanding.
>”So what are the chances of a Draconequus like you being born?” you ask, “One in ten thousand.” Eris says with a grin. You whistle in amazement.
>”Yup doesn’t matter what my mom is; even if she is a Draconequus like my dad. It’s the same chance no matter what.” Eris says proudly.
>”So… who was your mom?” you ask, and judging by Eris’ frown you realize you’ve just struck another nerve. That’s strike two Anonymous aren’t you just doing grand today?
>Seems like you flipped a switch that didn’t need to be. ”I… don’t know… dad won’t tell me.”  Eris says; gloom ever so present in her voice.
>For the next few minutes the two of you stay in utter silence doing no more than staring at the floor. Come on Anonymous there has to be something you can do in order to brighten things up.
>”Well… I think its bad ass that you’re one in ten thousand. Means you’re unique, a cut above the rest. At least that’s how I see it.” You look to Eris and smile nervously; you’re not exactly used to talking to women like this.
>The only thing you really have to go on is what your dad and mom taught you. Eris’ ears perk up after you. “It is isn’t it?” Eris says looking over herself. She watches her griffon talons as she curls and uncurls them.
>”So how about that swim?” Eris asks, before you have a chance to answer her lion’s paw wraps around the fabric of your shirt.
>She flies over to the area of the wall that leads to the pool, dragging you along as she does. When the door reveals the pool within it doesn’t take long for her to make her way to the water’s edge.
>When you hear her snap her fingers you watch in horror as your clothes are burned away in a purple wildfire. She grabs hold of your shoulder and lifts you into the air.
>”Mind testing the water for me? I don’t wanna swim in cold water.” Eris says with a sly grin. Before you can say anything in protest she tosses you into the pool water.
>You furiously swim towards the surface of the water. The chilling waters help give you that extra boost needed to swim up and take a lung full of air.
>The water feels like it’s in between artic and northern ocean in temperature. Your body immediately begins to shiver in order to make up for the lost heat.
>You’re rubbing your shoulders trying to retain heat. All the while your legs are kicking in hopes of keeping your head above water.  At least your teeth aren’t chattering.
>Eventually your body becomes used to the water’s temperature and soon you stop shivering altogether.  You start to scan the sides of the pool and come to find out Eris has disappeared.
>You start to search along each side of the pool in hopes of finding the new missing Draconequus. When you fail to find her you let out an angry groan before slamming a fist into the water.
>You’ll get her back for this. You’re about to swim for the side of the pool until you feel talons and claws latch on to your shoulders. You shriek with fright before flailing about helplessly.
>It isn’t until you hear Eris laughing do you finally calm down and look to see what’s holding you. When you see that it’s Eris your fear quickly turns into anger.
>”That was hilarious,” her breath along the nape of your neck send shivers down your spine. When she lets go of you, you spin around to find her back stroking away from you.
>”To you it was. Don’t do that again.” You say through clenched teeth. Eris sticks out her tongue at you. “See? You’re too angry, try to laugh stuff like that off. It’s not like you’re dying.”
>You open your mouth to retort, but you can already tell this won’t go anywhere for you. You decide it’d be best to stay quiet and try to get some enjoyment out of this pool. You don’t even care if you’re in the buff.
>The only time you can remember being in a pool this size… or at all would have to be back in your early high school years. You start off slowly; using the breast stroke you move around your immediate area.
>Soon you get enough courage to start crawl stroking within the water. With your feet kicking behind you, you propel yourself around the pool at a leisurely rate.
>Occasionally you’d turn your head to find Eris floating along her back or watching you as you swam around. After a few minutes of swimming you decide to take a break and start floating upon your back.
>While looking up at the ceiling you don’t notice as Eris snakes her way through the water and over to you. She silently glides within the water until she’s a few feet away from you.
>When she thinks she’s close enough she goes back to floating on her back. When she reaches out to poke you she doesn’t get the same jumpy reaction she got before.
>”Sup?” you ask before turning your head in Eris’ direction. “Enjoying yourself?” she asks. You nod, “Are you?” She shrugs, “I was at first, but swimming gets boring after a while.”
>”Well you could always answer my question. How’d you end up in Canterlot?” you ask. Eris’ eyes open wide in surprise.
>“Oh yeah I didn’t did I? Hmm... I came here because of my dad. After he was set free and after he was able to mess with the element bearers he found mine and Screwball’s statues. See the elements turn creatures like me, my sister, and dad into stone… After being exposed to chaos we were released from our prisons. We’ve been here ever since.” Eris explains.
>“Well… that was pretty short don’t you think?” you ask with a grin, “How about you tell me what happened BEFORE being imprisoned?”
>And so you spend the next two hours floating around listening to each other as you tell a few stories of each other’s past.
>Though Eris’ list of past adventures was much larger than yours, and even though they were more exciting, you were able to keep her entertained by telling her about your family life.
>While she and her sister helped spread chaos to various nations around the world, you were dealing with average life in your city. The scale tipped heavily in Eris’ favor.
>She sympathized with you when you mentioned your sister. When you were done telling her the story up until the event that forced you from your home she was grinding her teeth.
>”Man your sister’s a cunt.” Eris says anger clear in her tone. “You wouldn’t believe how close she was to making me swear off women.” You add with a laugh. Eris scoffs.
>”If she did I’d have a reason to visit Earth. Give me an excuse to set something on fire.” Eris says with a smile, “Could you? I don’t think you know how happy that’d make me.” You say, still laughing.
>The two of you share a short laugh after that. When it finally dies down the two of you look at each other, each sporting a smile. Maybe this dating thing isn’t so hard after all…
>It seems like you haven’t ruined it yet and all you’ve really done is act friendly… well you got a bit mad at some points but that’s to be expected.
>You’ve also got to realize that your day’s just started. Can’t get comfortable just yet, you’ll probably mess up somewhere down the line today and as soon as you do you can kiss getting the Elements goodbye.
>”So, we gonna wake up your sister soon?” you ask as the two of you start swimming towards the edge of the pool closest to the open door.
>”Yeah she’s gonna want lunch too… and she’ll probably want chocolate or something like that.” Eris says with a grimace.
>”You’re right about that one.” You hear Screwball say. The two of you turn your heads to the opening to find her standing there with a little smirk on her face.
> When you get out of the pool and to your feet Screwball points with a hoof and says ”Well what do ya know Eris looks like you have him half way there.” She wiggles her eyebrows for emphasis.
>”So, you should get me one of those cotton candy cloud thingies daddy loves making… please?” Screwball asks Eris with an innocent grin.
>When Eris makes her way out of the pool she’s sure to dry herself off with a little spell. You wish she’d use it on you but it looks like you’re stuck drip drying. Eris sighs in exasperation.
>”Fine.” With a snap of her griffin claws a cotton candy cloud materializes over Screwball’s head. Screwball squees with joy before leaping up and latching on to the cloud.
>You watch with curiousity as Screwball sinks her teeth into the cloud. From the angle it appears as though she’s sucking the chocolate milk from the cloud like a vampire would its victim.
>Slowly but surely the cotton candy cloud shrinks as Screwball clears it of milk. When Screwball is satisfied with her drink she eats what remains of the cloud itself. She hits the ground flank first.
>Then Screwball licks her lips and rubs her tummy. “That was delicious!” Screwball says with a wide grin. You watch as Screwball goes from looking up at the two of you, to your lower regions.
>”So… do we really have to go to Canterlot?” you ask the two. You try your best to ignore Screwball’s wandering eyes; but when she makes no move to tear her eyes away you move your hands in front of yourself in order to block her view.
>”Well… if you’re really THAT against it I guess we don’t have to.” Eris puts her claws to her chin in thought. Your eyes widen as a light bulb materializes above her head.
>When it clicks to life you watch as Eris’ smile turns sinister. “I could just show us off to your little friends in P0nyville. I’m sure Pinkie and Lyra would love to see you.”
>”Okay.” You say with a shrug, completely ignoring the evil gleam in Eris’ eyes. You can’t seem to figure out Eris. What does she mean by ‘show us off’ and why does that sound like it’ll end badly?
>”Just let me get dressed first.” You say before moving past the two girls and back to your room. When you look inside you find the clothes you were just wearing a few hours earlier on your bed.
>So after drying yourself off you re-dress. You’re now ready to start the day. You’re about to head back to Eris and Screwball but come to find out they’re already waiting for you by your door.
>”Alright. Let’s go.” Eris says before snapping her talons. You feel your stomach lurch as you become helpless in the face of teleportation. This is something that you’ll probably never get used to.
>When you’re able to see something other than a tunnel of swirling purple magic you fall to your hands and knees dry heaving. The light from P0nyville fills your senses only making it worse for you.
>”Anon… you’ve really gotta get a stronger stomach. Some foals can teleport too and they can handle it better.” You hear Screwball say next to you.
>”Kiss… my… ass…” you say in between dry heaves. After a minute or two you’re able to get to your feet. When you dust yourself off you come to find that your entrance has drawn a crowd.
>Various ponies stare at the three of you, some with their jaws hanging loose, and others with angry glares. “What’s with you guys?” you ask.
>”They’re staring at us Anonymous.” Eris says while motioning to herself and Screwball. “You’re kinda standing with the daughters of their chaotic ruler. You know the one who banished their just and fair rulers to the moon?” Screwball adds.
>”That’s a valid point.” You say flashing the ponies a nervous smile. One earth mare wearing red and pink hearted clothing comes trotting up to you.
>”Anonymous… are… are you really with them?” she asks in disbelief. Before you can explain yourself you feel Eris drape an arm over your shoulder.
>”Yeah I am, their dad is the one who brought me here in the first place.” You answer without missing a beat. A few ponies back away, surprised by your sudden answer.
>Seems like none of them thought that Discord was behind your appearance here in Equestria. A few ponies in the crowd shake their heads in disappointment before leaving.
>”Wha… what? Oh come on! I help out a bunch of ponies and now I’m bad just because I’m around these two?” you ask while motioning to Eris and Screwball.
>You’re left sputtering as more ponies start to leave. Though unlike the first few they aren’t cutting your eyes at you, nor are they shaking their heads. At least you got through to the more sensible ponies.
>You groan in frustration before lightly kicking at a random poker card that was sticking up. “I guess it didn’t help that I beat the crap out of Fluttershy.” You say before putting your hands in your pockets.
>”Whatever. So what did you two have in mind?” you ask before turning to your two companions. “Well… there’s a café near the center of town.” Eris suggests.
>”You mean that one I went with Bon Bon and Lyra too?” you ask, Eris nods. Have these two really been keeping tabs on you the whole time you’ve been here?
>”Alright fine.” You say as you lead the way through the poker card laden path through town. Unlike prior walks through the area you don’t bother to look around at the now decorated town.
>All in all the various building owners have finished setting up their Hearts and Hooves Day themed decorations. Pink and red lights have been strewn up along the roofs and windows.
>Banners fly in the wind; some windows are even enchanted to take on a heart shaped appearance. All in all it’s as if the day itself has taken over the town. These ponies take their celebrating seriously.
>Eventually you reach the café to find that it has also undergone a transformation. Heart shaped cushions and tables now sit outside while the inside of the café itself has the red, white, and pink colors of the holiday.
>The walls have hearts painted upon them, as do the floors and ceilings. You see various names written within them. Looks like a lot of ponies became couples today.
>Luckily you don’t find any ponies you know. The last thing you need to do is explain your situation to Lyra or Pinkie.  If you do so you’re probably out of the running for the elements.
>The three of you spot a booth located near the back section of the café. You take on side while Eris and Screwball take the other. It doesn’t take long for three menus to be placed upon your table.
>”Oh hey Mocha Latte.” You say while giving the pegasi a small wave. “I didn’t think I’d see you back so soon.” Mocha’s eyes scan Eris and Screwball.
>”Nor did I expect to see you with… those two.” Like the other pony patrons Mocha doesn’t seem to take too kindly to Eris and Screwball being around.
>”It’s fine Mocha they aren’t going to do anything to the café. I’ll make sure of it.” You say before opening your menu, “We’ll let you know when we’re ready alright?” Mocha gives them one last look before turning to you.
>”Alright. Thank you Anonymous… and be careful. Those two can be quite tricky.” She warns before making her way to the nearby counter.
>”So what’d you two do to this café?” you ask while searching your menu for something to eat. Eris scratches the back of her head nervously while Screwball giggles.
>”We kinda… sorta… filled it with hot chocolate… the entire thing.” Eris says with a nervous giggle. “And it was delicious!” Screwball adds with glee.
>”Well that’s nice,” you say while flipping a page. While Eris notices your sarcasm your tone seems to fly right over Screwball’s head.
>”I know right?! Daddy loved it too! So much deliciousness in such a huge pot!” Screwball says while searching around the interior. It looks like she’s contemplating doing it again.
>”Screwball… no.” you say without looking away from your menu. Screwball turns to you sporting a huge frown. You will not be swayed with quivering lower lips.
>Back on to the subject of food. You’re thinking about getting the exact same thing you got last time. After all it was probably one of the best treats you’ve had in a while.
>The cheesecake here is delicious… and you’d love to have some more, but there’s a problem. You have no bits… at all. How are you going to pay for this?
>”Hey girls?” you ask as you motion to the menu in your hand. “How are we going to pay for this? I have no money.” Both Eris and Screwball laugh at your statement. You can’t find what’s funny about it.
>”Anonymous, Discord rules Equestria and we’re his daughters. We don’t pay for anything and since you’re with us that applies to you too.” Eris explains while closing her menu.
>Despite the position you’re in you still feel bad for not paying for your meal, or giving a tip for that matter. If that’s how things are going to work around here you’re not going to say anything against it.
>”So… what are you two getting?” you ask as you close your menu. “I’m getting the doughnut stacked cake.” Screwball says happily before tossing her menu in a random direction.
>You cringe when the menu explodes along the wall of the café, leaving a black singed area of impact. A few ponies around the area dive under their tables in fear.
>All activity within the café stops. Ponies turn to stare at the three of you. “She’s sorry.” You say before flashing them a nervous grin. A few of them start glaring and whispering among themselves.
>”No I’m not.” Screwball tells you before blowing raspberries. You sigh before shaking your head. “Damn it Screwball.” Knowing you won’t be able to instill respect into her you turn to Eris, the same question in mind.
>”I’ll probably go with a couple of muffins and coffee… this place has a breakfast blend that tastes so much better than what I get at Canterlot.” Eris states with enthusiasm before shutting her menu. Unlike Screwball she doesn’t casually toss it over her shoulder. Thankfully Eris has some sense.
>”Probably helps to have a working building that doesn’t spring up every few seconds.” You say flatly before scanning the café for Mocha Latte. Finally the mocha colored Pegasus comes to your table.
>”So are you ready to order?” she asks while looking between the three of you. You nod before handing Mocha your menu.
>”I’ll have the cheesecake with some skim milk.” You say before placing your hands and elbows upon the table.
>Once Eris and Screwball give their orders Mocha heads to the back of the café… but not before looking over the scorch mark on the wall.
>”I’ll get someone to clean that up.” Mocha says, her voice oozing with annoyance. She disappears behind the café counter.
>As you wait Screwball goes on a small rant over how she’d change up the café. Rather than take in the beauty of the decorations that probably took these patrons hours to set up she’s talking about how terrible they look.
>You and Eris just sit in silence and listen to her go on and on. Well neither of you really listen you two virtually sit there with your heads in your hands.
>Will Screwball ever shut up about things that don’t matter? Yes she will. A good ten minutes of talking is silenced when your food comes to the table.
>Screwball happily digs in while you and Eris eat your respective dishes calmly. Like before you savor the taste of your cheesecake. You would definitely pay whoever made this all of your bits if you could.
>It appears as though Eris is enjoying her muffins as well. She occasionally takes a few swigs from her coffee. All in all the three of you eat on in silence.
>None wish to acknowledge the obvious stares you’re getting from the ponies that can’t seem to leave well enough alone.
>Oh well, it’s not as if you can do anything about it. You know an outburst will only exacerbate things for you. You don’t notice but Eris seems to be eying you eating your cheesecake.
>When you finally look up from your plate you find her staring. “What?” you ask, forgetting you’re still chewing up bits of cheesecake your voice comes out muffled. Little bits of food fall from your mouth.
>Eris giggles and you cover your mouth in response. And here you thought you could get comfortable. Wasn’t that the greatest idea you could have ever conceived?
>You swallow your food before wiping away excess food from your mouth via a napkin. “Enjoying your food aren’t ya?” Eris asks with a smile. You nod in response.
>”Can I get a bite? I gotta try it, if it’s making you stuff your face it must be good” Eris asks before motioning to your cheesecake.
>For a brief moment you feel like shoving what’s left of your precious cheesecake into your gullet in order to keep Eris from getting a bite.
>But you decide against it considering you’d look like a jackass and you wouldn’t succeed. So instead you push your plate towards Eris. She looks from you, to your plate, then back to you.
>”What?” you ask flatly, “I’m not going to just take it off your plate.” Eris speaks out of disgust. You tilt your head to the side and give her an irritated glare.
>”Well then what do you propose I do?” you immediately regret asking that question. You know just what she’s about to ask.
>”You feed it to me of course.” Eris flashes you a toothy grin. Screwball has stopped eating and is now looking at the two of you. A sly smirk planted on her face.
>”Ha. Nope.” you say with a chuckle. You look between the two daughters of Discord. Their smiles slowly turn into frowns while your smile simply widens.
>Eris lets out a few fake coughs; you can clearly hear her say the word “elements” in between her fake coughs. She clears her throat for emphasis.
>”Eris that sounds serious. Need a Ricola?” Screwball asks in mock concern before going back to her doughnut… cake… thing.
>”No I’ll be fine just as soon as Anon…” you cut off a bit of your cheesecake with a fork and balance it upon the fork.
>”There we go.” Eris says, her smile returning. She leans in and opens her mouth. She gives you a half lidded gaze. Your reluctance is apparent… but if it’s for those elements…
>You bring the fork up and over to her maw. She closes what little distance there is, when she takes the food from your fork you pull away slowly.
>No need to jerk your utensil away, last thing you want to do is stab the roof of Eris’ mouth. Well… you wouldn’t mind doing so but if you do then kiss your reward goodbye.
>Eris chews slowly, letting out soft moans of satisfaction as she swallows your cheesecake piece. You can feel sadness well within your chest. You almost want to cry… your precious cheesecake piece is gone now.
>”That was delicious.” Eris says with a sigh of satisfaction. She looks over her last remaining muffin. Then she gives you a devious grin.
>”I think I need to return the favor.” Eris tells you while picking up her muffin. You shake your head, “Oh no its fine there’s no need.” You would say more but Eris has forced your mouth open with magic.
>Eris wastes no time in shoving the blueberry muffin down your throat. You cough as your mouth is forced closed in order for you to hopelessly chew your food.
>While the muffin tastes freshly made you cannot savor it considering you’ve virtually swallowed an entire muffin whole. When you feel it finally slide down your esophagus you open your mouth to breathe.
>Screwball is busy laughing her little flank off while Eris is snickering. You look around at the patrons. Some are looking on in disgust while Mocha Latte is pretending to have one of them in a headlock.
>She beats the air with her hoof where Screwball’s or Eris’ head would be. She doesn’t like what they did one bit and neither did you. Screw the elements.
>Without saying a single thing you get out of your chair and head out the door of the café. Neither seems to notice you leave considering they’re laughing with their eyes closed.
>When you slam the café door behind you on your way out Mocha Latte trots over to the two laughing sisters sporting a cocky grin on her face.
>”Hey girls guess what?” Mocha asks happily. Screwball wipes away a tear before looking at Mocha. “What?” Mocha’s smile widens.
>”Your date’s gone.” Mocha says before trotting away. Eris’ laughter dies off instantly. Her eyes widen when she sees your seat empty.
>"What?" Screwball asks in disbelief while looking at your empty seat. Screwball turns her head to face Eris.
>"Hey Eris?" Screwballs asks, "What?" Eris asks in response. "I think we bucked up."