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- >be me
- >coming home from the range
- >met up with a cop i met earlier this week
- >fucking soccermoms
- >anyway, bought his px4 compact
- >seemed unusually happy to be rid of it
- >can't imagine why, shoots beautifully
- >get home, grab cleaning kit
- >take apart, clean, oil
- >place on counter while i say prayer at murder/k/ube shrine
- >air conditioning off to save money because poorfag
- >hot as balls in my russian milsurp
- >go change, come back to find small girl opening a window
- >her: It's hotter'n hell in here, why don'tcha turn on the air conditioner?
- >who the fuck is this little bitch
- >me: Who the fuck are you? How did you get in here?
- >her: I'm the PX4 Storm ya just bought.
- >me: What the fuck are you talking about, kid?
- >her: Don't call me kid, virgin.
- >me: WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?!
- >her: You're not too bright, are ya?
- >me: You expect me to believe that you're a gun?
- >her: Yep
- >me: Alright, prove it. Tell me something only the gun I just bought would know.
- >her: The first thing you said when you met my previous owner was "AM I BEING DETAINED."
- >me: Alright, so you're a gun.
- >her: Is everyone around here this stupid?
- >me: You sure are rude. Oh right, you're a Beretta. Fucking Italians.
- >her: I'm from Maryland.
- >me: I liked you better as a gun.
- >her: You can't handle a woman?
- >me: You're hardly a woman.
- >she slowly walks over to me
- >she barely comes up to my chest
- >she pushes me
- >i get knocked down
- >but i get up again
- >you're never gonna keep me down
- >me: What the fuck are you-
- >her: I'll show you how much of a woman I am.
- >she pushes me down again
- >she grabs my hands and pins them to my chest
- >me: I'm not comfortable with this situation.
- >i think that's what i said, it might've been a little more terrified and/or hysterical
- >her: But you haven't even tried my rotating barrel yet!
- >she's got my penor out now, somehow keeping my arms pinned with one hand
- >for some reason, i'm at full mast
- >must have been the adrenaline
- >she gasps in awe at my member
- >i feel the pride swell in my chest
- >until she starts laughing loudly
- >her: That's it?! HAHAHAHAHAHA
- >i feel my family dishonored
- >shamfur dispray
- >she steps on my balls for a moment
- >cum instantly
- >she looks at me with disgust
- >her: Lick it off.
- >i burst into treats
- >her: DO IT!
- >she shoves her cum-covered foot in my face
- >when i'm done, i curl up into a ball and sob softly while she goes to the bathroom to clean up
- >her: Stay right there. When I get back, we're going to continue.
- >oh god please don't let this be my life now
- >think about running innawoods
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