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crystalakov

Weed Fluffy

Jun 28th, 2012
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  1. >Be a drug dealer.
  2. >Decide to grow marijuana on garden fluffies.
  3. >It's genius!
  4. >Moving pot plants that can run away from the fuzz if they try to bust you!
  5. >You've got a herd of two dozen of them down in the compound.
  6. >They love all the light and coo whenever Pedro waters them.
  7. >Plus the stuff is great.
  8. >Your guys on the street can't sell enough.
  9. >You're looking to expand the herd soon.
  10. >The garden fluffies bitch and moan when you de-plant them, but then they love you when you re-plant them.
  11. "Senor, senor!"
  12. "What, Pedro?"
  13. "One of the fluffies! She escaped!"
  14. >Shit.
  15.  
  16. >Be garden fluffy.
  17. >The man planted some seeds on you.
  18. >You love plants!
  19. >You try your best to keep the plants strong and healthy.
  20. >Today that meant going outside and getting lots of sunshine.
  21. >You're walking in the woods.
  22. >So many beautiful plants!
  23. >You hope your plants are as beautiful.
  24. >Two strangers are approaching!
  25. "Whoa, dude. Is that a fluffy pony?"
  26. "Naw, it's one of those fluffy ponies."
  27. "Dude, it's got weed on it's back!"
  28. "Dude!"
  29. >They run up to you.
  30. >You hope they want to water your plants.
  31. "I am garden fluffy. Do you have water?"
  32. "Shut up, gawd. I hate their baby talk."
  33. "Let's take the weed and hit it!"
  34. >They want to take your plants.
  35. >That means that you'd have no plants.
  36. >You can't be happy with no plants!
  37. "No! Don't take my plants!"
  38. "Shut up!"
  39. >They rip your plants out.
  40. >That hurts.
  41. >You should say something.
  42. "Ow!"
  43. >They're hurting you by pulling your plants out.
  44. "Stop pulling my plants out!"
  45. "Sorry, I don't understand babytalk. Stupid fluffy."
  46. "Dude, let's go!"
  47. >They run away.
  48. >They took your plants!
  49. >You are nothing without your plants.
  50. >You try to process what it means to be nothing.
  51. >You can't.
  52. >You get sad because you can't think of what that means.
  53. "Noooooo!"
  54. >You lie down and cry.
  55. >This is the saddest you've ever been.
  56.  
  57. ENDING BY ANONYMOUS:
  58.  
  59. >You hear voices in the distance
  60. >"Where did you get that herb, hijo de puta? Did you pull it off our fluffy, hmm? Do you know what the penalty is for stealing our stuff, amigo?"
  61. >"No, man, I just found it... EEEYYAAAAGH!!!"
  62. >You have no idea what any of this means.
  63. >A familiar human comes back and puts some fresh seeds on your back.
  64. >You are something again!
  65. >He gives you some special fertilizer to help the seeds grow.
  66. >It's a red liquid, and he seems to have plenty of it on hand.
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