reflexion

sometimes, when we are really in need of this, the hope turn on in us a small light.
subsconcious conspires with our mind, and then the brain starts to exude hormones. maybe our
brain just wants to cheer up us. but the happiness doesnt come just like we want to. it has to
come with someone, with a person, soul, fulfilment. it is said that the universe is supporting
us to get our dreams come true - so whats wrong with me? am i different than the others? or
maybe i didnt have any dreams?  its unlikely. every poet was dreaming, but not every of them
discovered this different, unusual world on this one, called simple an earth.
im sitting on the chair, near the table, satisfied by the silence of the night. 2 hours passed
by observing flames of candles, dancing because of my breath. next to me, on the table are a few
books and some poems which i have written a moment ago. fresh and black ink smells like an
inspiration, neatness, the quintessence of reflections. the letters are inclined to right
side.they are smiling to me. this poem seems to be better than the others. im wiping my eyes and
writing down next lines.

you can find me,
where the night finds
a connection with the day.
the last lunar
drop is streaming down on my cheek,
or maybe
its a tear, so cold and pure
-one of the many.

i think the end shows how my mood actually is. i went to the next room. im sitting near the
desk. but in spite of turning on my computer, i shut it down and disconnected of the feed. i
took a sip of black, hot tea. no sugar. im holding in my hand my mom's old diary. im looking
through the pages. my interest was awaken by one of the entries. she introduced her dreams. to
live in a big house, to have 20 colorful tv programms, take a phone to the bag to be able to
make a call to friends at any time. i smiled. mom, your dreams come true. but what about my
dreams? maybe nowadays dreams just cant become a reality. we live in XXI century. you can hear
about technological progresses all the time. inventions, discovers, improving. for us, for young
people its a daily routine. and we dont want to connect our dreams with the daily reality.
nowadays, most wanted points are the career, wealth and education. sometimes, somewhere deep
inside we can hear the voice telling us to raise the own family. nothing else matters. noone has
a courage to go out of the lines created by the society. nothing else can give you the feeling
of happiness.

i was different. i didnt want to have money, i have never dreamed about the fame. deeply inside
i was dreaming about having a friend. true friend, with real heart, with the soul, with honest
smile, with own dreams and a dash of humanity. this dream is basic and timeless.the dreams,
which is not appeared in our chase behind the happiness, ideals or life purposes.

my dream is a little bit of the soul of a man near to me.