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 Jumpchain CYOA
 
 =====================================
 
 [Pokémon]
 Region: Rolled an 8. Well, I'm off to a good start; taking Hoenn.
 
 Rolled 9+7=16 for age. Huh, not too bad.
 
 Small Town (50). Sad to say, having close childhood friends is part of the escapism.
 
 Starter: Torchic.
 
 Combat Training (150). Apart from a few gimmicky trainers, I don't actually remember any human in Pokemon being especially good at hand-to-hand.
 Savant (750). I'm not quite Emiya Kiritsugu, but I'm getting there.
 Freerunning (850). First rule of fighting gods is RUN THE FUCK AWAY.
 Physical (Free)
 Aura (1150). I have no idea what this is, but it sounds slightly better than Psionics as a secret weapon/way of tracking my mini-I mean friends.
 
 Sniper Rifle (1550). Rule 2 of fighting gods is do it as far away from said god as possible.
 3X Master Ball (1600). I was tempted to get the collapsible baton, but I'll make do with a stick.
 
 Plan is to be the very best, like countless Pokemon protagonists have been before. I'll save the masterballs, and travel everywhere with my friends, officially for friendship and teamwork and all that jazz. I want to catch legendary pokemon that DON'T have a beef with me; some Mewtwo-tier threats that can stand against which ever legendary is after me. When the time is right, I will pokebattle that legendary beast, testing my might as a trainer.
 
 And once it's down to >20% health I'll snipe the fucker. I'll pump lead into the fucker until it stops moving. Until then, the rifle's there as a deterrant from being ganked with low level pokemon. I'll also have to track down Darkrai for merry sniping times.
 
 Assuming I survive, I'm fairly confidant Jump-Chan will be entertained i.e. horrified yet unable to look away, like a man watching a trainwreck.
 
 Keeping Blaziken, a Gardevoir and a couple of Legendaries
 
 =====================================
 
 [Interlude: Warhouse and Body Mods]
 WAREHOUSE
 2 Stasis Pods (40) for reasons
 Return (60) in case I missed anything on my trips
 Terminal (70)
 Robots (80). I am very lazy.
 Shelving (Free)
 Force Wall (100). I'm going to make enemies, and those mongrels aren't getting their filthy paws on my treasures.
 Workshop (110). For my eventual magitech projects.
 Free Space (140) PARTY UP
 Electricity (150) For until I get a working cold fusion generator
 
 BODY
 
 Build: Heavy. I'm a big guy.
 
 Bodybuilder (100). I'm a really big guy.
 
 Evercleansed and Metavore (300) I'm also fairly hygienic and can eat what I want
 StrengthX1 (350)
 EnduranceX1 (400)
 Sense (450) No need for glasses any more
 EndowedX3 (600). Yep.
 
 The Bay
 
 Matter Furnace (14)
 Drop Spider (8). GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER MAN
 Fueling Station (4)
 Industrial Engineering Tools (1)
 Garage (0)
 
 Oh hey, there's a Space Dock in the WIP folder. Might as well do a build for that too
 
 Size Increase 2 (150)
 Crew (125)
 Extra Dry-Dock (75)
 Built-In Engines (55)
 Shields (35)
 Defense Turrets-Plasma (15)
 Observation Deck (10)
 Hanger Bay Doors (0)
 
 =====================================
 
 [Infamous]
 
 Drawbacks: Remnant, Habit (1400).
 
 Rolled: New Marais. Hopefully the military will go some way towards discouring the DUP from operating too openly. Also be easier to bum a power recharge off someone here.
 
 Drifter, Age 18. Might as well have literally walked from one jump to the next.
 
 Lightning. A decisive factor in most technologically advanced jumps.
 
 Extra Power: Smoke (800). For crowd control. A prolonged battle just generates more stuff for me to use. Not to mention it's fairly common in most jumps.
 
 Strength (Free).
 Regen (700)
 Energy Form (400)
 
 Safe House (Free)
 Conduct Weapon (200). One of those batons Sherlock Holmes totes around in the Guy Ritchie movies
 M16A4 Assault Rifle (0). I'd spring for the sniper, but as I'm not fighting pokemon any more I'll probably have to do more middle distance gunfights.
 
 Plan is to stick to the city, doing research on where the DUP's hiding. When they come after me, I'll hightail it towards the military using Conduit power defensively so they have to deal with public attention. Once I narrow down their location, I'll assault their base in Conduit form to protect my identity whilst sabotaging their operations.
 
 Oh, and I'm going to end up huffing off transformers. Should probably do that somewhere private.
 
 =====================================
 
 [Pokemon Dungeon]
 
 Rolled: Treasure Town
 
 Going with Aron (700). Like many adorable pokemon, it grows up into a badass looking...dinosaur thing?
 Crush (Free). ...oh boy.
 Hyperkinesis (300). I am tiny, but FIERCE. Also will come in handy for mastering my various human forms.
 Starter: Torchic (0). Yep, just like old times. Except I walk on four legs now.
 
 ...please stop pecking me.
 
 Starting moves (me)
 Iron Tail
 Metal Claw
 Metal Burst
 Mud Slam
 
 Starting moves (Torchic)
 Peck
 Fire Spin
 Flamethrower
 Ember
 
 Welp, let's stop wasting time and go level up.
 
 =====================================
 
 [Mario]
 
 Drawbacks: Weirdness/Danger/Death Magnet. (1600) Okay, so it's really I Wanna Be The Guy land. Time to stick to the cities.
 
 Rolled Monstro Town. Great, can't start training soon enough!
 
 Human, Age 23.
 
 Smithy's Army (600). In between training sessions, I'll be building shit.
 Super Jump (900). This'll be useful in the Wuxia jump too!
 Engineer (1200). I can rebuild my minions, make them stronger, faster.
 
 Quartz Charm (1600)
 
 Another world, another deathtrap. But without an actual god after my life, I think I'll get by-espeically now I can jump gud. Hopefully, halfway through my time here I'll have a veritable /country/ full of jumping mechanical minions which I will use to zerg rush the bosses, pitfalls and other dangers. And if that's not enough, by the time I'm done training I'll approach peak human condition from all my desperate fights for survival, and learn to fight so good I invent a new martial art based around jumping. I'm aiming to have so many minions I can literally have them build bridges made of their bodies to walk over shit I don't want to deal with. Come to think of it, I should probably start a legit country for these guys! I'll call it Minion Kingdom, and I'll be-
 
 ...shit, I'm turning into a final boss. Memo: Maintain good diplomatic relations with the Mushroom Kingdom, and under no circumstances kidnap a princess no matter how good an idea it might seem at the time.
 
 =====================================
 
 [Sonic]
 
 Ha. Haha. HA HA HA GOTTA GO FAST.
 
 Drawbacks: Super Drowning, Mute. (1300) OH I'M SORRY ANTHROPOMORPHIC TALKING SQUIRREL, I CAN'T HERE YOU OVER THE WIND SHEER.
 Adventure
 
 Location: Soleanna. Sure beats Eggmanland.
 
 Unchanged, Age=18
 
 Perks (Oh boy, HERE WE GO)
 Vacuum Immunity (1100)
 Super Sonic Speed (1000)
 Super Anchoring (700)
 Iron Density (500)
 2KEWL4PHYSICS (200)
 
 Super Sneakers (0)
 
 It doesn't matter what I do here. It doesn't matter what happens. It doesn't matter whether I make friends or enemies, because I've won and the only losers here are the feeble suggestions of physics. At this point, me being a hardened fighter with superhuman jumping, minion creation and some sort of not-kamehameha just seems redundant when I can rape inertia with inpunity.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Shovel Knight]
 
 Drawbacks: Black Me. Treasure Obsessed (1300). Treat Black Me as a sparring partner, and I'm going to be treasure hunting anyway, so.
 
 Another 8 for location? I love this dice roller. Armor Outpost it is.
 
 Identity: Dropping in to this motherfucker at age 24. I was going to join the Order of No Quarter but then someone spoiled me
 
 And-I shall be known as Jumpy Midget Feels Knight! My fighting style involves precision throwing mechanical midgets at people, jumping on their heads and firing an aura sphere (what even are these things? My SHONEN COURAGE made manifest?) at their backs. What I lack in skill I make up in unpredictability.
 
 Gift of the Black Knight (800). What's this? You think Jumpy Midget Feels Knight is a JOKE?! Well, I think you're AN EARTHQUAKE VICTIM.
 Inconspicuous (Free). I am a master of disguise. Ignore the midget robot gnawing at your ankles, it has nothing to do with me.
 Gift of the Baz (1100). Even gods weep to behold my thrown midgets and martial jumping.
 Famous (1200). ...And apparently I'm a good role model?
 Friendly (1300). Huh, go figure.
 
 If two idiots in armor jumping at each other while throwing midgets and charging up fireballs with the power of their feelings doesn't amuse Jump-Chan, I don't know what will. Anyway, I figure I'll train for a while, live off society's adoration and then join Shovel Knight's quest for lack of anything better to do.
 
 I'm basically the Augus of Shovel Knight jump. Jumpy Midget Feels Knight doesn't fight for good, and he doesn't fight for evil, he just fights.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Borderlands]
 
 [secret] Phase 1 of Operation Midget Thunder is complete [/secret]
 
 Drawbacks: Out with the Old, In with the New. I've taken on gods, the concept of momentum and also some guy with a shovel. Bring. It. On.
 
 Age: 24. Rolled the Tartarus station. Wow, that's gotta be hell on the tires.
 
 Background: Vault Hunter. Hunting the most dangerous game of all: Midgets. (100)
 
 Fight For Your Life (Free)
 Don't Do It For Free (100)
 Bad Ass (300). More like BADDER ASS.
 Legendary Luck (700). Sure hope I find me some loose midgets.
 Action Skill (1200): Phone a Friend. THANK YOU JUMP-CHAN AND LADY LUCK!
 
 The Basics (Free)
 Unique Drop: Shield (1600).
 
 It should be apparent this point that I'm basically going to deal with my enemies by ignoring them and continue kidnapping midgets, domesticating them with equal parts fear/charisma/sheer force of will, stuffing them into the bags that are their natural habitat and tossing them into my warehouse. and then modifying them into cybernetic abominations devoid of sapience
 
 ====================================
 
 [Wuxia]
 
 Drawbacks: Dishonor, Japs (1600)
 
 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Welp, that shit's getting derailed alright.
 
 Monk (100)
 
 Deja-Fu (400) You are already dead. Literally.
 Adaptability (1300). It really does feel like the Liberal Arts course of wuxia
 The Art of Yun-Woo (1600). Gonna train this into full-on Gunkata in a couple jumps
 
 Student: Asami Soto (Free). Kyukoshinryu, Aikido. Also human companion get, woot woot.
 
 I'm just another wrinkly little bald man, doing muh kung fu forms, sipping muh green tea. Occasionally I look at those young whippersnappers punching bricks or whatever and shake my head dismissively.
 
 Ninjas are honorless rogues who will probably attack me with poison while they think I'm having a hangover, or pased out. Since I also have no honor, I'll be ready with all the guns, explosives, magic and backpack midgets I've accumulated from other jumps. In the meantime, I'll act /extra/ medidative whenever I think I'm being watched.
 
 I won't do shit about my rival. I'll just pretend he doesn't exist. But everywhere I go, my retinue will include another little bald wrinkly smiling man who I will treat with the utmost respect and honour. I am assuming my rival is familiar with Rule One, and will thus have nightmares over what might he must possess that I can completely ignore his whining about his honor or whatever. When he resorts to using the forbidden technique, he will be reckless, allowing me to effortlessly parry and curbstomp his shit with deja fu empowered by ki accumulation, beating him senseless before he can retaliate. After I slit his throat when I'm done, I'll pay the old actor what he's owed.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Metal Gear Rising]
 
 Age 24, starting in-Pakistan? Huh.
 
 Dropping in. Drop in a best.
 
 Drawbacks: Chronic Backstabbing Disorder, Tragic Past (1500). Hounded by nightmares, commiting unspeakable war crimes against midgets-Jumper Anon has /seen some shit/, and now it's time to vent. For what it's worth, I've got plenty of experience in working under pressure.
 
 Zandatsu Approved! (1000). Let 'er rip, etc.
 Master Swordsman (400). Now now, no need to be shy MGR Jump.
 CQC (100). That's it?! I could've wiped out those men /without/ these cyborg enhancements!
 Upgraded Vision (50). Everything goes blue and slows down when I fight sometimes, it's slightly worrying.
 Box (50). There are like 3 people out there in the general area who stand a good chance of killing me, and two of them have no concept of stealth. As mentioned in Wuxia jump, I myself am an honorless doge.
 
 Not sure on whether my wuxia hax will carry over, but Borderlands' luck, Shovel Jump's combat training, Mario's jumping training and Sonic Jump's utter contempt for energy transfer will give me an edge over the average cyborg ninja. Get a job at World Marshall, build a reputation as a (somewhat unhinged) guy who can get literally impossible jobs done, steal progressively better swords off the poor bastards I kill.
 
 I'm not accepting a place with the Winds of Destruction of course, partly because I'm expecting the events of Revengeance to play out and mostly because I'm constantly convinced they're out to kill me. All of them. And Senator Armstrong's going to end me with a meteoric elbow drop any second now oh god I need to sleep with the lights on tonight
 
 Yet again, I decide to help out the underdog (anti)hero.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Mega Man X]
 
 Drawbacks: Bloodthirsty "Bot", Hunted Hunter (1400)
 
 Rolled 4th Overland Unit. Huh, sounds practically restful the way it's written.
 
 Drop-In, Age 20. And now the cybernetics Jump-Chan's shoved into me are joined by a hefty dose of nanomachines, son
 
 Fortune's Smile (600). I want ALL the luck.
 Chassis Upgrade (900). I don't know how strong Mega Man X is, but he's apprently stronger than a tank.
 Self Repair (1000). No cyborg juice to squeeze. No problems-holy shit Lifesavers, really?
 Z-Saber (1400). It looks like a lightsaber. It's apparently better than a lightsaber. Go figure.
 
 I hope this Hunter Vile character is strong enough to not immediately die when a veteran, supersonic, ninja nanomachine cyborg master swordsman armed with a super-lightsaber who can punch through time, has trained long enough to MASTER jumping and scare gods by poking the earth and making it quake shanks him from behind. Because my true strength is, and always has been, fighting dirty like a motherfucker
 
 Meanwhile, my army of cyber-midgets continues training and improving in a warehouse far, far away. I don't know where I'll be jumping next, only that it's probably fucked beyond recovery if I go there as a drop-in.
 
 If I ever find Dr Light or Dr Wiley, I'll have a serious conversation with them re: Power copying technology, busters and grafting both to midgets.
 
 ====================================
 Ravenloft
 
 Age: 21
 Sex: Male (1000)
 Background: Drop In
 Domain: Barovia
 
 Skills:
 Trained Warrior (900). We medieval manly man now
 Physically Fit (800). Gonna have to keep running, after al
 Iron Will (700). SO MUCH IRON IN MY WILL
 Magic Resistance (400). Always useful, this
 Sun Blade (300). A grossly incandescent weapon, that will surely light up this night!
 Elixer of Healing (200). Sure hope I can reinforce this flask, haha!
 "Creepy" Doll (100). I did not realize /why/ this doll was creepy at the time. I certainly never tried to throw my buddy away.  And then one day, I wake to several creatures of the night stitched together-and for some reason the doll is pressed right up to my face, while holding my hand. Oh dear…
 Lucky Charm (0). For luck, ‘n stuff.
 
 Complications:
 Unwanted Harem (+100) Ladies, you are all beautiful in your own way but HEY LOOK, A DISTRACTION!
 Disfigured: Leperous skin (+100). Such is the curse of the chosen un-er, nevermind
 Holy (+100). Praise the Jump-Chan!
 Phobic: Abandonment (+200). D-don’t leave me alone you guys…
 
 Total bonus points: 500
 
 Extra stuff:
 Mist Walker: (200). I’m not letting some damn mist get in the way of my walks!
 The haunted stone: (100). Yay, new friends!
 Sacred Scarf: (0). It’s sacred AND fuzzy!
 
 I have no idea what's going on here, but there's nothing a little JOLLY COOPERATION can't improve-
 
 -(cue disappointment and jumper tears)
 
 ====================================
 WHAT? JUMPER-KUN IS EVOLVING!
 
 CONGRATULATIONS: JUMPER-KUN HAS EVOLVED INTO PROTOMAN-JUMPER!
 
 THERE ARE NO HEROES LEFT IN MAN!
 ====================================
 [Wakfu]
 
 Drawbacks; Ogrest's Chaos, A Madman's Wrath (1600)
 
 Rolled: Sufokia. INTERESTING.
 
 Bounty Hunter (1500)
 
 Eliatrope (1200), Age=13. Perhaps in another life I would have grown up to be as sweet as Yugo. I didn't choose the bounty hunter lyfe, the bounty hunter lyfe chose me
 
 Skills/Abilities
 Wilderness Survival (1100). Because 80% of the place is wilderness.
 Willpower (1000). I ain't never giving up, yo.
 Combat Training (Free). Miniscule compare to previous jumps, but sure, why not.
 Cooking (700). Just to drive home how I'm basically Yugo's evil counterpart.
 
 Gear and supplies
 Shushu Weapon (300). Calling dibs on Ombrage's ring.
 10 Wisdom Candies (100)
 Tofu (50)
 50,000 Kamas (0)
 
 I'm Yugo, if Yugo was more cynical, took money to hunt down criminals and had better access to raw power at his age. Nevertheless, I intend to ally with Yugo when Nox becomes a threat-and growing up in the same village can only help this. No derailing this plot too much-but just perhaps I can save Tristepin from an untimely end, and convince Qilby to surrender into my custody-to another world.
 
 ...I'm basically the Gary Oak of Wakfu jump.
 
 And of course-what counterpart would be complete without their own party? Through a series of misadventures I encounter Kriss La Krass, Maude, Remington and Grany Smisse to form an informal party of n'er do wells. I will neither confirm or deny my intentions to /ss/ Frida Mofette. The world of Wakfu is full of curvy hips, after all.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Dragon's Dogma]
 
 Drawbacks: Please, Stop Talking, Brine (1300).
 
 Rolled: Greatwall Encampment. Huh, seems like moving to Gran Soren would be a prudent idea.
 
 Drop in, Age 20. By now, I'm kinda used to just winging it when I crash into a new jump
 
 Can I /not/ take a vocation? I just want to fall back on my master swordsmanship, nanomachine cyborg durability and decent charisma to get by-
 
 Arisen/Master of Pawns (500). As for pawn: Sorcerer with Articulacy (companion get! Nonsapient companion but still. Haven't had anyone to share this journey with except my kung fu disciple so far, who has probably graduated to full-time sparring partner at this point). Apart from the not-Hadouken from Pokemon Jump, magic prowess is one of the few things I'm short on.
 
 Dragonforged (1000). I am not sure how this will interact with a Z-Saber, but it can only end in hilarity and/or a violent reaction between dragonfire and Mega Man-era energy.
 
 Arisen Bond (1300). Hey, you never know when you need to take control of someone.
 
 I most certainly did /not/ come here with someone I care ab-oh god no the asshole dragon stole Midget Prototype Beta-Gamma. I'ma chase him down with supersonic speed and wipe him off the face of the Earth with precision the likes of which has never been seen before. Hang in there, Prototype Beta-Gamma, you gotta stay in one piece-for science.
 
 This is likely to be a relatively quick jump thanks to my mastery of deja fu and Mario jumping, although I do appreciate that if those vocations are any indication people won't instantly die when I tap them. Not that I'll be meaningfully interacting with anyone until I find that goddamn dragon.
 
 (zandatsu intensifies)
 
 ...I wonder if there's a bonus boss somewhere.
 
 >Ending-Dark Arisen.
 
 >Rolled: 5
 
 I really, really shouldn't have tried to jump over that portal into the void the first time. At least he didn't think I'd be crazy enough to do it a second time. Ha.
 
 ...The thought occurs that I am more machine than man at this point. If I can't reforge myself as a person or replicate the process amongst my midgets, I'll reforge the nanomachines infused in my body by wading into the dragonfire. I'm a god damn genius.
 
 >Actual Ending-Hero to Zero
 
 Sayonara, Dragon's Dogma. I barely knew ye.
 
 
 ====================================
 
 [DOTA]
 
 I rolled Dire Evil. As edgy as that sounds, I'm kind of relieved. Radiant good clearly isn't going to approve of my lobotomized midget hivemind. Though to be honest I'm pretty sure even Dire Evil is going to look at me weird when I show up with an army of the things, Blaziken and also a spellcasting Pawn.
 
 High risk, high reward eh? This is my kinda jump. Go ahead, pick my teammates Jump-Chan, I wouldn't recognise any of them anyway.
 
 Drawbacks: 12 Year Old Team, Strong Foes, No Buybacks, Unreliable Gold (1000). Time to take the initiative as a leader. 12 year olds like Sonic and ninjas, right? This situation is...suboptimal, but workable. Also as per >>34806870 I just reforged my nanomachines in dragonfire, and I'm feeling more indetructable than usual.
 
 Strength, the Warrior. I'm already faster than sound and capable of superhuman jumping. With my durability, Z-saber and sword skills I might as well get right in the thick of it.
 
 Peak human (Free) (Kek)
 Leadership (100) (My team needs an adult. I AM that adult)
 Magic Immunity (200) (Currently my magical talent is nonexistant, so this is a must)
 Planning Skills (400) (Just to cover all the bases not covered by my CQC training and general god-fighting experience)
 Blink (1000) (NEW ABILITY GET)
 
 Leadership buffs and mobility can only be a good thing when leading a team of 12 year olds. There's like 4 artifacts that could pose a serious threat to me, so I'll be relying on hit-and-run and studying my opponents' capabilities, with my Pawn watching my back.
 
 As I have only buffed the strength of my enemies, I'm hoping they'll be overconfident and also kinda incompetent. No one (except the spawning minions) will notice the joint midget-Pokemon commando team launch an attack on the good guys' Ancient while all the heroes are pinned down. Alternatively, I'll have the midgets play defense via gorilla warfare while I lead a daring assault to zandatsu the Ancient at Mach 2.
 
 ==================================
 
 [Long Live The Queen]
 
 Rolled: Cheerful. The Lumen is strong in this one...
 
 Skills: Intrigue, Conversation, Expression
 
 Drawbacks: Stop Helping Me, Share the Pain, Double or Nothing, Bad Influence, Servants in the Works, The Power of the Good Lady Compells You (1400)
 
 Since the begining of Jumpchain I've been considering scenarios where I am unable to communicate with my companions through conventional means. I have a certain codeword which I will teach Elodie to say that translates to "stop helping me". The signal is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
 
 I See You+Not Touching You+Setting Golems (500).
 Savvy Princess (600).
 Lumen (900).
 Extra Mastery (1400): Faith
 
 Having asked around/watched some playthroughs, my understanding is that Elodie is a natural musician and high stakes scenarios are best solved through diplomancy. I'd definately talk to her about economics and medicine on the side, and I ultimately chose Faith or weapons since I could probably teach her how to fight real good based on my skills at that point in the jump.
 
 Having Elodie along would be...interesting. Based on her problem-solving and general experiences, I reckon she'd have a stronger moral compass than Jumper-Kun. More importantly, while I hope to instill loyalty and gratitude in her by training her to be a strong, independant ruler, I can't help but wonder if she might covertly manipulate my decisions to be less, well, morally ambiguous due to said strength and independence. It's a graceful dance of me trying to teach her pragmatism and her trying to appeal to my compassion. Tempered by my desire to have a powerful apprentice who can't pull a Better Man on me. She's the Todd to my Mayor Prentiss.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Berserk]
 
 Drawback: Wanted (1200). I probably ended up fighting World Marshall with Raiden in MGR Jump. I'll deal with this.
 
 Rolled Vritanis, Age 18.
 
 Drop in. Have to be serious for this one.
 
 Word of God (600)
 Gift of Words (900) With these perks, I hope to stand above the average invincible biomechanical cyborg samurai
 Technology (1050)
 Keen Eye (1100)
 Guile (1200)
 
 Apostle is tempting. Very, very tempting. Demonic strength and superpowers, with regeneration as the cherry on top? It can only advance my agenda to survive the jumpchain. It can only prove my resolve to survive at all costs. And I'm already hated by at least one group. I might as well prove their fears justified.
 
 But Fuck. That. Noise. Arrogant Godhand bastards think I'm weak and beneath them. ME. The day I even imply I agree is the day I give up and go home. I'll show them. And I'll show their minions all the midget that are my fury given form.
 
 With my Royal Aura, I'll lead my biomechanical army to crush outlaws as a warlord, and reorganize them under my banner; I'm an absolute meritocrat, and I'll even take on other Apostles if they swear alliegance to me alone coughcoughexplosivecollars while keeping their rapine and pillaging to a socially acceptable level. With my leadership, I'll forge them into a fighting force that can /take/ Kushan. With the skills I've honed in the jumps, with the strength of man and machine, I will ruin Ganishka's shit without fail, final form or no.
 
 Oh, and I'll keep up to date on the Band of the Hawk's movements. Gotta put that Griffith fellow out of his misery before he can actually pose a threat to the Band of the Half-Men.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Dresden Files]
 
 Drawbacks: NOPE. It ain't worth it, bub.
 
 Starting in Springfield.
 
 Age 26. 'Ey, 'Arry. Ah'm a wizzard 'arry
 (200).
 
 Unshakeable Faith (Free). Believe in Jump-Chan, who believes in me. Obviously I will not discuss this belief for the duration of the jump.
 
 Starborn (400). Might carry over as improved mental defence. Might not, who knows. Either way, I don't have time for Sharkface's mental whammy bullshit.
 
 Big Battery (700). Sustainable magic acquired. Phase 2 of Operation Midget Thunder is complete
 
 Spirit of Intellect (1000). At last, a suitable lieutenant/co-designer for my armies.
 
 Step one of surviving DF Jump is to acquire some simple guns. Step two is making an offence focus, a defensive focus and an all purpose focus with assistance from not-Bob, all the while fending off the White Council's demands on my time and energy which I will have to remember to not expose as superhuman.
 
 Playing wizard politics ain't worth it, and neither is getting entangled with the powers-that-be. Literally running rings around the Red Court sounds much, much more fun.
 
 >be in morgan's team
 >be instrumental in leading the vanguard against the Red King's inner circle
 >Have to hold back to keep my cover, doing wizard stuff
 >Morgan starts carving a path towards Big Red
 >Red King starts running like a bitch
 >RULESOFNATURE.jpeg
 >Supersonic zandatsu-without a silver warden sword
 >Still ruin his shit; fucker loses an arm, leg and bowel control getting away,
 >Back at base, Morgan starts bitching to me over a beer about this Dresden fella
 >Red King's face when I show up at the assault-rescue with the rest of Dresden's buddies
 
 ...note to self: Keep all midget experiments in the warehouse; midgets may explode from unstable magic
 
 ====================================
 
 [FMA]
 
 FMA. Welp, can't be worse than Berserk Jump.
 
 Rolled-South? Is that good or bad? Could be worse, I guess?
 
 Drawback: Hostile Rival (1200). I am not very familiar with FMA, but unless he can break out some Type-Moon shit I'm not too worried.
 
 Age 24, and...University. My army could greatly benefit from my studies here.
 
 Advanced Formula (Free)
 Simplified Formula (100)
 Alkahestry (400). Don't mind me, just rounding out the ol' skillset.
 
 Letters of Recommendation and Permission (700)
 State Alchemist Title (1100)
 Advanced Automail (1200)
 
 In a change of pace from sudden, unpredictable violence, I'm going to build myself a reputation as a world-class alchemist through study, diligence and connections with whoever wrote those letters. I have no idea what this entails, but it can only end in riches and fame. At some point, I will discover both the warehouse and my minion creation powers. With the minion creation of Mario tech, access to World Marshall weapons schematics and any junk I've collected from Mega Man Jump I'll be able to become an innovator in my field.
 
 While I'm all for transcending the human condition, going hormunculus seems more trouble thanit's worth. You won't be catching me mysterious alchemist group.
 
 On top of my almost ROYAL bearing, my rival is going to discredit himself if he keeps trying to oppose me. I'm not even sure if I need to deal with him at all.
 
 And once I leave this jump, I'll have /so many new upgrades for the midgets/
 
 ====================================
 
 [Warcraft]
 
 Drawbacks: Ire of the Lich King, Archimonde's Wrath (1500). Preliminary biometric analysis of designation "Doombreed" and "Abomination" entities reveal a large surface area, indicating greater than average mass. This suggests these entities have a proportionally large digestive track. Evisceration and further incision of said digestive track is an optimal course of action.
 
 Drop-In, Age 22. And human, of course. Apparently I start in Stormwind, which I dimly remember as being a prime target for a certain death knight.
 
 Devotion Aura (Free). Wait, WHAT? I...I don't remember Warcraft humans being anything like 40K orks.
 
 Spirit Chain (300). That's a neat trick, and it makes me feel more comfortable bringing companions along for the ride.
 Pulverse (900). For ripping and tearing purposes.
 Summon Phoenix (1500).This is the greatest distraction ever, and it recharges. I will use it to lead demons and undead on a merry chase while I head straight for their base and start wrecking merry hell.
 
 With the addition of alchemy, various Dresdenverse enchantments, CQC programming and the hilarity that is spirit chain, my midgets are more than capable of stalling the demons' and undead's advance. Leaving me free to wander wherever I want over Azaroth, killing the obnoxiously vicious wildlife in my way.
 
 My Warcraft memories are blurry, but I'm pretty sure that Jaina Proudmoore, Thrall and the hippy elves eventually have to fight Archimonde. I /really don't/ want to interact with people who spam HONOR HONOR BY THE LIGHT every other word, but I feel a degree of cooperation is necessary. I vaguely remember Archimonde as being the only thing that can stand up to that one cheat that lets your units instant-kill other units. Then again, he /does/ sound like the only thing that could put up a decent fight for the next few jumps. I'm a little conflicted here.
 
 And then Jumper-Anon was a demon hunter
 
 ====================================
 
 [Harry Potter]
 
 Drawbacks: Prisoner of Azkaban, Oblivious, Prophecy (1600)
 
 Drop-In (1600)
 Middle Class (1550)
 
 Hufflepuff
 
 Philosopher's Stone (1250)
 Nullification (750)
 Veela Blood (350)
 Wandlore (200)
 Cleanblooded (100)
 Occlumancy (0)
 
 Thestrals do exist here after all; at the very least I can collect some hairs to make a super-wand at some point. And I've got a whole jumpchain to git gud at technowizardry
 
 Just a perfectly ordinary Hufflepuff, nothing to see here
 
 ====================================
 
 [Dragon Age]
 
 Drawbacks: A Feast For Crows, Apostate! Oh no, not medieval era weaponry. Whatever will I do. (1600)
 
 Rolled 8. Ferelden.
 
 Quin-I mean Vashoth, Age 24. Agent of the Darkspawn (200). I'm assuming that the Gift of the Baz was so effective the Darkspawn recognize me as the most powerful individual in existence, and is pre-emptively integrating with my body like Venom, attracted by my superhuman will /oh god that's lewd/. Oh, and I'm taking an Ogre. I'm going to paint him lime green and call him Shrek and graft dinky little antennae on his head and teach him to love swamps and also force him to sing Smash Mouth songs
 
 Arcane Warrior. Given my ridiculous willpower reserves this can only end in hilarity for me, and tragedy for everyone else.
 
 Ring of No Wishes (300)
 Andraste's AshesX2 (900). Must resist urge to walk up to templars and shout 420 BLAZE IT.
 Golem (1200). Won't even need the control rod. My charisma is all I need to command loyal minions.
 Enchantment? (1600). Yep, that's an enchantment alright.
 
 I can't think of anything this world has that I really want, the generic doomsday villains really want me on their side for some reason and if I recall correctly fucking EVERYONE is either a racist, a tribal communist, a smarmy asshole or a crazy wizard.
 
 There is only one way to keep myself entertained here, and that is to /tear down fucking everything/. Crows wanna shank me? Lay siege to Antiva with my darkbros. Templars hating on me? EARTHQUAKE IN YOUR FACE.
 
 ...I hope the warden puts up a decent fight...
 
 ====================================
 
 [Elder Scrolls]
 
 Drawbacks: Ebony Warrior, My Favourite Drinking Buddy (1600). PARTY HARD, ALL NIGHT ERRY NIGHT.
 
 Drop-drop-droppin-in.
 
 Rolled-1?! Crap I'm an elf. Jump-Chan, /why have you forsaken me/
 
 And apparently I start in cat people land. Welp, at least khajit has wares, if you have coin
 
 Birthsign-Atronach (50).
 
 Highborn (Free). Sweet, mo' magics.
 Disease Resistant (Free). Hey, being an elf...is mechanically viable.
 Summoner (250). I want Daedra hearts. I want to implant my midgets with Daedra hearts
 Thu'um (850). Not as spectacular as some of my other tricks, but it'll do as a distraction.
 Wabbajack (1100). Potential superweapon GET.
 Dweemer Spider (1200). Yet another thing to reverse engineer for midget enhancement.
 Altar of Spellmaker (1600). Commencing the scientific fusion of all magic into a Grand Unified Theory of Thaumaturgy. I hope my pursuits entertain Sanguine to the point where he enables me to drunkenly gain insight, waking up covered in formulae and discoveries I could never have imagined
 
 In this jump, I shall abandon all notion of right and wrong in the pursuit of wizardry. That is all.
 
 ====================================
 
 [One Piece]
 
 This is sort of awkward for me, because I have very little knowledge of one piece other than a) there are pirates, b) there are also fruit that give you super powers but make you sink in water and c) the more pirate-y your name is, the more personally dangerous you are. I also gather that it is full of ridiculously high powerlevels in the way only shounen manga can be. Hence, Drop-In is slightly less of a boon than it could have been.
 
 Drawbacks: Plot-Bound, Warlord's Fury (1600). My understanding is that anyone with "beard" in their name is a nigh-invincible bastard. While I'm aware this guy is also goddamn terrifying, he is marginally less so than the beard master race.
 
 Rolled: Drum Island, Age 21.
 
 Drop-In. No taking risks.
 
 Nakama (Free). Er, yay?
 Haki+Conquerer's Haki (600+200). I don't know quite how this works, but I'm assuming it looks something like Hokuto Shinken without the punching. Sounds fuckin' sweet.
 Devil Fruit Tier 4-Legendary (1500). Rolled-
 
 -oh god I wish i knew how to cap multiple rolls. Nat 8+8. I can't make this shit up.
 
 So-does my gravity control nullify the sinking problem? I...I don't know. I don't even know what I'm going to do with this, other than train the shit out of it.
 
 >tfw I don't have enough monies to afford the D
 
 Eternal Pose (1600). Why not, seems useful in a navigation-focused Jump.
 
 I-I guess the plot throws all my plans out the windows? I'm just going to play this like Rincewind: Sit around fishing, relaxing at the beach, slowly master my gravity hax/psychic pirate powers-and take evasive maneuvers the minute I see the plot rearing its ugly head.
 
 Given the nature of drawbacks, I'll just end up running straight into the Plot anyway. Actually, I could probably run on water if I really, really try.
 
 This is the first jump where Jumper-kun has been genuinely confused and distressed.
 
 ====================================
 [Sims 3]
 
 Drawbacks: Technophobe, Error 12 (1400). It's taking all my resolve not to shy away from this keyboard.
 
 Rolled: Moonlight Falls. Well, at least I know what my origin will be.
 
 Rolled: Child. HA HA TIME FOR HORMONES
 
 Occult (200).
 
 Ghost (Free). Get spooked, non-ghosts.
 
 Genie (500). It's like a walking kiosk of charisma buffs, except I don't need to pay anything.
 Guardin' GnomeX2 (600). Weeping Angel detected. Further lab analysis for integration into Operation Midget Thunder required.
 Llama (800). This is literally the most terrifying and hilarious option for anything I have ever seen, considering the shit my Jumper has experienced.
 Omni-Plant Seed (900). Jackpot.
 Resurrect-O-Nomitron (1000). Bit of an incentive for anyone I invite to stasis pod, but I bet the bony bastard will charge extra for them not always technically being "loved ones"
 No Bills Ever (1200). Because fuck mortgages.
 Llama (1400).
 
 ...
 
 ...I'm writing all this retroactively. Right now, this companion is something silly like a llama costume with waggling people legs. But if my Stand embodies my fighting spirit and my Reality Marble my innermost essence, then this entity personifies my imagination. As I evolve ever further along the path to transcendence, so will this embodiment become something...other. Something that should not exist. A horrific incarnation of mental instability, stifled passion and immense will, the figurative minotaur in my labyrinth. This awful thing.
 
 When my foes look upon this nightmare, they will know that nothing will ever be right again.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Animal Crossing]
 
 Animal Crossing!
 
 Drop-In. Still giggling from the shit Sims do, I assume. Also I seem to be locked into being a geometric human. Eh, it is what it is.
 
 Golden Tools: Shovel (250). Anything can be grown with the shovel. Like, say, a biometallic midget.
 Command Performance (500). This is one of those things I never knew I wanted until I figured out what it was.
 Sociable (750). At last, something familiar! A charisma boon!
 Nooks and Associates Contracters (1000).
 
 I like how vague that last one is. I have a number of things which could be very loosely defined as "technology, vehicles and property". First off I'll have those tanooki max upgrade the nanomachines infused throughout my body.
 
 ...I realise this could get very lewd very quick and against my will, but hey, how much harm could they do in half a minute? Gotta make sacrifices for dat power.
 
 ====================================
 [Nine to Five Jump]
 
 Drawbacks: Rolling Stone, The One Who Will Get Away (1800). I'm tempted to pick Unfriendly Ghost just to find out /if/ I still have nads, but I feel that would be going against the spirit of the jump. Ah well, time for rough friends with benefits sex with my companions to consol my achy-breaky heart.
 
 Age 26, Business Owner (100). We Entrepreneur now.
 Tyrant (400). Times must be tough for the Crips/Bloods to be doing business with a monster beyond reality. Also now I've implicitly made a pact with the abstract concept of crime. I wonder how a certain daedric prince feels about this.
 Timing! (Free). I have it!
 References...X3 (Free). I choose you, Crazy Prototype Woman. She once punched all the blood out of a man. She'll do wonders in HR.
 The Assitant (700). Because having someone who can actually run things seems like a good addition.
 Funny Guy (800). Oh you, I'll kill you last.
 Three Strikes (1200). Oh. Yes.
 
 Apartment UpgradeX2 (1400). The wackiest erotic-sitcom-cosmic-horror show ever.
 Car (Free)
 Cane (1800).
 
 ...
 
 christ almighty, I got myself a Noble Phantasm. I got myself EVERY SINGLE FUCKING NOBLE PHANTASM, up to and including EA.
 
 fuck.
 
 wow.
 
 guys
 
 guys i thought this was supposed to be a chill jump
 
 ====================================
 
 [Marvel]
 
 Drawbacks: Parker Luck and Changed (1500). I'm a permanently endangered NEET and also my veins glow in the dark.
 
 Rolled: The Present Day. Kind of a relief really, given my superhero lore mainly covers the DCAU, the movies, fragmented memories of X Men: Evolution and Teen Titans.
 
 Rolled: Latveria (!). I. I don't even.
 
 ...Going in as a student (100) for reasons which should soon be clear. Holy shit I'm a 10 year old little boy. I mean, wow.
 
 Brains (Free)
 Strength (200)
 Toughness (300)
 Energy (400)
 Speed (1000). FASTFASTFAST
 Helm of Xorn (1300). Oh boy, I hope Magneto has a spare.
 PartnerX2.
 
 "Partner" 1: Combat Training (200), Strength (100)
 
 "Partner" 2: Shapeshifting (250), Sidearm (300)
 
 (Double companion get woot woot, it's not such a lonely journey anymore...at least Qilby's having fun.)
 
 In a city, unplagued by the crime because of its genius autocrat. A city you could know, but not imagine how fundamentally rooted its economy is in Doom's various superscience schemes. A city of buildings and streets. A city that didn't need heroes or villains. Two such men are...Skeleton Man! And Skin Man!
 
 Out of a job, these old rivals have been inducted into a Latveria scheme to let parahumans be productive members of society! Starting with an unorthodox mentor programme with Anon: A luckless nebbish with a secret identity! Will his conscience be swayed by his childhood hero and that hero's rival hanging out with him? Will he go on an amazing adventure of friendship and justice with various other Marvel Superheroes(TM) or carry out an independent career? Find out in the next issue of ARTERY LAD!
 
 ====================================
 
 [Pacific Rim]
 
 Drawbacks: Jumper Alpha vs The World (1600). We King of Kaiju mode now.
 
 Rolled Hong Kong. Whoa-I'm probably standing literally right next to Pentocost's dead body or the destroyed jaeger hanger or something. That's not gonna earn me many friends.
 
 Experimental Kaiju/Human Hybrid (600). BUT WHO NEEDS FRIENDS WHEN YOU HAVE POWER?! Also age 26.
 
 Iron Skin (200)
 Carapace (350)
 Shedding Armor (400)
 Atomic Breath (600).
 Wall of Flame (800). You gonna fight with the champ, you gon get burnt like a chump
 Toughness (Free)
 Might (Free)
 Strength (Free)
 Wings (950). In tandem with my Mario training, I'm going to wield precision butt stomps on my opponents
 Bladed Appendage (1000).
 Cryo-Breath, Multiple Tails and Acidic Feelers (Free). To slow down anything that can somehow tank atomic breath.
 
 Nothing fancy, just a roving apocalypse squaring off against mere monsters in search of his nemesis. Except, thanks to Wuxia Jump, /I can spray atomic fire through time/. There are no words for how cool that is, any more than I can describe the humans' faces when I emulate the KT extinction event by Mario Jumping on my foes. Heck, thanks to Conquerer's Haki I might even have a chance at confusing the kaiju hivemind through sheer force of personality.
 
 Cat 10? GHIDORAH, I CHALLENGE YOU FOR THE KAIJU MONARCHY BY RIGHT OF ARMS
 
 ====================================
 
 [JoJo]
 
 Age, 19. And-it's suboptimal, but Bad-Blooded Brando (100).
 
 Rolled-The Pillar Men. I guess I'm spending the next 10 years surrounded by pretty, pretty men. And right after I became a tentacle monster too.
 
 Calisthenics/Dynamic Entry/Dramatic Persona/Joestar Secret Technique (Free). I want you to picture all these things being performed by a man-shaped mass of shadow tentacles.
 Prediction (Free). "Your next line is...'jesus christ, how horrifying'"
 Summon Steamroller (400). How could I /not/ pick this?
 The Stand: Judas Priest (900). Most durable, precise one on the list. If I'd come here before One Piece I'd have totally come as a Jojo though...
 Super Spin (1400). I wonder if through trial and error I can utilize the other Spin techniques since I already mastered the best technique. If nothing else, a nice hobby to pass the decades with.
 
 Contact Book (1500). Uh, Jump-Chan? This guy is clearly a planeswalker of some sort. Did...did you do this to him after he pissed you off?
 The Map (1600). My power over the meta grows ever stronger.
 
 I guess I'm one of Dio's illegitimate spawn? I'm totally going to bro it up with Joseph in Venice. I think I'll be the one Brando who's actually trying to redeem the Brando name by making amends with the Joestar family. I figure I'll handwave any non-Jojo powers I develop as consequences of my father's experiments at some point.
 
 As for what I do in my free time,
 
 >You expected Erina to send you off, Joseph? Too bad, it's me, Dicaprio!
 >Kars, you think you hold the Red Stone of Aja in the palm of your hand. But it is a fake placed their by me, DiGiorno!
 >Dio, you murdered my identical twin brother Dolittle, and his crossdressing cousin Diosephine in cold blood! Your own son and niece! I swear on my name as a Brando that I, Django Brando, shall avenge them!
 >I, D'ennis Inigo Brando, am an acquiantence of Mr Kira. If you have not heard of me I can only assume Yoshikage does not count you among his close friends.
 
 Meanwhile, Elodie gits gud at Hamon.
 
 Drawbacks: The 77 Rings (1600). I want to find an Arrowhead before I leave because reasons.
 
 I am morbidly fascinated as to whether the Pillar Men could take on someone like me when I remember my other powers, sans kaiju form. Going head to head with Perfect Kars would be...interesting.
 
 ...oh dear, unless I find that Arrowhead and those rings quickly I'm in for a wild, wild ride.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Reborn!]
 
 Drawback: Bounty, Ace of Spades (1500). I can't help but feel these two are related. First I want to find out who set the bounty; perhaps I can clear my name by ending them
 
 Rolled Catafalco Island. Defensive is good!
 
 Hitman, Age-11 (1400)?! So let me get this straight: I am a) a child soldier and b) terrifying enough that the uber prison guards /and/ a mysterious client want me killed? Wow.
 
 Going with Storm and Iron flames. It vaguely bothers me none of these flames can explicitly set anything on fire
 
 Hyper-Intuition (Free). A must, given the mess I'm in
 Additional Flame: Sun (1250). I'll /need/ that healing
 Flames of Night (650)
 Hyper Dying Will Mode (50)
 
 Well, at least it's clear I'm hunted for being some sort of horrifying anomaly in this world.
 
 Thrust Pack (0). For quick getaways and such
 
 This jump is rapidly resembling the premise of Elfen Lied: A horrifying child, probably ostracized by society, turns to the life of a killer. All the while pursued by at least two morally ambiguous organizations. At least I'll have something to talk to Raiden about when I revisit MGR jump in the future
 
 ====================================
 
 [Code Geass]
 
 Drawbacks: Public Enemy #1, Lame Family (1600). Oh Britannia, you just fucked with the wrong oniichan. Quick injured sibling, to the medbay!
 
 Rolled France.
 
 Noble (1400). We deadly aristocrat now
 
 Charisma (1100). MINIONS, TO ME!
 Tactical Genius (800). Britannia’s /not/ ready for this
 Geass: Rolled Mind Wiper (0).  OH YES
 Safe House (Free)
 
 And so Britannia now has two Lelouchs to deal with, except one of them can throw Knightmares around
 
 ====================================
 
 [Hellsing]
 
 Objective-Millennium.
 
 The Art of War (100). Sun Tzu, you magnificent bastard!
 Deus Ex Machina Mk2 (400). You thought zeppelins were bad? Now I'm actually using cutting age tech.
 Nazi Firearms (Free). RACIST firearms.
 Holy Magic (800). The last thing you ever see coming from a Nazi
 Puppetmaster's Strings (900). Memo: Get training from Walter in these
 Iscariot Standard Issue (1000). Glock, shotgun and Barett Anti-Material rifle.
 
 Why settle for control over the EU? Through a complex network of trade agreements and political connections I will infiltrate our agents in the upper echelons of Chinese, Russian and American government. Meanwhile, I'll give individual agents like Tubalcain and Rip a free hand in killing as many people as they want. I want Hellsing and Iscariot to focus on the big bloodfests in their wake so that they miss out on the vampirisation of world leaders and their cabinets; needless to say, I'm willing to cut Britain as a loss.
 
 At the crucial moment, I'll have multiple first world countries declaring war-a FORMAL declaration of course-followed by global nuclear bombardment of everywhere except Europe. At this point, I'll have my army publically reveal themselves, proclaiming Milennium as the savior of Germany, and amidst the confusion insinuate that terrorist agents have infiltrated the Vatican.
 
 The main attack will hit the Vatican, while smaller division infect the populace of France, Belgium and the Netherlands; debating on whether or not to put some in Ireland too. The point is, I want to keep my hand hidden until the Hellsing Organization has to make a snap decision; if they engage in Rome I can set up an ambush en route and if they head straight for my headquarters-well, that's what my nanomachines from previous jumps are for and that's why my HQ is based in one of many identical floating nazi command carriers.
 
 Of course, none of this will actually help one bit against Alucard, Walter, Alexander or even some of their sidekicks. That's when I bust out my holy ace in the hole.
 
 With the rest of the world nuked into Fallout Jump, Germany-and Millenium-will be by default a world power as the only country left standing.
 
 See, guy who says I'm overly reliant on throwing midgets at people? I didn't mention my midgets once, and I will probably never use them unless things get really out of hand. They're pretty much the Ea to my jumper's Gilgamesh at this point
 
 Rewards: Dark Magic (400), Helena's Nail (1000)
 
 Anyway, so Jumper-Kun's doing his best evil belly laugh, possibly in Kaiju form depending on whether he had to fight Alucard, Walter or Alexander last, and he stabs himself with the nail. I imagine being hollowed out into thick strands of planty rope isn't a pleasant experience.
 
 On the plus side, there is a /small/ possibility I can take some of the Hellsing characters as familiars. Let me be clear: I am NOT stupid enough to put Alucard inside of myself, but even someone like Seras could pack quite a punch-and if the last few pages of the manga were any indication, there is a chance I can convince Walter to willing join my hivemind to become an immortal warrior throughout the ages.
 
 ====================================
 
 [DC}
 
 Drop-In
 Power Ring (1000). Spiral Ener-I mean green power ring, pls
 Sidekick (1300).
 Motherbox (1500).
 Science (1600)
 
 Sidekick: Adjective Girl! (Companion!)
 Energy Projection: Electricity (300)
 Master Detective (500)
 Peak Human Fitness (600)
 
 I don't quite know what to do in this jump, but at some point I'm going to have the following exchange with Bane:
 
 "If I pulled that off, would you die?"
 "It would be extremely painful"
 "You're a big guy"
 
 And right when he's about to say The Line, I assume kaiju form and silently dare him to finish
 
 ====================================
 
 [Prototype]
 
 Drawbacks: Wanted and Targeted (1600). So basically like the original game.
 
 Age 27, rolled Green Zone. Not that it's gonna be that way for long
 
 Infected (600). That description combined with my other recent transformations gives me hella confidence. Actually there's not really much I want from this world apart from
 Infected Companion+Prototype (1100). Murderhobo lyfe, yo. (Companion'd)
 Fearless and Lucky (1300) the obligatory buffs and
 Blackwatch Operative+Blackwatch Elite (1550) to further troll the military (Companion'd)
 Hazmat Suit (1600) mostly as a souvenir.
 
 It's rampage time.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Type-MOON]
 
 Drawbacks: Canaan's Call, Sealing Designation, Zelretch's Notice, Kaleidostick and Error in the Code (2200). For better or worse, it truly is the all-inclusive Type-Moon experience. I figure I'd piss off a lot of powerful, deadly people anyway so I might as well get CP from it.
 
 Age 20, Holy Church. Father Kotomine please stop following me everywhere.
 
 Magic Circuits (1200). ALL the magic circuits.
 Reinforcement (Free). Surprised people look down on this, it seems really versatile.
 Holy Sacrament (Free). Not sure how this works, it's a sort of True Magic right? Bet it feels really weird considering I have holy magic yet am technically an eldritch abomination oh god im going to attract so many dead apostles
 Innate Time Control (1600). Thanks to nanomachines SON, I could probably tank the aftereffects of prolonged use. Not that I'll know that at the start.
 Reality Marble: Black Star Manifold (2100). 24th Jump WOOT WOOT
 Holy Shroud and Azoth Sword (2200) not that I know what to do with the latter.
 
 What else is there to say? Dodging elite assassins and wizards without a sense of right and wrong, being bugged by a stick to turn into a magical girl, gettin chased by eldritch abominations-all the while working my way up the ranks of the Executioners. I feel like I'm going to suffer so much Kotomine will promote me really quickly just to be able to keep a closer eye on my suffering. If I ever do get my bearings, I'll have a go at requisitioning more Black Keys and getting access to the powerful conceptual weapons held by the Church.
 
 On the upside, if I somehow kill any of these people I'll get one helluva power boost in power from the familiar
 
 ====================================
 
 [Devil May Cry]
-Drawbacks: Legendary Dark Knight Mode, Might Control Everything, Even a Devil May Cry (2300). I think of this as "Pure Platinum Run Mode".
+
 Drawbacks: Legendary Dark Knight Mode, Might Controls Everything, Fill Your Dark Soul With LIIIIIIIIGHT, (2000)
-Demon (200). All natural, he he he.
+
 Shit's gonna get REAL in this jump.
-Cuh-Ray-Zee/Taunting/Weapon Swapping (Free). It's like I'm really in a videogame
+
-Strength (Free). I'm really frickin' strong at this point
+Rolled-DMC 1. Oh wow.
-Dexterity and Reflexes (300). And still fast enough to keep up with the youngsters
+
-Weapon Crafting (800). And smart enough to do so custom jobs on weapons
+Demon (1800). First thing I'ma do is open up a classy nightclub somewhere.
-Endurance (1000). And tough enough to tank a coffin on my head without flinching
+
-Regeneration (1150). Nope, not cut.
+Cuh-Ray-Zee! (Free).
-Longevity (Free). He he he!
+Taunting (Free)
 Weapon Swapping (Free)
-Royal Guard Style (Free). Great for facing off anything that think's it's toughter than me.
+Down With The Sickness (Free) I like /all/ these things, and will be putting them to good use.
-Quicksilver (Free). Can't say no to time shenanigans
+
-God Hand (1350). Because sometimes you gotta punch a dude
+Strength (Free). That skyscraper thing sounds like a neat trick
-Doppelganger (1550). 2 Godzilla-tier kaiju bearing down on you. Think about it.
+Dexterity and Reflexes (1700). Now /that's/ a rare enough buff
-Swordmaster (1750). MAXIMUM SWORDING!
+Devil Arm Crafter (1100). Gotta get dem souls
-Gunslinger (1950). ALL THE GUNS!
+Longevity (Free). Nice!
-Dark Slayer (2150). Dickass rogue: No sense of right or wrong
+Regeneration (950). Always a handy trick
 Devil Arm: Devil-Arm-Arm (Free). Well, that's alright, I gots plenty of left hand analogues to fill that void. Taking God Hand for free.
-Get Set! (Free)
+
-Enhanced Learning (2350)
+God Hand (Free). SO MUCH ORA ORA ORA
 Royal Guard (Free). The ultimate in counterattacking
-Devil Arm: There's never gonna be an Asura's Wrath jump, so this is as good an oppurtunity as any to get Wailing Dark.
+Swordmaster (Free). We master swordsman-well, already but even more so now
 Dark Slayer (750). Oh, the possibilities with Swordmaster up there...
 Quicksilver (550). A second's all I need
 Doppleganger (350). And now presenting: Even more ORA ORA ORA
 
 Weapon Crafting (50). Unlimited ammunition, you say...
 
 Spending the last 50 CP on a sick ride. One that will probably be totaled very soon.
 
 ====================================
 WHAT? PROTOMAN-JUMPER IS EVOLVING?
 
 CONGRATULATIONS! PROTOMAN-JUMPER EVOLVED INTO TENTACLE-HIVEMIND-JUMPER!
 ====================================
 
 [Ouran High School]
 
 -Drawback: Cabin Fever (1600). This world...bores me.
 
 Banana Peels (50). Nowhere is safe. They'll be there when you least expect it.
 Bishie Sparkles (150). Probably negligible on top of my innate JoJo splendor, but every bit counts.
 Unnerving Presence (250). I would like to remind everyone that I am a non-euclidean affront to the natural order somehow wearing a school uniform. This ought to be a natural reaction to standing near me
 Tellspotter (450). Well, that's surprisingly useful.
 Princely Bearing (650). Pity the janitor who has to follow me everywhere with a mop at the ready.
 Little Devil (850). "Oh eldritch-kun, you're such a scamp leaving sculptures of the Daedric Princes made of banana peels and roses everywhere!"
 Dramatic Declaration (1050). Oh great, more materials for my impromptu artshow.
 Ikebana (1250). I will be surrounded by flower petals for the rest of my existence, might as well make the best of it.
 Beelzenef Puppet (1300). The cat puppet sees all and forgives no one. Don't you fucking look me in the eyes Mikuru, you are only worthy of addressing me through this avatar.
 Manager's Platform (1500). THE GROUND IS NOT WORTHY OF BEING STOOD ON BY ME
 Instant Coffee (1600). ALL WHO SWEAR LOYALTY TO ME WILL DRINK FROM THE ELIXER OF LIFE.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Pirates of the Caribbean]
 
 Drawbacks: Part of the Ship, Part of the Crew, Cursed (1500).
 
 This marks the first time I've taken a luck based drawback. But as I've acquired kaiju form, Helena's Nail, Dark-Dark Fruit and something that counteracts my propensity towards drowning, I could probably wrestle the Kraken. And if the 3rd film is any indication, only one of us can survive on land.
 
 Navy Man (100). All the fun of being a smug prick with all the skill of being someone who can actually into naval combat.
 
 Rolled London. Jolly good.
 
 Sharpshooter (Free)
 Master of the Code (300). Forget Sparrow, if I can get the 411 on the Pirate King it'd be a real feather in my cap.
 Courage and Foritude (400). I love you, willpower perks. You make my Conquerer's Haki feel nice and hard. As for standing fast-if I can swat bullets, I can zandatsu cannonballs.
 Captain (700). We alpha as fuck now
 Nobody's Tool (1300). Just because I speak the trut, the whole truth and nothing but the truth does not forbear lies of omission or ulterior motives.
 
 Bottle of Rum (1400). For acquiring wenches and diplomacy. Can I even get drunk anymore?
 Warrant (1500). Hope this applies on other jumps. Somehow.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Naruto]
 
 Drawbacks: Blood Lust, Dysfunction Junction, Super Pervert (1600).
 
 Rolled Konohagakure. Huh, lucky me
 
 Orphan (1500)
 
 Mentor+Apprenticeship: Orochimaru (1100)
 Genius of Hard Work (800)
 Senju (500)
 Summoning Scroll: Mantis Shrimp (200)
 Therapy No Jutsu (0)
 
 Elemental Chakra Affinity: Air (Free)
 
 Going to focus on taijitsu and samurai swording. Other than that,
 
 "So anyway, my dickass teammates start giving Naruto shit about his village right? Anyway, things get nasty and they all start beating the shit out of each other. I stay quiet and hidden-all ninja-like-until they're all running on fumes. And then-BAM! I put on the shark suit and I start stompin' faces into the fuckin' ground!
 
 "Hahaha, what a story Anon. Am I to assume you've been expelled from your village?"
 
 "Nope! Actually-everybody loves me! Even that girl I cunt punted up a tree! And Naruto after I almost tore his arm off! Anyway, enough about me, how's things on your end Orochimaru?"
 
 "Eh, just the usual. Reviewing my jutsus, doing some Rinnegan research. Oh, and tricking Sasuke into making kissy faces at snakes"
 
 "Wait, what?"
 
 "I'm serious! I told him there's a secret Poison Jutsu only I know about, but he needs to align his chakra just right with their fangs. Using his lips. And tongue. Now he's staggering around with fat, flabby lips, greasy hair from all that time dodging snakes and-HA, all that snake venom made the big baby vent his bowels"
 
 "Oh Orochimaru, you so crazy!"
 
 ====================================
 
 [Geneforge]
 
 Drawbacks: Abomination, At the Beginning (1700). I'm fast enough to literally run over the ocean at this point. And that abomination looks to be a fine addition to my Dark Magic armada.
 
 Drop-In, Age 17
 
 Research Notes (1100). Could this be the key to uniting the genetic composition of zerg and protoss? LET'S FIND OUT
 Portable Geneforge Components (600). Just dump this off at the warehouse and get the bots to put it together. Soon, I shall be able to harness life itself
 Necromancy (300). Oddly enough, while I've been to jumps where necromancy was a thing (Dark Souls, Warcraft) I'm positive this is the first time I've seen it available for purchase as a skill. The applications for THIS particular brand of necromancy seem.../interesting/ when coupled with my future hex proficiency
 Hostile Effects Resistance (150). Very good value for CP, this thing
 Enhanced Essence ReservesX3. I might not be have the fine control of a true prodigy, but I've got enough raw power to throw around for repeat trials
 
 Plan is to work closely with manager-sempai, get real good at shaping life the old-fashioned way. With my intimate knowledge of necromancy, the possibilities are limitless: Beings transcending life and death, self-sustaining spells that move with a life of their own, a limitless array of miracles to be assimilated...
 
 ====================================
 
 [Action Movie]
 
 Going for the cheesiest, most unintentionally good action movie possible.
 
 Drawbacks: B-movie, One Riot One Ranger, Suburban Hellhole, Prop Weapons (1600). It's going to be pointlessly grimdark, with almost no transition between fights and gunfights devolving into cyborg lucha for no good reason.
 
 Drop In. He's a biomechanical eldritch horror. She's a mized martial artist whose fists transcend time. Together, they fight crime!
 
 Age: 27
 
 Bulging muscles (Free).
 One-Liner (Free).
 Don't look at Explosions (Free)
 Goddamn Sexual Tyrannosaurus (300).
 Explosive Environment (400). With how papery the walls are, I'd probably bring down a building while seducing the president's daughter or whatever
 If it bleeds... (1200).
 Ain't got no time to bleed (1400). Assuming this comes with gratuitous kool-aid blood
 Inventive (1600). Specialising in beating people with other people.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Soul Calibur]
 
 Drawbacks: Destined Battle, Pa-I can't read that but I get the gist of it (1600). Okay, so my companions are going to have to secure me with rope and gags or something unless I'm off on my own thing in which case my screaming is someone else's problem, no big deal. Kinky. I wonder who my enemy will be, hope it isn't Nox or anyone from the JoJo jumps.
 
 Rolled: Embrace of Destiny. Starting in Prague, I've always wanted to visit Prague.
 
 Age 24, Golem (300). I shall play along with my benefactor's little game for as long as it amuses me. When the joke wears thin, I shall calmly storm out the front door with the force of a dozen willpower perks channeled into Conquerer's Haki.
 
 Deliverance (400). Fuck you sword, I already got a best sword-buddy. He's a cool shark. You a cool shark? Didn't think so.
 No Remorse, No Pain (600). I like that slogan, gonna chant that while pic related
 Chainless Disaster (750). My creators done goofed.
 Morally Ambiguous Agent of Enlightened Self Interest Reborn (1150). Yer confusin' me with Aku, SoulCab Jump.
 Raise Thy Sword (1250). This style is the least boring. If nothing else, it seems to work will with Samehada
 Tempered Soul (1550). Boom, instant day job.
 Fine Clothes (1600). Because extra CP
 
 Objectives
 -Establish reputation as a master blacksmith combining a variety of weapon styles with technology and magic from another world
 -Teach wuxia apprentice at least 3 native styles
 -Give someone who's challenged me to combat at least 10 times a year an atomic wedgie. Bonus points if that person is Ivy
 -Beat the shit out of Soul Edge for being a faggot
 -Beat the shit out of Soul Calibur for also being a faggot
 
 Assitant perk: Mind over Matter
 
 ====================================
 [City of Gold]
 
 Drawbacks: The Burning Shield, Blood for the insert god here, Cortez' Folly (1600). Hunted by a cabal reliant on sunlight powers, hunted by another group that wants me dead at all costs and I don't give a fuck. It's like I really have become Kars.
 
 Atlantean, Age 20 (250)
 
 Rolled Cahuachi. Good luck finding me in those ruins, I guess.
 
 Ancient Knowledge (Free)
 Orichalcum (350)
 Leadership (750). My Haki must be absurd by now
 Solar Harnessing (950)
 Medallion of the Sun (1100)
 Ornithopter (1600)
 
 Objectives
 -Use the Medallion to locate an ancient Atlantean cache containing a Weapon of the Sun
 -Use my wits to locate an ancient Muan cache containing The Great Legacy
 -Feign defeat at Menator's hands right before dawn, so that I can recover at full power with my clothes blasted to scraps bishie sparkles everywhere with the rising sun at my back and my hair blowing in the wind while my companions play dubstep in the background
 -Gather a cult based around worship of my solar prowess in which I will instill the tenets of advancing humanity's technological progress and greater social progress
 -Win the Atlantean/Muan Technology Scavenger Hunt I've challenged my companions to
 
 ====================================
 
 [Kill La Kill]
 
 Drawbacks: Target (1800). Jokes on her, I barely need to sleep! And I have a forcefield barring my warehouse HA HA HA. In all seriousness, I'm happy to have an actual challenge.
 
 Rolled Academic Club. Note to self: Start furious debate about the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow to throw off pursuers as I escape.
 
 Drop-In
 
 Chef (Free). Nice!
 Resolve (400). Aw shit, the KLK willpower special! This is like the porterhouse of willpower buffs, compared to Jojo's fillet mignon and DC's T bone.
 
 ...the thought occurs that thanks to Haki I effectively have Ki Technique. In fact, while I wouldn't be sure of my Conquerer's Haki being stronger than Satsuki, I /am/ confidant of holding my ground in a prolonged staring contest with her.
 More Ammo (500).
 
 Kamui (1800). Pic related, it's a bitchin' scarf. I'm thinking a bitchin' scarf wrapped around my neck-analogue. I'm not sure if Helena's Nail and Hormunculus have left much blood in my body, but it's more than welcome to whatever's left. I can easily tank constant blood loss.
 
 I assume Ragyo's going to straight up declare a war of attrition on me. This will mostly manifest as me having to fight off the 4 Devas and possibly Satsuki herself, while surviving hit-and-run attacks by Nui. Ironically, this might help me bro it up with Ryuko. I'm also predicting she'll fastforward the schedule for REVOCS' clothing apocalypse-which may actually make Satsuki decide to come clean with Ryuko and Nudist Beach sooner to form a united front. At that point, my life is going to mirror Caim from Drakengard: Constantly fighting off alien entities aided by a quirky party and another entity I subdued and bonded with.
 
 As such, my objectives and are much more simple:
 
 >Engage the 4 Devas with as much baseline human martial prowess and tactics as possible without, so as to impress Satsuki as a potential ally
 >Prepare dramatic speech (complete with bishie sparkles, Jojo fabumanliness and LLTQ Royal Aura) about unity against Life Fibers
 >Engage Nui defensively until opportunities arise for using Quicksilver Style to zandatsu her. Constantly accelerate and decelerate speed of Time Alter Accel to keep up with her own confusing speed. Exploit cartoon physics from Sonic Jump and Dark-Dark Fruit
 >Commence Alpha testing of all munitions against Life Fibers. Investigate use of WMDs on Original Life Fiber. Spin may now be unleashed
 >Reserve Reality Marble, Deja Fu, Kaiju Form, Dark Magic, all Naruto boons, Stand and full extent of Dark-Dark Fruit powers for Ragyo. Maintain constant pressure; target may or may not gattai with Original Life Fiber. Begin combat protocal heavenorhellletsrock.exe
 
 Primary melee: Samehada
 Secondary Melee: "Wailing Dark"
 
 ====================================
 
 [Star Trek]
 
 Drawbacks: From Hell's Heart, Exploding Consoles, Living Stereotype, Anomaly Magnet (1600).
 
 Wait. Did I just derail this poor world into Doctor Who Jump?
 
 Stowaway, rolled "Human", Command, Tactics (100)
 
 Highly Logical (400). For a manic-depressive human, anyway.
 Born Leader (550)
 Tribble (600). I'm okay with it being infertile until I get to dat RE jump
 Scientific Mind (700)
 Logistician (Free).
 Original Thinker (1000)
 Too Boldly Come (1600). At last, my guilt from those steamy nights in Pokemon Dungeon Jump is at an end.
 Rank Insignia (Free)
 
 With an odd balance between mania, intellect and creative solutions, I think I'd strike an odd middle ground between Kirk and Spock. With all the bickering they have going on, they'd think of me as the weird but competent one. I'm basically the Luna Lovegood of Star Trek, except a dude.
 
 Objectives
 >Charm/Reason/Bullshit Starfleet until they agree to give me a replicator. Then get Nook to work his magic on it.
 >Pimp my spacecraft
 >Seduce a dozen beings/superweapons/phenomenon occurring as result of Anomaly Magnet
 >Acquire schematics for all significant technological advances in this jump
 >Devise a logic puzzle too difficult for Spock to solve
 >Beat Kirk in a drinking contest
 >Resist to be smug about either achievement
 
 ====================================
 
 [Dark Sun]
 
 Alright, this isn't so bad. So it's not a very nice place and has nothing I really want, that just means I don't have to take drawbacks for the purposes of acquiring drama and worthy opponents.
 
 Rolled-wait what? AW YEAH, WE ATTACK ON TITAN NOW. RELEASE THE KRAKEN. RELEASE THE CAT 10.
 
 Age 26, and-Outcast. I doubt I'll make any friends here, might as well carve my own legend.
 
 Half-Giant (100)...half kaiju. Yeah.
 
 I'm not even mad about the ability nerfing thing. How the heck do the physics of this world expect to nerf kaiju form? Or Helena's Nail? Or Prototype biology? Or Emiya time shenanigans? Or Sonic physics Or the sheer chutzpah of DMC? Or Dark-Dark Fruit hax? Or Naruto techniques? Does Haki count as psionics?
 
->Really go to town on these giants. Punt 'em in kaiju form, start yelling action movie taunts and DMC lines while backflipping over them to tear out their spines, manifest my Stand's motorcycle and drive explosions all over their stupid faces. I want these giants to know that they /fucked with the wrong sheriff/. And then be friends. I may not have purchased Therapy no Jutsu, but I been on the giving and receiving end of it in my time with Naruto
+
 
 Friendship is Magic (400). And in the grim darkness of wherever this is...it really is. Just a lonely traveller on the road, looking for someone to share his journey with.
 Connections (700). Sharing is caring! Out of work? Looking for something to pay the bills with? I can hook you up!
 Badge of Office (1000). I AM THE LAW!
 
 Objectives:
 >Really go to town on these giants. Punt 'em in kaiju form, start yelling action movie taunts and DMC lines while backflipping over them to tear out their spines, manifest my Stand's motorcycle and drive explosions all over their stupid faces. I want these giants to know that they /fucked with the wrong sheriff/. And then be friends.
 >Help people get ahead in life. Seems like folks here have been hit by hard times. I can set things up real good, no matter which caste of society you're from. Gonna offer oppurtunities for criminals to get honest work, gonna help nobles understand their gladiators and slaves are people too. Acquire favors-and have the paid off by doing other people favors.
 >Maintain a positive attitude. Acquire hat and tip it at the local sorcerer-king every day on the way to work
 >Start introducing tech that could save lives. Even if it gets rusted from Dark Sun jump's nature, I can still introduce people to the concept of proper hygiene and surgery.
 >Convince the sorcerer-king that it is in his best interest as a ruler to start funding public works and welfare programmes. Suggest that it is better to be loved than to be ironically usurped by some upstart adventurer with a grudge and backing from his rivals. Use my profound and inexplicable popularity with the masses to convince him my words are worth paying attention to.
 >Give everyone who offers me violence one chance. One chance to calm down and come to a peaceful resolution.
 >If they do not [notaspoiler]they are already dead[/notaspoiler]
 
 ====================================
 
 [Iji]
 
 Drawbacks: Sakeras Song, Pride, Hallucinations (1700).
 
 ...fuck.
 
 (Wrath intensifies)
 
 ...as tempting as it is to grind xeno bones to make my bread, I'm going with Technician. I can punch things alright, but frankly these monsters deserve worse than death. Far, far worse.
 
 Technical Expertise (Free). Though I have no companions, I retain a massive army of non-sapient, technomagical midgets hardened to battle. Initiating overclocking protocals. Deploying Tyrant Sun. Releasing the Cat 10.
 Scrambler (100). From the sound of it, humanity died without time to make a bang or a whimper. Perhaps it was almost painless for most. It certainly won't be for these monsters.
 Nanomaster (500). SEND ME THE BEST YOU'VE GOT! SEND ME YOUR STRONGEST MACHINE!
 Retribution (900). There is no victory in battle with me, only extents of loss
 Bring 'em On (1100). There is no war, only slaughter
 Benevolent Architecture (1300). The very earth empowers my crusade
 
 Aggressive Nanites (1500)
 Freak Ray (Free)
 Scanner (1700)
 
 Side missions
 -Reverse engineer technology of the Enemy to bolster my armada of self-replicating machines
 -Construct command center to coordinate global warfare
 -Develop nanomachine strain capable of subverting Enemy hardware and software
 -Seek out records to determine precise nature of humanity's demise. Hacking Enemy databases is always an option
 
 Objective
 -Avange Humanity
 
 PARAGON INTERRUPT: Saved the lesbian couple and promised to enable them to repopulate
 PARAGADE INTERRUPT: Spared General Tor and Yukabacera...to let other species know what happened when two species fucked with humanity
 
 ====================================
 
 [Resident Evil]
 
 Drawbacks: Wesker, Keeping Secrets (1500). I was planning to take a less... active role on the frontlines after the Iji affair anyway.
 
 Rolled: Free pick. Hope WilPharma's offering job positions.
 
 Researcher, Age 23 (100).
 
 Knowledge Base (Free)
 Virologist (400). We bioengineer now.
 Antibodies (1000). Hopefully I can extract my own-whatever I have instead of blood for SCIENCE.
 Satellite Phone (1050)
 Dosh KingX7 (1400)
 Vaccine (1500). Thanks to Nook's sorcery, my Star Trek replicator can handle physical components from other jumps.
 
 I don't have time for this zombie apocalypse nonsense so I'll be counting on my companions to keep my research from being disturbed. Meanwhile, I'll be working my day job to get paid and access the net for classified information.
 
 Projects
 -Genesis: All-purposes fertility inducing phage-which is itself ironically incapable of reproduction. Applications include agriculture, animal husbandry and acceleration of other genetic experiments
 -Pwder Ser: Biological warfare project. Based on induction of vampiric/demonic essence into a rapidly transmitted strain of the common cold. Incorporates elements from ebola, ensuring infected individuals rot at an accelerated rate. Side effects include massive increase in muscle mass and translucent skin
 -Talos: Strain of virus capable of releasing an infusion of nanomachines in infected individuals; infertile strain. Updates to this strain may enable the infected to receive other boons I've managed to reverse-engineer. Nanites are hardwired to restrain the host should they attempt to attack me.
 -Cradlemind [REDACTED]
 -[REDACTED] Memo: Only affects individuals shorter than [DATA EXPUNGED]
 -Nur[REDACTED]
 -[REDACTED], preventing the casting of magic
 -[REDACTED]
 -The Omniphage: Cultivated gut bacteria limited to myself and companions ensuring immunity from the effects of all above listed contagions
 
 ====================================
 
 [Bioshock]
 
 Drawbacks: Adaptation and Cancer (1500)
 
 Rolled Fontaine Futuristics. Not taking sides in this conflict.
 
 Specialist, Age 28.
 
 Specialist Training (Free). ADAM refinement. Possibly a colleague or rival of Dr Suchong.
 Intuition (250)
 Savant Genius (550). Okay, definately a rival.
 Willpower (1150). Quite a pricey perk, so I'm assuming it's a considerable boost to my Haki.
 Recommendations from Fontaine Futuristics AND Ryan Industries (1400). Apparently I'm just that good.
 EVE Hypos (1500).
 
 Objectives:
 -Acting on aquaphobia, begin jerryrigging a bathysphere to adapt it for emergency escape
 -Acquire a breeding population of ADAM slugs.
 -Generally stay out of the limelight while smuggling various plasmids to warehouse storage
 -Beat Andrew Ryan...at golf
 
 Optional side mission
 -Use magic to synthesize alternate means of ADAM generation without having to inject myself with little girl barf
 
 ====================================
 
 [Music Jump]
 
 Drawbacks: Battle of the Bands, Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n Roll (2400). Seems appropriate for an Elder God in training deciding to take up-
 
 -Rock (100).
 
 Rebel Yell (Free).
 The Art (1100). It can only enhance my infamous mystique. I have a Stand called Judas Priest; the antichrist motifs are practically writing themselves.
 Sweet, Sweet Love (1700). Fanwanking a secondary utility for this based on The Art: My music inspires an explosion of sensations in listeners, every emotion turned up to 11 and then brought to climax until the listeners are left with a perversely fulfilled sense of serenity.
 Maestro (2300). Though it hurts me not to take B-Flat, I want my battle with Johnny Cash to be between musician and musician.
 
 The Instrument (2400).
 
 Objectives
 -Channel the rapturous fervor of my audience into constructive works. When the catharsis fades, they'll remember lyrics about always defying adversity and doing the impossible
 -Walk the Earth as a man, and nothing more. Perhaps my own music can remind me what it once felt like to be human
 -When I'm performing, be excellent to my fellow man. My reputation may be heinous, but aside from occasional coke-binges I've only one conquest on my mind here.
 -Channel all my fury, joy and ambition in a blistering rock ballad to counter The Man in Black's soulful singing voice. He's going to be the yin to my yang-and I'm more than ready to /rock this planet/
 -Begin work on The Song. This will be a testament to all my fears and hopes on my journey through the jumpchain. This will be a work of such mastery that it will bring tears to Jump-Chan's eyes. This song will only be done when I have experienced everything the jumpchain has to offer. This is the song of apocalyptic passion, that ends the world.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Black Bullet]
 
 Drop-In
 
 Mantis (400)
 Shenfield (100)
 Let's Get Tactical (0)
 
 Objective: Save everyone
 
 ====================================
 
 [Monster Hunter]
 
 Drawbacks: Dragon's Ire (1300). Oh, that's cute. I've survived single combat with the Dark Arisen /before/ getting stronger. You're going to be the Hokuto no Ken mohawk-wearing goon of dragon bossfights.
 
 Rolled Yukumo village. Not bad at all.
 
 Wyvernian, Drop-In (1300).
 
 Kinetic Cestus (1050). STANDING HERE, I REALISE that I could insert some kaiju samples into this thing.
 
 >Igneous Greatsword: 1000CP
 
 Yeesh, does that thing split planets in half or something?
 
 Helper Feyline (Free). I. What is this I don't even.
 Anti-Theft/Pro Transporter (Free). Nice!
 Balance Bangle (Free). Now that's...interesting.
 Gathering Master (950)
 Critical Eye (900)
 Speed Eating (850)
 Gloves off (700)
 Wrath Awoken (100)
 100,000 z (0)
 
 We've been spending all our lives, living in a murderhobo's paradise.
 
 Objectives
 -Augment the cesti with uru ore, orichalcum, vibranium, components from MGR that let the gauntlets integrate with cybernetics, adamantium, alchemic treatments, Reinforcement, a demon or two saved from DMC, Elder Scrolls enchantments etc. Once further improvement is impossible, call in Nook.
 -Continously work as an elite hunter, taking that game considered too dangerous by most, to fund the previous objective. If possible, locate Guild members interested in live specimans.
 -Tame and ride a deviljho
 -Beat Prototype Mary in an eating contest
 
 ====================================
 
 [MOTHER]
 
 Drawbacks: I SEE YOU, Pursued (1500).
 
 Alien (1400). We beyond comprehension now.
 
 The Camera Man (1300). I'm assuming "memorable" doesn't cover anything lewd, like the raunchy orgies I have with most of my companions when there's nothing better to do
 PSI (Free). No idea what this does, but given what I know of the source material it's probably Warp-tier when fully developed
 Robot Protector (1150). Aw yeah, new companion! And uh, she seppukus real easy?
 Evil Power (850). I feel happy
 Calm Spirit (250). I feel very happy
 Saturn Table (200). ONWARD MY STEAD!
 Gearhead (100). For building things
 Improbable AllowanceX2 (0).
 
 
 I can only assume that my memories enabled me to break away from the main Starman host, becoming an unlikely ally to humanity.
 
 Objectives
 -Organize resistance to the Starman host; at this point anything more than "four children" would be a good start
 -Attempt to subvert my former comrades. Become the Lucifer to Giygas' YHVH, rallying Starmen away from that deranged child
 -The Song is not yet ready-but if a mere lullaby could subvert Giygas, than my Song-augmented by my Stand-will be the key to his defeat
 
 Mmm, Giygas tastes so good. So very, very good. And yet so bad. So very, very bad...
 
 ====================================
 
 [Transformers]
 
 Drawbacks: Starscream Syndrome, Annoying Human Children, Missing Voice Module (1500). Oh Elodietron, you scamp. After this jump, I'm going to make fun of her hammy, overly incompetant schemes for weeks for weeks.
 
 Rolled: Bayformers.
 
 Fuck.
 
 Just my luck to roll the one continuity where humans are actually relevant in battle.
 
 Scout. I don't consider this to be that blatent of a drop-in analogue, because pic related.
 
 Large Chassis (1100). Alt form: Predator Drone
 
 Upgrade! (500). I'm fanwanking my upgrade as an unforseen side effect of assimilating Giygas. Think Bayformers Galvatron's nanomachine-like immunity to everything, various eldritch effects and the ability to generate specific adaptations/upgrades based on analysed challenges and opponents.
 Sneak Attack (400). Super sneaky.
 Quiet as a Rattrap (Free)
 Deployers (0)
 
 Deployers:
 Scattershot: Ion Blaster and Magma Frag Launcher. Looks like a 4 winged metallic bat-manta with sharpened wings
 
 Macguvertron: Master Builder. Think of a chainsmoking horseshoe crab who's too old for this shit, but constructs things with blinding speed.
 
 Terminatrix: Neutron Assault Rifle, Photon Burst Rifle. Metallic doppleganger resembling Kate Nuata, if Kate Nuata was built like a professional athlete.
 
 Knuckles: Triplechanger, Null Ray. Humanoid robot echidna that can turn into a rapidly moving orb or a scooter for disguise.
 
 We're Decepticons, if that hasn't been made clear yet.
 
 Objectives
 -Amass blueprints of Transformer tech, along with stockpiles of cybermatter for further experimentation
 -Exploit Iji nanomachine manipulation and Atlantean solar technology to create sustainable energon, so our race doesn't drive itself to extinction while that idiot Prime keeps moralfagging it up with the human government
 
 ====================================
 
 [Danny Phantom]
 
 Drawbacks: Emptiness, the Nemesis (1600). The real cost of this is increased interference from Elodie towards my blatant supervillaining. I can see it now: Me and her bickering in a park while my Nemesis tries to catch my attention.
 
 Half Ghost, Age 20 (1400). Like Skeleton Man, I am now half man, half ghost. Which might be more urgent if I wasn't rapidly evolving into an elder god.
 
 Ecto-Skeleton (1100). First take into consideration things like >>35586905, then think about a 100-fold increase to power. Now remember that I'm beyond human limitations in personal power. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.
 
 Ghostly Wail (800). If I ever meet Danny, he's gonna be pissed I learned his super move before he did
 Ghost sense (Free)
 Invisibility (700). 2spooky4lewds
 Cryokinesis (100). ICE to see your teeth chattering, kids!
 Precognition (0)
 
 So I'm kind of resigned to becoming the edgy, overly serious villain of the show. Presumably Danny & co initially panic on facing me and my horde of outside context minions. I imagine Elodie will alternately try to steer me into fighting the Nemesis and other spooky big bad evil ghosts, while covertly slipping information to the Fenton household. Ironically, "there's a god of chaos invading Earth" is a simple yet fairly accurate explanation here.
 
 Objectives
 -HELLFIRE! DARK FIRE! NOW GYPSEY IT'S YOUR TURN! CHOOSE ME OR-YOUR PYRE! BE MINE OR YOU WILL BUUUUUUUURN!
 -Set my deployers, secretary and motherbox to covertly research and reverse engineer ecto-tech while I and most of the other companions are off rampaging
 -Inspire an urban legend about a completely fictitious ghost by leaving spooky phenomena around town
 -Be captured by the Fentons and have a polite yet menacing conversation with them while they try to interrogate me. Unfortunately for them, getting caught WAS part of my master plan!
 
 ====================================
 
 [Xiaolin Showdown]
 
 Drawbacks: Getting Chase'd (1600). On the one hand, one of the few things I remember about this show is that this guy can't actually use the Shen Gong Wu. On the other hand, I also remember that he's one of the more competant villains.
 
 Rolled: Free choice. Dubai! He'll never look for me there! inb4 Chase Young just happens to be visiting to collect his oil dinosaur or whatever
 
 Heylin Apprentice (100): AT LAST, AFTER 1500 YEARS I AM FREE to go on a glorified scavenger hunt.
 
 Suave (Free)
 Heylin Magic (400). I...don't actually remember what it does, but if it's good enough for Wuya it's good enough for me
 Xialin Magic (700). I'm not even going to ask. But apparently I can now do a decent Sidereal impersonation.
 Elementalism: All the elements (1300)
 Secrecy (1400). For hiding the SGWs
 Robots (1600). "Only as competent as you are"
 
 Okay this is the part where I can't pretend any longer that Chase is in any way capable of surviving an encounter with me.
 
 Objectives
 -Shen Gong Wu: Gotta Catch 'em all! Stop rolling your eyes at me, Blaziken
 -Somewhere out there are the protagonists, who are presumably doing stuff. Arrange for my wuxia apprentice to go train with them/keep an eye on their movements
 -Resist the urge to declare myself the Avatar
 -Seduce Wuya
 
 Pic sort of related, this is how I remember that Jack Spicer guy, except with robots.
 
 ====================================
 
 [JUMP-CHAN WAS HERE]
 
 [Avatar]
 
 Drawbacks: The Hunt, Wanted (Water Tribes), Bounty (1600). Considering I've literally /gained a large portion of the Avatar's powers/ from one jump alone, I'd say this is a fair and proportionate amount of enemies.
 
 Rolled: Free Choice. Fire Nation Capital it is, then.
 
 Drop-In
 
 Firebending+Lightning bending+Blue flames (600). Not known for its utility my ass, give me 5 years and I'll get this industrial revolution started
 
 Badgermole Mount (900). I must be the envy of Earthbenders everywhere.
 Flying Bison Mount (1150). Buying a babby bison calf. As a sort of apology present for my rampant supervillainy to Elodie.
 Money (1200).
 4 Bending Scrolls FROM THE GREAT LIBRARY (1600)
 
 Well then.
 
 -Have Wuxia apprentice Asami open a revolutionary industrial plant, through which I will gradually introduce sustainable electricity, firearms and Muan sun tech
 -Really, REALLY resist the urge to declare myself the Avatar in public. That Ozai fellow seems a lot smarter in the comics than the show, an arrangement might be possible...
 -Start medidating to go on journey to the Spirit Realm. Then go around spooking all the spirits with my abomination of a spirit
 -Make an example of that water tribe
 
 ====================================
 
 [KND]
 
 KND!
 
 Drawbacks: Unwanted Attention, Killer Clothes (1300). Getting real tired of your shit, Fagketsu. For now, you gonna get ironed like the naughty kamui you are.
 
 Rolled: NE US.
 
 Age 9, Independant. I'd be like a weird mix of Huey Freeman and Calvin.
 
 Rich (Free). Execpt I'm richer than both, apparently
 Conversion Resistance (600) And immune to cartoon shenanigans.
 2x4 Tech Genius (800). Quick, my companions! To the time machine! No it's not a transmogrifier anymore, we've been over this!
 Piloting (950).
 Mysterious (1050)
 
 Hologram Drones (1100)
 Machine Key (1200)
 L.U.N.C.H.B.O.C.K.S (1300)
 
 This is silly. Everything in this jump is silly. I'm almost tempted to treat it as a vacation jump.
 
 Objectives
 -Gain a reputation as a neutral mercenary/information broker, open to contracts from anyone from either side of the age gap for the right price. Make an example of anyone who doesn't deal fairly with me. Acquire a mask for extra mystique points.
 -Start work on actually building a goddamn transmogrifier
 -Maintain double life as aloof guy reading books all the time
 -/ss/ orgy
 
 ====================================
 
 [Cartoon Network]
 
 Cartoon Network!
 
 Drawbacks: Decomission Ready, Super Villain, Weirdo Magnet (1700). Hey, it's gonna make for some sick crossover episodes. Also thanks to Wakfu portals and dark magic, it's going to be all too easy to perform the whole teleport-behind-you-back-the-fuck-off meme. With a surprise steamroller. And weirdos just means more willing test subjects.
 
 Rolled: Endsville. I actually fit in pretty well.
 
 Demon, Age 13.
 
 As..../tempting/ as picking Aku's apprentice is, I think I'd rather approach him as an equal, all things considered.
 
 Nergal's Love (Free). EVEN MORE TENTACLES!
 Child's Logic (800). And just like that, causality starts to lose its grip on me.
 Left Hand of Horror (1300). Having punched Giygas in the face a lot with my almighty cesti, if anything I feel I'm overqualified to use this
 Scythe 2.0+Weapon Mastery: Scythes (1700).
 
 Objectives
 -Build a reputation for extreme competency as a supervillain by exploiting my opponents' habits and limitations to defeat them without going full final form. Start an informal villain consultancy when I can give training seminars based on my jumping experience in exchange for outstanding favors or-more rarely-something I /really/ want.
 -Send Nergal a happy father's day card. With a cheesy To The Best Dad In The World mug. Signed: Your adoptive son.
 -Hang out with/console Grim. Compare scythes.
 -After being well established in the supervillain community, approach Aku cautiously to talk shop
 
 ====================================
 
 [Legend of Spyro]
 
 Shape customization:
 Doubled growth rate
 Heavy set
 Tough Hide
 Unnatural size (Wonder if this balances out doubled growth rate? Ah well, I'll be kaiju hueg one way or another)
 Light Sleeper
 Agile Wings
 
 Drawbacks: DRUNK ON POWER (1200)
 
 Starting location: Rolled an 8. Warfang, I choose you!
 
 Origin: Dragon (1150)
 
 Background: WAR VETERAN (1100)
 
 Skills
 Martial training (1000)
 Elemental Training (Free)
 Flight Training (950)
 
 Abilities
 ElementalismX3 (650) (FIRE, SHADOW AND CONVEXITY)
 Dexterity (550) (BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE I LEVELED THAT UP)
 Unbreakable Will (Free)
 Silver Tongue (450)
 Perception (350)
 Quick Reflexes (250)
 
 Gear
 Golem (50)
 Medical Kit (0)
 
 FRIENDSHIP: Dragon (Companion'd)
 
 Doubled growth rate
 Unnatural size (Big)
 Agile Wings
 True Elemental Affinity
 Tough Hide
 Magical Sustenance
 
 Fear
 Poison
 
 In such circumstances, the only way in which I could feasibly make friends is if there was some other hapless loser of a dragon, looked down on for being allied with elements best associated with Dragon Hitler. This lonesome outcast might seek out shelter from the jeering mobs from some other dragon rumored to be in league with the darkness.
 
 For what ever reason, I apparently found this other dragon marginally more tolerable than the rest of those losers.
 
 So at the time, I was thinking I'd play a kaiju dragon. I was wrong. At this point, my accumulated power is such that I could probably crack a planet with enough built up momentum.
 
 The only thing in the setting that seems to pose a threat is someone who is basically the local Sauron-analogue. Unlike Aku, he is neither entertaining and takes his job very seriously.
 
 I don't think I really have an objective here. I'm just gonna do like how Bigby Wolf do: Fuck around on the edges of the conflict, behaving rather like a certain Dark Souls dragon and being generally antisocial. Occasionally, I'll try to hold back when fighting someone who can make said fight interesting.
 
 At some point, Plot will happen. Malefor's armies will get snippy with me. I will vent my frustration on them with dragonfire. Then his lieutenants will come up to get wrecked. Finally, Malefor himself will meet me in person, and presumably try to recruit me to the forces of saturday morning cartoon villainy.
 
 This is my cue to latch my jaws on his neck.
 
 ====================================
 
 WHAT? TENTACLE-HIVEMIND-JUMPER IS EVOLVING!
 
 CONGRATULATIONS! TENTACLE-HIVEMIND-JUMPER EVOLVED INTO ELDRITCH ABOMINATION JUMPER!
 
 ====================================
 
 [Doctor Who]
 
 Drawbacks: Wanders Off, Too Trusting (1300). "No Doctor, you don't understand! I have to take all the things back to my magical warehouse!"
 
 Rolled: Tenth.
 
 Oh boy.
 
 Alright everybody, /no sudden movements/
 
 Running shoes (Free)
 Companion's Luck (400)
 Mental Fortitude (800)
 Inspirational (1000)
 No More (1200)
 Liar (1300)
 
 I've got a lot to talk to the Doctor about, really. All this new tech I've recovered. My less morally ambiguous adventures in general. An emotional account of Iji, followed by him retelling the Time War. Shit companions say. Spaces that are bigger on the inside. Jump-Chan. That pepperpot that seems to be yelling at us.
 
 It's gonna be a fun vacation.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Adventure Time]
 
 Drawbacks: Rather Be Dancing With Some Babes, Fear Fester. My fear is the psychic remnant of Giygas. Every time I sleep I see that undying bastard reaching out to me, trying to escape the eternal torment of being trapped within my soul. Or worse, I experience that spiritual oubliette from his perspective (1400).
 
 Rolled: Breakfast Kingdom. At least I'm gonna get fed well.
 
 Scientist (1200). A sufficiently advanced scientist.
 
 Bravery (1100). A modest willpower buff, but every bit counts
 Beautiful Hair (1000). Hidden somewhere among all my tentacles
 Brilliant Inventor (700). Gotta get back to working on my inter-jump tech
 Auto-Tune (Free). Memo: Further tweak this to replicates Soundwave's voice
 Rocket Scientist (600). Combine with 2X4 tech and child logic, and my work is going to give P-Bubs a conniption
 
 Battle-Moon (450). That's just adorable.
 Universal Translator (400)
 Enchiridion (200). Someone's gotta keep this safe
 Cyclops Tears (0).
 
 ====================================
 
 [Red Alert]
 
 Drawbacks: Yuriko-Chan, Yuri's Revenge (1800).
 
 Holy shit, what if Yuri is Yuriko-Chan in drag? Or a psychic illusion to gather a cabal to take revenge on me?
 
 In Soviet Russia, dice rolls you. And I roll a 5, so I'm probably overdressed for the weather.
 
 Commander, Age 24 (250). I think I'm a bit young to be commanding, but sure. At least my assistant has someone to talk shop with now.
 
 Power is Sexy (550). ...ladies and gentlemen
 Supreme Commander (700). Presumably because I'm that one commander who /doesn't/ order the infantry to rush everything en-masse
 Logistics Assistant (Free). I'd let her assist my logistics, alright
 Copious Contraceptives (800). Thus far, I've been getting by with a little something synthesized from Prototype Mary's spit. But with an entire army to look after, we need more protection.
 Mass Production Upgrade and Robotic Assembly Upgrade (1100). If my drones weren't already god-tier, they are now
 Natasha Volkova and #1 Threat to America (1450). I imagine we all meet in an inn, with a killer hangover and dim memories of singing propaganda songs out of key
 Iron Curtain (1750). My appetite for delicious murrifat tears grows.
 Soviet Propaganda Poster (1800). A nice memento of my Communist roots
 
 Objectives:
 -Achieve diplomatic relations with China for the benefit of global communism in return for assistance against Japanese imperialism
 -Assign my secretary and logistics assistant the task of scanning all interesting technology with the Iji scanner
 -Hijack American television and play the Soviet anthem
 -Assume Kaiju form and deploy Haki to deal with YURIko's offense. Frame the incident as a US experiment gone wrong in order to further discredit the Land of the Free.
 -When faced with US demands for me to provide proof, declare I have already distributed definitive evidence 30 minutes ago
 
 ====================================
 
 [WW2]
 
 Drawbacks: Nazi Super-Science, Target of the Fuhrer (1600). I don't even consider these drawbacks. I wanna go on a pulp adventure, and Conan Jump doesn't exist.
 
 In a complete 180 from the previous jump, I am now a 23 year old red-blooded American.
 
 Commando (1600) sound hella fun.
 
 Marksmenship (Free).
 Sniper Support (1400). Just in case the krauts get any funny ideas
 Runs on Electricity (1100). Man up and take your goddamn supervirus, soldier. It's good for you. And yes, you /will/ treat the women in this squad with as much respect as you would any soldier unless you want to pick your teeth out of the mud. Last man to follow orders gets to serve under the commie instead of the vampire
 Concealment Training (Free)
 Demolitions Training (Free)
 Die Hard (1000). "We ain't no beltway pansies, Sarge"
 Runners (900). "Coulda gone pro if we hadn't joined the Army"
 Assault Training (700). "Any man of us could break the Fuhrer in half...with our BARE HANDS!"
 Double Combat Load (500). Music to my ears, son!
 Academy Trained (300). I love it when a plan comes together!
 Anti-Tank Section (0)
 
 Objectives
 -Augment and reequip my men to my satisfaction i.e. the point where I'm reasonably confident that the squad could take down a Metal Gear RAY
 -Stop the Ogdru Jahad's summoning by punting Rasputin through the portal
 -Retrieve nuclear weapon blueprints for Uncle Sam
 -Punch Hitler in the face
 
 ====================================
 
 [A Song of Ice and Fire]
 
 Drawbacks: Cruel and Paranoid (1400). Which, to be fair, has a 50/50 chance of incredible success or karmic death
 
 Rolled The Iron Islands. Welp, time to leave, right after I punch Theon Greyjoy and some other people in the face.
 
 Drop In
 
 Dragon Egg (600). I shall call you Balerion Junior. Whatever gender you really are.
 
 Shadowbinder (300)
 Schemer (100)
 Prince in Exile (0)
 
 To feel less like someone's Targaryn self-insert, I'm going to take it "easy" in this jump, touring Westoros and politely swatting anyone stupid enough to fight me. The Iron Throne's more trouble than it's worth; my most ambitious scheme will be to act as a mysterious benefactor to Tyrion Lannister, providing him with advanced superweapons.
 
 Meanwhile, I imagine Elodie will be leading a squad of my more heroic companions up North to deal with this Others problem once and for all, equipped with Atlantean sun-tech and future armaments. I'll let her name-drop me for the purposes of getting support from the nobility-who will probably have their minds blown by a female champion of R'hilor
 
 ...I wonder what R'hilor and The Great Other thinks about my existence. TGO's going to hate me, at least. And fear me, if Elodie can't finish the job and I have to go up their to slay a god by myself.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Transmetropolitan]
 
 Politician. Because why settle for the lesser evil?
 
 Rural home. Probably a posh one
 
 Buybomb Immunity (900). I have beheld Giygas, punched him in the face and assimilated him. And before that, my brain was a nest of plant tendrils. You cannot advertise to my true form.
 Contacts (800). Or rather, /more/ contacts
 Legalese (400). Truly, my evil knows no bounds
 Bowel Disruptor (300)
 Chair Leg of Truth (Free). That's gonna be one hell of an HF weapon.
 Trust the Fuckhead (50).
 Seed Money (0)
 
 Companion: "Filthy" Assistant. I now have a trinity of women managing all the boring jobs I don't want to do. One's professional, one's enthusiastic and this one's in for the shock of her life.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Shadowrun]
 
 Drawbacks: Astral Buglight, Nothing Personal (1500). At this point I'd bring up how I could probably take on something that could fight an entire city, but everyone here is a fucking asshole anyway and I have no sympathy for any of them.
 
 Denver, Age 26. Nostalgia much?
 
 "Human". No reason to be anything else.
 
 Newbie. I'm tough enough to weather the acclimitization process, and disillusioned enough to not play these stupid intrigue games.
 
 House (1200). Boom, got a place to live
 SIN (1100). Shazam, legit
 On the Edge (600). Voila, luck buff
 
 And just to complete the utter derail from the authentic Shadowrun experience,
 
 6 Aces. One Razor/mercenary, one hacker/cover ops, one physical adept/combat mage, one blogger/fence one Face/Johnson, one street shaman/street doc.
 
 I can only imagine they mostly allied with me because I was willing to rent rooms for reasonable prices. Yes, they are all cute girls i.e. grown women who have a tendency to blush and fidget with their weapons when they see me. Yes, I am intending to have a harem in fucking Shadowrun.
 
 Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's an interesting setting but frankly I just don't feel motivated to get anything done this time round because I have better versions of everything here except the dragons. Who I may or may not decide to murdersimilate out of spite.
 
 Objectives:
 -Watch my back
 -Shoot straight
 -Conserve ammo
 -Never cut a deal with a dragon
 -Plot twist: I am several types of dragon
 
 ====================================
 
 [Deus Ex]
 
 I didn't ask for this.
 
 New York, Age 24.
 
 Drop In
 
 Regeneration (700)
 DoshX4 (500)
 Riot Prod (Free)
 SH-187 Stealth Helicopter (0)
 
 It's going to take me about 10 minutes to hack into the mainframe and figure out what's going on in the world. After that, I'll figure something out.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Lord of the Rings]
 
 Drawbacks: Taste of the Valinor, The Black Riders (1600). Thanks to If It Bleeds and Power of Dominance, Sauron's not only lost his best lieutenants but they work for /me/ now. And I'm making them dress in grey hoodies. The rest will make for good training for my greener companions.
 
 ...hmm, aren't the nazghul sort of completely empowered by Sauron, and influenced by his evil/the Ring? I may have inadvertantly begun the redemption of the ringwraiths.
 
 Erebor. I'm going to hang around and wait for Smaug to slay him. And obtain his service as a dark minion, of course Becoming a hero to the dwarves in the process.
 
 Human, age 28.
 
 Dwarven craft and Elven Enchantment (700).
 Forestry (Free)
 Basic Magic (300)
 Mental Fortitude (100). Surprisingly good value for CP, really.
 
 Sword (Selling this)
 MoneyX2
 
 Objectives
 -March over to the Black Gates, and make a point of kicking them in. Wade through the armies of orcs, effortlessly parrying their blows even as the Eye of Sauron turns on me. Then break down his tower, and start beating the shit out of him within an inch of his life until he starts coughing up the secrets to ring forging. End his life right there and then, force his soul down with the strength of many willpower perks and walk away satisfied that the Power of Dominance means Morgoth can't do shit to my soul
 -Start enchanting my power ring, using Sauron's expertise. Being careful not to invest the majority of my power in it, or for it to become pointlessly evil
 -Using my fame among the dwarves, lay the groundwork for reintegrating orcs into civil society. Also establish diplomacy between the Haradrim and Gondor
 -Sink the ships at the Grey Havens. I'm not going to genocide the elves. I'm going to make them get off their asses, share their knowledge with the other species and fix everything with the rest of us.
 
 ====================================
 
 [JUMP-CHAN WAS HERE TOO]
 
 [Mahou Sensei Negima J-wait, WHAT?!]
 
 -wait, WHAT? Oh god, I'm trapped in a shounen anime! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING, I'M IN CHARGE HERE-
 
 Drawbacks: Drawn into the Love War, Blank (1600). ...who am I? Who's this pink-haired girl, and why's she giving me that sad look?
 
 Warrior, Age 12 (1500). So you a wizard, or something right? Yeah, close enough. Listen, I don't like to brag but I'm pretty good at punching things. Wanna be my Magistra? I asked the nice man over there, and he said it's totally normal for us to have a special relationship, n-not that I like you or anything...
 
 Hero of a Thousand Faces (300) Hey, check out this thing I got, it keeps transforming! Oh, so this mode's called "Ea"? That's a funny name, miss! Hey, it just turned into a weird spiky fish. Have I seen that somewhere before?
 Gift of the Legendary Hero (700). Miss, I cannot emphasize enough how good I am at punching thing.
 Gift of the Thousand Master (1500). I know what you're thinking, but I'm not a country bumpkin either miss! I can do spells, it's super easy!
 
 H-hey, don't start crying, we are in public y'know. Cheer up, we're adventure buddies now! Going on an adventure! It's gonna be fun, we're gonna do fun stuff, it'll be amazing!
 
 ====================================
 
 [Fallout]
 
 Drawback: Hardcore (1600). Wake up feelin' like I just went 12 rounds with a gorram super mutant, feel like shooting somebody.
 
 Caeser's Legion. I ain't no saint, but this shit's over the fucking line. I'm leaving, and shooting any whore's son wants to get in my way.
 
 Lone Wanderer, Age 28. Hell if I know where I'm from or who I am-
 
 Special Abilities: Guns, Big Guns, Energy Weapons. -but I know just about every way to kill a man.
 
 Sniper+Slayer (900). Don't fuck wit me, boy.
 Terrifying Presence (1200). I ain't much of a people person, but I get by anyways.
 Pet Dog (1300). Hah, even living legends need a friend.
 Rad Child (1600). Always did have a good metabolism.
 
 Fuck if I know what to do after cleanin' off dem degenerates blood. Mayhap I'll head over to that House fucker I been hearing wants a little muscle now and then. Heard he's got some fun toys he can hook me up with. Mayhap I feel like wiping the scum here from the face o' the earth.
 
 Either way, best to start heading inside 'fore the storm starts blowin'
 
 ====================================
 
 [Raildex]
 
 Drawbacks: Keikaku Keystone, Obsession (1400). I do agree that relying on the raw might of several ultimate evils infused into my kaiju-soul along with my Stand, Reality Marble, cartoon physics and willpower oceans to power through drawbacks seems...inefficient. But Raildex being what it is, I do feel it's worth it for the power. Besides, I'm quite interested to fight opponents with Stand-like abilities.
 
 Experiment, Age 16 (1300). I am always willing to play along with someone's plans when they're willing to train me in the use of a new power. It amuses me to think that my "benefactor" will be constantly under attack from the superhuman cabal that are my companions. Whenever I tire of this game, I have all sorts of ways to make a dramatic exit.
 
 Rolled-oh wow.  Imagine Breaker.
 
 The thought occurs that due to my “right hand” being a fleshy shell over a mass of squirming tentacles, I could get much more out of this than Touma ever could.
 
 Malleable Reality (1000). "This hand of mine glows with an awesome power, therefore X happens!"
 Doubled Growth Rate (850). I wonder if Malleable Reality enables me to apply a perk that should theoratically only apply to esper powers to whatever fuels Imagine Breaker
 Formal Training (Free). Possibly a training regime of high fives?
 
 Sister (700). Man, the researchers are going to like her so much better than me
 Calculation Assistance Choker (500). "HEY IMOUTOS CAN YOU HEAR ME"
 Motivated (200). To do science? Why not
 Companion Immigration (0)
 
 ...
 
 ...Elodie now has Telepathy and my Mysterious Being minion has Meltdowner. Everything is fucked.
 
 This jump shall be a marathon in reverse-engineering, espeicially regarding Esper powers. In between surviving high tech assassination attempts. I really have to wonder exactly what sort of keikaku requires me.
 
 NOW BRING ME CLONE 24601!
 YOUR TIME IS UP
 AND YOUR COMPANIONHOOD HAS BEGUN!
 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
 
 AND I'M JUMPER!
 DO NOT FORGET MY NAME!
 DO NOT FORGET ME!
 24601!
 
 ====================================
 
 [Strike Witches]
 
 Drawbacks: Unyielding Enemy, No pants allowed, Rival (1500). There is no more demoralising tactic than zerg-rushing your opponent, only for them to start jacking off in your face. Clearly my rival can't handle my girth, but that's okay: I'm here to do my job, not have a dick-measuring contest with a little girl.
 
 Age 14, Male (1400)
 
 Rolled Gallia. Not what I was expecting, but a cat is fine too.
 
 Ace (1300). Sorry Goose-chan, but it's time to buzz the tower.
 
 Static Discharge (1100). With the Gift of the Thousand Master, one can only imagine how good my Zeus impression is.
 
 Technomage (900). We solar powered strikers now.
 
 Topgun Tactics (700). You can be my wingman any time, wingman-kun :3
 
 Fourth Generation (100).
 
 Anti-Tank Rifle (0). It's been a while since I've handled a gun.
 
 Catboy shota behaving like Maverick. 'Nuff said.
 
 Objectives
 -Repeatedly and blatently flirt with another strike warlock to make my rival jealous and aroused
 -Wear down the alien mothership with precision dogfighting. And finish it off with HF Samehada zandatsu.
 -Make a point of being friendly but distant to my rival in public, so everyone on base knows she's the one starting shit
 -Develop new maneuver based on doing loop-de-loops to build up enough static electricity to scorch the skies.
 
 I'm not familiar with the setting, can anyway give me a guage as to how powerful strikers are? 800 CP is more than the omni-melee weapon I picked up in mahou sensei negima jump.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Fairy Tail]
 
 Drop-In.
 
 Drawbacks: Fanservice, Outlaw (1400)
 
 S-Rank Magic: Territory (1200). Territory within a Stand within a Reality Marble. Yeah, that'll do it.
 
 Silver Key: Apes (1400). AND THE REALITY MARBLE IS FULL OF BEEEEEEES.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Wild West]
 
 Drawbacks: Terrorist Train Tycoon, The Red Ghost (1500). Ha, MY mecha-spider is centuries more advanced than his.
 
 New Sheriff in Town: Defaulting to my Fallout persona i.e.beating the shit out of the lawmen for laying hands on me, then taking the job after they promise to supply me with free whiskey.
 
 Soundtrack (Free) Currently listening to God's Gonna Cut You Down by Johnny Cash
 
 Gun Hand (Free)
 
 Hard Drinker (1100). I'm a one-man stimulus package for the bar peanuts/whiskey economy.
 
 Tin Star (800). I AM THE LAW.
 
 True Grit (200). Aw yeah, double true grit action-TRUEST GRIT. (thanks raildex jump!). Though frankly, anyone stupid enough to take any of my companions hostage has no sense of self preservation.
 
 Ten-Gallon Hat (Free). Time to give this the JoJo treatment.
 
 Badge (Free)
 
 200CP
 
 ...fuck it, let's make this a little more interesting.
 
 Drawback: Done Fucked Up+Legends (900). My /passive/ powers are still enough to crack the Earth. But at least I can have fun this way.
 
 Soul Battery (400). Gotta reverse engineer the shit out of this
 
 The Ranger's Badge (0).
 
 [mexican music intensifies]
 
 ====================================
 
 Generic Magical Girl Jump. OH BOY HERE WE GO.
 
 Drawbacks: Fighting Real Monsters, It Never Stops! (1600). AKA Nanoha Must Die Mode.
 
 Theme:
 
 Rolled: Outside of Town. Villain of the week, meet country redneck.
 
 Innocent (1500), Mahou Shounen, Age 15.
 
 Basic Elemental Zap (Free). A non-lethal option to my Esper murderlasers
 Drawbacks: Fighting Real Monsters, It Never Stops! (1600)
 
 Innocent (1500)
 
 Basic Elemental Zap (free)
 Extra Allies (Free)+Extra Allies X31 (0)
 
 ...that's 4,294,967,296 magical girls under my command.
 
 I think I just broke the jumpchain.
 
 4,294,967,296 magical girls rampaging across the countryside, some of them spamming frantic "nothing to see here!" spells at bamboozled households in a Wonderful 101-esque blur of frilly lace and battle cries and befriending.
 
 ...What the hell are we even fighting?! The Great Old Ones? Sure, let's go with that. With Elodie as my executive officer, my adventure has turned into a /war on cosmic terror/
 
 ====================================
 
 [Madoka]
 
 Madoka!
 
 Drawbacks: Disaster, Overconfident (1400).
 
 >MFW I have If It Bleeds, various eldritch abomination buffs and /a goddamn magical girl civilisation/ as assets
 >MFW I'm up against either Madoka's Kriemhild Gretchen form or Homulily
 >MFW zero fucks
 
 Male, Age 16. Not that gender really matters when you're a physics-breaking mass of shadow. I'm pretty sure I'm giving Kyuubey aneurisym just by existing, let alone putting his energy harvesting project being in serious danger of overloading.
 
 Also, screw you Kyuubey (1100). Fucking around with human emotions puts the universe in far, far greater danger than entropy.
 
 Stop Time (1200). It took me a while to find a reliable timestop after getting Eliatrope in Wakfu, but I finally got it.
 
 Greater Regeneration (1400)
 
 In a stunning homage to (the non-existant) Gurren Lagann jump, millions of magical girls swarm across the world, slaughtering witches en masse, distributing the grief seeds to native magical girls and possibly exposing the world as a giant Incubator grief seed factory. There we do battle in the skies with one of the series' protagonists, while I chase down that little weasel.
 
 Objectives
 -Practice and perfect the ultimate magical girl gattai, millions of magical girls doing THAT to become a massive surge of cosmic power that will create the heavens
 -Acquire enough Incubator model for reverse engineering purposes. Non-combat companions will carry out this task while the Madoka Apocalypse continues
 -Use If It Bleeds to beat Kyuubey into the motherfucking ground
 -Make sure I know where main cast (Sayaka, Kyoko, Mami, Madoka and/or Homura) are at all times, to keep track of the Plot and also figure out whose witch I'm dealing with
 -Once this battles done, commence using Book of M's universal secrets combined with magical versatility supercharged with Gift of the Thousand Master to design a better way to stave off entropy
 
 ====================================
 
 [Fire Emblem Awakening]
 
 O-okay, that was...really something. I'm. I'm going to take a little holiday.
 
 For the sake of my sanity, I need to assume that by this point I have fused HP magic and Type-moon conceptual bullshitting to the point where I can craete subdimensions in my warehouse.
 
 One such subdimension holds the United Kingdom of Magical Girls, ruled by Elodie.
 
 Another holds the frightened and confused WW2 commando unit "Winds of Destruction", who are terrified by the sheer concentration of magical girls because THEY'RE ALL GIRLS! GIRLS CAN'T LOVE GIRLS!.
 
 A third subdimension holds my midgets: A Doctor Who villain-tier WMD that /nobody/ in the Madoka War could have seen coming.
 
 Drawbacks: Weak Link (1200). Yeah, good luck getting between the supersonic muscle aberration and his friends. Jerks.
 
 Tactician, with the dude on the furthest right. That guy looks cool.
 
 Ignis (900). And...yes, I have officially ascended to DBZ final villain tier.
 Astra (400). I'm going to just wave my hands at the vague direction of people here, and they're going to turn into chunky salsa. I'll tell everyone I'm a muscle wizard, and they'll have to believe me.
 Hammerne (100). Ooh, useful.
 Focus (0).
 
 I just want to walk right up with Grima (with my warrior bros stowed safely in my warehouse/magical girl dystopia/midget production plant) and bully him in kaiju form, making fun of his adorable attempts to be intimidating. Oh, and call him Gimle all the time while trying to make him wear a fake beard.
 
 When he finally snaps and tries to fight me, I shall teleport behind him and unsheath Wailing Dark. Nothing personal, kid.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Blazblue]
 
 Drawbacks: Intelligent Weapon, Interesting (1300).
 >Pseudo-Stand
 >Mad science
 >Seeks the power to slay God
 
 What a coincidence. I find this gentleman /interesting/ myself.
 
 Rolled: Okoto. Not sure if good or bad.
 
 Drop-In. Fuck da police.
 
 Mage (600). Seems that's why Relius is after me.
 Ars Magus: Nemea (1200). NICE.
 Survivability (1300).
 
 Objectives
 -Ally with Noel Vermillion out of mutual opposition to a certain madman. Also get around to figuring out who the heck this Ragna guy everyone keeps talking about is
 >Using nanomachine computer wizardry and scanner, locate blueprints of Nox Nyctores weaponry. Wailing Dark is due for another upgrade
 >Scan literally everything
 >Practice Deja Fu forms. Detect abnormalities in local time-stream continuum
 >Commence seithr experiments. Observation: Seithr appears to be some local analogue to chakra. Utilize Samehada to confirm this. If this phenomenon is suitable, start consuming it to achieve my final form
 -Introduce Terumi to Reddit
 
 ====================================
 
 [One Punch Man]
 
 Drawbacks: It's a Mysterious Being, Hungry Hungry Mysterious Beings (1500). Wow, such perception.
 
 Mysterious Being (1400). Pic related. Constant exposure to the searing magical energy of 536870912 magical girls has finally enabled me to achieve my final form. Now I have to find a new final form to achieve.
 
 Mysterious! (Free). I've always been obsessed with gaining control over the fundamental aspects of the universe. I interpret this as my Reality Marble both becoming much easier to manipulate to my desire, and less draining to sustain. as well as my Stand somehow evolving beyond Requiem form.
 Mighty Skill (900). My power is already off the charts, but now...
 Minion (600). Pfhahaha, oh wow. New companion. /Crazy powerful/ new companion.
 I can't believe it's not magic (0). See, physics /was/ angry with me around the time I gained the physics of a Sonic character. Right now, physics is crying into its 120th metaphysical beer as Wailing Dark and Samehada become weapons fit for Demonbane.
 
 As I challenge, I want to become the first Mysterious Being to work my way up the Hero Ranks. Helping little old ladies cross the street, solving crime with my FIST, saving the world-all in a day's work to prove Mysterious Beings aren't evil by nature.
 
 Through this, I hope to have a sparring match with Saitama.
 
 Once he realises I'm the guy he doesn't have to hold back on, we can escalate the sparring and work out as friendly rivals.
 
 EDIT: Finally got round to reading One Punch Man. Holy shit, definitely inviting this guy along for the ride.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Inukami]
 
 Drawbacks: Wanted (1600). Gift of the Thousand Master reporting in, fight me nerd.
 
 Drop-In, Age 16.
 
 MANLY MAN+MEGA MANLY MAN (1300). My machismo can no longer be hidden.
 Channel (1000). Holy shit, a custom throwing midget!
 Money (Free) NOOOOOOOOK I GOTS MORE JOBS FOR YOU
 Survival Flares (Free)
 Magic Troll (200).
 Magic Tome (0).
 
 Welp, my course is clear.
 
 Objective
 -Troll the living shit out of that mage with the force of 1000 Terumis
 
 ====================================
 
 [Sailor Moon]
 
 Drawbacks: See, the thing about tight JoJo pants is..., Tempus Fugit, My Name is... (1500). At this point, my regular identity is only marginally weaker than my Magical Elder God form. And it's been a while since I've fought anyone with time shenanigans.
 
 I'm ALMOST tempted to pick the DA fanfiction option to fight a someone who can fight gud, but...no. Not worth it.
 
 Rolled: Ginza.
 
 Sailor Senshi+male (1200). One of the rare male ones, I suppose.
 
 Catch That Youma! (Free). CATCH THAT FUCKER
 Discordia Cannon+Miss Fortune (300). And on that day, the universe trembled
 Revivification (100). I have...plans for this in the 40K jump
 
 4, 800, 000 Yen (0). Dosh-io!
 
 And so begins the adventure of what appears to be obscure JoJo character Donovan Ignatio Brando. Who has a tendency to casually stroll into the Negaverse, after which much ORAORAORA and exploding buildings can be heard from.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Populus]
 
 Drawback: False Idol (1200)
 
 Rolled Night Falls.
 
 Dakani (1100). Clearly the shaman got a good, long look at my true form and panicked. Ah well, time to set up my own splinter tribe.
 
 Without a Prayer (1000). But make them all pray anyway.
 Ancient Totem Pole (800). For that extra edge against my former tribe.
 Profane Tribal Mask (750). Y'know, because of the whole cult leader thing.
 Firewarriors (600).
 
 Firestorm (300)
 Ghost Army (0)
 
 Objectives:
 -Let out all that pent-up pressure from resisting impersonating the Avatar by declaring myself Shaboth the Foretold, Wielder of the Twisted Flame. Apart from liberal firestorm spamming, call out my Dark Magic slaves to terrorise my enemies. Manifest the Eye of Sauron to look at people really hard.
 -Using superior technological and magical prowess, subordinate and unify the surrounding tribes of the world. Introduce a constitution and state welfare so that all those who kneel to me enjoy a better standard of living. As a minimum achievement, introduce universal plumbing, electricity and firearms (for the military castes only) to my loyal subject-nations in this world before proceding to the next
 -Task for my brigade of assistants: Identify the nature of spirits in this world. Research and replicate other spells.
 
 ====================================
 
 HOLY FUCK HOW ARE YOU STILL EVOLVING?
 
 SERIOUSLY, THIS SHOULD NOT BE REALISTICALLY POSSIBLE
 
 ALRIGHT FINE: I HEREBY DUB THEE ELDER GOD JUMPER. NOW RUN ALONG YOU CRAZY BASTARD
 
 ====================================
 
 [No Game No Life]
 
 Alright, I got this.
 
 I FOUGHT THE LAW (1800). I was hoping for a more subtle approach to reality-breaking, but as I'm fundamentally opposed to being limited in any way, I might as well take CP for it.
 
 Drop-In, Human, Age 25.
 
 Aschente (Free). To play of expectations, I might challenge people to play games on my terms. Thus, I shall trick people into playing Flappy Birds by presenting it as a very simple game. If nothing else, this'll be a good way to weed out the hotheaded jerks in every anime who love challenges-and get their allegiance.
 
 Double Triple Backwards Bluff and Cold Reading (1300). I've been to JoJo jump. I'm not going to underestimate people just because they're physically incapable of harming me.
 
 Human Calculator (1000). Empowering my already formidable Esper and Spin abilities
 
 Seeing the Future and Weapons of the Week (600). Everything is keikaku. All is keikaku.
 
 Blood Devastation (200). The sheer force it would take to fracture my bones at this point is ridiculous, mostly because /I don't have bones except in my natural form/.
 
 Weapons of the Week (100). Always a good standby, this.
 
 Lodesamone and Nice Clothes (0). Time to flip the board over in style.
 
 Dresden Files is famous for its explosion magic, not so much for the ability to scry others with barely any hint of detection. Combined with the precision WMD of Raildex, and I'm confident I can gank the NEETs while they're sitting at a game.
 
 After that, anyone who hasn't fallen for my ruses and is obliged to oppose everyone else gets to say hello to THE MIDGETS. They shall be the vanguard, while my companions run sabotage missions and I take a belly-flop in kaiju form on the elven capital. While summoning all my other kaiju Dark Magic slaves.
 
 It's not going to be easy, but hey: That's what happens when you knock the board over.
 
 
 ====================================
 [Dark Souls]
 
 Drawbacks: Queen's Devotion, Bonewheel Parade (1600). I have several means of magic perception available to me, and also the Gift of the Thousand Master supercharging those. I'll know if something's amiss.
 
 ...that other drawback is gonna suck, though. 2spooky.
 
 Rolled: Oolacile. Alright, game plan: Toss in a flashbang or something to stun/disorientate Manus. Rush in at supersonic speed, grab Dusk and Joestar Secret Technique it outta there.
 
 THEN I can bring out the heavy ordinance. Let's see how Primordial Man stands up to bazookas, a goddamn mech and other modern firearms.
 
 Drop-In. Oh, I know what I want from this world
 
 Oowagh (200) He’s a big guy. For most residents of the DS Jump
 Dusk of Oolacile (400) Bracing for heart attack when she and Elodie hug
 Solaire (700) I seem to attract companions who are my moral opposite
 Sir Alonne (1200) Eh's a pretty cool guy, he fights chosen undead and doesn't afraid of anything
 
 ...which leaves me with 400 points. I have a brilliant plan:
 
 Hexcraft (1500)
 
 During my travels I'll seek out and learn hexes. If anyone asks in the future bits of DS Jump, I'll announce that I'm looking for a legendary "Child of Dark" I've heard from in some places. I will then keep a very, very careful eye on anyone who follows me around after that.
 
 Meanwhile, I’m getting good at one of the few darkness magic powers that isn’t excessively edgy.
 
 Sense Evil (1600).
 
 And THIS is how I uncover the Child of Dark. It's like I really am the Sam Spade of Dark Souls.
 
 Apart from that, I'm going to take Vendrick's advice and seek adversity. And I'm gonna eat ALL THE SOULS. With a little luck, I might even be able to collect /multiple/ iterations of the great souls. I shall leave this world imbued with all their might. Last of all, I shall return to Vendrick the crowns of ages past-and free myself from the undead curse.
 
 Other objectives include:
 -Sprinkling the Fair Lady with Andraste's Ashes, and helping her regain her strength with nanomachine healing and Elder Scrolls magic.
 -Inducting Elodie into the Sunlight Covenant and introducing her to Gwyn, and Vendrick
 -In the future, slaying the primordial serpents. If Vendrick hasn't already
 -Use the giants' kinship to communicate with "Oowagh"
 -Kick open the doors to the Kiln and Drangleic's sanctums, and laying to rest the horrors within-so men can decide their own fate
 -Induct myself into the Dragon Covenant the hard way. Fight people in fair duals (only human swording ability), win, become a dragon. Then break into Aldia's keep to find out how to become a fully fledged local dragon
 -Assume LOSS dragon form, fly over to Oolacile and hang out with Kalameet. See if he wants to go on a jumpchain adventure thing.
 -Travel to the Sunken Kingdom. Help Sinh get that spear out of his chest and treat his poison.
 -Investigate the potency of Black Keys on children of the Dark
 -Travel back far enough to see what the giant kingdom was like, to make an informed decision as to whether Vendrick was right or wrong
 -Travel even further back to Lordran's glory days (carefully hiding Gwyn's soul in me if I have it at this point) to leave the Lords a homebrew Atlantean fusion reactor. Might work, might not, who knows?
 -FUS ROH DAH Patches off a cliff
 -Build a sustainable soul-construct that automatically feeds the Kiln of the First Flame by generating souls, sustaining the Age of Light indefinately
 -Dick around in the memory of the Ancient Dragon. See how much of the age before fire I can explore. Assume LOSS dragon form and hang out with the other dragons.
 -Join the Rat King covenant, and give him some pointers for diplomacy with humans. Maybe give the rats some advanced tech too.
 -Introduce the Heirs of the Sun to Solaire
 -Go housecleaning with Alonne to sweep the Dark out of his old boss’ crib
 -Invent new hexus through hard work and guts
 -Devour the Children of the Dark's souls. And also Manus’ soul.
 -Devour all the Ineffable/Lord souls
 -Devour dragon souls
 -Devour giant souls-but respectfully, on the basis that otherwise they’d be stuck in this neverending cycle of light and dark
 -This is in no way a terrible idea that will end with terrible consequences for me.
 
 ====================================
 [Bleach]
 
 Drawbacks: Tasty, Tasty V2, Unwanted Harem, Wild (2200).
 
 Rolled: Hell. Jump-Chan, are you trying to tell me something about the state of my immortal soul?
 
 Upper Class, Shinigami, Age 17 (2000). A staff (least fancy), a scythe (second most fancy) and some pimped out cestii (fanciest). I'd make them all midgets, but it /did/ state melee weapons...
 
 Enhanced Physiology (1900). Oh lawdy lawdy lawd, doubled kaiju strength...
 Ascend (1800). Neat, now I can high-five my Stand!
 Blessed by Hell (1400). ...thanks, hell?
 Combat MasteryX6 (950): Energy sabers, midgets, Deja Fu, Ghost Cutter, Rakansen and Lucha Libre. I AM THE BEST AT FIGHTING
 Hollow Blood (450). Wow, my trip to Dark Souls is paying off already!
 More powers (50). I don't even know what reiatsu is, but "more powers" can only be a good thing!
 Kido (0). I don't know what this is, but okay.
 
 WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!
 
 ====================================
 
 [Monopoly]
 
 I like to imagine this is some sort of surreal chaos world with real hotels, pewter gods that move like Weeping Angels and giant dice crashing over the horizon. I am my piece, and the other players have life-sized traditional Monopoly avatars that move as if nudged by an invinsible hand coughcapitalismcough.
 
 Drawbacks: Can't Get in Trouble, Dunkards and Draughts, More of Them, Shrewd Fellow, Irritable, Embarrassment (1400 CP). And so the game quickly devolves into me yelling at the confused, inebirated voices in the sky.
 
 Savings and Loan (900). That's right, you drunken assholes. Gib monies, pls.
 Cash Advance (600). MORE MONIES
 Rainy Day Fund (0). ALL THE MONIES
 
 And after that, I assume this procedes like every board game I've ever played i.e. the other players throwing a hissy fit and confusing themselves while I quietly take up all the money and strategic bits.
 
 ...huh, I might've been able to trounce this jump if I hadn't decided to go on a rampage in NGNL.
 
 
 ====================================
 
 [Archer]
 
 Drawbacks: Biotic Nemesis, Sex Addict (1400)
 
 Dr Krieger, I'm ISIS! (1300)
 
 He wasn't alone.
 
 Uh, you don't get to bring frie-actually, you know what. Get them on board. I'll, heh, call it in.
 
 B-but they work for the merce-
 
 Sploosh (700)
 Basic (Training)
 Heir (100)
 Improvised Weaponry (0)
 
 With my superior seduction tactics, I shall tease my captives until they confess that the significantly-larger-than-average individual is, in fact, the cyborg. This is my cue to shoot him in the head.
 
 And throw him out of a plane, of course.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Cooking Show]
 
 Le Cordon Bleu. (900). I am the best at cookery.
 
 Cabinets and Kings (650). There is no polite way to bring about the time I helped the Soviet Union conquer the US, so I'll just shut up and cook.
 Creole (550). Free crawdads! Crawdads everywhere! This makes me wonder if they are all projections of a crawdad Platonic Ideal that Jump-Chan keeps as a pet.
 Oktoberfest (450).
 GLORIOUS CAST-IRON MASTER RACE (150)
 Gas range (50)
 Spice rack (0)
 
 So imagine this: You're watching the cooking channel when suddenly an mass of writhing non-Euclidean darkness somehow wearing lederhosen steps up and starts monologuing, in a voice like the sound of dying stars, how to complement beer with food. Frozen in horror, you can't look away from this sentient fault in reality, and yet somehow...you find yourself oddly attracted to him. You can few your sanity breaking from these contradictory sensations.
 
 In the back ground you have a shapeshifter who's attempting to eat the cameraman, an abhuman amazon who smiles so hard it comes off her face and a teenage girl firing lasers in boredem. All wearing drindl.
 
 /This is going to be the best cooking show ever/
 
 ====================================
 
 [Ace Combat]
 
 Argh, I used up all my good Maverick lines...
 
 Drawbacks: Ace Combat (1600). Welp, I wanted the definitive Ace Combat experience, I'm damn well getting the definitive Ace Combat experience.
 
 Rolled: Belka. At least it's not going through civil war.
 
 Knight (1600).
 
 Sick Maneuvers (1200). The very sickest
 Basic Flight Training/Missle Surplus/Comm Chatter (Free). Neat, I can fly this thing! /How am I flying this thing?!/
 Never Fly Alone (1050). At least one of my companions is going to kamikaze the enemy. The thing is, if it's the one I'm thinking of it's a perfectly legitimate tactic.
 Targetting Algorithm (Free). Explains how my loose canon tactics keep working, at least
 Missle Massacre (750). AKA the anti-superweapon perk.
 Running Circles and Magnificent Bastard (550). For extra frustration to my opponents.
 
 6th Generation Fighter Plane (350).
 Tactical Link (250). That's prime reverse engineering material, right there
 All-Direction Multi-Purpose Missle (100). Yes. Yes, I want missles
 ECM Jammer (0). And I also want this.
 
 I want to fix up the com link so I can set it to transmit information both ways. Every time I shoot down one of the enemy, the surviving pilots will hear "He didn't fly so good! WHO WANTS TO TRY NEXT?!
 
 ====================================
 
 [Cowboy Bebop]
 
 Drawbacks: Pierrot le Fou, Ballad of Fallen Angels (1700).
 
 Anyone with similar "skills and abilities" as me would quickly go mad without decades to hone their willpower and get hunted by rest of the setting as a result.
 
 As for Pierrot-I'm going to start wailing on his forcefield, punting it around into a Wakfu portal. Which I will then redirect towards the nearest sun. At escape velocity.
 
 Gannymede, Age 23. Not bad.
 
 Cop (1600). We Javert now.
 
 When I bite (1300). It's a pity the law doesn't allow me to be merciful
 Tell Me Some More (Free). Especially if it's about Prisoner 24601...
 Radical (700). Don't do cybercrimes, yo
 Honky Tonk Man (400). I'm a /sexy/ Javert
 
 MONO (0).
 
 GET THE FUCK BACK HERE RIGHT NOW PRISONER 24601 DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE AND GET YOU i-i-it's not like I want to reform you or anything, b-baka
 
 ====================================
 
 
 [Mass Effect]
 
 Drawbacks: Reaper Eye, Rogue AI, Bounty (1600). It's going to take me about 10 minutes to hurt that AI into a reverse I have no mouth and I must scream situation. Bounty hunters are just there to entertain my (terrifying) companions. As for Reaper-there is a non-zero chance I could kill one with my bare hands. Not that it's a good idea with indoctrination, of course; I'll stick to spamming planet-sized DF magic hexes to short them out, and redirecting their beams into each other.
 
 Rolled: Krogan, Drop-In, Illium. He's the guy who made the Consort giggle at a certain quad joke. When he was told about Omega's one rule, he took it as a come-on. He's the proud curator of a museum dedicated to recently unearthed traditional Krogan art. He is The Most Interesting Krogan In The Galaxy.
 
 Vanguard. That'll learn those conservatives who think I'm a wuss.
 
 Exemplar /and/ Apostate (800). I shall trascend the arbitrary morality system
 Tongue of a Shepard (300). The most powerful weapon in all of Mass Effect
 
 Elite Ordinance (200). I'm definately only inviting my more mentally stable companions on this one
 Loadout (Free)
 Assistant V! (100). I'm already experienced at reverse-engineering tech, might as well have a little help with storing data
 Extra CreditsX2 (0).
 
 Objectives:
 -Scan the Reapers with my Iji technology, identifying potential weaknesses and components to reverse-engineer
 -Hack into the Cruicible. Corrupt the AI out of existence, possibly causing the Reaper fleet to malfunction. Commence taking the blue option, assuming direct control of any Reapers I have not killed yet. Ensure this choice elevates me above Reaper indoctrination-then begin assimilating the Reapers
 -Break Omega's one rule-and survive
 -Meet Shepard. Teach him/her to dance better
 
 ====================================
 
 [HALO]
 
 Drawbacks: Cassandra, Tag-Along, Target (1600). I'm good enough at hacking that it should be simple enough to wipe myself from ONI's records, or blackmail them into submission. As for the rest-I'm not that gud at HALO lore so I haven't lost much.
 
 Rolled: Arcadia. My excuse is-HARRY POTTER INVISIBILITY CHARM. One cyber attack on ONI and some looting, and it's time to go somewhere else quick.
 
 Drop-In, Age 22.
 
 Huragok (1300). Us victims of fate gotta stick together!
 
 Antigen (1000). A must-have
 Erudition (700). And just like that, everything makes sense
 Hacking (Free). And put to good use
 INDOC (100). If it doesn't already, my Haki must hit like a meteor
 UNSC Marine Battle Corps Dress Uniform (Free)
 TACPAD (0). In case ONI is awfully persistant
 
 Objectives:
 -Synthesize the antigen with RE biotech to create a virus that only targets the Flood specifically, giving them Space Ebola. Which is like Ebola, but much worse because it can survive in SPACE. Sprinkle some of this on the Gravemind
 -Figure out how to shut down the Rings to prevent the Forerunners getting any silly ideas about purifying the galaxy
 -Augment my battle-midgets with hardlight, Covenant arms and other relevant advances
 
 ====================================
 
 [HALO Gauntlet]
 
 RIP Funny Guy, see you next jump
 
 Drawbacks: Recast, Rewrite, Glitch, OH GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE, Where's John, The Last Spartan (1250). We Defender of Earth now.
 
 Skills: Leadership, Computers, Hand-to-Hand
 
 Rolled: Reach
 
 Luck (1100).
 Future Armor (950)
 Digital Companion (850)
 MutantX4 (50). Welp, here's your CP back Jump-Chan.
 
 Nanomaster (Iji). Let's see how the Covenant likes being on the other end of the technological arms race
 Conquerer's Haki (One Piece). Assuming I don't get to keep all my willpower perks, my Spartan training should harden me to the point where I can domesticate Flood and make Forerunner shit their space-skirts. Assuming I DO keep my willpower, I now have a weapon with which to mindbreak the Gravemind
 Dark Magic (Hellsing). And just like that, everything was fucked for the Flood, forever
 Meltdowner (Raildex). For extra curbstomp fun
 
 It's time to kick ass and throw midgets. And I'm all out of midgets.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Age of Mythology]
 
 Drawbacks: Titanomachy, Cheaters, Skraelings (1600). So-we have the lawless savages who need some goddamn civilisation, the ebin hackers who will absoluely hate it when I bring out my own transuniversal hax and also a warm-up for Ragnorak. I love it, even though the OCD mythology buff in me wants to point out Titanomachy only refers to the greek gods and titans' struggle.
 
 Atlantean, Age 19. Normally I'd balk to bending the knee to any titan, but considering I /am/ technically Atlantean thanks to City of Gold jump I feel obliged to stand up for my civilisation. FABULOUS NUDIST SUN KING IS BACK! Also Kronos for blessing, that's some tactical genius shit right there.
 
 Tartarian Gate (300). I know how this thing works, and it is a /nightmare/ for anyone who has to deal with it
 Implode (600). BOOM
 Titan Gate (1200). Yes, I am going to eat the titan when it's on the verge of death. Yes, I am growing stronger every day, our blood sacrifice has unleashed the power of the old gods, kneel before me for I am unstoppable
 The Book of Thoth (1600). At last-the power to peer into the mind of a GOD!
 
 Murmillo Arms (Free)
 
 Objectives:
 -Rediscover the Atlantean people's solar ICBMs and fusion reactor technology
 -Through prayer, negotiate an alliance between Gaia and the other Titans, citing the fact that the gods are /filthy degenerates/ and the world deserves to be ruled by the Titan master race. Then seed the world with Gaia's foliage to dampen the gods' influence
 -My midgets already had self-replicating protocals, but it never hurts to have some redundancy
 -Win friends and influence Arkantos and Kastor to join me on the winning team
 
 ====================================
 
 [Viking Jump]
 
 Right off the bat, OF DESTINY BORN. WE GOTTERDAMMERUNG NOW (0).
 
 Drawbacks: Odin is on your side, Loki likes you, A Harsher Fire, Chill Reception (assuming this last one gives as much CP as A Harsher Fire, if the creator's here feel free to contradict me), a glorious death, Personal vengeance, Yo *word for posterior* so fine, Forgotton Face, An Enemy of Us All (2300). Clearly Odin and Loki are somehow aware of what I did in AoM, and are each attempting to pull a double-bluff out of fear. This can only lead to FUN in the Dorf Fort sense of the word.
 
 Also I should point out that at this point my build is such that any attempt at raping me is going to backfire /horribly/ for whoever tries.
 
 Age 18, supernatural realms, Other Clan (1800). Guess I'll be meeting a one-eyed man and a guy tied up with venom in his eyes /real/ soon.
 
 Fueled by Fear (1500). I wield weapons beyond this world, and two gods want me on their side. This is a good perk
 Words hold Power (900). With reality marble, the possibilities are endless!
 Scion of the Trickster (800). Yep.
 King’s Wisdom (200). Odin is either a Jumper or the smartest god ever, it’s hard to tell. Either way-A NAME FOR YOU, A NAME FOR ME, EVERYTHING’S GETTING NAMED
 Yo Mama So Ugly (0)…she makes Grendel’s mama feel good about herself!
 
 ====================================
 
 [Starcraft]
 
 Drawbacks: Amon, Bounty (1800). One's a brief distraction from the ever-present SPEHSS. The other is part of my master plan: To unite Protoss DNA with the Zerg, and assume the form of the Xel'Naga.
 
 Drop-In, Age 27. Let's not stand on ceremony, I know what I want from this one.
 
 Rolled D-3974. How fortuitous.
 
 I'm taking a Predator unit as the free companion and a squad of SCVs. I can take care of myself.
 
 Tech Expert (1200). A good starting point
 Psychic+Proper Training (800). That's actually a new trick for me
 Resistance (500). Kerrigan can fuck right off with my accumulated willpower
 Immunity (200). That ain't gonna work, Zerg. Now, infecting YOU on the other hand...
 Connections (100). Cue everything making sense, WOW.
 
 Khaydarin Crystal (0). From what I remember, the Xel'Naga really liked these things. Might be necessary.
 
 Plan is to take protoss specimans alive, enough for repeated trials. Zerg can be exterminated with impunity; I'll have to conduct raids on their base to grab the larvae that contain all potential genetic coding. Hybrids definately merit study. Once I isolate the genetic makeup, I'ma dump it all into my homebrew geneforge. Then using the mysterious Research Notes, my mastery of RE genetics and my crystal, I'll synthesize a way to go full Xel'Naga
 
 Although-I have a much pressing matter: Amon. I'll leave it to my companions to sort this out.
 
 I personally have to chase down this alien bastard before he's revived and give him an old fashioned cremation. And-while I'm sure this will have terrible consequences-eating the ashes in Prototype form while assimilating his soul via Dark Magic.
 
 After that-I'll either return to find either a Xel'Naga speciman to murderssimilate, or a super serum is fine too.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Courage the Cowardly Dog]
 
 Drawbacks: You're Not Perfect, Finders Keepers, Return the Slab, Ya Fool! (1600).
 
 I almost feel bad because of what's about to happen next. Nowhere is about to become the duelling grounds for at least 2 nightmarish beings.
 
 Rolled Nowhere Cinema. You're a spooky building, Mr Cinema. But you're alright by me.
 
 Villain (1500). Look, I'm kind of an eldritch abomination already. Literally anything else is just going to creep people out even /more/ as they experience Uncanny Grand Canyon.
 
 Cursed Saxophone (1250). Can't wait to turn this on the Chaos Gods
 Cajun Fox Recipes (1200). It's all pork, I swear
 Or Suffer My Curse (1000). FEEBLE CURSED ONE
 Suave+Entrepreneurial+Kool Kat (850). For extra suave points
 You're on TV! (650). HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY?
 Ooga Booga Mask (600). 2spooky
 Charlie Mouse (300). He is to plot devices what Nook is to upgrades, can't miss out on that
 Bathtub Barracuda (0). This is really more for the benefit of my audience than me
 
 Despite, well, everything about this build-I'm planning to be the rare token spooky character that actually bros it up with Courage. Maybe I respect his persistance, or maybe he's so far beneath I'm content to just chat with him. In fact, I want to join forces with him to put a certain undead to rest.
 
 Objectives:
 -Share recipes with Muriel, my totally-not-people cajun food for her delicious soup
 -Get in range to stick a few Black Keys in that mummy
 -Revitalise Nowhere Cinema's popularity, specialising in horror films. I have a perk that makes me stronger the more I am feared, and will use it
 -Portal Courage's parents back from the moon. At this point my Wakfu portal skill is unsurpassed, so it should be a cinch
 -Run various stock horror schemes on people outside of Bagge Farmhouse. Grow stronger and stronger off fear
 -Traumatize Eustace, using Pavlovian conditioning to frighten him from ever raising a hand against Courage again
 
 ====================================
 
 [Skies of Arcadia]
 
 Drawbacks: Larso's Wrath, Pissed Off Ramirez, Teodora's Wanted List, Looper Magnet (1800). No limits on the drawbacks, no problems. Apart from all my accumulated powers, /I can fly without an airship/
 
 Rolled Yafutoma. Wait-do fish /not/ normally live in water here? This is going to be an interesting vacation jump.
 
 Pirate, Age 14 (1700). Black pirate for life-HA, things have come full circle and I'm probably a more terrible One Piece villain at this point than Doflamingo ever could be. What's with those weirdos' sword obsession, and why do I have to live next to them?
 
 SUPREME MANLINESS (1500). Yes, the most MANLY 14 year old elder god in the world doesn't afraid of gravity and /oh god I'm turning into Luffy/
 Prophecy (1200). My companions are /broken/. One knows all the martial arts, one is all the vampires, one is a goddamn dragon; I could probably cause an extinction event if I drew on the power of our friendship
 
 Cupil (600). That thing's adorable! I'm going to spend my time here looting chams and feeding it, until it resembles a certain moon goddess from Exalted!
 Black Moon Crystal (0). I'm gonna do science to you, crystal!
 
 I can just see the dismay on the enemy ship and the facepalms of my crew, as I take a runnining leap from the ship, dropkick towards the other ship, transform into a kaiju, and cut the ship in half in a way that also covers it in ice
 
 ====================================
 
 [Firefly]
 
 Drawbacks: Reaver Scent, The Money's Good, Comfortable Bunk (1500). Get money, get paid.
 
 Drop-In, Age 30. Let the plot rampage continue!
 
 Leaf on the Wind (Free). WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG
 Things DO Go Smooth (900). Look in my hand, what's that? It's a luck perk. Look down, back up. The luck perk is now diamonds. Anything's possibly when you're travelling on the jumpchain!
 Never Call Me That Again (500). WELL THEN
 Can't Stop The Signal (100)
 Calm and Serene (0).
 
 So let me get this straight: The crew of Serenity now includes a sarcastic high class dom with ridiculous luck, the know-how to pilot the ship and also some latent hacking talent amongst other terrifying secrets
 
 I can't tell if I've ruined Firefly or improved it
 
 ====================================
 
 [KOTOR]
 
 Drawbacks: Notorious, Hunted, Broken (1600). Since I am a writhing mass of tendrils in human form, I can just grow back my arm Piccolo-style. As for the rest-entire galaxy and one bounty hunter against me?
 
 Sounds like a fair fight!
 
 Dantooine, Age 19. OUT OF THE WAY FUCKING SITHS GREY JEDI MASTER RACE COMING THROUGH
 
 ...I mean, Grey Jedi (1500)
 
 "Human", no reason to change
 
 Intelligence. It works well with what I'm about to pick
 
 Persuasion (Free)
 Fore Persuasion (1200)
 Comprehend Speech (1050)
 Piloting (750)
 
 Aurek-class tactical starfighter (350). Oddly enough, spaceships are one of the few things I've been short on so far
 Qixoni and Solari crystals (150). The Force is grey, blah blah blah, more crystals more fun
 Spending all the rest on dosh, a total of 200,000 credits
 
 I'm going to have such /fun/ making people think I'm a guy on the other faction's side, and laughing at them shooting at each other. Kreia's around here somewhere, right? She could probably train me in this grey jedi stuff
 
 ====================================
 
 [James Bond]
 
 Drawbacks: SPECTRE Target, Disavowed (1400).
 
 Rolled: Sean Connery. Our combined manliness is going to make all the women and most of the men in the vicinity lightheaded
 
 MI5, Age 23 (1300). Joke's on MI6, I have every intention of going along with Bond's shenanigans-AND getting the job done
 
 Fieldcraft (Free). 2subtle4U
 Oh, James! (1000). I have this hilarious image of Bond and I accidentally each other's girl of the week like a cheesy sitcom
 Suave and Sophisticated (400). How could I /not/ take this?!
 Bladed Hat (300). Cue hat duel between Oddjob and I
 Femme Fatale (0). Importing my Mysterious Being minion. Hilarity will ensure as Bond tries to figure out why he can't seem to seduce her (nonhuman physiology) and also why she can poke holes in steel
 
 ====================================
 
 [Deadman Wonderland]
 
 Well, there's no way to /not/ be edgy in this one. Fuck.
 
 Drawbacks: Lost a Game, Framed (1600). Welp, just gotta regenerate an organ and punch a dude into oblivion. No biggie.
 
 ...the thought of a yandere with all my powers frightens and horrifies me.
 
 Inmate, Age 15 (1500). I DINT DO NOTHING, FUCK DA POLICE
 
 Wretched Egg (1000). OW FUCK SHIT ARGH, this is gonna suck. At least the current composition of my body means a) it's not going to hurt as much as it would a human child and b) I'm going to give my scientists nightmares by existing. Guess I'll spend the horrible, agonizing experiments thinking about torturing my creators to death. Shame I can't bring any companions on this jump
 Lucky (600). Er, relatively?
 Snake+Branch of Sin (300). I guess that edgy scientist fuck got creative in this continuity. For my basic branch of sin, I'll spring for spiderman-like webbing.
 Regeneration (200). Nope, no more pain.
 Prison Map (0).
 
 First thing I'm doing after stretching out the cramps is reconvening at the warehouse. Then I'm using the map to track down that edgy mindjacking fuck, nodding along with his pseudo-philosophy long enough to get in range-to magic a hole in his chest. Copy /that/, Toto.
 
 After that? Liberate everyone and enjoy the sights and sounds of Tokyo in a rare moment of isolation
 
 ====================================
 
 [Goat Simulator]
 
 Drawbacks: A Story About My Goat, Completionist, Gotta Goat Flap (1600). BAA BAA BAA!
 
 Rolled Goat Ville. Baa baa?
 
 Mutator: Devil Goat (1100). BAAAAAAAAA
 Black Hole Pitching Machine (200). BAA BAA BAA reverse engineering BAA BAA BAA
 Ragdoll (100). BAA?
 Mutator: Deadgoa7 (0). BAA!
 
 (chews cud)
 
 ====================================
 
 [Yu-Gi-Oh]
 
 Drawbacks: Nightmares, Disliked (1500). Oh no, please don't anyone beat me up while I'm unconscious /because I'm always accompanied by terrifying and loyal companions/ and anyway you'd probably break your limp, children's card game playing wrists punching me nigga
 
 Rolled Heatland City-again, really?
 
 Technician, Age 15 (1400). You know who needs friends? People who don't have an interdimensional squad of superhuman minions
 
 Aw yeah, Original Deck (1200)! Does this mean I get to carry around a mini Jump-Chan around in my pocket? And as for some of the other atrocities in my deck:
 
 >Martin Crocodile Skink
 >Draugo
 >Rubyn
 >Robin Williams the Hedgehog
 >Sonichusteel, illegitimate son of Sonichu and Coldsteel
 
 Destiny Cards (700). No one's taking /these/ from me
 Anti-Shadow Realm (400). To intimidate anyone savvy enough to attempt to murder me through a children's card game
 It's a Trap (350). And so is my opponent
 Sphinx Got Nothing (200). My opponents are /really/ going to hate me
 Duel Gazer (Free)
 Attire (Free)
 Unbreakable Duel Platform (100). Another precaution in case /someone/ attempts to break my hardware
 The Card (0). Specifically, the one with Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way on it
 
 I'm going to milk that drawback for all it's worth, duelling anyone in line of sight, spending the entire duel psychologically breaking my opponents and getting strong off their misery-have I mentioned I have a perk for increasing my magic reserves by making people miserable? I'm going to be supercharged by the end of this jump.
 
 In particular, I-or at least a proxy-will covertly assassinate Astral. I will then pose as an otherworldly benefactor (not-so-subtly indicating I obliterated his last imaginary buddy) to Yuma and offer him "advice" that tricks him into walking into pratfall after pratfall until he's the only person more hated in the whole city than me.
 
 At some point, I'll casually annihilate something big like a building and smile innocently at people, daring them to say something
 
 ====================================
 
 [Babylon 5]
 
 Drawbacks: The Third Place, Exarch of Disorder, Squidbait (2100). I...actually quite like that title. And from what I've heard Vorlons are basically elves. TIme to release the midgets.
 
 Also, AT LAST: A WORTHY OPPONENT. The Third Place is populated by a post-jumpchain Planeswalker isn't it
 
 Drop-In, Age 19 (1800). Shiiiit, all dem free perks!
 
 Iron Will/Stone Cold/Ascetism (Free). I'm hardcore.
 NightWatch (1400). Welp, so long and thanks for the free battleship guys. Don't let the plot hit you on the way out!
 Soul Globe (900). That ancient hero's memories/data tasted /delicious/
 Criminal Tendencies (600). Remember everyone: Fuck Vorlons! My drawback is totally their fault!
 CWC (450). Seems handy
 Hyperspace Awareness (200)
 Pilot (50)
 Spending all the rest on dosh for a total of-10,000 credits
 
 Alright, Vorlons: You wanna play rough? Let's do this: Hacking into your archives to disseminate knowledge among all the "lesser" races, assassinating Kosh with a virus tailored /precisely/ to kill off Vorlons, flood the street with emotional magic stirring resentment and spite against you. Midgets, midgets everywhere breeding like Orks. As for your minions, they'll make for good practice for my Esper powers, Norse reality-bending and Xel'Naga biology-and that's not even my final form! After I smash a planet I doubt anyone's gonna want to deal with you guys. But you know what would be really fitting? Devouring one of your members prototype-style, infiltraiting your ranks and subtly sabotaging your precious hierachy with misinformation. With Iji nanomachines, I just have to /poke/ a console to make trouble for you.
 
 As for the interlopers: I'm pulling out all the stops to fence that fucker. Shit's gona get real. When I've had my fun or if they get serious-I'll have the midgets open fire with black hole generators. And as a coup de grace, toss an Implosion right into that sun core.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Macross]
 
 Drawbacks: Big Red Target, Rival, Could You Repeat that? (1600). With all the fighting I'll be doing, my rival's going to get himself killed if he doesn't get his shit together.
 
 >Anon, you have to play rock music at the aliens to defeat them!
 >I have to play rock music at the aliens to defeat them?
 >...
 >Wait what that isn't how space works!
 
 Rolled Macross Frontier. The Vajra look like something I ate a few jumps ago-oh great, now i'm hungry
 
 Age 17, Human, 1600, Singer. Welp, guess my Anti-Spiral avatar ain't gonna work for this jump
 
 Serene Sinatra (Free). As a sort of apology to everyone around me for repeating anything new
 Basic Training (Free)
 Macross Missile Massacre (1500). Combined with my Ace Combat/Strike Witches experience, and I can dogfight with the best of them
 Lyrical Repository (Free) Everything's a song! EVERYTHING! And with my knowledge of Odin Magic and Skald Hax, I can browbeat reality into singing wherever the hell I want!
 Voice of Gold (1350). I wonder if anyone's tried rapping in this setting
 Music Meister (1050). I have no idea why anyone would think that thought, but it sounds like a /brilliant/ idea
 
 Advanced Variable Fighter (850). Spehss plane for spehss
 Drums of War (700). This can only end in hilarity
 Companion Import (400). Aw yeah, we space rock band now
 Laser Emitter Pod (200). I THROW MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR SOME TIMES, SINGING AY-YO, BATTLE LIGHT SHOW
 Targetting Upgrade (100). I WANNA CELEBRATE AND LIVE MY LIFE, SINGING AY-YO, MANO-E-MANO
 Money (Free)
 AutocannonX2 (0).
 
 ====================================
 
 [XCOM]
 
 Drawbacks: Exalted, Green Rookies, Not Enough Time Units!, Enemy Within, Unreasonable Expectations (2000). I've proven my combat reverse-engineering chops in Iji, so I at least can move freely to identify and destroy the device if it's on the battlefield, or track down its energy signature and destroy it if it's long range. And thanks to Dark Souls Jump I can detect malignant intent; I just have to shake hands with a lot of bureaucrats
 
 Rolled Europe
 
 Drop-In. I'm...going with a slightly different introduction: Armed men broke in, and I took /them/ prisoner before frog-marching them through the warpgate to demand answers. XCOM is now under the impression that I am an alien, and are desperate enough to ally with me against the Ethereals.
 
 Polyglot (Free).
 Public Face (1850). And so XCOM breathes a little sigh of relief that not-Kane isn't being a dick about the mysterious alien thing
 Psionic Potential (1550). As I've already unlocked and mastered psionics from Starcraft, I must really be good at this psionic thing by now
 Enhanced Training (1250). Of the musical montage variety
 More With Less (950).
 Reverse Engineering (350). With this and the above perk, the Ethereals' networks won't be safe for long
 
 Operative Companion (50). No NCIS jump, no problems
 Medikit (0). Mostly for my men
 
 Objectives:
 -Wear down every Ethereal I meet with Conquerer's Haki, before utterly dominating their will with my advanced psionics training from Starcraft. Use particularly malleable specimans as moles
 -Start creating everyday applications from the alien technology e.g. a gravity washing machine or something
 -Practice my own ominously cryptic monologues. Grow a goatee so I can walk around base stroking it
 
 ====================================
 
 [Gothic]
 
 Drawback: Hunted, Allergic (1500). Honestly my nanomachines and biological augmentations are probably better than any regular healing spell here
 
 Rolled Mine Colony. Time for Wakfu portals.
 
 First thing I'ma do is establish my place in the prison hierachy booty warrior style-by using my Helena's Nail form in kaiju mode, psionics and my stacked charisma to tenderly penetrate everyone in this colony. EVERYONE: The guards, the water mages-even the Sleeper ain't too old and ugly to be raped. Not the sex slaves though, no challenge in that, therefore no boner. Anyways, once I'm good and ready, I'll stroll out-and take the women with me just to show these convicts/that eldritch abomination who's top dog here.
 
 But I digress.
 
 Age 24, Drop-In.
 
 Digger (1450). Oh Gurren Lagann jump, I'll be thinking of you right about now
 Blessing of Innos and Blessing of Beliar (250). I'm interpreting this as Innos deciding that the forceful submission of those convicts ultimately promoted justice and order significantly, while Beliar is rolling around laughing somewhere. Meanwhile Adanos just facepalms metaphysically and mutters about kids these days.
 Staff of Power (0). This staff has "don't drop the soap" written on it, and is distressingly phallic.
 
 Objectives:
 -Hit the library, start learning about magic mostly out of curiosity
 -Try to get an audience with either of my divine patrons. Offer to interview both, to further human-deity relations
 -Introduce the concepts of electricity, running water and mass effect fields to society; Innos will see this as furthering social progress and Beliar will see unprecedented oppurtunities for destruction
 
 ====================================
 
 [Full Metal Panic]
 Drawbacks: Bounty, Paranoid and Fumoffu (1300). Those last two will interact hilariously; I see a naked guy in a horse mask sauntering that the road, assume he's an enemy spy and beat him into the ground, screaming questions at him; meanwhile people around me start to applaud
 
 Rolled Afghanistan. No one cared who I was until I put on the mask!
 
 Age 18, Mercenary. A masked man (1200). I shall established a reputation for terrifying efficiency and pure professionalism while amassing resources and loyal hired guns. what do you mean I can just Implosion on everything fuck you brain I'm having fun
 
 Scavenging (Free). Your precious scrap metal, gratefully accepted!
 Stress Points (900). Engineering and robotics are powerful weapons to the unintiated. But we are initiated, aren't we Sagara?
 
 M9 Gernsback (700). Let's not stand on ceremony here, Mr Sousuke
 Lambda Driver (100). Ah, you think physics is your ally?
 Advanced Fire Control System (0). Peace has cost you your strength! Victory has defeated you!
 
 Anyhow, I plan to tear down and subvert terrorist organizations-so they can be rebuilt as a covert nation-state under my guidance. I'm going to cement my organization's strength by outmaneuvering and pummeling one of the protagonists publically, and when their faction is ashes, they will have my permission to die. Phase 2 will involve getting captured as part of my plan and taken to my most powerful rival to be interrogated, where I will break out in a daring escape and tear down their headquarters with no survivors
 
 ====================================
 
 [The Walking Dead]
 Drawbacks: Special Infected, Unprepared (700). And uh, that's it really.
 
 Transceiver (Free). I'm going to try to charm the other person into telling more about themself with my lovely singing voice
 
 Infection Immune Human, Age 24 (500). NOPEing away all the pathogens again
 
 Police. And the funny thing is, thanks to some previous perks I have some deep contacts with the criminal scum here.
 
 Bootlegger (400). Might B useful for trade
 
 We Are Survivors (0).
 
 Not much of a choose your own adventure when my adventure's pretty much set out for me, but that's just my opinion. At least I get to bring along friends to hang out with. Might as well put down companion loadout to make this more of a choice game:
 
 Natasha Volkova (Red Alert). KGB black ops /before/ her augs, and may or may not have some contacts with what's left of the Soviet Union
 
 Adjective Girl (DC Sidekick). Peak human athletics and crime-fighting experience? Check. Experience with urban warfare and makeshift gadgets also a nice plus
 
 Killer (Shadowrun Ace). Knows her way around fighting against the odds.
 
 The Imaginary Friend (Sims): Because I'm genuinely curious what the entity looks like in human form
 
 ====================================
 
 [Mega Man Battle Net]
 
 Before I pick anything, I just want to clarify that in any Mega Man jump I go to it can be assumed that I will be continuously humming Protomen and The Megas songs under my breath, all the time.
 
 ...this is the first time almost NONE of the drawbacks have been worth their CP. Yikes.
 
 Drawback: /d/ internet (1100)
 
 Rolled Russia. Huh, the Motherland's really going to owe me one by the end of this jumpchain
 
 Hacker NAVI (1000). I've got some good memories and some bad of the Mega Man universe. Cue the Protoman avatar's glorious return
 
 Special Offer (700). It seems oddly appropriate Natasha gets to operate me, given I keep rolling Russia
 
 System Infiltration (free). This is a sneaking mission!
 Data Weaponry (400). Sounds fun, and probably really powerful given what I've been through
 Trap Chips (250). And you've activated them, generic villain of the week!
 Virus Creation (100). For more fun times
 Cool Emblem (Free). My broken helmet. That's all the emblem I need
 Battle Intuition (0). Just in case
 
 25000 Zenny (Free). Dosh get!
 iPet Touch (Free). ...oh boy.
 
 I'm not too familiar with the setting, but given my operator's background I'm probably going to be sealed away from the real world fighting American firewalls a lot. I'm mostly okay with this.
 
 Although I dread to think what my /other 7/ companions are getting up to without me being there to supervise them
 
 ====================================
 
 [Digimon]
 
 Drawbacks: Ultimate Trio, Glitch, Unhealthy Attraction, Annoying Tag-Along (1800). No immortality clause means someone's getting ganked real quick. As for the rest, it just adds flavor to my journey. The flavor of dead, virus-infected, pixel-bleeding Digimon in the case of the Trio.
 
 Rolled: The Folder Continent. Gotta C-oh wait no, I'm just here to level up
 
 Rolled Tamers. I have no idea what that means
 
 Drop-In, Age 14. Don't worry data god things, I don't really feel like destroying the world today. It's...too weird
 
 No, I don't want a Digimon. I already have a Pokemon. It's not the same, dammit!
 
 Whip (1700). Heh, discipline...
 Power Lock Wrist Brace (Thrown into the trash). Sorry, I'm really not feeling this place either
 Spending all my other CP on bits, which leaves me with-
 
 ...
 
 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK
 
 If I haven't made this clear already, my memories of Digimon are /very/ unclear and mostly in a Chinese dub, to the point of only really remembering Agumon, that one girl who could turn into Angelmon(?), Ranaman for being lewd and something called VampirewithasecondfacehiddeninitsstomachMon which may or may not be my 8 year old mind trying to make sense of Japanese animation.
 
 I'm mostly going to treat this as a vacation jump, sightseeing, following the protagonists around and politely clapping at their battles.
 
 ====================================
 
 [Final Fantasy Tactics]
 
 Drawbacks: Marche to the Sea (1600). What an inconsiderate young man. Just for being such a pretentious cliche of an anime villain, I'm going to straight up beat him into the ground, no fancy tricks. WHO'S REAL NOW YOU FUCKING FAGGOT
 
 Rolled Gria, Male (1550). Easy come, easy go
 
 Knight (1350). Oi, I didn't vote for this king! I say we start an anarcho-syndaclist commune where every-get your hands off me you plebian guards!
 
 Strike Back (Free). Alright, a basic parry. I'm okay with this
 Magick Counter (1250). Wow, if this carries over I'm going to be every wizard's nightmare
 Critical Evasion (1150). /Too fast for that!/
 Protection (950). I sure feel protected
 Ribbon Bearer (700). No more status effects!
 Judge Not (300). I...huh. Half a second is quite a long time when you have Time Alter, Quicksilver Style, Deja Fu /and/ Madoka Time Stop...
 Clan Boss (150). I shall lead the Jump-Clan. I shall teach them the ancient, forbidden technique of saying 'Ni'
 
 Going with the time mage. HOPE YOU LIKE COSMIC HORROR, BUDDY!
 
 Hero Medal (50). Apparently there are /magical lawyers/ in this setting. That's terrifying
 Gil (0). More monies!
 
 I shall lead my clan on an epic quest to punt a lunatic into the ground, while relentlessly grilling them on the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
 
 ====================================
 
 [Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones]
 
 Drawbacks: Duessel's Lance, Demon King's Ire (1600).
 
 Uh, Demon King? You kinda fucked up there. First off, I barely sleep. And putting aside the /centuries/ of trust and cooperation between me and my companions on top of constant exposure to charisma perks and hot dickings, not only am I used to both working under mind-warping drawbacks-but one of my darkest desires involves YOU. Yes, you handsome
 
 Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The choice is yours
 
 Rolled Lagdou Ruins (1600). Fomooooortiiiis, come out and plaaaay~
 
 Drop-In, Age 25. I don't want to be a native here for some reason
 
 Second Skin (1300)
 Great Shield (900)
 Goddess Icon (850). She's kinda pretty, I guess. But not nearly as pretty as my future sheath Demon king-chan...
 Talisman (750). Always wear protection, hehehe
 Slayer (550). DON'T MAKE ME WRECK THAT BOOTY FOMORTIIS
 Intimidating (150). Now, now! DON'T BE SHY!
 SPIRITED (50). Willpower get!
 
 Alas, I'll probably have to conceal my noble quest under some "save the world" excuse or something. Heavy risk...but the prize
 
 ====================================
 
 [Command and Conquer: Tiberium]
 
 Drawbacks: Scrin Beacon, Tiberium Seed (1600). I'm assuming the Scrin want to abduct me for my delicious, delicious Tiberium secretions
 
 Rolled Yellow Zone.
 
 Brotherhood of Nod (1500). GDI are dicks, mutants are hobos and I'm getting way too powerful for Drop-In. Might as well leverage my talents to help Nod rise to prominence-and incidentally get some intel on Kane's deal with Jump-Chan. Given my...condition, I'm expecting to be given a lot of solo missions
 
 Tiberium Resistant (1300). As a side project, further integrate my biology to be rejuvenated by Tiberium
 Tactical Genius (1100). Suddenly midgets all over the enemy headquarters
 Commando (Free). Nice!
 Tiberium Adept (900). This will greatly help my efforts to integrate Tiberium into my increasingly bizarre biology
 Silo King (500). Never lose track of my funds again
 Tiberium Stockpile (200). For reasons...
 Rocket Launcher (Free)
 GD-2 Rifle (Free)
 Black Hand Armor (0)
 
 Kane is a smart guy. Once I've made clear I'm down with the Nodbros, he'll see the propaganda value in having an indestructible, hypercompetant soldier among his elite guard. But by and large my Black Hand gear is there for show and we both know it; I'm going to be sent to secure targets the GDI would never expect Nod to hit, lead the Scrin on a merry race around the world and sow the GDI's territories with low-level Tiberium exposure to further discredit them, while Nod steps in and fixes everything. In exchange I'm hoping to get in on Nod's research and see if I can learn anything interesting from Kane himself
 
 ====================================
 
 [Bleach]
 
 Drawbacks: Mind=Blown, Star-Crossed, Hollow Target (1600). Cue quadruple-cross fiasco that ends with a building burning down and my sweet baboo revealing she was trying to protect me all along
 
 Soul Reaper, Age 16 (1500). Time to reap souls, or whatever it is my job entails
 
 Keikaku Despair (Free). DESPAIR FOR EVERYONE
 Minions (1000)
 Spirit Power (600)
 GIfted (400)
 
 Manifesting my buddy as a nodachi since thanks to DS binging I'm HUEG. If it starts any shit with me, my Stand's going to give it a technical tap (read: whack it against a wall until it behaves)
 
 Sword Form (Free). A manticore with a bowtie
 Empowerment (200). Considering what my other abilities are, this is terrifyingly powerful
 Unconventional weapon (100). Brass knuckles
 
 Suppresion Cloak (50). For stealth missions
 Ejector (0). That's a neat trick
 
 ====================================
 
 [Alien]
 
 Interesting options. I'll go with option 4: If it bleeds, I can kill it
 
 Drawbacks: Direct Attack, Grand Royale (1600). Even with my power nerfed, I only need 10 seconds to wipe the floor with the average xenomorph. A Queenw will only be moderately more difficult
 
 Communications. Gotta keep my people alive, if only because they're more useful alive than alien chow
 
 Radio Operator (Free). "ERRBODY LYNCH STEVE, HE'S INFECTED"
 Backdoor Access (1400). Kinda redundant with all my hacking perks, but presumably suited to the local networks
 Direct Commands (1000). For better or worse, I'm in charge here!
 Leadership (800). Just keep calm and listen to my soothing voice, everyone...
 
 Stocked Kitchen (600). Gotta secure this place first
 Headset (Free)
 Access Key (550)
 Spare Parts (350)
 Scanner (50)
 Wielding Torch (0)
 
 In a stunning and controversial twist, it turns out that Communications Officer Anon was a mysterious posthuman entity all along. Moviegoers and reviewers alike walk out in disgust, giving Alien: Jumpchain a 3/10 on Rotten Tamotoes and calling it "the most retarded, pseudo-philisophical plot since Prometheus"
 
 ====================================
 
 [CATastrophe]
 
 Drawbacks: More Animal Like, Animal Behaviour, Ditzy (1600). Hilarity ensures
 
 Rolled Boat. We on a boat now
 
 Drop-In, Age 17.
 
 Rolled Kitsumimi. Oh dear, it's going to be like Alien Jump, except now I'm the stealthy monster ruining everyone's lives
 
 Earless Herald (800). For reading words and stuff
 Clever as a Fox (Free). Cue villainous laughter
 Strong as a Bear (600). And now I'm a buff fox-Joker. Wonderful
 
 Boat+Advanced Earless Tech (0). To carry out naval atrocities in style
 
 ====================================
 
 [Slice of Life]
 
 Can we choose which anime stereotypes my close friends embody? If so, I'm going with
 
 >Lewd school president-chan
 >Tomboyish shounen protagonist-chan
 >Kuudere ojousama who is secretly yandere
 
 Extravagant (700). Is this how it feels to be Satsuki /all the time?/
 Chivalrous Pervert (100). The best kind of pervert
 Rock (0). Between this and the other two perks, that's...actually quite a solid boost to my overall charisma. Not bad for a jump about being stuck in a moe harem animu.
 
 In fact, if I'm reading Background Character right the implication seems to be that interesting stuff /will/ happen. Time to start training my battle-harem to fight crime and stuff
 
 ====================================
 
 [Sengoku Basara]
 
 Drawbacks: Victory Condition, ORE WA MUTEKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (1600). Extra I's intentional, I'm at the stage where /I am more than capable of backing up this claim/ so I'm assuming it will hit me extra hard.
 
 Rolled: Oda.
 
 ...my Sengoku Basara lore is slightly worse than my Naruto lore, but I am dimly aware this is a pretty bad thing to roll.
 
 Age 25, and going with...Ronin (1500). Kinda tired of being a ninja after all that Naruto thinking
 
 Hot Blooded (Free). Huh, apparently Jump-Chan really likes turning me into Augus
 Lone Warrior (Free). Good grief, I almost pity anyone who catches me on my own
 Quick Draw Slash (1200). With my horrifying cosmic power of my custom sword, this is very much an excellent perk
 Whirling Blade (1000). See above
 Thieves and Beggers (600). Useful for infiltration purposes and generally blindsiding honorable samurai
 Bravado (400). Welp.
 
 Saika Contacts (0). Don't know who those are, but they sound useful
 
 >Victory condition
 >Conquer Japan
-# of jumps: 123
+
 what
 
 ...I sure hope my clan's open-minded to Anon Nobunaga suddenly expelling armies of midgets and magical girls on the battlefield
 
 ====================================
 
 [Team Fortress 2]
 
 Red Team, Age 24, Techie (1300)
 
 Distinguised Rogue (1200). GENTLELADIES
 Practical Problem Solver (1050). The best kind
 Doctor's Assistance (750). It's part of the job, after all
 Eureka Effect (Free). For making /even wackier/ breakthroughs in this universe
 Construction and Destruction PDAs (600). Hacking this in anticipation for that jump with all the problem towers. NOOOOOOOOOOOK
 Unusual Crate of Hats (400). The most precious resource in this world, second only to
 Bar of AustraliumX2 (300). Which I have, after some debate, decided to eat
 Self-Aware Beauty Mark (200). Psychological warfare has never been so convenient
 Enemy Briefcase (100). Who knows what sort of secrets might be hidden in it...
 Bar of AustraliumX2 (0). Setting aside some more of the substance for scientific purposes.
 
 I'm hoping to integrate Australium into my biology. While it's unlikely to happen during my stay here, I wish to become the Perfect Australian, which is like the Perfect Life Form but with more chest hair.
 
 ====================================
 
 # of jumps: 124
 
 General characteristics of my Jumper:
 
 -Transcend humanity. Specifically, become something eternal and separate from the cycle of life and death imbued with more potential than any baseline human without taking traditional monster weaknesses like sunlight
 -Get blueprints/models for EVERYTHING. I want to know how technology of all sorts work so I can take it apart-and build something that works even better. Save them all on a homebrew data network I can update/leave helpful reminders for my non-drop-in incarnations
 -Always find an excuse to throw midgets at people. It will never stop being funny
 -Be the MANLIEST Elder God in the jumpchain. I want to be able to raise armies through sheer force of will, and have the grit to spit in the eyes of bonafide gods-and make them cower. Keep training even after I officially am empowered by divine blood so I don’t get complacent, always remember to constantly improve
 -Become the best chef in the jumpchain
 
 Project Mundus: AKA Requiem for Magical Realm CYOA
 
 Simply put, I want to build a universe. A portable universe I can cause to manifest around me whenever I want, in true eldritch abomination fashion. A universe where my will dictates all possibility, and where I am the only cosmic constant. It won’t be easy, and I doubt anyone will see the difference apart from my Reality marble becoming slightly more hazardous to opponents-but it’s what I want to do with my time. Listing some components assembled thus far:
 
 -Reality Marble: The foundation. At present, the main limitation is its high power consumption. Currently experimenting with manipulating it, and trying to see if I can improve it by improving myself
 -Stand (Judas Priest): The cornerstone. It expresses my fighting spirit, and has…interesting…effects used in conjunction with my Reality Marble.
 -Territory: My tools. The ability to shape space and time will hopefully enable me to customize my RM more creatively, although there’ve been mixed results in getting the changes to stick
 -Geneforge: While not directly influencing the new universe (Neoniverse?), if the RM reflects me, then surely continuing to evolve through it will open up new avenues of development in my magical realm
 -Book of Thoth: Numerous mythologies indicate the gods somehow hold sway over various portions of the natural world. If I can figure out how to create miracles the same way gods can, perhaps I can realize phenomena themed around my inner world
 -Dark Magic+Souls+Geneforge Necromancy: Depending on how Dark Souls metaphysics interact with an RM, there is a small possibility I can fill my internal world with life. Not holding my breath though…
 -Malleable Reality: My realm just got a little easier to change, and sticks around a little longer. Progress is good.
 -Words Hold Power+Of Destiny Born+King’s Wisdom:  Thanks to my trial in Ragnarok, I now have the ability to selectively hack reality. Combined with my attempts to create a Grand Unified Language of Magic, and I can get all Eru Illuvater in this motherfucker
 -Mysterious Being: My obsessions with creating a new universe and becoming an entity free of all limits presumably comes with a boon for reality warping
 -HP Magic+Gift of the Thousand Master+Reinforcement: Nothing fancy, but perhaps I can shore up the ol’ firmament, make some extra space in here and build some new stuff with this
 -Imagine Breaker: On the off chance I want to erase anything created in my world, this is what that is for
 -The Art: To add appropriate ambiance, of course
 
 The Midgets
 
 What started off as a funny gimmick has rapidly escalated to the point of being a cosmic threat on every world these things set foot on. The earliest of these entities started out as automatons created by Smithy’s Army, or mutated humans abducted from Borderlands. It matters not; their organic and mechanical components are almost indistinguishable at this point and they lack individual sentience. Below is a by no means conclusive list of augmentations for these throwing weapons of mass destruction.
 
 -Seeds of Wrath (Command and Conquer: Tiberium+Starcraft): Within the warehouse is a hermetically sealed fleshy tree grown in a Tiberium field, releasing the substance in its natural form. With care, bulbs can be extracted from this tree and implanted into a canister within the midgets’ chest cavity. This cavity also contains a miniaturized refinery derived from Nod research; after 2 hours of incubating the sample each midget can release a splash of liquid Tiberium over approximately 20 square meters that instantly solidifies into its crystal form
 
 -Orichalcum plating (Mysterious Cities of Gold+Age of Mythology): The metallic endoskeleton and exoskeleton of each midget is largely composed of an alloy from two types of Orichalcum bearing similar elemental compositions. The net effect is a metal much stronger than steel, light enough that midgets are capable of swimming through deep water and that enables them to recharge their onboard systems through solar power. Most importantly, the properties of orichalcum enable midgets to quickly repair damaged midgets as long as 60% of the original midget’s matter remains intact. Memo: Improve efficiency of energy transmission
 
 -Retractable Stalk (Doctor Who): Each midget has an in-built high energy weapon extending from their forehead. While the properties of dalekenium and dalek energy sources have proven impossible to replicate due to the circumstance of DW jump, blueprints enable the creation of a weapon drawing power directly from the energy core within midgets, which uses a sophisticated targeting system to fire at an incredible rate with pinpoint position; all midget craniums have been improved to attain 360 degrees of rotation. Events during the Mass Effect indicated that only [REDACTED] shots were needed for a dozen midgets to neutralize a Reaper destroyer.
 
 -Pseudo-T-Cog (Transformers): Given that midgets are small, the ability to transform into a realistically proportioned jet was deemed too cost-intensive to implement in the production line as a whole. Instead, this modified T-Cog not only enables the midgets to materialize inbuilt weaponry, but gradually improves or replaces said weaponry based on analysis of combat data and directives.  ADDENDUM: Alpha testing for sizeforming jet-midgets has commenced, midget fusion and more versatile shapeshifting has commenced
 
 -Integrity Protecting Protocol (Dragon Age+Harry Potter+Warcraft+Type-MOON+Elder Scrolls+Dresden Files+LOTR+Dark Sun+Mahou Sensei Negima+Ravenloft+Bleach+Viking Jump+Mega Man X): This is less a single boon and more a complex series of enchantments sustained by a complex lyrium inscription incased in metal.  To cut a long story short, my midgets reduce the effect of oncoming magic and kiai anywhere between 50-90% and gain a little energy from each impact. An arcane protocol also enables them to overclock their systems, effectively a system resembling the 8 Gates that effectively doubles their powers with each surge at the cost of increasing hardware corrosion, with the 8th “gate” causing the midget to detonate in a magical nuke. The protocal’s secondary function enables acquired magical energy to charge projectile weapons. Also provides various improvements to their physical capabilities and effectively grants them unlimited ammunition
 
 -Super Reinforcement (FMA+Soul Calibur+Type-MOON): Everything works better. Everything. With the incorporation of two schools of alchemy, this is an immense boon to overall durability and efficiency.
 
 -Prion Infusion (Resident Evil+Geneforge+Kill La Kill): The problem with mechanical parts is that they’re static, prone to rust and jamming at inconvenient moments. Not so with the TALOS virus: An infection that forms a symbiotic relationship with the midgets’ metallic compounds that slowly makes causes metal to take on fleshy aspects. Damaged components regenerate or seal themselves, circuits are insulated with machine-flesh against EMPs, detached components can regrow into more complex implements-the list goes on. Moreover, midgets are capable of exuding dormant life fibers in spools of sticky spider-like webbing or monofilament wires; the accumulated life fibers have also synchronized the midgets’ insensate central processing units-a collective unconsciousness, if you will-greatly improving group tactics and coordination.
 
 -Righthandium (Raildex): At present, the properties of Imagine Breaker are little understood, although consensus holds that it is something more than an ordinary esper ability. The current hypothesis is that an energy field is emitted from the right hand storing this power, like a wifi router emitting a signal. However, repeated experimentation has yielded a mass-produced application: As my “right hand” was a right hand-shaped mass of tendrils at the time of receiving Imagine Breaker, isolating, modifying and replicating a single tendril was relatively simple. Each midget is now infused with a property that perfectly pierces supernatural effects, thanks to a biological component growing within them like a redundant nervous system.
 
 -Stasis Core (Wakfu): Thanks to an intimate relationship with Sufokian high command I have acquired a set of schematics related to Stasis energy. Each midget is now equipped with a generator producing energy much more stable and efficient than most forms of cold fusion and in tandem with the pseudo-T-cog can produce at least one weapon harnessing it. The energy apparently embodies the concept of destruction and extinction. At any rate, it’s extremely effective against biological life.
 
 -Nanomachine Repository (Iji): A small fabrication unit releases a strain of Iji-based nanomachines. Apart from cyberwarfare, hologram generation, attack reflection and other functions, the unit enables me to issue patches to the production line via a Warehouse-based network transmitted through an in-built IFF.
 
 -Jetpacks (HALO+Goat Simulator): It's an inbuilt jetpack. It runs on midget poop. A fairly basic modification at this point-but very useful in terms of mobility.  Also doubles as a waste vent.
 
 -Giant Midgets (Dark Souls+Viking Jump): (DATA EXPUNGED)