http://rochester.craigslist.org/wri/4713380973.html
To whom it may concern,

I'm contacting you regarding your Craigslist posting about Novel Wrestling of Rochester, in which you solicited applications from prospective writers.

First, I'd like to explain why I would like to write for your organization. I share your sentiment that conspiracy theory is a rich untapped thematic vein in the world of professional wrestling, and if it's treated with a deft hand, NWoR could offer a product that both delivers satisfying wrestling action and differentiates itself from the rest with compelling, "out there" storytelling.

Second, as you request in the posting, I've come up with a few character ideas, and possible storylines to go with them.

The Illuminati, the secretive organization purported to control the world, especially entertainment media, struck me as a notable omission from your cast of characters. Given the rich mythology around the organization, it would make an excellent basis for a villanous faction, possibly including the following members:
-G-Zay and Queen Bee, analogues of course for hip-hop power couple Jay-Z and Beyonce. They would be the leaders of this faction, acting much as Stephanie McMahon and Hunter Hearst-Helmsley have in WWE's recent Authority faction. They would be power brokers that rarely entered the ring, preferring to work through agents, and when they deigned to enter the squared circle, would be treated with awe and fanfare, their every match a rare and anticipated occurence.
-King West, an analogue for Kanye West, the notoriously moody protege of Jay-Z. This role would be best filled by a high-flying, flashy wrestler, who would flaunt his ability at every opportunity. As well, he would be a chaotic force outside of the ring, interrupting other people's interviews to expound at length about how he is the only wrestler worthy of attention in all of NWoR. Perhaps he could even butt heads with Todd Cruise, with their mutual love of their own voices prompting them to interrupt each other's backstage interviews.
-Madame Agog, a female wrestler or valet with a penchant for outlandish and garish outfits, obviously based on Lady Gaga. Her mannerisms and accouterments could be used either to play psychological mind games with her opponents should she be a wrestler, or distract referees should she act as a valet.
-Perhaps Hollarina could become involved with this faction, either joining them or fending off their demands that they sign over their soul and become their lackey.
-David Dike might also be involved with this faction, either opposing it or supporting it as it clashes with the Evil Reptilian Bankers tag team.

The Four Survivors, based on the four government workers killed in the September 11, 2012 attack on America's diplomatic mission in Benghazi. These would be four masked men, who would gradually begin to interfere in Barry Bizzaro's matches and generally cause him grief. It would be implied that they were trying to exact some sort of revenge, with commentators speculating on possible reasons, until the first promo from this group, where it would be revealed that Barry Bizzaro left them to die in a CIA black site mission gone wrong. Out of respect for the individuals who died, the Survivors would not be unmasked or have their names revealed. They would feud with Barry Bizzaro and the Drones, who would perhaps bring in a Hillary or Bill Clinton analogue to assist them, until all the proverbial marbles would be put on the line at a big event in a 4 on 4 tag team match with Barry Bizzaro, the Bill or Hillary analogue, and the Drones against the survivors, in an elimination tag team match. When the Survivors won, they would destroy Barry Bizzaro's remote and sever his control over the Drones.

Underdark/Novus/any ominous name works, which would be a Private Military Corporation-themed faction in the vein of Blackwater/Academi/Xe. This would be a solidly heel group, doing the dirt even the villains don't feel comfortable doing. They will beat down heroes, they will fix matches, they will do all sorts of nasty things. A fair comparison would be WWE's The Shield, at least in their earliest incarnation under the employ of Paul Heyman. Their leader, Claude Rainey, an analogue for former Vice President Dick Cheney, would be a Million Dollar Man-esque manager, using his corporate holdings to put his thumb on the scales of justice.

Of course, the major obstacle standing in the way of my working for your organization is the fact that I currently live and attend college in Indiana, and have no plans or means to move to Rochester. However, modern technology should make that no issue, as the writing staff would be able to exchange documents via the internet, perhaps even Google Documents.

Have a lovely day,
Niel Jacoby