qwerty: English Paper

English Paper

after reading the grapes of wrath i realized that the characters are a lot like friends i have in real life and they are really cool especially my one friend because he used to be able to see and play mortal kombat but one day he was mowing the lawn and he ran over some dog turd and it flew into his eye and he was like ah wtf is this and tried to wipe it out but that only made it worse and it eventually got infected and he went blind now he needs a seeing eye dog to go places and i can easily kick his ass at mortal kombat and its really ironic lol my friend bought perfect dark and he went to return it one day but on the way to eb games he was rear ended and the guy who hit him got out and was like wtf dude why did you stop and he was all pissed then they started fighting and the guy pulled out a gun and shot my friend then his car got towed away and i went to the impound and went into his car and got perfect dark out of it and now i can enjoy the game for free lol i asked my health teacher wat semen tasted like and he was like 'john go to the office' so i went to the office and saw my friend on the way there and he was like hay wanna go skip class and go to taco bell so im like sure so we go to his car and he takes me to taco bell and i ordered a taco but it made me sick and i had diarrhea for the rest of the night my friend was gonna go buy a DS but he went into best buy and saw an ipod and bought that instead but then he got mugged on the subway and the guy took his ipod so he filed a police report but the police never did anything so hes really sad he cant listen to music anymore i went to blockbuster to rent schindlers list once but when i got there they were closed so i went into the dairy queen next door and ordered a small sundae and i could only finish half of it but i didnt want to throw it away so i offered it to the people next to me and they are like 'wtf did you do to it dont offer food to my children' and i was like 'wat im just tryin to be nice' and the guy stood up and pushed me and i fell back into a garbage can and got up and left and it really hurt my dignity i remember mongolia from that song 'sugar mongolia' by the grateful dead because my friend used to be a deadhead and go to all their concerts but when jerry garcia died he got really depressed and took too much heroin and died of an overdose and now im really sad that i cant hang out with him anymore because he was cool and used to pay for my food and the food tasted good i know a guy who graduated from UF and hes cool he works at a food store but one time there was a spill on the floor and he went to clean it up but slipped on it and his head cracked on the shelf as he was falling and now hes been in a coma for 5 years and i cant talk to him because he isnt awake my friend tyrone that used to sell me some of his products used to carry them in a really cool backpack and i was about to ask him where he got his backpack but the cops drove by and they got out of the car and ran after us and a cop chased me down an ally and i wasnt fast enough so he caught me and brought me to his patrol car and was like 'why did you run' and i was like 'because ur scary' and he searched me and let me go i was playing golf once at the driving range and i didnt know how to hit it right so i hit the ball but it went sideways and hit this really big muscular black guy and he looked at me really angrily so i got scared and took the rest of my balls and went to leave but when i went to return the rest of my balls and they were like sorry u cant return balls so i was like ok then can i buy some gum and hes like sure so i bought some and it was good lol my friend likes napoleon dynamite and he also likes to drive his ford bronco but hes not a very good driver and one day he was doing a sharp turn and the bronco flipped over but he wasnt hurt because he had his seat belt on but insurance didnt give him much money for the bronco so he has to take the bus now and he doesnt like the bus because there are loud black women on it my friend quit college when 9/11 happened so he could join the marines and fight but 2 weeks into training the marines said he wouldnt be able to continue because of some problem with his back so he joined college again but he missed half a year and is kinda pissed because the marines screwed him over i did that once in a ford focus because my mom got it as a rent-a-car while her other car was being fixed and i kept doing it but the knob fell off and the car company made us pay $50 for it and she took it out of my account without telling me so when i went to buy lunch the next day they declined my debit card and i was really embarrassed because they already made my sandwich and i couldnt pay for it so i ran out of there as fast as i could i remember that one because it had a frog in it and i like frogs because one time i was walking down my driveway at night and saw a frog so i brought him to my friends house to show him but his mom answered and she doesnt like me because she thinks i do drugs so she told me to get the hell away from the house so i was angry and threw the frog inside and she said she was gonna call the police so i ran away but she knew where i lived because she lives nextdoor so the police came anyway and told me not to throw frogs into peoples houses anymore my grandma used to smoke but she got lung cancer and died and my grandpa gave me her car and its cool its a 2001 altima but i only got to drive it for a week because i ran a red light in it and got broadsided by a truck and the car was totaled and the guy that hit me fractured his neck my friend kenneth has imaginary friends but its because he likes to smoke pot and one time he thought his imaginary friends were trying to kill him so he ran outside freaking out but forgot he didnt have clothes on and he lives in an apartment complex so the neighbors called the police and he was arrested for nude conduct or something and had to spend the night in jail wearing clothes the police gave him and they were out of style i know a guy that works at best buy and he used to work at mcdonalds and i went to mcdonalds once to get a milkshake but they didnt have milkshakes so i was like 'cant you just give me some melted ice cream' and some lady behind me was like 'order something or get out of the way' so i ordered a soda and threw it in her face but there was still some left and i drank it and it tasted like justice i used to watch VH1 but the cable guy came and saw that we had an illegal box and he took it with him so now we only have antenna tv and once i saw judge judy was on fox so i watched it but it wasnt that entertaining so i went to shut the tv off but tripped over the table and broke my leg i dont watch VH1 anymore i ordered lasagna at the olive garden but their breadsticks were so good that i was full before the lasagna came so i asked if i could get it wrapped and they wrapped it but i forgot it was in the fridge and my dad found it 2 months later and ate some and got really sick so he had to take some time off from work and we couldnt go on vacation and i really wanted to go because we were gonna go to cape cod and cape cod is cool because there are hermit crabs on the beach and they tickle i saw a goth at the mall and he was standing near antie anne's pretzel store so i got a pretzel there and it was really good but i needed something to wash it down so i got some lemonade and it was very refreshing until i spilled it in radio shack and they got pissed because radio shack has carpet and it was gonna smell like lemonade but i didnt care because radio shack sold me a universial remote that didnt work with the dvd player they sold me i was on the subway once and a fat guy got on and took up 2 seats but that isnt allowed in new york city and a security guy came by and was like 'sir you are gonna have to stand' so he stood and we hit chinatown and like 50 jackie chans got on and started speaking chinese and i got scared so i got off at the next stop and walked but got tired so i took a cab and the cab driver was chinese too so i got out right away and bought a pretzel from some arab guy on the corner, then i saw the same guy on the next 5 corners and was like wtf a glitch in the matrix this reminds me of a paper i had to write for english i didnt know wat to write so i copied martin luther king's speech and put it in font size 2 and printed it out and my teacher said it was way too small to read so i got a day's extension on the project but the next day i cut that class and hung out with my friends at the gym but the next day the teacher found out i cut and i got sent to ID which stands for internal detention where you just have to sit in a room for 8 hours and you arent allowed to sleep and it was really boring and i was the only white kid in there so i pretended i was spanish and the spanish kid in there told everyone i wasnt really speaking spanish so they were angry at me and i had to hide from them until i got my haircut so they wouldnt recognize me and when i got my hair cut the lady cut it too short and my dad said i looked like a white supremacist so i wore hats until my hair grew back but once someone saw me wearing a yankees hat and he was a boston fan so he started fighting with me so i took my hat off and he was like oh ok you can go i used to think a&w root beer was owned by bmw and the other day i saw a guy driving a bmw and he was going really fast and i was like wow hes going fast but wasnt paying attention and accidentally cut some lady off and she looked really angry so i pulled over to let her pass me and cut her off again thats what she gets for being angry at me i remember when TLC was a r&b band with 3 ugly singers and i was like man these chicks suck but someone was like 'you only think they suck because they are black' and i was like 'thats not true im not racist' but he didnt believe me so i took him to see how stella got her groove back and laughed at every joke to prove to him that i'm alright with black people i knew a guy named miguel he was cool he drove a low rider but one night he went to a low rider party and got in a knife fight with some guy and now his face is really cut up and hes not as cool any more but thats ok because he drove a low rider and i like that song 'low rider' by war because i heard it on the classic rock radio station the other day and was like oh man this is cool lol my friend used to say hmmmmmm but one time he said it at a party and a guy was like 'wtf are u making fun of me' and hes like 'no' but the guy started pushing him so he fought back but didnt realize that the guy just likes to start fights because he knows karate and the guy threw him through a window and he landed on some rocks now hes paralyzed from the legs down and doesnt say hmmmm anymore i was making a wastebasket shot once but i missed and hit the deaf girl that sits in the front row and she started doing sign language stuff at me and i didnt know if she was insulting me or not so i gave her the finger and everyone was like dude you are an ass but i didnt care because deaf people creep me out with their earpieces because they make me think they are really just fbi agents waiting for the right moment to arrest me i knew a guy killed by a machine and it was actually quite ironic because he just got back from iraq and all he wanted was a cigarette so he went to get one from the cig machine but it was stuck so he shook the machine and it fell on him and killed him so that really is proof that smoking is deadly unless you are smoking pot because thats not really deadly and you dont have the risk of being crushed by a machine unless you get thirsty and want a coke and it gets jammed but i dont get thirsty my mom got a letter in the mail once that said i had 1 week to pay my unpaid parking tickets or a warrant would be issued for my arrest so i asked her if i could move to mexico and she got really angry and said no so i got angry and went out and bought maracas and a fiesta hat and came back and started doing mexican dances around her but then i realized i was gonna be arrested in a week if i didnt come up with $320 so i took a job at blockbuster but i dont like it there i like to make sandwiches but last week i ran out of bread so i went to the grocery store to buy more bread but i couldnt find it so i went to sam ash instead and i bought an acoustic guitar and now i write songs to express my longing desire for sandwiches i used to have a nintendo and a dog but when my mom got pregnant the dog would take craps all over the house so we gave him to the spca and he had to be put to sleep and i was sad so i sold my nintendo hoping to get enough money to buy another dog but i only got $25 so i used it to buy a bunch of magnetic wands and now i use the magnetic wands to jab people who are wearing earrings and slightly annoy them your post reminds me of korean people because once i went to korea town to buy fireworks and some korean was like 'no firework only chinese firework' and i was confused so i was like 'me no speak korean' and he got angry and starts yelling in korean at me and im like 'dude i just told you i dont speak korean wtf' but he kept yelling so i got in a cab and took it back to downtown where people actually speak english and it was quite refreshing i like to drive past golf courses and yell 'FORE!' but once they got mad at me and hit golf balls at my car and one shattered my back window so i came back later that day and shot up the golf course with my paintball gun but i didnt hit anyone and still had to pay $200 to get my window fixed and ever since that day i hate golfers and i wont even watch happy gilmore i used to live near a farm and there were sheep there and i was like cool there are sheep over there but i soon realized that sheep are very loud and annoying at night and one night i couldnt take it anymore so i decided to go to dicks' sporting goods to buy a shotgun and kill those sheep but when i was at dicks i saw they had a sale on footballs so i bought 10 footballs and now i have 10 footballs when i only really need one but im gonna try to sell the footballs on ebay i went to see war of the worlds but it was sold out so i went to blockbuster to rent war of the worlds but they were like 'dude its still in theaters' so i rented the big lebowski and really enjoyed it but i accidentally kept it for 2 weeks and apparently blockbuster charges you for the movie even though they promised they wouldnt have any more late fees so i decided to give them a late fee of my own and i took a dump and put it in the return movie slot i decided to take an honors class once and the second day i didnt do my homework and asked if i could hand it in the next day and the teacher was like 'no this is honors, we expect better' so i went to the counselor to drop the class but while i was waiting in the office i saw they had free drivers ed booklets so i took fifty of them and ran around the school throwing them everywhere but the vice principal caught me and i got detention after school but it was cool because the teacher who served my detention let me eat some of his salad because he wasnt hungry anymore and i was happy because salads are healthy and delicious i used to watch unsolved mysteries on some channel but i realized that the channel was for women so i was like wtf i need to do something manly to make up for this so i decided to go deer hunting but i couldnt find any deer hunting places so i just bought a paintball gun and walked around the nearest park shooting birds and it made me feel awesome until some old lady came up to me and lectured me no but i went to a george thorogood concert to hear him play 'bad to the bone' so i could sing 'bad to the boner' but his concert was so loud that i had to leave before he got through his first song which was one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer but the song inspired me so i went to a bar to get some drinks but they were like 'you arent 21' so i was like 'you arent cool' and left i needed to get some bedsheets today because when i was getting out of bed i tripped and fell and because im on a bunk bed i fell really far but the sheet was wrapped around my foot so it tore when i fell so i went to wallmart to buy a sheet and as i was about to walk in i saw my friend outside and hes like 'hey wanna go see a movie' so im like 'sure' so we go to the movie theater and go to see wedding crashers but the lady at the ticket booth was like 'thats $9 75' and im like 'holy **** lady thats way too much' so i left what a rip-off i bought a bike too once but i dont think it was at walmart but it came with one of those things that measures how fast you go so i wanted to beat my record so i went to a really steep hill and rode my bike down it but i started to lose control and crashed into a mailbox and some guy came over and was like omg are u ok and i was like 'no that really hurt wtf was ur mailbox doing there' and he was like 'that wasnt my mailbox' and i was like '**** you' and got up and punched him in the face but then he called the police and i ran away before they got there but forgot my bike and later i went back to get my bike and it was gone i had a cool mailman when i was little he was really nice to me and talked a lot to my mom and sometimes he would deliver the mail to our front door so he could talk to her even though our mailbox was at the bottom of the driveway but my mom got freaked out so she reported him and he got fired for harassing her and now i think he works at acme and doesnt like his job i was at a restroom once on the jersey turnpike and when i got out i saw a starbucks in the plaza so i went to get a coffee and gave the lady a 5 and she gave me 10 dollars change so i was like 'hey you gave me too much change' and she starts yelling at me in spanish so i took the coffee and the money and left but i spilled the coffee on the way out because the steps are really slippery so i went back to buy another coffee and she started yelling at me in spanish so i just bought a coke at the roy rodgers instead but now roy rodgers is out of business and thats good because they didnt have a really appealing name for a fast food place for 2 weeks i thought i was using shampoo but it turns out that it was my sisters foot rash cream so i went to the doctor to see if my hair would be messed up from it and hes like 'no' but im like 'what if i get foot rash on my head' and hes like 'the foot rash cream prevents foot rash, it doesnt cause it' so i left but on the way out some little kid threw up on me in the waiting room and most of his puke landed on my shoe and his mom was like 'omg im really sorry' and i was like 'yea you should be *****' and everyone got quiet and looked at me so i grabbed a bunch of the free magazines on the table and ran out and read them when i got home but most of them are boring and are about taking care of babies i was driving down the long island expressway once and saw a pigeon flying and it flew right into my windshield and made a smudge on it but when i got out i realized the smudge was really a crack that looked like a smudge but i left the crack there but when the car had to be inspected it failed inspection and they said i needed a new windshield so i sold the car i used to live in a house but my dad got fired so we moved into an apartment and our neighbors played the drums really loud so my dad went over to complain but the guy only spoke arabic so i went over the next day and put a burning american flag by his door and when he opened it he picked it up just as our neighbors walked by and they were like 'wtf u terrorist' and he got kicked out of the apartment i used to order muffins at ihop but they went out of business and now there is a restaurant there with indian people working at it and i cant understand them so i dont leave them tips but once they came after me for not leaving a tip so i ran to my car and drove away but ran a stopsign and a police officer pulled me over and was like 'do you know why i pulled u over' and i was like 'uh because i didnt tip those arabs?' and he gave me a $65 ticket my principal was cool once i got sent to his office for being in a fight and when i went there he was like 'so u got in a fight' and i was like 'yea u want some too *****?' and he suspended me for 5 days but when i was suspended i took a vacation and went to atlantic city but the casino wouldnt let me in because i wasnt 21 so i bought a deck of cards at a store and went back home i found a dictionary once so i tried to sell it to my library but i couldnt find the library so i went into a parking garage and dropped it off the roof but it accidentally landed on some guy's car and dented the roof so i got the hell out of there and went into a quiznos and ordered a sandwich but when they started making it someone called me and told me to meet them because it was important so i was like 'scratch that sandwich lol' and left but they were angry because they already started making it there used to be an owl in my yard that hooted really loud so i bought some bottle rockets and fired them into the trees to scare him away but it was really hot and dry outside and one of the trees caught on fire so i called 911 and the police came and i was like 'wtf are you doing here we need firefighters' and they found the bottle rockets in my backyard and confiscated them and said i was lucky i wasnt charged with arson and i didnt know what arson meant so i went to find a dictionary but instead i found a harry potter book and i read the first 5 pages and gave up on it no but i went to an aquarium in baltimore once and thought fish were cool so i bought some fishing rods but i never got to go fishing with them because i saw a bunch of cows on the way home and i threw my fishing rods at them and they made funny noises when the fishing rods hit them i went to an allman brothers concert once and they had a lot of drums and i was like wow thats a lot of drums and they played the drums but i got thirsty during the drum solo so i went to go find something to drink and the only thing besides beer they had was bottled water for $7 so i was like screw that and asked for some ice and a cup and they gave me the ice and the cup for free and a few hours later it melted and turned into water and i got to enjoy my free beverage thanks to those suckers i thought that said revolution and i remember i went to a revolutionary war reenactment and it was really boring because there werent any airstrikes so i went to best buy to buy platoon on dvd and satisfy my need for airstrikes but they were closed because it was sunday so i went into the barnes and noble next to it because i saw they had cool chairs inside so i sat in one of the chairs for a few hours and it was really comfortable those bottle rocket sticks always get me in trouble so i decided to take the sticks off of the rocket but that didnt work because the rocket just spun around randomly and exploded near our screen window and blew a hole in it so i had to go to the home depot to buy a new screen window but i went to the kitchen lighting isle instead and there were so many light switches there and i kept hitting them on and off and the isle turned into an awesome techno party without the music i bought a book from him because he convinced me that the government owed me millions of dollars but when i got it i was very dissappointed because i hate reading books so i tried to find cliffnotes for it at the book store but while i was there i saw an awesome calendar that had pictures of fighter jets on it so i bought it and now i have a cool calendar in my room and the picture for this month is of a B2 spirit and that plane is awesome i went to some kid's lemonade stand once because i thought he was selling marijuana but he was only selling lemonade and i was really pissed so i bought some of his lemonade and sold it to someone walking by for half price and the kid said he was gonna call the police if i didnt leave so i left but on my way back i found a dead squirrel and its eyes looked like blueberries and it reminded me of that movie called blow with johnny depp that i was gonna see once but i couldnt see it because i wasnt 17 at the time so i went to BJs instead because they have a funny name but i realized they were a wholesale club so i went and bought an industrial size pack of potato chip bags for 10 dollars and sat outside eating the chips and they were really good the last time i went shopping with a girl she was like 'lets go into claires' and i was like 'hell no' so i left her and went to sears and tried to run up the down escalator but i couldnt make it in time so i left and when i got to my car i realized i forgot the girl so i went back to try to find her but i was getting hungry so i left and went to wendys and saw an amusing picture of dave thomas holding a spatula when i drive my car i leave my hazards on and it has me covered for turning both left and right but i was pulled over once and the cop gave me a ticket but i disputed it in traffic court and won and i celebrated my victory by driving through town with my hazzards on and i almost got another ticket my friend used to play zelda but his girlfriend dumped him and he got really depressed and took a lot of sleeping pills and his parents called me and told me i should go talk to him but when i went in his room he was already passed out so i took his copy of zelda and sold it at eb games and they gave me $5 for it and i used the $5 to buy a king-size reeses pack at the 7-11 i wonder if she is related to jackie brown because i went to see that movie because i liked the other movies quentin tarantino wrote but this one completely sucked and i decided to return it but they said that i couldnt return a burned dvd disc so i grabbed the free pencils at the counter and ran off with them and now i can write stuff with the pencils but they are cheap and the tips break a lot so i need a pencil sharpenermy friend told me to watch ultimate fighting so i put it on but like 2 minutes later the cable went out so i called comcast and they wouldnt answer so i decided to drive down to comcast and settle this myself but once i was halfway there i realized i didnt know where it was so i went into a subway instead and ordered a really tasty sandwich and it was really good but i only ate half and i have the other half in my fridge for a later time when i am hungry lol christopher walken was funny with the cowbell skit i liked it when he told that story about hiding the ring up his ass in vietnam in pulp fiction it reminded me of my dad who had a friend that was drafted to vietnam and he got shot in the face and died and they wouldnt give his body back and his mom was really mad at the army but i was like dont be mad at them be mad at charlie i used to like to eat nuts especially when they were in the peanut m&ms because they tasted really good and one time i went to the zoo and i fed some peanut m&ms to the elephant there but i ran out of m&ms and i went to buy more at the zoo store but it was closed so i couldnt feed the elephant anymore and i bet he was really hungry i played metal gear solid 2 a lot and one time my friend asked if he could borrow it so i let him borrow it but later that month his dad got fired and they had to move to ohio and he forgot to give the game back so now i tried to call his house to see if i could get the game back but it was the wrong number it was this guy named mike that sounded funny so i laughed at him and he hung up on me i was watching mortal kombat on TNT the other night and during the commercial i saw an ad for wendys saying their drive thru window was open until 1 am and i was hungry and it was only 12:30 so i drove to wendys but by the time i got there it was 1:10 so i couldnt eat there and i didnt know where else i could buy food so i went to the grocery store and bought a bag of pretzel sticks but i never opened it and i am thinking of returning it i went to a LAN store to play bf2 because it wont run on my computer but they said they didnt set up the network for it yet so i went to the billiards club next door because i didnt know what a billiards club was and it turns out to be a place filled with pool tables but i sucked at pool and lost a bet with some guy and the bet was for ten dollars so i couldnt afford gas that week and it sucked because i had to get a ride from my friend and he drives a crappy ford taurus from 1991 and i dont like being in it i made reservations at a restaurant once but when i got there they said i didnt and id have to wait 45 minutes so while i was waiting i went next door to a drug store and bought a bunch of those toy dart guns and they are really cool because you can shoot them at television screens and they will stick and i like to shoot it at the tv when the empire mattress commercial is on because that song is annoying when i went to shop rite i was looking for the spaghetti that comes in a box and isnt cooked but i couldnt find it so i asked a guy and hes like 'dude i dont work here' so i asked someone else and hes like 'thats on aisle 10' so i went to aisle 10 and found it but by then i wasnt in the mood for it anymore so i went and got chinese food and asked for extra fortune cookies but they charged me another dollar for the fortune cookies and i told myself never to go there again i had a swing in my backyard when i was little and it was the kind that was a tire tied to a really high branch and i liked swinging on it but one day we had a tornado and it knocked the tree down and i couldnt go on my swing anymore so i went to a playground but there were always kids on the swings and i got mad so i went to buy boltcutters at the hardware store to break their swings but when i went there i saw they had a good price on doorknobs so i bought some doorknobs but i have no use for them now i used to wonder why colonel sanders was a colonel but then i realized that he fought in vietnam and saved the lives of thousands of men before retiring to become a fast food manager and fast food is delicious and fast so he has my respect except when the fast food gives me the runs but only mcdonalds does that and its only when i eat their number 6 but they changed the number 6 to a grilled chicken sandwich that doesnt give me the runs lol im glad i have a fan of my literary masterpieces because i write them from the heart and i hope i dont get heart surgery because i know a guy who had heart surgery and he has this scar on his stomach and people are always like 'whats that scar' and he tells them its from a knife fight and knife fights are cool but i wouldnt want to be in a knife fight because getting cut really hurts sometimes like when i was cutting a bagel and the knife went through and stuck into my hand then my dad saw the bagel and thought the blood on it was some kind of sauce and he ate it and if i had aids he would have gotten it but i dont have aids i had a fisher price pool table but when my dad bought a real one he tried to sell our fisher price pool table at a garage sale but nobody came to our garage sale so we threw the pool table out but that night someone came by and picked the pool table up and put it in his truck so i got in my car and followed him because i was pissed he didnt pay for it but after following him for a while i realized i was low on gas so i stopped at the gas station and filled up and when i went inside the guy was arab and i was like 'can i have some gum' and he said something about allah so i paid him and left without any gum i remember in that movie the rock where they steal vx gas rockets and sean connery saves san fransisco and i was like dude dont save san fransisco that city sucks because all the buildings are ugly and earthquake proof and i used to play quake but my dad saw a level where they had people crucified on walls and he said i was too young for the game and took it away but i got it back and played it and found a supernail gun and it was cool because it shot nails i liked mtv when they used to play music videos because there was this one girl with natalie something that i had a crush on and i waited all day to see her video and they didnt play it and i was sad and started crying but my dad got me ice cream to cheer me up and i choked on it because he didnt tell me there was a gumball in the center and i passed out but woke up in the emergency room and they said i was lucky to be alive and i learned my lesson and dont watch mtv anymore she has a southern accent and i dont like it because my dad got laid off once and we went househunting in south carolina and got a lady with a southern accent and every time she said house i thought she said hows and i was like 'hows what' and then my parents said i couldnt ride with the real estate agent anymore so i got to stay at the hotel and it was cool because i got to ride the elevator all day but the elevator didnt have a floor 13 button it went from 12 to 14 so i tried to go to the stairs to get to floor 13 but when i opened the door to the stairs the fire alarm went off 2 years ago my teachers went on strike and it was cool because we didnt have school until october 23rd and i thought it was sweet until i realized they took away my spring break and i liked spring break because i would get to go easter egg hunting at my grandmas house and i would always get all the eggs because i am 17 and my cousins are only 3 and the eggs were always filled with candy and it tasted good i was gonna go into hollister once at the mall but as i was walking towards it some lady standing outside of the chick-fila store offered me a free sample of chicken and it was delicious so i went in to buy more chicken but the line was too long so i left and got food at quiznos instead because their lines are shorter and you get to watch your sub getting toasted right before your eyes and thats really cool my uncle is friends with this midget everyone calls 'little guy' and he got married but i didnt meet his wife until a few weeks ago and it turns out shes a midget too and i started laughing when i saw her but pretended i was choking and then i actually started to choke but someone there knew cpr and he helped me and i asked him where he learned cpr and he said hes a lifeguard so now i am training to be a lifeguard so i can save lives like him because saving lives is cool i have a dog right now and its a papillion and i learned in french class that papillion means butterfly but i hate french class because i specifically requested spanish and they gave me french anyway and we went on this field trip once to some french museum and i was like wtf this place sucks so i went outside and everyone was smoking out there and it made me cough so i decided to drop my french class before i got lung cancer i expected a picture of johnny cash and when i didnt get one i was disappointed so i downloaded some more johnny cash songs and this one is cool because its about him killing his wife and going to jail and it reminded me of when my friend went to jail and i went to go visit him but they said i couldnt see him because he got into a fight and had to be put in a better jail and i was sad but the jail waiting room had a tv and cnn was on and they had a story on the news about a plane crash and it made me not want to ride planes anymore when i was little my parents made me go to religious school and i went but it was dumb because they made us call people for the church so i waited until 3 AM to call the people on the list they gave me and the people complained to the church that i woke them up and they said i didnt have to call people anymore and all my friends who still had to call people asked me how i did it and i was like i'll tell you for 5 bucks so i got 5 bucks and bought a used copy of goldeneye 007 for n64 and that game is fun i remember msn because msnbc used to be on channel 23 but when comcast bought suburban cable msnbc changed to channel 38 and channel 23 turned into the spanish channel and its really funny because its like everyday people in everyday situations except they speak spanish and once this guy on there was eating a taco and it made me want a taco so i went to taco bell but it was closed so i had to drive all the way to wilmington to get to the other taco bell and while i was in wilmington i almost got hit by a firetruck because i forgot to put my headlights on i was driving to work on the highway and there was a hummer behind me and he was gaining on me so i pulled into the right lane and let him pass me but when i was in the right lane my car hit something and the front left tire popped so i pulled over and got out but i dont know how to fix tires so i called AAA and they towed my car and brought it to pep boys and i went to pep boys later that night to pick up my car and the guy at the counter was like 'which car is yours homes' and i didnt know what he meant so i assumed he was insulting me and i was like 'what how dare you call me that' and he looked at me weird and i think he scratched my car slightly but it looks like all the other scratches from when i scraped up against some bushes but still wtf whenever i think of marge i think of margerin and i dont like margerin because that blonde guy from the 'i cant believe its not butter' commercial looks like the terrorist from die hard that gets pissed off when bruce willis kills his brother and wont leave bruce alone and im like cmon man i can see why you are pissed but seriously this guy just wanted to go to a christmas party and you have to harass him like that i used to play marco polo with my friends but they dont play with me anymore because i would always get out of the pool and once someone following my swam right into the wall and chipped his tooth and had to get surgery at the dentist and i dont like the dentist because he always gives me mint flavored toothpaste even though i asked for lemon flavor and the mint flavor makes my donuts taste bad and i always get donuts after going to the dentist because there is a krispy kreme store next to it and i am never down there and in conclusion i feel that grapes of wrath reflects all of us as human beings