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- >Be Anon (and Cadance)
- >Due to a misfired spell, you wound up sharing the same body. You got the higher head, she got the... lower head.
- >It was unbearable for a few days for the both of you, her being frustrated at not being able to go back to her old life, you being frustrated at having a possessed dick.
- >You both were also frustrated for "other reasons"
- >your hand and Cadance quickly became best friends as a result, though it took some effort convincing her that it wasn't cheating anymore
- >But after a few months, the both of you got used to it
- >you went on your daily life, you two talked sometimes (telepathically, somehow), and she got some attention in the morning and the evening
- >but even ridiculous amounts of Vaseline and your hand couldn't sate her forever, as you found out one night as you were conversing over dinner
- >you were making small talk about Twilight's ascension to become a princess in Cadance's absence, when, out of the blue, she asks
- >"Anon, are you ever going to get a girlfriend?"
- >after a spittake and a coughing fit and a ton of her giggles, you finally get the courage to ask her,
- Yeah, eventually, but why does that matter?
- >She hmms for a minute, but then states simply
- >"because hands don't feel great"
- >after a while, her attraction to mares became obvious -- you didn't know how she could stand Shining Armor
- >but you didn't know she was this horny
- >no pun intended
- >even the thought, the scent, the sight of a mare made her go crazy
- >She continued on, though, relentlessly
- >"Hands aren't as satisfying as a mare's pussy though. The texture, the scent, the feelings."
- >"Besides, did you know mares can control every muscle in their vag?"
- >That did it for you, too.
- >It had been a decade since you came to Equestria, and you hadn't gotten any poon here
- >same on Earth, but whatever
- "How do we start?"
- >she purred in your mind, "I wasn't expecting it to be this easy, Anon. I must say... I like it."
- >that didn't sound ominous at all, but at the time you didn't notice anything.
- >"Well, I expect that one of the Elements of Harmony would be willing. Specifically, Pinkie, she... definitely lives up to her name."
- "Really? She's a slut?"
- >well, that did it (hyuk)
- >(the next day)
- >as you were riding the train to Ponyville, you and Cadance made small talk in the car
- >thank God you had telepathy with her, or you'd be sent to an institution
- >but living with a sentient dick that used to be a princess was life for you now, and you didn't think it unusual anymore
- >"Last stop! Ponyville! Now get the fuck out!"
- You quickly gathered yourself and walked out, eyes adjusting to the bright light
- >at least you knew where Sugarcube Corner is.
- >after some walking, you arrive at the front entrance
- >Cadance is already a little excited, but you politely ask her to calm down, and she tries to oblige
- >steadying yourself, you walk in
- >Walking in, you find everything in the usual state it would be on a Saturday morning
- >ponies drinking coffee, eating a morning breakfast pastry
- >Pinkie Pie rushed up to you at near supersonic speeds, hugging you intensely
- >"Oh, Nonny! It's been so long! How's Canterlot been treating you!"
- >you, after a moment of surprise, ruffle Pinkie's hair, causing absolutely no change to its looks
- "Heh, it's going well Pinkie! I just wanted to drop in for a while and chat."
- >a total lie, but stating your true intent would be dumb at this point
- >Pinkies squees slightly and runs off without a word
- >a few seconds later, she runs back
- >"I let the Cakes know that you're here and I'm taking a break for a while!"
- >amazing how this girl doesn't get out of breath
- >this makes everything a bit easier
- >you stop zoning out to find yourself being pulled up the stairs by your arm
- >as Pinkie reaches her room, she invites you in and plops down on her bed
- >you sit down next to her
- >this will be awkward
- >(10 years ago, in Ponyville)
- >be Pinkie
- >you were walking along to Sugarcube Corner one day, looking up to the sky and lightly singng a tune
- >"Have a big dinner, have a light snack
- >If you don't like it, you can't send it back"
- >you didn't even know what you were singing, but you enjoyed it
- >suddenly, there was a flash
- >that's odd, there aren't any clouds nearby and it isn't raining, couldn't be lightning
- >looking up, you see a green and black blur falling from what must be the upper atmosphere
- >your Pinkie Sense kicked in immediately, your head vibrating and your ear tingling, letting you know that whatever was up there could die any minute
- >and he might have three minutes before that happened at best
- >you sprinted as fast as your overcaffeinated legs could take you towards Twilight's house
- >no time to lose
- >you headbutted the door, not even recoiling
- >you didn't even acknowledge the existence of Spike, focusing on your destination
- >you ran upstairs, threw Twilight off the bed with a shriek, took the bed, and ran out the door
- >"What the Celestia just happened!"
- >Twilight ran out the door, maybe a few dozen yards behind you
- >whatever that thing was, it maybe had 10 seconds tops before it met its demise
- >you gathered all your strength and hurled the small mattress overhead, hoping it landed in the right place
- >THUMP
- >with a giant cloud of dust, you ran over, surveying the results
- >and... though quite unconscious and twisted at a weird angle at the legs, the person lying there was certainly alive, breathing quite intensely too
- >Twilight finally caught up with you
- >fucking fat bookhorse, that's what you get for not running or walking anywhere
- >"What in Equestria happened here!"
- >she didn't sound as annoyed, knowing that you may have just saved someone's life, but apparently she needed her coffee
- >you just said, calmly, controlling your anxiety
- >"Twilight, do you have any healing spells?"
- >a few hours later, the person was still out cold, but healed a bit
- >still be Pinkie
- >after you saved Anon, the both of you grew very close
- >not quite in a relationship, but very close friends
- >the two of you could share anything with each other, and you often did
- >he worked for the Cakes with you, earning a living and getting free room and bored
- >he never complained, even when he had to watch the twins for a weekend
- >after a few years, though, he grew restless
- >you were still very close friends, but he was anxious
- >he felt he hadn't achieved very much, and he was upset with himself
- >so this started
- "You're moving to CANTERLOT?!"
- >he had broken the news that he was moving just a few seconds ago
- >you were trying to control yourself, but this was... emotional, to say the least
- >you were working up the courage to let him know how you felt, but that was... unexpected
- >"Yes, Pinkie. I love Ponyville and I enjoy spending time with you, but this is the way it has to be, for my own sake."
- >you couldn't handle this anymore
- "W-well, thanks for letting me know, Anon. See you later."
- >you ran off
- >a few hours later, you were ready
- >you were working up the courage for a while now, but... this was enough
- >you finished writing the letter, put it on your dresser, and leaned back
- >it had been years and you didn't have enough guts
- >you were ready
- >XANAX 2mg
- >Quantity: 90
- >you held the bottle in your hands, weighing your options
- >the Cakes had given these to you a few weeks ago, but you had never used them
- >it had been years since Pinkamena came out, but now she was again, full force
- >dammit, Anon, why did you want to join the Guard?!
- >you had made up your mind
- >you finished the glass of whiskey you held in your hands, took a deep breath and brought the bottle to your lips.
- >then...
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