Day Fooly-Cooly [FlutterRape]

I have to stress, this was not written by me, I was just put in charge of compiling it and posting in a FlutterRape Thread a while back. Thought it should be available to view. Written by various CircleJerk contributors

>Day fooly-cooly in Equestria
>Not the anime
>It was wierd
>No, today is the day you finally get to meet that Princess Celestia twi's been going on about with such reverance
>And you've been asked, strictly, to avoid the foolish behavior you've been known to exhibit
>In other words, you've been forced to leave behind your beloved rubber chicken.
>Ah that rubber chicken
>Your sole companion from the world of man
>You'd taken to calling him ... Dave
>He was your favorite instrument of mayhem, and it helped keep the forces of Flutterrape at bay.
>With his flippy-floppy powers of distraction and defense, no-pony had been able to get their hooves on your goods
>Pinkie was always mesmerized by its rubbery floppiness
>You caught her and Dave together after a couple of bottles of wine
>It was surprisingly sexy
>You are considering letting her take him on a date after you all get back
>And pulling a Fluttershy (Stalking)
>For science of course
>Strictly for science
>Back to the plot
>You've spent the last few days packing your stuff, and now that you're finally ready for the trip, you have some time to kill
>You kill time the same way you kill all your problems
>With copious amounts of liquor
>This has it's benefits and drawbacks
>However, the time gets away from you, and halfway through your second bottle of tequila (with some hot sauce because you're not a pussy) there is a knock at your door
>LET YOUR DRUNKEN WRATH BE UNLEASHED UPON THE TRESPASSER!
>You run to the door
>And instead of opening it [spoiler]like a pussy[/spoiler] you pull your head back and slam into it
“Fuck your shit, door!”
>Because you're just that cool, the door splits in half straight down the middle, and standing there in shock is...
>Apple Bloom
>She will not be spared
>"Uh... Anon... What's goin-"
>You take hold of the amazing yellow mini-mini-horse, and with all of your considerable might, throw her into the great blue oblivion
>You watch as she sails into the distance...
>That's definitely a three-pointer
>"Hey mang, mayhaps you should've asked what she wanted?"
“Shut up, Dave. You're a rubber chicken, you're not suppose to talk”
>Now that you're out of your comfy armchair, you might as well start your drunken rampage.
>You flail your arms as you stagger towards town
>It makes you feel like Godzilla
>You've brought some Pretzels so that you can further this self-illusion by imagining you're eating tree trunks
>Ponies flee in terror from your majestic countenance
>And because you're drunk
>They are smart to do so
>You bellow a tremendous roar to assert your dominance
>The few who freeze in fear are not spared their fate
>Some pony has the audacity to roar back!
>You look around for the foolish equine who has just thrown away their life...
>...It's Fluttershy
>You pick up the foolish flutter flyer, and aim for the nearest blackhole
>"Y-you could wreck my Tokyo any day, Anon..."
>and then some jackass ruined it
>Suddenly, there is a bright light behind you...
>You turn around ready to face the newest challenger, only to see something glorious!
>"Anonymous? You are late for our appointment!"
>Princess Celestia in her divine splendour glares at you
>You are manhandling one of the heroes of destiny.
>You are drunk
>And you are late
"...Tequila was involved.”
>"Anon... You know the punishment for angering me..."
"N-no! I didn't mean it! Please!"
>"Ten hours in the >rape dungeon!"
>Princess Celestia's horn glows with a pearlescent light
>Her magic washes over you
>You find yourself in a room
>Wat do?
>A. Kill yourself faget
>B. Masturbate furiously
>Princess Celestia walks into the dungeon.
>"I've decided that you're in need of something more drastic. Prepare yourself!"
>Princess Celestia's horn shines once more.
>you try to prepare yourself
>You feel your body contort in ways that it was never meant to
>Agonizing pain shoots through every fiber of your being.
>Then as suddenly as it began, it leaves
>It's oddly [spoiler]ERAHTIK[/spoiler]
"W-what have you done to me...?"
>You look at your body.
>Horrible white wings sprout from your back.
>A horn projects itself from your forehead.
"N-no! I'm an alicorn! NO! MY CHARACTER IS RUINED! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
>Your wings are so pretty.
>BAD END