YahariChap3Excerpt

	“Do you have some sort of Trauma from cooking classes?”
	I was called into the office, even though I handed in my class report for skipping.
	A strong sense of deja vu—why are you nagging me again, Hiratsuka-sensei?
	“Aren't you supposed to be teaching Modern Japanese?”
	“I'm also supervising the Home ed classes now apparently. Tsurumi-sensei gently nudged that responsibility onto me”
	I shift my eyes to a certain corner of the office to see the very Tsurumi-sensei, who is busy watering a foliage plant. Hiratsuka-sensei gives her a quick dirty glance before facing me again.
	“Let's first hear your excuse for ditching it. And please, be concise”
	“Oh, well, I just don't quite understand why we had to cook with a group because....”
	“I'm finding it more difficult to understand your answer, Hikigaya, was organizing into groups such a traumatic experience for you? Was it because nobody picked you?”
	Hiratsuka-sensei looks at me with a surprisingly sympathetic expression.
	“Of course not, what are you talking about sensei? What I'm not getting is, this is supposed be cooking training no?  There is no meaning to training if it has no semblance to the real deal. My mom cooks on her own. In fact, cooking is usually done alone! So, cooking in groups is a waste of time since it fails to reflect reality!”
	“You think this and that are the same thing eh?”
	“Sensei! Are you implying that my mom is wrong? Unforgivable! It's a waste of my time to talk with you! That's it, I'm outta here!”
	After spitting out petty diatribes, I turn around in an attempt to escape.
	“Don't try to worm your way out of this punk. I called you in to get an explanation of your misdeeds, not to get lectured from you”
	Damn it, am I had? Hiratsuka-sensei stretches her arms and yanks at the nape of my uniform. Now I'm facing her again as if I am a kitten lifted up to see face to face with its owner. Ugh, maybe I should've just stuck out my tongue and said [Heehee, What are you talking about?].
	Hiratsuka-sensei sighs and slaps the Report with the back of her hand.
	“'How to make a delicious curry'. It's fine up to this point. The problem I have with it comes from the next part. 'Cut the onions into large slices. Then after cutting it into thinner pieces, season the meat. Just as a shallow person is easily swayed by the words of others, thinner the slices are, the easier it is to season them'. I don't want you to mix in your beef against humanity, I want you to mix beef into it.”
	“Sensei, please don't give me that expression, you're making me blush....”
	“I'm not reading this because I want to. Though I know you know what I'm about to tell you I'll say it: rewrite it.”
	Sensei drags a cigarette into her mouth with a exasperated expression on her face.
	“So, can you cook at all?”
	As she flips around with the report, Hiratsuka-sensei questions me with a mildly curious expression. I'm a bit disappointed that she saw me as such an inept human being. Are there even high-schoolers these days who can't even make a simple curry?
	“Of course. After all, I'm always thinking about my future.”
	“Thinking about moving out already?”
	“No, not quite.”
	“Hmm?”
	Then for what? Hiratsuka-sensei implores me with her eyes.
	“Because cooking is the prime virtue of a house-husband.”
	At my answer, Hiratsuka-sensei blinks her large sets of eye several times.
	“You want to become a stay-at-home husband?”
	“It's a possibility.”
	“Don't discuss your dreams with those rotten eyes of yours. At least try to have them shone in passion and excitement when talking about it..... Just asking as a reference, what does the blueprint of your future look like?
	Hey, maybe you should worry about your own future. Considering that I felt like heads will start flying if I said that, I decide to give her a straight answer.
	“Well, I guess I have get into a decent college first.”
	Hiratsuka-sensei nods in agreement.
	“Hmhmm, what are you gonna do out in the job market then?”
	“I'm going to find a smart and beautiful women to marry. Hopefully, I would then mooch off of her for the rest of my life.”
	“I asked you about your job! Answer in terms of your profession!”
	“Yeah, so a house-husband.”
	“More like a gigolo! They bait you through the hopes of marriage and by the time you realize what happened they roll into your house with a passkey and unpack their belongings in your own property. Then after breaking up, those scumbags have the galls to run out with my furniture!”
	Hiratsuka-sensei left very little to the imagination in her speech. The passion must have gotten into her; she is breathing heavily and has tears welling up in her eyes.
	It's too sad.... I felt so bad that I actually want to cheer her up.
	“Sensei, don't worry! I am not going to become like that. I'm going to be diligent housekeeper so that I'll be leaps and bound above mere gigolos. In fact, I shall become the paragon of all gigolos!”
	“What jigsaw-puzzle bullshit are you spewing now?”
	Chastised for my hopes and dreams, I knew that I was forced into a crevice. Understanding my  precarious position, I quickly recalibrate my words.
	“The term gigolos stinks of negative connotation, but I honestly think a stay-at-home-husband is not such a bad choice.”
	“Hmn?”
	Hiratsuka-sensei leans back from her chair, creating an audible creak, and gives me an intent stare. It seems like she is willing to hear out when I want to say.
	“We live in a fairly gender-equal society. So, naturally, there are many more females climbing up the social hierarchy. As a proof, you are working here as a full-time faculty member.”
	“....Well, yeah.”
	Seems like the bait worked. Now I just need to weave my arguments further.
	“But in exchange, a lot of male workers will be displaced by the increasing number of females. After all, the job market has always been limited.”
	“Hrrmm......”
	“For example, let's say that some company had 100 employees fifty years ago, all male. So if we have 50 females coming in, then 50 of the males will have to naturally go elsewhere. And that's just a very simple calculation. Considering the job market today, the displacement rate could be even higher.
	Hiratsuka-sensei is robbing her chin in reflection.
	“Continue.”
	“Also, organizations like companies have lesser need for labor power compared to the yesteryears. Computers, the Internet, other tech innovations have  increased individual workplace efficiency considerably. I wouldn't be too surprised if someone says “I'm sorry, but your enthusiasm is a bit... problematic” these days. Is work-sharing really a wise thing?
	“Such stances have been popping out these days.”
	“Added to that, appliances have developed so rapidly that you wouldn't see much variation in quality regardless of the user. There is no reason that a guy can't make a livelihood.
	“Wait a second.”
	Sensei interrupts me from further spitting out my impassioned speech. She feigns a cough and glances up at my face.
	“W-well, it's a bit more difficult then you might think...... It doesn't always work the way you want.”
	“for you maybe”
	“......What'd you say?”
	With swift precision, sensei spun her chair and connects her foot to my shin. It's ridiculously painful. Sensei is now glowering at me. I hastily try to amend the situation to continued with my arguments.
	“A-anyways! There is no point in complaining about having a job or not these days when society allows for totally viable means of living sans working so damn hard. It's nonsense!”
	A perfect conclusion. The losers are those who work. Yes, of course.
	“......Whew, your mind really is a rotting piece of shit.”
	Sensei makes a deeper sigh. However, she immediately grins afterward.
	“Maybe that'll change if a girl served you some hand-made goodies......”
	After saying that she stands up and shoves me by my shoulder out of the officer.
	“W-wait! What are doing!? Ow! It hurts! It hurts!”
	“Go and learn the sacredness of labor at the Volunteer Club.”
	She clamps on my shoulders with excruciating pressure before pushing me into the room
	Before I can turn around to complain, she mercilessly slams the door shut. I guess it her way of expressing that she wants no excuses from me.

	As usual, Yukinoshita was reading a book by herslef.
	I greet her lightly and bring out my chair to seat slightly apart from Yukinoshita. I took a couple of volumes from my bookbag as well.
	Just like that, the Volunteer club changed into a literature club.
	What is the purpose of this club anyways? Whatever happened to that duel or whatever promised between us two?
	The answer to my curiosity is suddenly answered with a quiet knock from the front door.
	“Come in.”
	Yukinoshita, who was busy turning pages with her hand, speaks as she thoroughly slides in a bookmark before closing the book.
	“Tsureshimasu~~ (TL notes: This means excuse me).”
	Her meek voice was rife with nervousness.
	A small gap appears on the door	 and a girl squeezes herself into the classroom. It's as if she was afraid that someone was going to spot her.
	Her shoulder-length brown hair waves ever so slightly with every step she makes. Her searching eyes seemed rather uncomfortable and when they meet with mine, she let out a small shriek.
	…....Am I some sort of beast?
	“Wh- what are you doing here Hikki?”
	“......Hey, I'm a club member y'know.”
	But Hikki? Me? Who is this girl anyways? To be honest, I have no memory of her.
	Even at a quick glance, she looked like your typical high schoolgirl. In other words, she had a gaudy sense of fashion that typifies and glorifies the imagery youthful exuberance. A short skirt, a blouse with three popped buttons, hair dyed light-brown, it was an outfit that defied all clauses of the dress code of the school.
	I have no business with such girls. Actually, I have no business with any girls.
	However, the opposing side seems to know me, and saying [I'm sorry, but who are you] at this point is too awkward.
	Then I realized that the ribbon on her chest is red. Our school classifies each students grade-year by the color of the ribbons this. A red ribbon meant that this girl was a fellow second grade student.
	…...Just so you know, I noticed the ribbon by chance observation, not because I was actively staring at her chest so don't get me wrong. Also, as a reference, they were pretty big.
	“Anyways sit down first.”
	I took out a chair in a natural motion and offered it to her. My gentlemanly manners do not stem from any hidden agenda. I want to emphasize that it is merely a representation of my pure considerate nature.
	I'm such a gentleman. As a proof, I usually get my suits from mass markets.
	“T-thanks......”
	She seems a surprised, but she nonetheless takes my offer and sits down. Yukinoshita, sitting across from her, looks at her in the eye.
	“Yuigahama Yui, correct?”
	“Y-you recognize me?”
	When she was called out, Yuigahama Yui looked absolutely delighted. It is as if being recognized my Yukinoshita is a emblematic representation of her social status.
	“Nice memory...... Do you know all the students by name?”
	“Not really. I never knew you, for instance.”
	“Oh, that so......”
	“You don't need to feel upset. The fault lies with me. After all, it was my own unwillingness to recognize your miniscule presence, and, more importantly, my own desire to actively disregard your presence that caused this. As such, it is my weak will, that is at fault. .
	“You call that a consolation? A pretty pathetic one if you ask me. In the end, your just saying that it's still my fault.”
	“I was never trying to console you. I was merely spinning my words.”
	Yukinoshita didn't even give a glance at my direction and flicked her hair on her shoulder back.
	“Somehow......this looks like a pretty fun club.”
	Yuigahama looks at Yukinoshita with a bright set of eyes...... Are her eyes busted up or something?
	"I'm not flattered.... in fact, I find your misunderstanding rather irritating."
	Yukinoshita responds with a cold glare. Yuigahama quickly waves her hands in denial.
	"N-no, well,  how do I put it, something about it feels rather relaxing, that's all I meant! Like, Hikki acts totally different from the way he is in class. I was just surprised that he could hold a conversation."
	"Hey,  I can talk......"
	Do I really that socially inept......
	"Now that I think about. Yuigahama is in class F as well."
	"Uh? rea-"
	"Surely, you knew that?"
	Yuigahama startles at Yukinoshita's word.
	This isn't good.
	There probably isn't anyone in this world who understands the feeling when a classmate forgets your name more than me.  So I decided to worm my way out of this mess with as minimal trauma to Yuigahama as possible.
	"Uh, of course."
	"......Then why are you looking away from her?"
	Yuigahama looks at me with a rather demure expression.
	"Isn't this why you don't have any friends in class, Hikki?  Your so-called excuse only makes you look more worthless.
	Ahh, I'm used to such condescending attitude. The girls in our class occasionally glance at me as if they saw some crap from the floor. She's probably from one of those cliques that are always busy gossiping and socializing with the soccer club people.
	Man, she's my enemy then. I didn't even need to worry.
	".......Slut."
	When I casually cussed her, Yuigahama heatedly responds in kind.
	"What? What do you mean a slut! I'm still a vir— wha-whoa! N-never mind!"
	Yuigahama, blushingly furiously, waves her arms wildly as she attempts to scavenge her confession. She's just a clutz. As if she was feeling bad for her sake, Yukinoshita interjects.
	"There is no need to be shy. Having no experience at our age is—"
	"Whoaaa, what are you saying?! I'm a second year at high school and still? It's embarrassing! Yukinoshita, aren't you lacking in feminine power(女子力)?"
	"......An unsatisfactory value."
	Oohhhh, I don't know what's going on, but Yukinoshita her icy demeanor strengthened significantly.
	"Rather, that feminen power word has slut written all over it."
	"That word again! Calling people sluts just like that, that's just immature. You're beyond just a low-life."
	Yuigahama groans as if she was on a false charge and glares at me with welling eyes.
	"What does calling you a slut have to do with me being a low-life? Also, don't call me Hikki."
	You're making me sound like a Hikkikomori....... Oh, now that I think about it this is a form of insult. It's [robably some nickname that classmates use to scorn me.
	......Hey that's pretty mean, I almost shed a tear.
	Gossiping isn't good.
	So I speak my mind whilst facing others. Since that is the only way to cause direct damage!
	"You damn slut."
	"You....! Are so irritating! And so low too! Just die!"
	At that word, despite my normally peaceful and placid attitude, I was at loss of words. There are numerous slights that shouldn't be said lightly. This is especially true with words related to one's life. If you aren't willing to actually to take the life of another, one should not speak of it.
	"Die die wishing for someone death is not something you just blurt out like that. I should just freaking kill you myself."
	"Ah......S-sorry. I didn't mean......huh!? Hikki didn't you just say it too? Wait, you did!"
	I sensed it earlier, but Yuigahama is indeed an idiot. However, she seems to know when she was in the wrong and apologize.
	She is a bit different from what I imagined of her. I thought her mind would be filled with nothing but thoughts of pleasure, sex, and drugs much like how I imagine those in her group, as in those soccer club people and those around them. Well I never. What is this, some sort of Murakami-esque novel?