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- CH2 AiE
- >It had been bout a week since Rainbow had mentioned...what was it agian? oh ya "Hearts and Hooves Day"
- >You had asked her about it but always got the same response, her looking at the ground, blushing, and muttering the explaination.
- >Regardless you didnt feel like you needed to know too much about it to get involved.
- >You finish your usual day at Sweet Apple Acres, avoiding multiple close calls with Applerape, usually Big Mac saving your ass.
- >Your on your way to the library, because Twilight needed to talk to you, you were still apprehensive of her seeing as she was always locked in the library studying
- "Hey Twi, you here?"
- >TS:"Ya one sec!"
- >Bam she teleports right in front of you, though you have been here for a decent amount of time you still arent used to the whole magic thing unicorns do all the time
- "So why did you call me over?"
- >TS:" Well as a matter of fact i wanted to inform you that hearts and hooves day is in two days, and that to prevent a LOT of hassel you should find a special somep0ny."
- "Um, why would i do that? i mean what your friends did for me at Pinkie's welcoming party for me was...interesting to say the least but i dont think i want a relationship with anyp0ny right now..."
- >TS:"See thats the problem! There are plenty of eligible mares out there, and some...more nefarious than others, and i just wouldnt want you to get in over your head."
- >Woah she cared, well that was a nice thought, and you definitly knew she wasnt interested because of the party, so you decide to trust her.
- "Ok well i will watch out dont worry Twi, thanks for the heads up!"
- >With that you walk out the door, if only you knew what waited for you in two days.
- >You continue on a walk throughout the town untill you come across three fillys
- >CMC:"Hey there mister Anon! We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"
- "The who in the what now?"
- >The pegasus in the group speaks up.
- >Scoots:"The Cutie Mark Crusaders! We have blank flanks, so we banded together to find our special talent!"
- "Oh well thats nice, and how can i help you with this?"
- >AB:"Weeeelll, we are trying our hooves at matchmaking today! Seeing as Hearts and Hooves Day is coming up!"
- "Um, well thanks girls, but how am i supposed to trust three fillys that i dont even know?"
- >AB:"Im Applebloom! Im Applejacks younger sister! I see you on the farm all the time!"
- >You look at the little earth p0ny, she did look familiar
- "Well i try to suppress everything that happens on that farm..so i couldnt say i saw you there but alright."
- >SB:"Im Sweetiebelle! Im Rarity's younger sister! I saw you come in on the first weekend you got here!"
- >You stare at the young unicorn, hoping she didnt see what her sister had done when you tried to get some clothes
- >Scoots:"Annnd im Scootaloo!"
- >Huh, no relation to anyp0ny? Could swear she is like a mini orange version of your bro Dash.
- >CMC:"Anyways, now you know us! So can we try to find you some specialp0ny in time for H&H Day pleasssssse?"
- >Oh god cuteness overload, you cant handle cuteness of that magnitude!
- "Oh well alright, i guess i cant see the harm in it."
- >The three give a loud 'squee' and go running off, oh god what have you gotten yourself into...
- >You finally reach SugarCube Corner without any further interuptions.
- >As you walk in you see Mr. and Mrs.Cake talking idoly as all the p0nies sitting at the tables happily munch on their sweets.
- >Mrs.C:"Oh hi Anon! We baked this cupcake this morning for you! Since you have helped around here alot on the weekends and all, just a little thank you"
- "Aw sweet! Thanks Mrs.Cake, your the best"
- >You take your cupcake and sit down at what seems to be the only table left and gaze out the window
- >You start to think of how much better life here in p0nyville is and get lost on a tangent till you see something move close out of the corner of your eye
- "Woah, the fuck?!"
- >Sitting there infront of you is a mint green unicorn grinning widely
- >L:"Oh dont mind me! I just want to watch you use those....hands."
- >As she says the last part she gives your hands the most seductive look she could muster, ohgod this p0ny is fuckign crazy
- "Ok then...well im just about done with this so i think im just going to go up to my room now?"
- >As you put the half eaten cupcake down the unicorn picks it up
- >L:"Oh thanks!"
- >She picks it up and eats in one bite
- >BB:"Lyra get away from this...thing! Cmon! Lets go home!"
- >Another unicorn stomped by and picked up Lyra, the new one gave you a look so evil you felt that you might turn to stone
- >With that you get up and walk upstairs.
- "Oh god the p0nies in this town are fucking crazy.."
- >You open the door to your room, and lo and behold Pinkie is there.
- >Oh man, she is suspended from the ceiling, all sorts of straps and such holding her right above the bed
- "Pinkie what the HELL is going on in here?"
- >PP:"Oh hi Anon! Well Gummy and me here were gunna play twister! But silly me i forgot the mat! And Gummy here is still mad i didnt feed him yet"
- "That still doesnt explain why your tied up like this"
- >PP:"Well duh! Up here i have an advantage! So now that im not playing...you can untie me! Or not..."
- >As she says the last part she gives you dem bedroom eyes, do not want
- "Umm no i think i will just help you get down..."
- >You look up at the ceiling to see where the hell to start
- >PP:"Thanks for the help Anon!'
- "What? But i didnt..."
- >You look back down and Pinkie is out
- >This p0ny is a wizard you swear
- >Its nighttime, you dont want to fall asleep despite the fact that you have to be at work tomorrow
- >As you stare at the ceiling you see something move in the corner of the room.
- >You dismiss it, probably just Pinkie or Gummy
- >Ohoho arent you wrong!
- >You look over and see its a completely different p0ny, its another...alicorn?
- >PL:"Greetings anonymous, hath you trouble in your slumber?"
- "Um no...actually i was just thinking, something i do pretty much everynight before i go to bed"
- >PL:"We see well we are glad we are not hindering you to doeth so, pardon us, but we do not believe we have introduced ourselves"
- >Wait why is she talking like that? Does she have some kind of pronoun understanding problem?
- >PL:"We are Princess Luna, sister of Celestia whom thou hath met upon thy arrival"
- >Ok so she is a princess too...but why is she here? And still with the messed up pronouns?
- >PL:"We speak in the royal Canterlot voice, doth thou not indulge in this?"
- >Oh shit she can read minds! Okay brain, stay cool dont think of anything bad..
- >Hey bro, you know what? Fuck You, I LOVE HORSE VAGINA
- >Shit dude cmon!
- >Luna blushes and looks down trying to hide a smile
- "ya...sorry bout that...um anyways Princess what brings you here?"
- >PL:"umm please, call us Luna, and we came to see exactly how thy most unique subject was adjusting to thy life in p0nyville."
- "Oh ok Luna, well thanks for checking up on me, im doing pretty well here actually"
- >PL:"And doth our most...handsome subjet know of Hearts and Hooves Day on the near horizon?"
- >Man WHAT IS IT with these mares and this holiday?!
- >PL:"If that is how thou feeleth"
- >Oh good now you have gone and rustled a Princesses jimmies...think what to say, rebound cmon man
- "Oh no its just that alot of p0nies have come to me telling about the holiday, and it just got old today...sorry Luna"
- >PL:"Oh! Than thy hath no plans for such a joyous day?"
- "Um no i dont say i do why?"
- >PL:"Oh, We were wondering if thou wisheth, to spend an evening in each others company?"
- >Oh man, did you just land a princess without even trying?
- >She blushes a bit but looks at you eagerly
- "Sure Luna, i suppose that would be lovely"
- >PL:"Splendid! Our royal chariot will arrive here at sundown!"
- >With that she vanishes again
- >You lean back in bed and put your arms behind your head, with a sly look on your face, you think your the shit now and nothing will slow your roll into the next 2 days.
- >You wake up the next morning, Pinkie there of course, you kind of dont mind anymore
- >She wakes up
- >PP:"Oh Anon! A date with the Princess! Thats lovely!"
- "Wait how the hell did you know Pinkie?"
- >PP:"Silly filly! I know everything!"
- >You really wish she would stop calling you a little girl, with that she bounces out the door.
- >You are on your way to work, in flies your bro, you resolve that after this holiday you need to hang with her wayy more
- >RD:"Hey Anon! Whats up?"
- "On my way to work, shouldnt you be too?"
- >RD:"Got the day off! Anyways, you have any plans for tomorrow?"
- "Um ya tomorrow night, with Luna, why?"
- >She seems a little crestfallen, but suprised nonetheless.
- >RD:"Wait THEE Princess Luna?!"
- "Ya why?"
- >RD:"Dude! Thats crazy!"
- "I know right? Anyways you were gunna say something?"
- >RD:"Well i was going to ask if you wanted to grab a drink or two because we would both be loners but if your going to be out..."
- >Man you cant leave your bro hanging...idea
- "Hey dont worry! I still got you! I will just ask AJ to get off a bit early! Then we can hit the pub!"
- >RD:"Ok see you then!"
- >With that shes gone
- >You finish your day of work, without a hitch, but when you ask AJ for the day off, shit goes wrong as you could have guessed
- "Hey Applejack do you think i could get some time off tomorrow? I have some plans backing up and i will need the time off..."
- >AJ:"Well that depends sugarcube, do ya want some of that time off to be alone bucking my brains out?"
- >Oh god you knew this would happen...
- "Ummm...no?"
- >AJ:"Then sorry but no can do Anon!"
- >With that she trots off
- >Fuck rapists, you never liked em, even in your world.
- >Your on your way home, pondering how your going to tell your bro you cant hang out when your hit by a scooter
- "Ugh, the fuck?"
- >Scoots:"Sorry Anon! I was just so excited to tell you! We found some special somep0ny for you for tomorrow!"
- >Oh man, well at least you can stop this one
- "Sorry Scootaloo, but i already got plans now...so you can call off the date!"
- >Crisis further adverted
- >AB:"But Anon ya got to come! Its our teacher Miss Cherilee! And she seemed so excited to get to go out with ya!"
- >FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
- "Well what time is the date at?"
- >CMC:"Sundown!"
- >Areyoufuckingkiddingme.mpeg
- "uhh ok tell her i will be there"
- >ok, think Anon, you can do this, three different dates, all at the same time...
- >Okay Anon you got this, three dates, all at the same time...well shit, if there was only a way to break yourself into 3.
- >Wait, could maybe Twilight help?She was a well practiced unicorn and maybe she had a spell to help you
- >You saunter over to the library
- >You open the door and bam! Hit in the crotch by a mint green marshmallow
- >You keel over in pain
- "Oh Celestia! What the he'll did I do to deserve this?!"
- >L:"Oh sorry Anon! I didnt mean to! I was just picking up some books about...well nevermind! I'm sorry!"
- "It's ok Lyra, just please watch out next time.."
- >L:"Oh Anon actually I was meaning to talk to you, are you doing anything tomorrow?"
- "Um ya actually I have too much to do tomorrow,so I was gunna ask Twi for a multiplication spell"
- >L:"Oh if that's the case your free then? Oh boy! Ok come by my place tomorrow night! Dont worry Bon Bon said it was fine!"
- >And with that she was off almost at a sprint back to her house
- >Well fuck, isnt this just dandy?
- >You walk into the library, if Twilight doesn't have a spell for this your so fucked, well not with Lyra, you could really care less because you barely knew her.
- "Hey Twilight I got a favor to ask"
- >TS:"Oh sure Anon what can I do for you?"
- >She was pouring over her books as usual, Dash was right she was an egghead.
- "Um I was wondering if you had a duplication spell? I kind of got tied up with too much plans tomorrow and I'm going to need to be in 4 places at once."
- >TS:"Sure thing Anon! But I have to warn you it's for ponies so I don't know what the effect on humans will be..."
- >You really couldn't care at this point it was try or nothing.
- "Beam me up Scotty!"
- >She looks at you, puzzled as to what the hell you just said.
- "Ya. Sure. Go for it."
- >Her horn glows and flashes multicolor light. Before you know it there are 3 other yous in the library, you look pretty good.
- >TS:"The spell lasts as long as you need but when you guys touch you will recombine"
- >Seems easy enough, the 4 of you head back to SugarCube corner to wait until tomorrow.
- >Sure enough tomorrow comes much slower than you wanted, as nightfall approaches the4 of you get ready.
- >1st one heads out with Dash to the pub, the second one makes his way to the restaurant where you will meet Cherilee
- >The 3rd one starts his approach to Lyras, you felt sorry for him, and the last copy waited here at the Corner for Luna.
- >1st
- >You walk over to the pub and sure enough Dash is waiting for you
- >RD:"Jeez man I was starting to think you were gunna bail on me!"
- "Chill your wings woman! Anyways, ready to hit the booze?"
- >RD:"Is that even ever a question?"
- >She gives you a sly grin as you two enter the pub
- >You two have been hitting shots and downing beers for a good two hours before you decide to hike it back to your place, you in your drunk ass state invite Dash over.
- "Bro..*hic* your the best..."
- >RD:"No no bro...*hic* YOUR the best!"
- >The two of you stumble along until you finally reach SugarCube Corner
- >The two of you head up the stairs to your room trying not to wake up the cakes and Pinkie
- >RD:"So we have had the booze, how bout the movies?"
- >Couldnt argue with that logic and with that the two of you kick it on your bed and watch some action movies
- >Into the second movie, it's getting late, look to see Dash is asleep, wasn't there something or someone you expected to come in right now?
- >Your drunk ass can't process this so you crash as well.
- >2nd
- >You walk over to where the CMC said your date would be, you find the place, looks fancy by p0nyville standards at least.
- >Oh god this is going to be expensive as shit
- >Your such a stingy ass, oh well that aside you walk in.
- >Waiter:"May I help you sir?"
- "Ya Im pretty sure I got a reservation here?"
- >Waiter:"Your name sir?"
- >IM THE ONLY FUCKING HUMAN IN EQUESTRIA YOU ASS
- "Anon"
- >Waiter:"Ah yes right this way, your lady is waiting for you."
- >You approach the table to see a red mare sitting there, looking pretty good you must admit
- >You have come to grips with now that your a p0ny fucking socko that you can start to rate them on appearance now.
- >C:"Hey, you must be Anon."
- >She seems pretty nervous, but nonetheless happy.
- "Hi, you must be Miss Cherilee, the CMC have told me that you were the best teacher in Equestria, but they didn't tell me your the best looking"
- >HOLY DUCK FUCK THIS GUY IS SMOOTH
- >C:"And the girls didn't tell me you were such a gentlecolt!"
- >She seemed to turn a darker red, if that was possible.
- >You have idle chit chat about your lives as you wait for the food, salad, oh how you were sick of it.
- >The night goes off without a hitch, too your delight.
- >The two of you seem to have hit it off, and pray to Celestial your clones aren't loving the other dates so you won't have conflicting feelings later.
- >You walk her back her house.
- >C:"Well thank you for the lovely evening Anon, I have to admit I was skeptical about this date because of their attempt last year with Big Mac"
- >You get the image in your head of Big Mac bucking the shot out of Cherilee
- >ohgodwhy
- >Almost reading your mind
- >C:"Don't worry nothing happened, it was a fluke, but I dont think tonight was, would you like to come in?"
- "Sure, if you don't mind"
- >Man you have some natural found talent to make her smile
- >feelsgoodman
- >You walk in and she heads up to her room.
- >C:"Hey Anon you can come up"
- >Oh man she's calling you from her bedroom, practically sprint up the stairs and turn the corner.
- >You see her laying on her bed with dem eyes, unfortunately you don't see the low hanging doorway that you hit your head on.
- >Bam lights out.
- >3rd
- >You start to walk over to Lyras toward the edge of town
- >God why were you the clone that had to go here?
- >You make it to her door and knock
- >Almost instantly Lyra is at the door, sporting a wide ass grin
- >L:"Anon you came!!"
- "Well ya I kinda had to.."
- >BB:"Lyra who is it?"
- >Oh man that bitch again
- >L:"It's Anon! He actually came!"
- >BB:"Greaaaaat"
- >You walk into the house, you spot the pile of books Lyra had checked out from the library, they mostly had to do with humans, I thought Twi didn't have those?
- >She makes quick to hide them and gives you yet another smile.
- >L:"Wait here I'm going to go grab something!"
- >You sit down on the couch
- >BB:"If you so much as look at her with those dirty pervert human eyes of yours I will kill you"
- >Ok, homicidal crazy as fuck BonBon...
- >L:"Here!"
- >She hands you a rubix cube.
- "Ok? Do you want me to solve it?"
- >L:"Oh yes, I want to see those hands work"
- >She gives you bedroom eyes
- >You look almost pleadingly to BonBon to make sure she doesn't want to kill you, look of hate still in her eyes, ok
- >You get to work on solving the cube, it's takes about 2 minutes but you get it.
- "Bam, done"
- >L:"Oh those hands are so awesome! But they could have so many more uses"
- >Again with the bedroom eyes, damn tonight isn't going to end well for you
- >She gives you plenty of more useless stuff to do with your hands until it gets late.
- "Ok Lyra I think I'm going to head home now"
- >She looks sad, but then An idea forms, she runs over and pulls BonBon to the side, they go back and forth for a minute before BonBon seems to let her win
- >L:"Ok one sec Anon!"
- >She leaves, when she comes back she has some rope.
- >BonBon magica you into the air and Lyra ties you up, what the hell psycho p0nies...
- >Tied down now and knocked out by a BonBon karate chop to the neck.
- >4th
- >You wait outside and sure enough after the moon rises comes Princess Luna
- >You give a bow as she approaches.
- >PL:"Good eve Anonymous."
- "Good evening to you Luna, where as we going to spend our time tonight?"
- >PL:"Well we thought it would be most suitable for us to enjoy thy night in the park"
- "Sounds good to me"
- >As you two walk there you see her constantly give you quick glances following by her opening her mouth to speak, but remaining quiet.
- "Is there something wrong Luna?"
- >PL:"Ah, thou hast read me like a book, it may seem, strange but thy are the only p0ny, to hath wished to court us."
- >She seems sadened by this but happy at the same time due to being with you.
- "I don't see why, you are more than beautiful enough, I'm surprised you do not have colts lining up for you"
- >Blush, bam score, it seems like your good romancing halves were with the mares that actually needed the romance, if that's not win nothing is.
- >PL:"Thou hath more than proven to us thou is a gentlecolt, please, tell us about your life before Equestria."
- >You attempt to recall what you can about Earth
- >When you explain it's faults Luna seems to be on the verge of tears, but when you explain it's beauty she listens ever so closely.
- >PL:"Tell us, Anonymous, is thy night on Earth as beautiful as here?"
- "There is no comparison to the night here, and all the beauty that is involved with it."
- >Blush again you sly dog
- >PL:"Ah, but our time hath been cut short, for the sun will arise soon, and we must be back in Canterlot. Might we trouble thy for a..."
- "What your highness?"
- >PL:"We are too embarrassed to ask, pay it no mind."
- "Did you mean this?"
- >You lean in and kiss her, she seems startled but enjoying it, she pulls you in and after a moment pulls away.
- >PL:"Y..yes that is correct, we thank you for a most amazing night, we hope to spend many more with thou"
- >With that she leaves, and you walk back home, you find yourself in bed with...Rainbow and Pinkie?
- >Oh man that must have been a hell of a night for ya.
- >You put a finger to your sleeping head, now only 3 Anons remain.
- >1st
- >You wake up the next morning, with memories of last night with Dash and Luna. Not bad.
- >You can't move without waking up the two mares in bed with you so you lay there and reflect upon what's happened last night.
- >You here Dash talking in her sleep.
- >RD:"Oh ya Anon, right there...ya oooh"
- >While she says this she moves a bit and he hoof lands on your man meat.
- >Pokerface
- >Pinkie turns around face you, and she too talks in her sleep
- >Oh god she is girding her marehood against your hand, wait what the hell her eyelids are moving way to much.
- "What the hell Pinkie your not even asleep!"
- >She opens up one eye, closes it and pretends nothing happened, you take your hand from her and push her off the bed.
- >PP:"Your no fun sometimes Anon! You let Dash feel you up!"
- "That's different! She was actually asleep!"
- >PP:"Not now!"
- >She points a hoof over to Rainbow, who had woken up in the commotion.
- >You look over to her, she looks at you then her hoof.
- >RD:"Hehe, oops sorry."
- >She pulls her hoof away.
- "Well time to get my other clones, assuming since I have no memories of their exploits that they haven't come back yet"
- >The two of you set off for the library to ask Twilight if she had seen you and Cherilee last night
- >TS:"Oh yes, you two headed back to her house, I must say you were being quite the charmer with her"
- >Cool so I got laid right?
- >Nope, you got to her house, you DID find her sleeping in bed with you, but after recombine with the clone do you find out you got knocked out
- >She let you stay the night here and made sure you didn't have a concussion
- "Sorry bout that lag night Cherilee..."
- >C:"Oh it's not a problem Anon don't worry! When is the next time I can see you?"
- >She asks this sort of timidly not sure if you wanted to see her again.
- "As soon as possible, I will let the CMC know and tell you when we can"
- >You give her a smile which she shares and you and Dash walk out side.
- >RD:"Didn't know you were such a womanizer Anon"
- >She jabs a hoof into your side
- "If I didn't know better Rainbow Dash I would say your a shade jealous!"
- >She blushes and turns her head
- >RD:"Pshhh no way!"
- >With that, the two of you head over to Lyras
- >You knock on the door, hear a muffled yell and Lyra walks behind the door
- >L:"Who is it~?"
- "Um it's me Lyra, you hung out with my clone last night, I was wondering if you knew where he was"
- >Another muffled scream, interrupted by BonBon yelling and a heavy thud
- >L:"There are more than one of you?!"
- >She seems really happy, too happy
- >L:"Come in!"
- >She opens the door and what you see remind you why Lyra was creepy, she had your double tied to the table naked.
- >Dash follows you and shares the site, and not surprisingly seems equally disgusted
- "What the hell Lyra?!"
- >Bam BonBon punch to the neck,you collapse, as you black out you can only imagine what's going to happen to you and your double.
- >Wake up, it's morning, don't feel like P Diddy, see Dash and Twilight staring at you with worried expressions
- "Oh god, what happened? Did I get raped by Lyra and her crazy friend who was way to strong to be a unicorn?"
- >TS:"No actually, Rainbow here rescued you!"
- >Dash puffs out her chest and assumes a heroic pose
- >RD:"It was awesome! First I swooped in and..."
- >You stop listening as you take the time to reflect on what happened to all 4 of you
- >Cherilee and Luna seemed like fairly nice mares, you will have to make a note of that
- >After you notice Dash finished her story you excuse yourself to go home, hopefully not all the holidays here end up with you waking up from being knocked out by a p0ny
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