YAHALLO and welcome back to the heavily-requested UNBIASED POWER RANKINGS! Last season, I managed to get 3/4 playoff teams right; I hope to at least get that many correct this time, and, at the very least, do better than the official PRs. This auction featured some pretty crazy overpays and some egregious examples of price-fixing, but wasn't that insane overall, I suppose. As usual, substitutes will not generally be mentioned; otherwise, this would take years. Anyway, let's begin!

The Alpha Ruiners

SV: xavgb
SV: CrashinBoomBang
SV: njnp
SV: Raptor
SS: Eternal Spirit
SM Booty
ORAS: pj
BW: dice
DPP: zf
ADV: mikmer
GSC: siatam
RBY: chuva de perereca
Bench: CTC, valuez
Managers: FlamingVictini & Mannat

After a highly disappointing SPL campaign, Mannat finds himself back in control of another team. He is joined by FV, whose managerial career has yet to reach the same lofty heights as his playing career. The duo were blessed with a solid cast of retains, but their decision to not retain Skype baffles the SPL audience to this day. The team chose to retain dice over Skype, presumably because they thought dice was a much better bet to succeed in his pool and would thus provide more value. However, they then decided to bid an insane 18.5k on Skype in the auction...which flies in the face of their previous plan. Will their seemingly nonsensical retain decision come back to bite them? Only time will tell.

The star players of the team are dice and CBB. As we all know, I have bolded dice more times than I can count throughout the years, and have always been a fan of his gameplay. With the BW pool being a complete joke, lacking high-profile names such as Twitter sensation Finchinator and aspiring GOAT-candidate SoulWind, dice is expected to smash the competition this year. CBB, meanwhile, continues to somehow go for egregiously high prices due to his insane amount of clout on the website. This year, though, he was not 30k, at least. CBB is certainly a good player, and I'm sure he can bring some innovation to the SV table. I think he should do well.

Rounding out the SV core are Stresh, njnp, and Raptor. Stresh has established himself as a strong force in the Smogon competitive scene. Despite having some rather memorable losses, he has managed to rather consistently put up wins and results. He made the finals of OST and also made the finals of the prestigious SV No Johns tournament. Ultimately, there’s no real reason to expect him to fail in this tour. Next up, we have the man known as no justice no peace, who is apparently??? back in 2023. I honestly don’t even know what to make of this LOOL I mean, gun to my head, I would probably expect him to go slightly negative, but his season could go either way. Raptor seems to alternate between having good tours and having bad ones, so I guess he’s going negative here lol. Memes aside, he has shown himself to be a capable player when in form, so for now, I will be optimistic in my outlook.

In SS, we have the Magician, who is finally starting to go for more reasonable prices. I really like Gama at a price like 11.5, and think he could definitely do well. Whether can he can reach the same heights he did a few years ago remains to be seen, but he is coming off a solid SCL campaign after a bunch of rather mediocre outings. Newly-minted tournament director Sabella finds himself back in SPL after going undrafted last year; Sabella stock certainly seems to be somewhat in the gutter right now, and his sheet record certainly is not very impressive. He has shown the ability to get wins at times, though; I think his season could go either way, really. In ORAS, we have pj, who has had a rather rough go of it on the sheet so far; this man is 4-11 LOOL That surely does not bode well for his chances bros….

In DPP, we have zf, a player who I thought retired 4 years ago. Well, he is apparently back. Luckily for him, he finds himself in the variance madhouse. He was a solid player when he was active, so realistically, he will probably be fine in this slot. In ADV, we have mikmer, an ADV mainer who has failed to really make a name for himself on Smogon. He did have an okay campaign last year, but in a rather difficult field, I find it hard to believe he is going to put forth a great performance. Speaking of mainers, Siatum is up next. He is apparently a GSC mainer, but doesn’t really have any notable Smogon results to speak of; he didn’t really do well in GSC Cup and is apparently not on the sheet. Granted, the GSC pool seems rather mediocre at the back-end, so I guess there’s that. Rounding out the roster is chuva, who is supposed to be the next great RBY sensation. I guess he will do well, but he’s certainly no Troller so.

Overall, this team seems decent. They have some good pieces, and even have the team building genius of the basedlord to help them out (assuming he is somewhat active…I feel like he’s just going to primary help CBB, though). They also have a lot of questionable slots, so it would not surprise me if they missed the playoffs.

The Circus Maximus Tigers

SV: TPP
SV: erz
SV: Fc
SV: The Franklin
SS: Finchinator
SM: Ojama
ORAS: Seasons
BW: crucify
DPP: mael
ADV: Altina
GSC: Fear
RBY: LNumbers
Bench: BluBirD, c0mp, Shitrock enjoyer, Lily
Managers: rozes & z0mOg

The worst franchise in SPL returns to the stage yet again, desperately trying to not embarrass themselves for yet another season. This time around, Callous was tossed by the wayside, being replaced by two notable west players in shiloh and z0mOG. rozes has had a solid amount of success as a manager lately, and he will look to build upon that success in this spot. The Tigers are consistently dogshit, so making the playoffs in itself would be considered a glorious feat for the franchise. Can rozes & z0MOg pull it off?

The ace players here are Finchinator, Fear, and Ojama. Finchinator remains one of the most dedicated users on the site. He has certainly put on some noteworthy performances lately, reaching a point where 21.5k is considered a good value for his services. He denies having created a big board in 2023, but I still think he played some role in the draft plan. Regardless, I expect him to perform well in this spot. Fear blatantly attempted to lower his price with a nonsensical signup this tournament, and to absolutely no one's surprise, he is playing GSC here. Who could have foreseen this? He is a player I have consistently called overrated throughout his career. However, that obviously does not mean that he is bad. I just disagree with the notion that he is the best GSC player ever. Personally, I would rank him below Conflict and M Dragon in this pool, but it would be foolish to not expect him to put up wins here. Last up is Ojama, who only went for 13k LOL This has potential to be a massive steal if the kingpin shows up to play; Ojama is one of the best players ever and certainly has the potential to smash the competition. I am certainly a fan and will be banking on him do so, even though he is not in BW or ADV. Surely, Finchinator can help him avoid getting the banhammer...right?

The SV core is comprised of TPP, erz, FC, and The Franklin. TPP's stock was at an all-time high two SCLs ago, but his value has fallen off a bit since then. He is only 21-23 on the sheet, and doesn't really have a knack for putting up great showings. Gun to my head, I would predict him to get around 5 wins. The claw is next; he became a laughingstock after his past few performances, but people seem to be high on him again for whatever reason, as evidenced by his insane 11k price tag. I think this definitely has potential to be an overpay; I will remain skeptical of his abilities to perform in this tournament. Fc is an Ubers player who is 13-5 on the sheet so far. That is certainly impressive, and his 5-1 World Cup performance gives me even more confidence in his abilities. I think he could definitely go positive in this spot. Next up is The Franklin, an RU main who has seemingly become the new Ajna. He has mastered RU, but can he do the same in SV OU? For now, I will temper my expectations for him.

In ORAS, we have some dude named Seasons. I would be lying if I said I had any idea who this was before just now. He is not on the sheet, was 3k, and I don't recall him having done anything notable, so I'm just going to say he will probably struggle. In BW, we have crucify, a BW main who had a decent campaign last season. He did get absolutely curbstomped by ABR in the semifinals, but it is ABR, so we can't really hold that against him. I think he will probably get around 4 or 5 wins. In DPP, we have mael, a player who has done decently in the past. I expect him to get around 4 wins as well. ADV is filled by Altina, who apparently managed to pull off an ingenious price-fix and go for 3.5k to play ADV LOL The Tigers should honestly be right up there with the Classiest in terms of cheating at this point. Well, their franchise does suck, so maybe this is a good sign; who knows? I think Altina could certainly prove to be a value at this price, but I personally just haven't really been impressed by him. I think he will go negative, but should still probably be a solid value at 3.5k. The final starter is LNumbers, a UU mainer who finds himself in RBY. He did well in RBY Cup, so I guess there's that. I mean, it's RBY, so who knows? Maybe he will do okay.

Overall, I think this is a pretty decent team. They have some nice top-end talent as well as some players who could pop off. I'm not a fan of some of their worse slots, though. There is also the risk of Ojama getting banned, which will probably sink their playoff hopes. We shall see.

The Congregation of the Classiest

SV: Luthier
SV: MichaelderBeste2
SV: mncmt
SV: Jytcampbell
SS: suapah
SM: emforbes
ORAS: Sylvi
BW: Garay oak
DPP: oiponabys
ADV: Triangles
GSC: Century Express
RBY: Nails
Bench: Lunala, Student of Sinnoh, emma, dcae
Managers: d0nut & Amaranth

The Classiest return to the stage after having missed the playoffs last season. d0nut has had some pretty solid campaigns and as a manager, and he will look to build on his past successes here, this time with Head TD Amaranth by his side. The team has already been mired in controversy, as they are allegedly employing a ghost slot and taking advantage of suapah's price-fixing signup, both claims that they have vehemently denied. There is also a scandal involving one of their other players in dcae, which for the purposes of this ranking, does not really impact their score. With seemingly the entire playing field turning against the team, can they rally and find a way to win the cup?

The star players here are Luthier and MichaelderBeste2. Luthier is the definition of a sheet warrior, having seemingly won everything under the sun lately. He consistently puts forth good performances and has never gone negative in an official team tour before, which is certainly an impressive feat. I see no reason to expect him to fail in this spot. Michael, meanwhile, has been even more dominant than Luthier, putting up stellar records tour after tour. He has certainly displayed an uncanny ability to win, and he will probably get 6 or 7 wins once again in this tournament.

The SV core is rounded out by mncmt and Jytcampbell (probably?). The fake jamvad has had a rather rough go of it lately, as his recent sheet performances have left a lot to be desired. He is 4-12 over his past three tournaments, which is probably not a good sign of things to come. That being said, I am still somewhat of a believer in his skills, I suppose. Jyt, meanwhile, hasn't really put forth an excellent showing at any point in his career, but he is generally competent enough, I suppose. His season could probably go either way, assuming he is actually playing. If dcae somehow plays, I would probably rate him slightly lower. In SS, we have suapah, who I genuinely think is a pretty solid player. His availability is apparently going to be spotty in this tournament, and he is apparently not going to play for the first 2 weeks. When he is active, though, I expect him to do really well. In SM, we have doubles sensation Emilio Forbes, who I have been informed is actually a solid SM player. I am naturally a bit skeptical here, though; I think his season could go either way.

In ORAS, we have Sylvi, who I am rooting for solely because their name reminds me of the goat Sylvie Lyyneheym. They may or may not be a ghosting slot; if they are a ghosting slot, they will smash. If not, I expect them to struggle. In BW, we have Garay Oak, who is certainly proven himself on many occasions to be a capable player. The BW pool is not in its finest hour, so he should have plenty of room to succeed here. Garay rarely puts forth tremendous showings in team tours, though; he's pretty similar to CBB in that record. I will temper my expectations a bit, but I still expect him to go positive. In DPP, we have some dude I've never even heard of. He got 2 points in DPP cup...congrats. He is playing the thinking gen, so maybe he will be fine; who knows? I will expect him to go negative for now. In ADV, we have Triangles, a veteran who finds himself starting in ADV in SPL for the first time in what feels like a century. Personally, I think 18k is certainly an overpay here, but he will probably do fine. In GSC, we have Century Express, who is clearly the 4th best player in the pool to me. I expect him to get around 5 wins or so. The final member of the starting lineup is Nails, another sheet warrior who has consistently put up good records in official tournaments. I see no reason for that to change this time around.

Overall, I really like this team. It has a lot of very consistent players, and even if they are not cheating, they should probably be good. I would genuinely be shocked if they missed the playoffs, especially with d0nut's solid track record to guide them to success.

The Cryonicles

SV: TJ
SV: ima
SV: crying
SV: Ewin
SS: ayk
SM: Lusa
ORAS: So Noisy
BW: soulgazer
DPP: Kristyl
ADV: Golden Sun
GSC: Conflict
RBY: Hayburner
Bench: Leru, Vileman, Endill, -Tsunami-, clean
Managers: xray & august

Ah yes, my team. I predicted myself to go undrafted this time, but the Cryos randomly decided to pick me. So, here we are. The Cryos are known for being one of the worse SPL franchises, having never managed to lift the cup throughout the years. xray and august bring a lot of diverse knowledge to the table, and will look to turn the franchise's fortunes around.

The star players here are TJ and Conflict. TJ's stock has increased tremendously over the past 2 years, with many players hyping up his skill level. He has had some solid sheet performances, but is coming off of a rather poor SCL showing. That being said, he also did manage to win the most recent Smogon Tour, so he clearly has a lot of talent. I predicted him to do well last time and he failed, but I do think he will put forth a good showing this time around. Conflict, meanwhile, is probably the best GSC player in the tournament. I've hyped up Conflict ever since I first teamed with him in SPL 4; it has been a long time since then, but he has proven to be a consistent force in the metagame. He is 13-6 over the past 2 SPLs, and in a pool with a lot of weaker names at the bottom of the pool, I expect him to smash the competition.

The other SV players on the team are ima, crying, and Ewin. I famously refused to drink the ima Kool-Aid for a while, but eventually had no choice but to do so. He was somehow 15.5k, which certainly feels like a bit of an overpay given his prior SCL price. He did well in the most SV No Johns Tournament and clearly has some degree of skill in this metagame. Based off of his overall team tour exploits, I expect him to go positive. Next up is crying, another player whose stock has apparently gone through the roof in the past year. They are coming off a solid SCL campaign, and will look to build off of that in SV OU. crying seems like a capable player from what I have seen, but I will temper my expectations a bit until they have more noteworthy sheet results. Last up is Ewin, a German who had a rather lackluster SCL performance. I think his season could probably go either way.

In SS, we have ayk, who is apparently 2-6 on the sheet. That is probably not a good sign. That being said, he clearly has some talent, as evidenced by his strong Smogon Tour showing. That being said, it is hard for me to expect him to make waves in this tournament until I see more evidence of his prowess. On the other hand, we have Lusa, a player who has consistently demonstrated his ability to do well on the big stage. He went 13-6 in SPL + SCL; he did have a rather poor World Cup performance, though. That being said, I think Lusa is a solid player and should have a good campaign. In ORAS, we have So Noisy; I honestly am not sure who this is. They have been rather mediocre on the sheet so far. xray does know ORAS like the back of his hand, though, so maybe the team support he provides can help lift this man to success. For now, I am unsure of his ability to succeed. SG finds himself in BW, and I honestly think he will do pretty well. This BW pool certainly isn't as impressive as it usually is, and SG has shown the ability to succeed in a wide variety of his formats. I definitely think he will go positive here.

In the thinking gen, we have Kristyl, who was retained for 10k. She is a DPP mainstay who was solid last season. With some pretty impressive team support, it is hard to believe she will falter. I temper my expectations for pretty much everyone in the thinking gen, but I believe she will probably go positive. In ADV, we have a veteran in Golden Sun. I have spammed the Skarmory + Jolteon team he posted on the forums countless times, so I am clearly a fan of his builds. I remember in SPL 12, he got destroyed Week 1 by Linear and all the zoomers were criticizing Callous's decision to draft him; all the while, I believed he would still end up with 4 or 5 wins. He ended up going 6-3...lol. The pool is hard, but I think that this man knows the tier. I will once again predict him to get 4 or 5 wins and think this is certainly a solid value pick. The last member of the starting lineup is Hayburner. It was incredibly stupid of the BIGs to retain him last year, but he is probably fine at this price. He has been decent on the sheet lately and is playing the meme tier; he will probably do okay.

The team also has some useful subs such as Leru, a man who is 27-19 on the sheet and is coming off a solid SCL showing. He could definitely get a win or two if needed. Overall, I think this is a pretty solid team. They have some nice top-end talent and some good value picks; I think they should definitely challenge for the title.

The Dragonspiral Tyrants

SV: Leo
SV: Star
SV: elodin
SV: dekzeh
SS: Chaitanya
SM: reyscarface
ORAS: LittleBigPlanet2
BW: Dark Eeveeon
DPP: Jirachee
ADV: BKC
GSC: RealJester
RBY: Isza
Bench: apologies, Will of Fire
Managers: PDC & marcop

The Tyrants fell short once again last season after dominating the competition for most of the year. They have been a virtual lock to make the playoffs every season. However, this year, he team did not have reyscarface, arguably the best drafter of all time, to craft a formidable roster for them. They would also be without the services of Christo, one of the best SPL players of all time. Can PDC and marcop weather the storm and catapult the tyrants into the playoffs yet again? Let's find out.

The superstars here are Star and BKC. Star is obviously one of the best players on the site, and despite his best efforts to lower his price by only signing up for SV, he still managed to go for an insane 34.5k due to the ignorance of some Jerk pals. His versatility is greatly limited, but he should be able to put up a strong record nonetheless, albeit in a tier that probably has more variance than ADV OU. Speaking of ADV, that is now the Goat's territory. BKC went for a rather unimpressive 23.5k; he definitely has potential to provide a lot of value given that relatively cheap price. This is a player who you could simply not envision ever going below at least 35k at his peak. He may not be at the level that he once was, but I still believe that he will put forth a stellar showing in this tournament. The team is going to need these two NE members to carry the load if they want to make some noise.

The other SV players on the team are Leo, elodin, and dekzeh. Leo is coming off a very strong SPL 13 showing, but his other sheet performances have left a bit to be desired. It remains to be seen whether he can repeat last season's impressive performance, but I still think that he will probably do well. elodin is another player whose stock has gone through the roof lately, as helped the Raiders capture the SPL 13 title with a strong performance in BW OU. He almost certainly tried to engage in some price fixing, but as of now, he is not playing BW OU; it would not surprise me to see him in that slot if Dark Eeveeon falters, however. Regardless, think elodin is a capable player and will probably do fine in SV. Rounding out the core is Dekzeh, a Nuzlocke main and ADV veteran. I'm not really sure why I'm expected to believe dekzeh is going to succeed in 2023 SV OU, so yeah. Chaitanya finds himself in SS after a solid SCL performance. Besides that tournament, his team tour exploits have left a lot to be desired; he does have some relatively notable individual results, such as making the quarterfinals of the most recent OLT. That being said, I wouldn't say I'm particularly confident in his abilities. In SM, we have the drafting genius himself, reyscarface. This is rey's first time being a player in 5 seasons; he famously went 10-0 for the overrated SPL 8 Raiders. He has many team tour performances under his belt, and he seems to either do really well or just get washed. Personally, I would guess he would go positive.

In ORAS, we have LBP2, an Italian who occasionally finds himself in starting lineups. He has done okay so far, but I wouldn't say I am overly confident in his ability to succeed. In BW, we have Dark Eeveeon, a BW specialist who is known for busting out rather unorthodox selections. I am naturally skeptical of anyone who has not played on the big stage yet, so if I had to guess, I think elodin may be playing this tier at some point this season. I will be rooting for him, though, since his games always seem to entertain me. In DPP, we have Jirachee, who somehow went for an EGREGIOUS 12K LOOOL oh my god!!! This was easily one of the dumbest moments of the entire auction. This man is literally -16 on the sheet dude LMAO The BKC tax is real man. There's honestly 0 shot he is going positive, which is probably not a good thing. They could have honestly just tried to get Fear and punted DPP and been way better off, ngl. All that being said, it is the meme variance tier and he does have BKC on his team (who allegedly is not supporting the slot, but...yeah). Gun to my head, he probably gets like 4 wins. Rounding out the roster are Jester and Isza. Jester is an ADV mainer who has been pretty active in the SmogTours discord; I honestly wasn't sure he would be drafted, but he somehow went for 10.5k, probably out of desperation. I don't really know why I'm supposed to expect him to succeed here, to be honest. Last up is Isza, who I honestly did know even played RBY. He did okay in RBY Cup, I suppose? I mean, it is a variance tier, but the pool is allegedly pretty strong, so realistically, he will probably have one of the worse records.

Overall, I think this is easily a worse team than almost every rey draft I have seen; the fact that they abandoned Tyrants legend Christo certainly does not help either. This is what happens when you let the GOAT influence your draft, I suppose. It should also be noted that they have teambuilding genius WoF on the bench, which should help bolster some of their teams (although, he still refuses to play a game). And yet, despite that, because the average rey draft is of such high quality, this team could still conceivably make the playoffs despite easily being the worst Tyrants roster since SPL 3.

The Ever Grande BIGs

SV: Xrn
SV: Shafofficiel
SV: IPF
SV: BlazingDark
SS: HSA
SM: Empo
ORAS: Spl4sh
BW: Monai
DPP: twash
ADV: hclat
GSC: M Dragon
RBY: Mako
Bench: devin, fakenagol
Managers: Ox & Vulpix

After years of SPL mediocrity, the BIGs will try to make the playoffs and shake off their title as a bottom 2 SPL franchise. The managers this time around are Ox & Vulpix; are they up to the challenge?

The star players here are Empo and M Dragon. Empo has firmly established himself as one of the best players ever over the past couple of years, and he has displayed his mastery over SM time and time again. It took me a while to drink the Empo Kool-Aid, but I have been on the bandwagon for quite a while at this point.  He went for a massive 36.5k, but it would be surprising if he did not get 7 wins, to be honest. That is certainly a big price to pay for a player, though, so Empo will need to bring his A-game if he wants to live up to the hype. M Dragon, meanwhile, is one of the best GSC players ever, having played the tier for over 15 years. I've always bene an M Dragon fan, and in a beatable pool, I fully expect him to put up a stellar record.

The SV players for the BIGs are Xrn, Shafofficiel, IPF, and BlazingDark. Xrn has been alright on the sheet so far, I suppose, but he hasn't had too many notable achievements in the past year. I think his season could go either way. VoD Legend Twin Citiez, meanwhile, has become a competitive mainstay over the past year. He had an excellent World Cup showing, but followed it up with an average SCL campaign. I think he is an above average player and will probably go positive. Next up is IPF, who has failed to really make a lasting impression on the site after playing 13 games on the sheet; I wouldn't say I am expecting too much here. BlazingDark has only played 3 sheet games, so for now, I'll be rather skeptical of his ability to succeed; his 3k price tag further reflects this lack of real expectations by the field.

In SS, we have HSA, whose stock has been in the gutter lately. He struggled mightily in SPL, but did have a solid World Cup campaign. He has put up solid performances throughout the years, and seems to perform best when no one believes in him. I think he could definitely end up providing value at only 6.5k; for now, I will expect him to go positive. In ORAS, we have Spl4sh, who somehow went for an insane 18.5k LOOL What? Why the fuck is Spl4sh so much dude? I mean, he did go 7-2 last SPL, but it remains to be seen whether that was a flash in the pan or not. I think his season could go either way, but he will likely go positive. In BW, we have Monai; I honestly don't even know who this is, so that should sum up my thoughts on him, ngl. He did decently in BW cup, but for now, I will remain skeptical. Next up is twash, a boomer from the stone age who has put up solid results lately; he had a nice Classic run and made the finals of the DPP cup. I think he was definitely a solid buy at 5k for the meme variance tier. In ADV, we have Callous Cup champion Hclat, a player whose stock seems to be continually rising. That alone means he clearly has some skill, but the pool is definitely hard. I think he will go positive, but I would be dubious about his ability to put up a stellar record. Rounding out the roster is Mako, who has performed decently in RBY in the past. They will probably do fine.

Overall, this seems like a pretty solid team. They have some excellent players and some questionable slots. They could certainly make the playoffs if things break their way.

The Indie Scooters

SV: Welli0u
SV: Yelodash
SV: GXE
SV: Cicada
SS: London Beats
SM: umbry
ORAS: Sjneider
BW: sensei axew
DPP: Sakito
ADV: BIHI
GSC: Hyogafodex
RBY: Gefährlicher Random
Bench: Kate, pkThunderbolt
Managers: Excal & Tamahome

Excal finally managed to overcome the odds and finally win a team tournament after years of perpetual mediocrity and disappoint. He finds himself back in the SPL scene, desperately trying to finally achieve success in the greatest tour on Smogon. He is joined by one of the best players ever in Tamahome, who I assume will be helping out with old gen prep (I mean, with these 2 geniuses in DPP, what could possibly go wrong?) Will Excel be able to repeat his SCL success, or will he sink to the bottom of the SPL ocean yet again?

The headliners of the roster I suppose are Gefährlicher Random and Welli0u. The random has established himself as a force to be reckoned with in newer generations. However, this time, he finds himself in RBY OU. I have to imagine he switches to a newer generation at some point, because this team most certainly needs his talent elsewhere. He does apparently play RBY, but it is hard to envision him putting up the same sort of record he would in a modern generation while being in this slot. The Well is another player who finds himself outside of his normal comfort zone. A sheet warrior who seemingly always manages to win when it matters, Welli0u has displayed his dominance countless times over his opposition. Expectations should be slightly lowered for him because he finds himself in the brand-new SV tier, but I still expect him to do extremely well.

The SV core is rounded out by Yelodash, GXE, and Cicada. I’ve heard the name ‘Yelodash’ before, but to be honest, I have no real expectations here. I don’t think he has really done anything notable besides qualifying for Classic playoffs; at the very least, I guess he hasn’t proven himself to be atrocious yet. GXE is coming off a solid SCL campaign where he helped the token Jerk team reach the finals; this tour will be a new frontier for him, though, as he finds himself in SV instead of a lower tier. I am a bit dubious about his skills being able to translate, but he has played relatively well int he past from what I remember. His season could go either way. Last up is Cicada, a boomer player who SG famously overpaid for all the way back in SPL 8. That’s how long ago Cicada was considered to be washed up. I don’t really know why I’m supposed to expect him to succeed here so…yeah.

In SS, we have London Beats, a former ghosting slot who somehow managed to go for 8000 after the Scooters realized they had way too much money at the end of the draft for seemingly no reason. He has been alright on the sheet lately, so I guess there’s that; realistically, he will probably get around 3 or 4 wins. In SM, we have umbry, a player seemingly everyone on the site seems to jerk off to no end as being the second coming of Jesus Christ despite having largely mediocre results across her Smogon career. I do think umbry is a bit better than her sheet record suggests, as hinted at by her impressive Callous Cup performance. However, paying 23.5k for her to play SM OU is absolutely insane; this is, without question, one of the biggest overpays of the entire tournament. Speaking of overpays, the Scooters also paid 20.5 for Sjneider to play ORAS. I have no idea why this man was this expensive; he should have been probably 9-10k less. I think both of these users will put up decent showings, but overpaying this much for them is part of the reason why this roster looks so awful.

In BW, we have sensei axew, who has apparently established himself as the PU Ajna. Can he succeed in BW? I don’t think the tier is that difficult to achieve a baseline level of competency in, but I’m still a bit skeptical here. Next up, we have Sakito, a player who hasn’t really done anything super relevant on the website. He does have an insane amount of support and he is playing the meme variance tier, so I guess there’s that. In ADV, we have BIHI, who has displayed his clutch nature on numerous occasions in the past year. He has yet to really have an extraordinary sheet performance, but the talent is certainly there. However, ADV has a pretty good player pool, so I will be tempering my expectations a bit on his record. In GSC, we have Hyoga LOOOOOL what the fuck? What are we doing here??? Jesus Christ I can’t believe this man is playing again. This man is 5-18 in SPL lifetime. Like come on? LMAO really? No comment. If he gets more than 3 wins, I've lost all faith in the player pool. It should be noted that if Hyoga finishes at -4 or worse, he will have the worst SPL record of all time (barring some insanely disastrous performance by Jirachee).

Overall, this is one of the worst rosters I have ever seen in SPL. This is an abomination. If this team makes the playoffs without some serious tier flexing at the very least, I have lost faith in this site. If the official PRs do not have this team last as Finchinator has claimed, then I have already won the war.

The Stark Sharks

SV: mind gaming
SV: Nat
SV: Kythr
SV: Pablo
SS: SoulWind
SM: TDNT
ORAS: jonfilch
BW: Ayaka
DPP: bruno
ADV: robjr
GSC: watashi
RBY: Heroic Troller
Bench: Raichy, 3d, luispeikou, Sadlysius
Managers: TDK & obi

Ah, the Jerk Team. Classic. I distinctly remember TDK saying a few months ago that there would be no jerking this season, but here we are. This team actually was gut-wrenchingly close to overdosing on the Jerk copium, as TDK and obi decided it was a good idea to bid 34k on Starmaster despite it meaning they would only be able to spend 3k on every other player for the rest of the draft LOL The fact that this was rewarded is legitimately insane. Regardless of their follies in the draft, TDK and obi made a strong statement last year, propelling the goat franchise to heights that had not been seen since the ghosting era. Can they repeat their past success?

The aces in the hole here are SoulWind and Troller, two jerk staples. As per tradition, SoulWind’s price was depressed due to his intimidating aura, allowing the Sharks to pick up the second best player of all time for 21k. He is not in his main tier of BW, but he has demonstrated his SS prowess on many occasions. He should definitely smash. Troller is another player who has destroyed the competition over the years, firmly establishing himself as the best RBYer on the site and possibly of all time. His consistency is honestly unmatched, and it would be surprising if he didn't get at least 7 wins. These two are good bets to succeed and should help the team contend for a playoff spot.

The SV core consists of mind gaming, Nat, Kythr, and Pablo. mind gaming has generally done well in team tours, and I expect more of the same here. His playstyle seems like it lends itself to a lot of variance, though, so I don't think it would be shocking if he went negative. obi and TDK have also decided to sign themselves up for the Nat experience. I mean, when she plays, she is usually decent. She is currently 35-36 on the sheet, so I will probably expect her to get around 4 or 5 wins if she doesn't quit. Kythr is an LC main who has done okay in his career. He was giga overhyped at first, but things seem to have calmed down a bit on that front. I don't really know why I'm supposed to expect him to succeed in SV OU, though, so. The last slot is filled by Pablo, another LC main who I didn't even know signed up for this tournament. He went 9-0 in LC 2 years ago, but does that really matter here? Probably not. For now, I will predict him to struggle a bit. In SM, we have TDNT. I have legitimately 0 idea who this is outside of the fact that he got 5 points in Smogon Tour. So...yeah, he's probably garbage. In ORAS, we have jonfilch, a player whose stock has gone through the roof lately. He was certainly very good in SCL, and all things point to him being able to find success in this spot. I think he will probably go positive.

In BW, we have Gondra, who could certainly prove to be a steal at 4k. However, Gondra is anything but consistent, so he could just get washed, and that would not surprise me that much either. I am still somewhat of a believer in him though. Personally, I expect him to get around 5 wins. In DPP, we have Anti, who has returned from his Discord hiatus. Very nice. 15k for Anti is certainly a good price if the Sharks make the playoffs, but if they do not, it is obviously an overpay simply due to the fact that spending 15k on the thinking gen is utterly stupid. Anti is definitely less experienced in the tier than many of his fellow players, but I think he definitely has the potential to put up the best record in the pool due to his innate talent. In ADV, we have robjr, and at this point, I think we all know how I feel about him LOL It is rare for someone to be so consistently hyped over years of mediocrity, but here we are. At least he was only 6k this time, which is objectively probably a fine price for him. I certainly don't think he is good, though, so for now, despite the fact that he almost beat ABR last season, I will pencil him in for 3 wins. GSC is filled by AMQ / mahjong main FLCL. Well, this is what happens when you load up on Jerk players I guess LOL I mean, the pool sucks, so I could definitely see him being the 5th best GSCer, to be honest. I think he is talented and could definitely farm some wins; I will predict him to get around 4-5.

Overall, the Jerk team appears to be promising this time around. There is definitely a solid amount of talent here, and if Anti switches tiers in the playoffs, it could unlock a whole new dimension of skill for the team. I think they could definitely contend for the title, especially with the help provided by their managers.

The Team Raiders

SV: Gtcha
SV: bbeeaa
SV: zioziotrip
SV: RaiZen1704
SS: Ash KetchumGamer
SM: Skypenguin
ORAS: Kebab mlml
BW: Jisoo
DPP: DeepBlueC
ADV: McMeghan
GSC: Aliss
RBY: Serpi
Bench: Baloor, FALSE
Managers: Tricking & Raiza

The Raiders managed to capture the SPL trophy last season, finally giving this meme franchise its first ring. However, the team this season is almost entirely different, with almost none of the prior squad choosing to return for SPL 14. Can Tricking and Raiza take home another trophy, or will this year be a disaster?

The headliners of this team are beatiful and McMeghan. bea went for an insane 38.5k, which is probably a bit too much. That being said, he’s arguably the best new gen player of the modern era, and it would be foolish to not expect him to get at least 6 or 7 wins. Roro, meanwhile, went for only 22.5k. This feels like it has potential to be a huge steal; Roro has displayed his prowess on numerous occasions in ADV in the past, and he could easily excel in this slot. Most likely, these two players will have to combine for at least 13 wins if this team wants to make a serious playoff run.

The other members of the SV core are Gtcha, zioziotrip, and Raizen1704. Gtcha had an insane SPL run last year and was a major driving force behind the Raiders victory. I am skeptical that he can repeat the same level of dominance, but he should probably do well nonetheless. I honestly barely even know who the zio guy is, but he apparently has some hype behind him or something. That being said, he has yet to really do anything notable on the site, so for now, I will temper my expectations. Raizen is another newer player; he is currently 0-4 on the sheet, so that is probably a bad sign. He did have a good OLT run, so I guess there’s that.

In SS, we have Ash KetchumGamer, who has had some solid individual tournament runs in the past year. He amassed a solid 43 points in Smogon Tour and made top 8 of OLT. His sheet performances so far have been rather pedestrian, though. He does clearly have some talent, so maybe he will be okay. In SM, we have Skypenguin, who Mannat chose to not retain despite being willing to spend 18.5k on him. He has done well in multiple tournament so far, and I see no reason why that trend should not continue here. In ORAS, we have Kebab, who I thought retired like 3 years ago LOL what the fuck?  Why is this dude playing again? Well, he certainly wasn’t very impressive when he was more active so. Next up is Jisoo, who finds himself in the starting roster of an SPL team for the first time ever. I mean, I don't exactly know why I should expect him to do well here. He did have a solid BW Cup run, so there's that I suppose. In DPP, we have DBC, who will probably find himself ranked 1st on the official PRs yet again despite seemingly never managing to get more than 4-5 wins in a single tournament. I expect more of the same here. Aliss in GSC; her last SPL campaign was pretty underwhelming, which is probably a bad sign. I do think the bottom half of the pool is rather weak, though, so maybe she will be fine. Last up is Serpi, who somehow went for an insane 18.5k. I certainly think this is an overpay. I'm not really sure why he was this much. Regardless, he will probably put forth a solid enough showing.

Overall, I think this team is decent. They do have a fair amount of weaker pieces, but there is still a good amount of talent here. They have some really good players, and if the top end of the roster performs well, this team can definitely contend for a playoff berth.

The Wi-Fi Wolfpack

SV: talah
SV: lax
SV: 1 True Lycan
SV: Ruft
SS: Luigi
SM: relous
ORAS: Santu
BW: GaryTheGengar
DPP: SFG
ADV: ArcticBreeze
GSC: D4 Repetoire
RBY: Mana
Bench: Savouras, Teclis, 16bit
Managers: Tony & ABR

Tony finds himself back as an SPL manager after a rather disappointing campaign last season. The Wolfpack was the only team I predicted to make the playoffs that failed to do so; with Tony's track record as probably the greatest manager ever, surely he cannot fail the fans again. He is joined by the greatest player ever in ABR, who will assuredly provide nearly unmatched support across all tiers in the tournament. The managers of this team are certainly impressive, but can their roster catapult Tony and ABR to their 3rd SPL trophies?

The headline players here are lax and talah. lax could either be amazing or be bad; the veteran sheet warrior is 2-11 in his past 2 tournaments, which is probably not a good sign LOOL And yet, this man is still +16 on the sheet, which sums up how insane he can be at his peak. I'm always inclined to believe in Lax to succeed, and if anyone can qualm his tilt, it is probably Tony. I can't, in good faith, expect him to smash everyone based on his recent performances, but I do think he will do well. He is also currently in the finals of the prestigious SV No Johns tournament, so there's that. talah has similarly had some pretty awful showings in their time on the site. Once a laughingstock, they have transformed themselves into a viable asset, one that was considered to be a good value at 19k. That price seems a lot more reasonable than the absurd 30k+ price tag they went for 2 SCLs ago, so that's good. We all know I am not the biggest talah believer, but they have seemed to be a lot more hit than miss when teaming with Tony. They should go positive.

The other two SV players are The Baron and Ruft. 1TL has put forth some solid showings in recent memory, and almost always manages to get wins. I see no real reason for that to change in this tournament. Ruft is far less proven and has had much less impressive results, however; I would probably predict him to go a bit negative. In SS, we have Luigi, a player who I hype as a steal almost every tournament. His price is far more reasonable this time around, however. He is coming off of a solid Classic showing. Luigi has struggled a bit on the sheet to date, but he does generally do alright in SPL; I expect him to get around 4 or 5 wins here. Next up, we have the most obvious Wolfpack buy of the tournament in relous. He has had some solid showings in the past, and with the legendary support of ABR by his side, I fully expect him to be one of the better SM players in the tournament. GaryTheGengar is a player who has earned a lot of praise for his BW prowess; in a weak field that is lacking big names such as SoulWind, Finchinator, and elodin, he could easily put up the best record of the tournament. He also won the most recent BW Cup, highlighting his supremacy over his peers. Despite allegedly having no social skills and being incredibly stubborn (per Callous), Gary is poised to have a great performance this tour.

In DPP, we have SFG, who I believe is an ROA / DPP mainer. I don't really know that much about him, but I have seen his name pop up a lot. He went 2-2 last SPL, and is obviously playing in variance madhouse. Realistically, he will probably do fine. Next up is ArcticBreeze, an ADV player whose stock has seemingly gone through the roof lately. ABR seems to have a great deal of confidence in him. I am naturally skeptical of his abilities to succeed in this tough environment, but we shall see. In GSC, we have D4 Repetoire, otherwise known as 'the Policy Review main with the Kingdra avatar.' I honestly did not even know this guy played Pokemon until just now. Well, I certainly don't really have any expectations here, lol. Last up is Mana, who has unfortunately left armchairing by the wayside in order to play the meme tier this tournament. Mana is certainly a good player who has displayed his talents across a plethora of generations; I think he will probably go positive.

Overall, I think this is a pretty solid roster. They have some more questionable pieces, but the majority of it seems very strong. The team has a lot of building support and some of their weaker slots will probably over-perform. This team should definitely contend for the title.

Well, let's see who the best teams are. As per usual, I gave each players points corresponding to how confident I was in them to succeed and added them up. Based on what I wrote, the rankings should be mostly obvious.

Overall Rankings:

1. The Congregation of the Classiest
2. The Cryonicles
3. The Stark Sharks
4. The Wi-Fi Wolfpack
5. The Ever Grande Bigs

If suapah doesn't play half the year, the Cryonicles would probably be first. But for now, I think this ranking is fine. The Bigs and Wolfpack were basically tied, so I'm giving the Wolfpack the tiebreak because of the Tony / ABR factor; these two managing makes me a bit more confident that some of their lower-rated players could outperform my expectations. Hopefully, that doesn't screw me at the end of the season.

6. The Circus Maximus Tigers
7. The Team Raiders
8. The Dragonspiral Tyrants
9. The Alpha Ruiners

These teams were all relatively close. It hurts to not be a Tyrants fan this season, but I just don't think the roster is nearly as good as previous years. There should surely also be some karma for abandoning Christo. We shall see. I wouldn't say it would be overly shocking if any of these teams made the playoffs; it would really just require 1 or 2 of their players over-performing.

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10. The Indie Scooters

I knew before I did the PRs that this was the worst team this tournament. But, my god, this might actually be the worst team of all time. They were last by almost 10 points. The team is actually comically bad. Surely they cannot actually make the playoffs LOOOL jesus christ.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this edition of the UNBIASED POWER RANKINGS!!! Until next time ------- bop.