Muelin writes really shitty smut of karkat/meenah

You don't really know how long it's been since your first started, not that it matters in the dreambubbles. Time in this place tends to be a rather subjective concept at best. Though part of you kinda feels that it took you a long time, then again even when you were alive time tended to somewhat blur whenever you worked your literally magic. And here it's little if at all different. Even dead you still get that same rush you did when you were alive. The way you'd just let whatever words or phrases come to you, or how you would just let your heart guide you, almost instinctively typing your tale of love and romance, and in your more saucier moods, of heated flushed intimacy and physical lust.

And while you've never once let your skills as a fanfiction writer atrophy in all these countless sweeps you still can't help but feel a slight bit intimidated at this particular challenge. Meenah has always been a difficult character to write even under caliginous circumstances, the only one quadrant she's ever really showed any actual interest in at least in your shipper orientated mind. But now you have to try to write her in a more flushed scenario, and with someone new of all things! As if your talents weren't strained enough as it was. But you've never once in all your years ever let anything, not even staggering evidence to the contrary, ever stop you from pairing two people together. And you most certainly won't let your ignorance of this iteration of Vantas' personality halt your progress towards some kind of fic.

Of course, just because you want to write something doesn't mean you can, and damnit if these two aren't pushing you to your absolute limit trying to come up with some kind of sappy, cheesy, and romantic tale. And after several hours of fruitless effort trying to churn out something, anything, you begin to grow discouraged, what shall you pawssibly do? But then of course the answer comes to you. Of course you think, the answer was always in front of you all along. And with a lazy and cheap solution now available you get to work writing what shall surely be your opus.

After what certainly must have seemed like some ridiculously long amount of time you finally complete your little romance story and set out to get the approval of its star characters. Meenah doesn't take much to find at first, though that grumpy and cute little version of Vantas does require you a bit extra effort to find for some reason, and even more to coerce out of his hiding place. Though for some reason the moment he gets a look at your sign he all resistance seems to drain out of him, even more so the second Meenah grabs hold of him like some starfish to a hull. And it's just occurred to you that you are just so excited to show these two what you wrote and then quickly shove them to a more private place.

After making utterly sure that both are as comfortable as possible you get to work regaling them with the epic you've written.  "And so once upon a time the princess called Meenah met a lovely and bitchy lad called Vantas. The two loved each other utterly and completely. In fact one could say their love was as pure as the milk my lusus prepared for me when I was a tiny grub. Anyway They loved each other, despite having only just met but then again it didn't matter because they had experienced what some trolls called flushed at first sight. And anyway The two could not keep their hands off each other because they were deeply in love and just so desperately wanted to fuck each other. Also Vantas had a nice ass which Meenah absolutely thought was lovely. And so one day, the two lust filled lovers gathered various sopor filled drinks, got totally wasted and then decided it would be a good time to have sex. Vantas pulled his clothes off and so did Meenah, who was really hot as hell and had like a really big pair of shame globes. Anyway once Vantas had removed his trousers, Meenah began to suck upon his bone bulge and Vantas loved it and then in response ate her out and then stuck his dick into her and they fucked for hours. The end."

The two stare in astonishment at first, and then in apathy. Once you finish Meenah however after a few seconds gives you what can only be described as a look of utter contempt and disappointment, and proceeds to stand up and walk away, holding the grumpy little Vantas' hand all the while. As she almost literally drags him in tow, you try to ask them for feedback. Sadly all you get in response is various assortment of curses and swear words from the alternate Vantas and disappointed growls from Meenah. As you ponder for a moment where you went wrong you wonder if maybe you should have included that overly descriptive anal scene like you originally planned. Oh well, back to the drawing board as they say.