[Old] Sandwich

>It's an anon spends the afternoon making crops of lewd pony images from his 7GB collection and uploading them to the ponynet making the citizens of equestria curious as to why there are so many partial pictures of the mane six with unusual facial expressions episode

>You are generic canterlot palace guard #493
>It is a dark and stormy evening in canterlot, and after a typical, boring day shift you are relaxing at home, sitting before the screen of your new Pear™ V1 ponynet communications device
>The sound of the weather is something you're becoming unaware of the more you focus on the screen- there's not a moment going by without multiple fresh posts appearing on equestria.net's various boards, accompanied by the occasional image
>For some weeks you've been slowly devoting more and more of your free time to the ponynet- to be exact, the equestria discussion boards, along with so many of the other early adopters of this nifty new technology
>A couple new posts pass by, and you're drawn to one- it's that "anonymous" fellow, again
>You've seen his posts on equestria.net since day one- he always seemed the odd kind of pony, with his insistence of having been online for years despite the ponynet having gone up only two months ago, and even more bizzare claims that he is not a pony at all
>He also somehow got around the personal photo requirement for a ponynet account, instead representing himself with a badly drawn image of a bear or walrus
>This time, it isn't what he's saying that gets your attention
>Something about rigging an SSD to be Pear compatible, whatever that means. Instead, it is the picture he attached
>It features art of the element of kindness, Fluttershy, red-faced with a look of absolute shock
>...
>Oh
>You lean in and click on the picture, expanding it to its full size, and inspect it in detail. The lines are smooth, incredibly so. Fluttershy's eyes are focused, sharply, on some unseen object. The artist has captured her face almost perfectly, only, it looks as if there is meant to be more of her. As if you're only looking at a zoomed-in section of a complete work
>After anonymous' latest post, two ponies quickly reply to him. The first reads only "what", while the second asks what the image is
>You click the reply box and start typing a message
>"We're not seeing the full picture. What is this from? Artist?"
>Send
>You go back to the image. While awaiting a reply you study it. The lines, the high quality of the colors. Then, from somewhere within, you feel... something. A compulsion
>...
>Right click
>Save image
>A reply arrives within the minute
>It's anonymous
>"Foreign artist. From my vast collection."
>A foreign artist... Is this what eastern art looks like?
>Multiple new posts then appear below anonymous' response
>"full please"
>"The whole picture?"
>"more?"
>"what am i looking at here?"
>anonymous' next reply is quick and brief.
>"Hold a sec, ponies. I'll share what I can :^)"
>What he posts next, is surprising, if not confusing
>The image displays Fluttershy as before, only, the complete picture reveals the object of her attention- a large, and extremely detailed sandwich
>The replies trickle in
>"Is there supposed to be no background?"
>"Why is she afraid of a sandwich?"
>"Too much sandwich for one pony? I don't get this"
>Another detail, which you missed the first time, you notice after saving the picture. The full image includes the paw of some animal placed on the side of Fluttershy's neck
>You hurry to type a reply to anonymous
>"What's the paw from?"
>Send
>When your post goes through, you see that many new posts have already appeared, several of which reference the paw
>Waiting for anonymous' to respond again, you scroll up and expand the image again. The sandwich looks like it doesn't belong, not just because of the extreme detail, but because some of the pixels look funny
>What is anonymous hiding? You type out another message.
>"What is the sandwich hiding? It's different from the rest of the picture"
>Before you tap the send button, you hesitate- without stopping to think why, you add one more word
>"More?"
>Send
>Soon, you receive a response
>"Zigger are you serious?"
>This time, anonymous has included a similar, but clearly new image
>The unknown animal's paw is cradling the back of Fluttershy's head, as she begins eating the sandwich- or, attempts to, as the large tip of the snack enters her maw
>Her eyes aren't just conveying shock now, but worry and fear. There's just no way that thing is going to fit in whole. But why the expression? It's so...
>More ponynet users are starting to pay attention to whatever is going on. Most of the posts display confusion with many also demanding new pictures. anonymous quickly posts two new images
>The first, of another element bearer. Rarity. Like anonymous' original image, it looks incomplete. One of the weird paws is resting on her shoulder, and her mane is messy and out of shape. Her eyes are half open with one beginning to water, and both are focusing on something out of the frame- it cuts off slightly below her chest
>The next, is a shot of Princess Celestia herself. Like Fluttershy, she is accompanied by a sandwich, this one being about as large as Fluttershy's and pressed against the princess' lips. Holding firmly into her horn, another paw.
>The comments continue.
>"Somepony please explain, is this some new art fad?"
>"What the hay is up with those monkey paws!?!"
>anonymous ignores the many questions, and posts another image- Pinkie Pie licking a lollipop.
>...There's nothing weird about this one
>Ponies continue asking anon to share more of his "art collection", with many catching on to the fact that they're edited and asking for the originals to be shared
>anonymous responds with another image- Applejack being slapped across the face with a sandwich
>His post simply reads "You're a naive bunch, aren't you?"
>You're about to respond, but stop yourself. Instead, you wait, and observe the next couple minutes of messages. Anon shares several new pictures and the ponies just keep posting
>Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, all the element bearers feature in the pictures. Sandwiches and the monkey paws remain recurring themes
>"why do i like this?"
>"how many of these are there?"
>"Please tell me what this stuff is! And could you post more Twilight?"
>You begin to type. You're convinced anonymous is messing with the board, whatever his motives are.
>"How many of these do you have?"
>...
>"Do you have any more of the princess?"
>Send
>anonymous' next post is another Fluttershy image- the paw from before is roughly grasping her mane, and the sandwich is halfway gone, making a visible bulge in her neck. The look in her eyes is one of panic
>anonymous swiftly replies to your post. "Got you covered, little guardpony :^)"
>The picture is dominated by most of Celestia's flank, cutting off just past the cutiemark. Her face is partly visible beyond it, with an awkward and embarrased expression clearly upon it.
>That's not all. There is a paw grasping the side of her flank firmly.
>What... what makes it so enthralling?
>"more princess please!", you type, before saving the picture
>Looks like you finally found a replacement for the default background
>anon shares several new images of the element bearers with ponies who requested them. You refresh the page- the counter shows the thread is now over three hundred replies long
>And that's not all. A new picture, showing Celestia like you've never seen her. Eyes heavy and staring blankly ahead. Mane dishevelled, neck craned down in surrender. And a paw set atop her head, as if to pet her like a dog. And she's covered in mayonnaise from the sandwi-
>...oh
>Your forehooves limply slide off the desk
>It finally hits you
 >The response is one of chaos
>Immediately the page is flooded with replies, some typed in all capitals demanding anonymous go away, share more pictures, or calls for him to be arrested for blasphemy
>One simply reads "i am a colt and what is this?"
>The thread spirals on as anonymous simply continues wordlessly sharing dozens more pictures, totally ignoring the mountain of replies until the thread is pushed off the board and vanishes
>You swooped through the page beforehand, saving every last one of anonymous' pictures lest they be lost to you forever before refreshing the page
>Thread not found
>You sigh and decide to call it a night. Maybe anonymous will be back tomorrow- with more pictures!
>Before you can hit the power button, the auto-refresh redirects you to the board's first page. The newest thread is a repost of anonymous' Fluttershy image
>/spg/ - sandwich pictures general
>You are drawn to open the thread. Within you see several ponies sharing photographs of themselves eating absurdly large sandwiches among demands from others to see more of anonymous' art collection
>Cycling back to the front of the board, you see several more of his pictures used in original posts and more close-up photographs from random ponynet users mimicking the cropped images anonymous shared before
>You refresh again. /spg/ has already passed fifty posts and most of the first page consists of ponies reposting anonymous' pictures or sharing their own, even in unrelated threads. Among it all, one unique image sticks out to you
>It depicts a smiling amphibious being, or possibly, an alien
>The name on the post is his- anonymous
>"I improved your ponynet for you. No thanks necessary"
>By the time you open the thread, anonymous' post has been altered with a new line of text, one glowing an angry red
>(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

>You are anonymous
>You are sitting, quiet and comfy, within your secret, hi-tech command center
>...
>Okay, it's Fluttershy's basement
>The yellowquiet has been letting you live down here ever since you arrived, after finding that portal to equestria in the back of your wardrobe, like in that movie
>Monsters Inc. That was the one
>Luckily they haven't discovered that human screams are a potent energy source, yet
>The humming of your Pear™ V1 and occasional hoof-steps from above are the only noises breaking the silence
>It has been three days since the incident. Your equestria.net ban threw a wrench in your scheme, but you're working on an ingenious solution
>"Please enter your name. This will be the username of your ponynet account."
>anonymous2
>...
>"Account created. Welcome to the ponynet!"
>Looks like you're back in business. There is still time before peak ponynet activity hours, so after a quick glance at the boards, you get to work and open Pear™ paint
>Those pictures aren't going to edit themselves
>Many crops and digitally inserted sandwiches later, you hear a squeaking sound from the other side of the room
>You look over your screen, away from your latest edit featuring a disheveled Fluttershy covered in juices with a large sandwich and two tomatoes draped over her face, and see the actual Fluttershy in the doorway on top of the basement's steps
>"Anon, I'm going to bed now. Don't stay up too late, okay?" she smiles, innocent and unaware
>"Uh huh, I'm just finishing up here. Hey, if you're not busy in the morning, how about we go out for a submarine sandwich?"
>"Oh, yes, I'd like that. Sleep well, Anon"
>If only she knew
>The equestria.net mods were quick to act after the initial thread, although the endless tide of reposts has since proven too much for them to eliminate completely, and now they are spreading beyond the initial website you used to distribute them
>/spg/ was allowed to remain for containment purposes, under heavy watch
>And yet news of the incident has yet to spread among the normie-ponies who live without connections to the ponynet
>You're working on that, too
>With a fresh set of images, you open up the browser again
>The equestria boards are bustling with discussion as expected, with only a few of your images being visible across the front page although there are multiple posts visible that mention "the thing that happened"
>Before you can bring yourself to post, and reveal anonymous2 to the world, however, you have a thought
>The ponies reacted better than expected to your images, but if you want to recreate what happened before, you will need more than just the ordinary crops and sandwiches
>A couple seconds of pondering it leads you to the obvious solution
>You open the image editor back up and navigate to your "pone" folder
>From there, you mouse over that one subfolder that has amassed files since the very first day of /mlp/ being a thing
>"/mlp/ banworthy images"
>2739 files, 1 subfolder
>*Click*
>...
>These will work perfectly

>You are generic canterlot palace guard #493
>Like usual, you find yourself spending the late hours on the ponynet, having become gradually more inclined to ignore anything else you would typically do before you had access to it
>You think you can remember regularly playing some sport or another with your fellow guard ponies, but those pre-ponynet days feel like the distant past now
>You have a wife around here, too, somewhere, but since you got the Pear™ V1 she hasn't been paying you much attention while you're home
>She should consider messaging you through the ponynet instead
>Those pictures from before are still appearing on equestria.net. The mods may have sent anonymous away, but the ponies on the site are still sharing them, so much that the staff have chosen to simply delete the images as they see them instead of banning users, to avoid losing half of the entire userbase
>You have taken part in several discussions about the images in question, including with ponies who are, to your amusement, still unaware of the true nature of the "art" anonymous shared
>But really, who could truly have been behind their creation? It's so...
>Naughty
>You open /spg/ and scroll down the thread. There sheer number of posts, of pictures with ponies duplicating what they saw has decreased since the initial flood on the first day, but the thread is still going strong. There's even one very cute pegasus who keeps posting photographs of herself eating progressively larger sandwiches- You've been saving all of those, and even sent a few private messages back and forth with her
>You wish she were your wife instead
>Refreshing the front page reveals several new threads, mostly uninteresting stuff
>Only, there's a thing
>The very same image anonymous had posted just before his ban, is now displayed as a smaller profile picture of somepony posting a new thread. That frog, again
>And then you see the username
>anonymous2
>You enter the thread with a quick twitch and click of your mouse. The OP image is a simple photograph of a pony using a Pear™ V1, and the text is short and uncomplicated
>"So how are you liking that ponynet?"
>He's back
>The threads had seen discussion about who anonymous may have been and if he would return, perhaps to share more of his art collection. The mods refused to mention him by any other name except "the troublemaker" and never confirmed the length of his ban, instead claiming it would last a "severe length of time"
>That's got to mean like, five days, right?
>You start typing, fast
>You're back?! Are you here to share more of your collection? Please tell me you have more of the princess!!
>Send
>When the page updates, five ponies have already replied to anonymous. Two are warning him to be careful of the mods, and the others are requesting pictures
>Another refresh reveals some more- one of which informs the thread that the mods are asleep, and that they should "post sandwiches"
>anonymous' first reply states that he is "going to deal with the mod problem later", and confirms that he indeed has images to share. The one he includes this time is Rainbow Dash and Applejack, both licking the sides of a long, thick sandwich
>Saved
>A pony quotes your post, typing only "this" and including a simple re-creation of the infamous Celestia mayonnaise picture that was obviously scribbled into being with Pear™ paint. Another reposts anonymous' first image from the thread days prior. "Fluttershy is my favorite, I need more of her!"
>Next, anonymous replies to your request
>"You like the princess, don't you?"
>He has attached another of the coveted Celestia pictures- the princess is shown with one of the paws holding her mouth closed and tilting her head up, and another paw stroking her neck, forcing her to swallow
>You stifle a gasp, and start typing back right away
>"Yes! More please!"
>anonymous posts a succession of images for the requesting ponies. Fluttershy covered with... well, you know. A cropped image of Pinkie in apparent ecstasy, with one of the paws firmly constricting her neck, and two of Rarity with sandwiches
>He replies to you yet again. "A lot of loyalty for a hired guard"
>...
>Oh, wow
>It's Celestia, like you asked. She has a large paw on the back of her head, forcing her down onto a massive sandwich, which, going by the size of the bulge in her throat, would be enough to choke a smaller dragon- and she still has some length to go. Her eyes are watering in frustration and panic at the oversized object as she takes it further in
>How did you ever not know how much you wanted this?
>For the next few minutes, anonymous keeps posting. Many of the images are the usual deal- crops, or sandwich edits. But there are some that stand out, sometimes because of an unusual or unique art style, and sometimes, other reasons
>There is one showing a large, tentacle like thing constricting Rainbow Dash's body, holding her almost immobile. Her mouth is muffled by part of the... creature? But it doesn't hide her red face and wide eyes
>Another is Luna. She is being restrained by two of those paws, one holding each of her hind legs behind her head as a huge sandwich rests on her, beginning past her tail dock and ending halfway up her midriff
>She looks... not terrified, but shocked and surprised beyond reason
>Yet another features Applejack, being, uh, you're not sure. The picture has Pinkie Pie taking the form of pink, translucent goo, warping in shape and size to surround and capture a panicked Applejack.
>What
>The pictures keep coming, with a steady amount being weirder ones that don't make total sense to you.
>Then, there is a small one. A crop of Twilight Sparkle's face, fear stricken, mouth agape, as if in fear for her very life. Words are present, but the cropping only leaves "No!" and "Stop!" readable. The post accompanying it is anonymous replying to one pony's demand that he stop disrespecting the heroes of equestria with "degenerate art"
>anonymous has simply typed "REEEEEEEEE SHUT IT DOWN"
>You open a reply window to anonymous' message
>"What is the complete thing? Post"
>He takes a minute to answer you. His post contains a new Celestia picture- she is calmly closing her lips around a more reasonably sized sandwich
>Saved
>"I don't have the complete picture, I only have the page that comes after. I thought you just wanted Celestia, anyway. You wouldn't want your princess to get jealous, would you, little guard pony?"
>...
>Page? Is this from a book?
>You write a new reply
>"What comes after?"
>Two dozen posts later, anonymous responds- without words, just an image
>It's...
>You click to get the full-size
>The picture displays Twilight, being handled by a large paw. Much larger than the monkey paws, this one is scaled, purple, and almost big enough to close around her
>The image is cropped away a little below her waist, with the paw, or claw, grasping Twilight as she sits limply in the palm. A massive, overpowering bulge fills out her body, showing through her belly and torso, only stopping where her shoulders meet her neck
>Her eyes are open and vacuous, and her neck and cheeks are looking inflated. A stream of milky, white juice is flowing out from her lips, and dripping down her body
>...
>Nope
>You take a deep, long sigh and type something out
>"That's enough ponynet for one week, thank you"
>Send
>You switch the Pear™ V1 off, not bothering to see any more replies. You don't know the time, but it's obviously late, so you make the decision to end your day here
>At the bottom of the stairs, you stop yourself. You're sure your wife is already up there
>The kitchen is just a few steps away. Maybe...
>You quietly push open your bedroom door and approach your wife's side of the bed
>Softly, you reach with a hoof and shake her
>She sighs, annoyed, and rolls over to look at you
>What now, did your damn ponynet go down? I was almost...
>She pauses, her face full of confusion over you and the submarine sandwich you're holding in your mouth
>Without breaking eye contact, you gently put it beside her head
>"I need you to eat this."