The Imperia

The Creation

Sonereal:  In the beginning, the skies were void of the stars. The earth was void of plots and humanity was void of the spark to mark a human human.
Sonereal:  And then Ravus snapped his fingers.

Book of CivO
Chapter 1

Sonereal:  So there CivOasis was on the COS Badass.
Sonereal:  The COS Badass is a day away from the coast of Brazil left, but CivO said "I don't give a fuck". With a machete clenched between his teeth, and one in each hand, he jumped off the boat and swimmed to Rio de Janiero.
Sonereal:  As he is walking up the beach, the dead caracass of a hammerhead shark keeping him warm, the natives descend on CivO.
Sonereal:  Clearly, CivO kills them all.
Sonereal:  For them, it was the day CivO, the Incan War God of Sex and Fertility, came and killed all the men and had children with all the women. For CivO, it was a Tuesday.
Sonereal:  After that, CivO was trekking through the Amazon Jungle with his travel harem.
Sonereal:  When he stumbles upon an isolated village never before seen by men. Very quickly, it became obivious that CivO had discovered the long lost Amazon Warrior Women of Brazil.
Sonereal:  As CivO is pumping away on the third Amazon woman, someone knocks on the door. "Who is it?" CivO yells.
Sonereal:  And then the door is kicked down.
Sonereal:  CivO stops pumping.
Sonereal:  "You." CivO stated. His face became that of pure granite.
Sonereal:  "Don't mind me," the newcomer said. "I'm just here spreading the love and teachings of Jesus Christ." The man revved up a chainsaw, "One native at a time."
Sonereal:  CivO buckles up his pants and slaps a woman who kept trying to unbuckle them. "What are you doing here, you Papist bastard?"
Sonereal:  Jeho grins, "I see that you are also spreading the love of Jesus Christ, one native at a time."
Sonereal:  Jeho took a step forward. On impulse, CivO grabs one of the Amazon women who CivO had just pleasured moments before by the hair and threw her at Jeho.
Sonereal:  Jeho's chainsaw bit into her supple brown flesh. Blood and gore covered the room and the screaming almost eclipsed CivOs battle cry as he leapt into the air, machetes at the ready.

Book of Mosher
Chapter 1

Sonereal:  Demon!CivOasis looked outside. "I don't think he's coming, cum-bitch-whore-sucker."
Sonereal:  Demon!Mechaerik sighed, "First of all, language. Secondly, she will. Just give her a moment."
Sonereal:  The school was cold, desolate.
Sonereal:  Demon!Mechaerik could hear the lamentation of men downstairs.
Sonereal:  If he was quiet that is.S
Sonereal:  "Sandusky is the worst ally we have ever had."
Sonereal:  Demon!CivOasis laughed, "At least we're outside his age racket. Demon!Tyo had...problems." Demon!CivOasis gripped his remaining testicle.
Sonereal:  A car pulled up in front of the school. The two demons readied themselves.
Sonereal:  It had taken weeks of planning, but it may pay off.
Sonereal:  [Cut to the car]
Sonereal:  "Bitch get off me" CivOasis said as he got out of the car.
Sonereal:  The president's daughter purred, wiping her lips, "Baby, why you gotta be like that?"
Sonereal:  CivOasis glared, "Bitch, why you gotta be a ho?" CivOasis slams the door on the president daughter's face, sending bone fragments into her brain, killing her instantly.
Sonereal:  Demon!CivOasis has a remarkably small penis
Sonereal:  CivOasis reached back into the car, grabbing his machete.
Sonereal:  There is banging from the trunk before Mosher kicks his way out, leaping twenty feet into the air and landing on his feet, despite having a backpack with a car battery in it that powers his own machete.
Sonereal:  [Cut back to Demon!Mechaerik]
Sonereal:  "Pinkie Pie help us, he brought Mosher," Demon!Mechaerik swore.
Sonereal:  Demon!CivOasis frowned, "I thought you said he would bring a girl."
Sonereal:  "He did....she's dead. This plan has gone downhill already."
Sonereal:  "What do we do now then?"
Sonereal:  Demon!Mechaerik came up with an idea, "I know Mosher's only weakness."
Sonereal:  Demon!Mechaerik led Demon!CivOasis into the auditorium. "Isn't this where...well, all that stuff happened with the zombies and Demon!Tyo raping everyone?"" Demon!CivOasis asked.
Sonereal:  Demon!Mechaerik laughed, "Yeah. Good times. Anyway, look up."
Sonereal:  Demon!CivOasis did.
Sonereal:  "No."
Sonereal:  "In the name of Fluttershy, this is the best pla-"
Sonereal:  "No."
Sonereal:  DemonCivOasis repeated no several more times. Louder and faster than the last time.
Sonereal:  They hear the entrance kicked down, "Please, no."
Sonereal:  "It is our only chance."
Sonereal:  [Cut back to CivOasis and Mosher]
Sonereal:  "How do you do it?" Mosher asked.
Sonereal:  "Do what?" CivOasis asked after smashing his cock against the door like a battering ram to knock it down.
Sonereal:  "You had the president's daughter on you like a Mexican on a truck. What's your secret?"
Sonereal:  CivOasis stopped in the middle of the hallway, turned around, and put a hand on Mosher's shoulder, "When she says, yes. She means yes. When she says no, it just means a yes is forthcoming."
Sonereal:  CivOasis then turned around and kept walking, leaving Mosher to parse that sentence.
Sonereal:  And then there were boobs.
Sonereal:  They weren't there one second while Mosher was walking.
Sonereal:  But then there were, and he walked right into them.
Sonereal:  "Why hello there," The woman purred seductively.
Sonereal:  CivOasis rapidly turned around, "I smell fema-no."
Sonereal:  Mosher pulled his face out, "What Civ?"
Sonereal:  "Mosher, you fucking mornon, look up."
Sonereal:  He looked up.
Sonereal:  "What, she's hot?"
Sonereal:  CivOasis leapt into action, slashing at the woman with a machete. She effortlessly sidesteps the blows, "And hello to you, my Incan Sex God of War."
Sonereal:  "FOR LUNA!" Demon!Mechaerik as he leapt into battle with a warhammer. It took all of Mosher's attention to dodge the blow that created a small crater in the floor where he used to be. Mosher revved up the battery, preparing to attack when a bat smacked into the back of his head, knocking him out.
Sonereal:  "Damn it, Mosher!" CivOasis yelled before the woman teleported behind him and put him in a sleeper hold, knocking him out.
Sonereal:  "...ey. Hey. HEY. Wake up!" Mosher heard CivOasis yell.
Sonereal:  Mosher woke up.
Sonereal:  And groaned, "Not this shit again."
Sonereal:  They were both tied down on a pink, heart-shaped bed. They could see themselves in the mirror ceiling above the bed.
Sonereal:  A record player was playing Barry White.
Sonereal:  "I don't know about you, but I'm tired of being raped by Demon!Tyo." Mosher muttered.
Sonereal:  "....I've never been raped by Tyo."
Sonereal:  Moments of silence.
Sonereal:  "It could be worse," CivOasis said.
Sonereal:  "How?"
Sonereal:  "There could be a psychotic demon in between you two," The woman said, all of a sudden resting between the two.
Sonereal:  "Ok, I'll bite. Who is she?" Mosher asked.
Sonereal:  "That's Demon-" She put a finger over CivOasis's lips, silencing him.
Sonereal:  "Spoilers," she said.
Sonereal:  "Let's see," She started. "I have CivOasis, the aforementioned war god. I have Mosher, a guy whose only weakness is...distraction. Now I just need to worry about the Catholic one I believe."
Sonereal:  "You won't get away with this!" CivOasis yelled.
Sonereal:  She sighed, "You're no fun."
Sonereal:  The woman floats out of the bed, onto her feet on the plush purple carpet.
Sonereal:  "Demon!Tyo is dead. Dead dead." She said.
Sonereal:  Mosher heard a clicking inside his head. His machete is close b y.
Sonereal:  "Demon!TF will be of use however."
Sonereal:  "We're still trying to find the other demons you locked up so uncermononiously, darling."
Sonereal:  Mosher could feel feel the machete. Feel it lifting wherever it is. The closet?
Sonereal:  CivOasis kept talking, "It is a matter of time before Mechaerik finds us. He can detect pony miles away."
Sonereal:  "We found Demon!LH. Poor bastard isn't waking up easily."
Sonereal:  She started coutning off on fingers, "We know where you hid Demon!AA. Demon!TK. Demon!Joan."
Sonereal:  CivOasis blanched. She kept talking, "Demon!RedSpy is taking care of your spy right now."
Sonereal:  "You wont' get away with this!" CivOasis resisted against the chains.
Sonereal:  She laughed, "But dear, I always do. Isn't that right, Mosher?"
Sonereal:  The machete dropped to the ground inches from the back of her neck.
Sonereal:  The chain connecting it making a damning clanking as it fell to the floor leading back to the car battery in the closet.
Sonereal:  "Well, this has gone on long enough. I can not suffer a heretic to live, I'm afraid."
Sonereal:  "But I'll make an exception tonight. Go tell your friends what you saw here." She laughed. "Maybe you'll learn something from the experience."
Sonereal:  And with that, she was gone.
Sonereal:  The chains dissolved to nothing. The first thing Mosher said, "If she wasn't so fucking crazy, I maybe-might would hit that."
Sonereal:  CivOasis punched Mosher in the face, again in the jaw, and knees him in the stomach. "You still have no idea who that was?"
Sonereal:  Mosher shook his head meekly.
Sonereal:  CivOasis looks up into the mirror, now showing the two men laying in bed, shredded to pieces. A trick mirror? "Demon!Sonereal."

Book of Mechaerik
Chapter 1

Sonereal:  Demon!Tyo led the charge
Sonereal:  Leaping up four, five steps at a time as he greedily clawed his way up the stairs
Sonereal:  Drool slobbered from his thrice-broken jaw. Drool between spit and Sandusky's sloppy seconds.
Sonereal:  At the top of the stairs, he looked down the hall. "Hallways usually...this long. And dark. With only one door at the end." Genre-savvy after his last death, he turned around to head back down the stairs. Demon!Tyo almost fell off the ledge. The stairs were gone, leading to nothing but void.
Sonereal:  Demon!Tyo got on his knees and prayed.
Sonereal:  "Father Sandusky. You have never led me wrong. What should I do?"
Sonereal:  "Father Sandusky. You have never led me wrong. What should I do?"
Sonereal:  Demon!Tyo brushed himself up, like a man with a purpose, and stomped his way do-
Sonereal:  "You."
Sonereal:  Shit shit shit.
Sonereal:  Demon!Tyo turned.
Sonereal:  To face. "What is going on? Why am I here?" Jeho asked.
Sonereal:  He swallowed a witty comeback, due to Jeho's chainsaw looking hungry. "I don't know."
Sonereal:  "Please don't kill me!"
Sonereal:  Jeho thought about it. He really did.
Sonereal:  "I won't kill you." Demon!Tyo laughed and was about to dance in joy when arrows peppered his back. He slumped to the ground, dead
Sonereal:  CivOasis had materialized from nowhere.
Sonereal:  "You look different without a protestant whore's lips wrapped around your member," Jeho remarked.
Sonereal:  "And you look different without a choir boy tied to your leg. Now tell me, why am I here?"
Sonereal:  Jeho shrugged. "Creepy hallway. Door ajar at the end of the hallway emitting a," he checked, "Rainbow? Yeah, not good."
Sonereal:  "OH GOD HELP ME."
Sonereal:  CivOasis grimaced. "That's Mechaerik."
Sonereal:  Jeho grinned, "In a room full of rainbow? Sick bastard."
Sonereal:  They entered the room and witnessed a gruesome sight. Jeho clutched his stomach, resisting the urge to throw up. CivOasis also had never seen something so vile.
Sonereal:  Jeho, "I thought it was just a myth."
Sonereal:  CivOasis, "And I think I need to kill it."
Sonereal:  Mechaerik was tied to a chair, in a torn dress.
Sonereal:  Anti!Mechaerik held a tea cup, full of a pink liquid so vile it must be none other than. "The Elixer of Brony."
Sonereal:  Anti!Mechaerik smiled. She stood up, dusted off her jeans, and bowed. "Good news everybody!"
Sonereal:  Mechaerik, mouth gagged with a plushie of Fluttershy, tried to scream and shook his head violently. Anti!Mechaerik ignored him. "Today we're going to have a tea party."
Sonereal:  CivOasis said, "I haven't had a Hispanic woman sin-" Anti!Mechaerik's tea cup turned into a Liberty Launcher. "Oh fuck me-"
Sonereal:  "GET DOWN!"
Sonereal:  She fired. She aimed for the feet.
Sonereal:  Jeho and CivOasis smashed against the pony-covered walls of the room.
Sonereal:  Inexplicably
Sonereal:  CivOasis was thrust upward, through the ceiling.
Sonereal:  Out of the story.
Sonereal:  Jeho was confused.
Sonereal:  Anti!Mechaerik sighed. "She's breaking the fourth wall again."
Sonereal:  Pause.
Sonereal:  Then everyone started laughing at the incredibly bad pun.
Sonereal:  Then Mechaerik's hand turned into a hoove.
Sonereal:  DUN DUN DUN
Sonereal:  Mechaerik screams, "Dude, my fucking hand. I'm turning into A BRONY."
Sonereal:  Jeho pats him on the back, "No you're not. You're turning into a pony, big difference."
Sonereal:  Meanwhile, "LONG LIVE PRINCESS CELESTIMECH, QUEEN OF THE LESBIANS."
Sonereal:  Really, Queen of the Lesbians is a joke from one of my favorite flash animations.

Book of Son
Sayings

Sonereal:  Best way to catch an Indian stealing your cheese? Leave a bottle of alcohol on your front porch.
Sonereal:  Don't get me started on the greaers. They're like blacks, but they have a work ethic if you throw some coins at them and mime painting a fence or putting up a wall.
Sonereal:  Damn gangbangers. Bermuda should reinstitute slavery and give those guys something to do.
Sonereal:  Black people know when they're being followed.

THE IMPERIA: EARLY HISTORY
By CivO

At the dawn there was the Whosit – a being neither man nor god, and who existed before our memory. The Whosit posed the Question, and from the Question rose the great god Ravus.
 Only Ravus knows the Answer, and though he does not share it, he has used his knowledge to create the Imperia, and provide to his followers the light.
 To join his pantheon, Ravus chose the lesser god Oasis, an Incan deity of War, Sex, and Fertility, whose origins are lost to time. To aid in his great plan, Ravus gave Oasis the Clue. And while Oasis was respected by the people, he was not revered nearly to the degree of the Great Ravus, as shown by the eternal single-ness of the vast majority of the Imperia.
 And to spread his designs to the masses, Ravus appointed the Prophet Sonereal, who spread the Book of the Imperia, aided by the Chronicler Red.
 Despite the benevolent Ravus’s guiding hand, not all was well within the Imperia. There arose a false prophet, the ancient being Jehoshua, who, assisted by his lackeys, the Japan-Chinese Emperor Christos and the mad Manx warlord Ailedhoo, preached of a lord distinct from the pantheon of Ravus.
 Even within those loyal to the true Church of Ravuslam, strife was spreading. The mighty demon Tanicius rose up against the forces of the Imperian loyals, and struck down the mighty Wizard Tyo’s grand Admiral navy.
 Forced to the brink, the Imperia ruptured, with Tanicius bringing the once-loyal forces of Lighthearter and Thorvald into conflict with the true Church. Only by the guiding grace of Ravus were they allowed to rejoin the Imperia once again.
 Following the reunification of the Imperia, the Triumvirate of Four was established, to lead its denizens against the threats that faced it. Under the guidance of the Prophet Sonereal, the reformed Demon Tanicius, the former schismatic Thorvald, and strategic brilliance of Tailless, the Imperians entered a new golden age.
 Elsewhere in the world, darkness was stirring. The mighty Ravus had fallen into a deep slumber, allowing the Imperia to descend into chaos, and for the dark forces of The Mods to march in and install their false gods. The conflict threatened to tear the world apart, until the lesser god Oasis intervened, brokering peace between the two sides, and thus codifying the laws of the Imperia, and stabilizing its place within the realm of The Mods.
 And then Oasis proclaimed, “Let there be peace!”
 And the great god Ravus awoke, and the Imperia enter its modern era.

THE IMPERIA: The Antis and Demons
By CivO
 The world of the Imperium was not alone, however. When the Question was posed, it was responded with the False Answer, thus spawning the Demon Tanicius and the Anti!Imperia, a realm inhabited by the polar opposites of the true Imperians. Under the guidance of Tanicius, the Anti!Imperians created the Demon!Imperians, lesser versions of themselves who set out to destroy the world of the Answer.
 The Great Ravus looked down upon Tanicius’s attempts with disdain, and sent down the War God Oasis to aid the Imperians in the defence of their world. Being outside of the universes, Oasis had no Anti! Or Demon! counterparts, and thus the tide began to turn in favor of the world of the Answer.
 Nothing is ever as simple as it may seem, however. Under the guidance of Demon!Mosher and Demon!WIM, and even more horrible force was born – James, a being straddled between both worlds. Initially following the orders of the Demon!Imperians, James eventually grew even more terrible than his masters, and became a threat to the universes on both sides of the divide.