'''
Found on: 2011.12.13
Last update: nil
Author: Unknown
Modified by: Kulverstukas
Shouts: Evilzone.org
Contact: kulverwars@evilzone.org
----
To use it on Linux, put it into ~/.xchat2 and it will load every time you start xchat
or you can do it manualy with: /py load slapper.py
----
To use it on Windows, install Python 2.5
and put it into "X:/Documents and Settings/USERNAME/Application Data/X-Chat 2/"
or you can do it manualy with: /py load slapper.py

Update notes:
2011.12.13:
 * Added one more slap line
 * Fixed the slap() method to catch exceptions
 *
'''
'''
\003
    0 white
    1 black
    2 blue
    3 green
    4 red
    5 dark gred
    6 purple
    7 dark yellow
    8 yellow
    9 bright green
    10 dark green
    11 green
    12 blue
    13 bright purple
    14 dark grey
    15 light grey

\017 reset all
\002 bold
\026 reverse text
\007 beep
\037 underline
'''
#======================================
__module_name__ = "Slapper"
__module_version__ = "1.2"
__module_description__ = "Module to implement a /slap command -- /slap for more info"
#======================================
import xchat
from random import randint
#======================================
slaps = ['throws a keyboard at %s',
'beautifies %s with some knuckle duster imprints',
'sends hordes of lemmings over %s',
'slaps %s around with a pink Macintosh',
'slaps %s around with nuclear waste',
'throws a playstation at %s',
'niest in das Gesicht von %s',
'slaps %s around a bit with a small Imperial-Class Stardestroyer',
'slaps %s about with a large Fluffy Donkey.',
'slaps %s about with a damp womble',
'punches %s in da ribs',
'grabs %s\'s hair and rips it out by the roots',
'drives %s across the head with a bus',
'kicks %s where the sun don\'t shine',
'shoves a large pencil up %s\'s nose.',
'slaps %s around a bit with a large lightbulb.',
'grabs %s\'s large buttocks and rips them off with his bare hands.',
'slaps %s across the face with a large bald rabbit',
'slaps %s up a bit',
'grabs %s by his feet and chucks him out of the window',
'slaps %s about a lot with a large snotty hankie',
'slaps %s about with a golf club',
'slaps %s about with a dead mole',
'slaps %s in the face with a damp crustacean',
'slaps %s about with %s with %s with %s with %s witttttttthhhhhhh........',
'slaps %s in the face',
'shooves a large goat up %s\'s ass',
'throws himself at %s',
'grabs %s and sits on him then slowly lets out his noxious gases',
'relieves himself over %s',
'blasts %s apart with his womble launcher',
'smacks %s in her face',
'slaps %s across the head with a hairy toothbrush',
'slaps %s about with a squashed frog',
'whacks %s in the face with a hedgehog',
'grabs %s\'s legs and breaks them',
'slaps %s about with a squashed frog',
'chucks a cream cake at %s',
'rides a rhino into %s',
'grabs the aluminum bat from the house and runs out to practice baseball with %s\'s head...whoops!...WHACK!!.. Now %s\'s pea-sized brain is all over the field! RETARDO!',
'shoves %s off the nearest cliff',
'smashes a wine bottle over %s\'s head',
'slaps %s with a lil sweet kitten --- ahhh 8D',
'grabs his chainsaw off his shelf, steps up to %s and slowly, so slowly, cuts off his thick neck, letting the blood spew from his arteries, covering $me in the warm liquid',
'picks up his watermellon and smashes it over %s\'s head',
'plays tiddlewinks with %s\'s teeth',
'rips out %s\'s eyeballs and eats them --- mmmmmmm',
'grabs his ice hockey stick and deftly slices off %s\'s legs',
'pushes %s into a large food blender',
'shoves a hamster into %s\'s mouth and slams his jaws together !',
'rides a monster truck over %s',
'wedgies %s !!!!! OUCH !!!',
'locks %s in a freezer and swallows the key :)',
'thoughs a fake left punch at %s , while at the same time, pulling out his samari sword and, swinging it through the air, slices off %s\'s ears',
'drops an elephant onto %s',
'chucks %s into a pit full of crocodiles',
'rips open %s\'s gut and pulls out his intestines',
'is ignoring %s',
'farts in %s\'s face',
'pours man eating antz over %s',
'picks %s up and chucks him in a bath of boiling hot oil',
'gives %s a lobotomy',
'slices %s\'s scalp off and starts chewing on his brain',
'slaps %s about a bit with a small tadpole',
'slaps %s around with a large whale',
'throws %s into a volcano',
'blasts %s apart with his Enhanced Shock Rifle',
'blows %s apart with his "phat" cow launcher',
'chucks cowpats at %s',
'showers %s with sparkling jellyfish',
'blows %s away with his bad breath',
'takes one look at %s and is sick all over the floor',
'slaps %s about a bit with a mouldy sandwich',
'throws a box of feathers at %s',
'slaps %s about with his knuckle dusters',
'whacks %s in the face with an anaconda',
'shoves %s up a tree',
'gives %s a box of chocolates',
'cuts %s into little pieces, puts his bits in envelopes and posts them to antartica',
'grabs %s and shooves him in a wheely bin',
'grabs %s\'s head and rips it off. Then with all his will power, summons the belch monster within, and spews his dinner down %s\'s neck',
'slaps %s with a reeally FAT CAT - meeeoooowwwww !!!',
'purrs at %s ;)',
'chucks a concrete cricket ball at %s\'s head',
'hurls a hurlbat at %s',
'laughs at the way %s snorts when he laughs',
'slaps %s silly with a snotty tissue',
'blows %s apart with his marble launcher',
'kicks %s in the balls --- ooo thats GOTTA HURT !!!',
'gives %s a lump of C4',
'fires 50 pence pieces at %s',
'fires %s at the Sun',
'gives %s a lift to pyscholand',
'locks %s in a mental institute',
'runs away from %s\'s hairy arse',
'hits %s on the head with a large toilet',
'slaps %s silly with a urinal',
'slaps %s about a bit with some baguettes',
'uses %s s a wicket',
'sues %s for being so ugly',
'waxes %s\'s legs',
'waxes %s\'s groin',
'chucks several obese Americans on %s',
'SCREAMS LOUDLY AT %s',
'humps %s',
'slaps %s about a lot with his little pink handbag',
'Laughs Out Loud at %s\'s orange and pink hair',
'slaps %s about a bit with a lump of mercury',
'grinds down %s\'s fingers down to stubs with a meat grinder',
'covers %s in sheep skin and sets his wolf after him',
'pushes %s infront of a thousand stampeding buffalo',
'lobs a hand grenade at %s and ducks',
'cuts %s up and feeds him to a penguin',
'puts some screws through %s\'s eyeballs',
'sniggers at %s',
'chuckles at %s\'s fat ass',
'gives %s a hate bite',
'pulls out %s\'s teeth with a knife and fork',
'eats %s\'s ears for dinner',
'plays football with %s\'s large head',
'breaks both of %s\'s kneecaps, then puts a box of chocolates out of his reach :)',
'throws %s into Hell - "Naughty Girl !"',
'gives %s a @3-->---',
'breaks %s in half',
'rips out %s\'s heart',
'glares evilly at %s',
'punches %s so hard it punctures his chest and goes through the other side !!',
'pokes %s up the nose with a pair of chopsticks !!',
'n00bifies %s',
'slaps %s about with a fat Leprechaun',
'drowns %s in a cup of water!',
'slaps %s about with a giant boob!',
'telefrags %s',
'throws a bookcase at %s',
'slaps %s in the face with a large tree',
'brands "n00b" on %s\'s forehead',
'kicks %s in the face',
'flicks ear wax at %s',
'sticks %s\'s fingers in a plug socket',
'tips puts %s\'s feet in cement and throws him into the sea',
'laughs at %s\'s high heels',
'flicks cds at %s and accidently slices off %s\'s fingers',
'bites off %s\'s ear',
'slices %s\'s throat with a woodpecker',
'chucks aftershave in %s\'s eyes',
'shaves off %s\'s eyebrows while %s is asleep',
'whups %s\'s ass at UT',
'blows up %s\'s pet dog',
'sets a rabid dog upon %s',
'sends %s\'s photo to the police as a "Wanted" person',
'chucks %s in a bath of scorpions',
'laughs like a cheap whore... and starts to ponder his sexuality !!',
'smiles at %s .. thinking - bet your glad i\'m not feeling trigger happy today %s :)',
'slaps %s around a bit with a small trout',
'feeds %s to the sharks',
'throws %s off a bridge',
'grabs %s, ties him down, and waxes his ARSE !!! OUCH !!!',
'puts a plastic bag over %s\'s head and smiles wickedly as %s gasps for air',
'slaps %s about with his monitor',
'tapes %s to a skateboard and pushes him down a hill towards an oncoming bus',
'flushes %s down a toilet',
'grabs %s\'s hands and slaps them down on a red hot cooker',
'pushes %s into a microwave and hits the cook button !',
'stuffs his face full of chocolate',
'shoves a hairdrier up %s\'s nose and turns it up to "nose melter" setting',
'chases after %s with a weed whacker....hey you need a haircut!',
'kicks %s off his feet onto his knees; KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER !!',
'gets out his brand new bat and knocks %s around a lot',
'pulls out his bubble gum, chews on it a bit, ponders over the meaning of %s, then walks away.........',
'slaps %s with a lil fishy wishy',
'steals %s\'s cookies. muhahahahaha!',
'falls off his chair from laughter and spills coffee all over the fookin keyboard !!',
'slaps %s about with a large lampost',
'grabs a handful of cockroaches and shoves them down %s\'s pants',
'pushes %s into a bath full of maggots',
'slaps %s about with an old smelly sock',
'slaps %s about with a toupee',
'chucks %s into a large cement mixer with a camel',
'slaps %s about with his pet camel',
'slaps %s about a bit with an orchestra',
'opens %s\'s gob and chucks a hand grenade down his throat and ducks',
'slaps %s about with windows XP',
'slaps %s about with windows 98',
'slaps %s about with windows 95',
'slaps %s about with linux',
'breaks %s\'s elbow',
'slaps %s about with a fat gay telletubbie',
'pokes %s in the belly button',
'slaps %s about a lot with a fat mongoose',
'strips %s naked and then throws pins at him',
'slaps %s about some with a skinny mongoose',
'pulls out %s\'s armpit hair !!',
'blasts %s apart with a fat spud gun !!!',
'throws %s into a pit of fat belly dancers',
'breaks %s\'s nose with a green spondge lampost',
'kicks his fat rabbit at %s',
'rips out his hair in his frustration at %s !!',
'puts %s in an oven',
'pulls out %s\'s lungs through his throat !',
'wonders why %s has such a fat arse',
'slaps %s about with a trout, yes thats right, a fucking TROUT !! u got a fucking problem with my trout ? hey ? WELL !! HAVE U !!! TOUGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!',
'feeds %s to a hungry pack of dolphins',
'suffocates %s with a large condom',
'blasts %s apart with his mobile phone radiation emitter',
'throws %s infront of an oncoming train',
'gives %s skydiving lessons without a parachute',
'locks %s in a suntaning bed',
'cuts open %s\'s chest then pours salt all over it',
'feeds %s to the ants',
'drowns %s in his own vomit',
'slaps %s silly with an abominable snowman',
'slaps %s about a bit with a fat elephant',
'chucks pins at %s',
'gives %s acupuncture with some large tent pegs',
'gives %s a whole lot of new orafices by practising his knife throwing skills with %s',
'drops a ton of bricks on %s\'s head',
'puts %s into a Spanish bull ring',
'pulls out %s\'s tongue ring violently',
'engraves his name on %s\'s eyeballs',
'slaps %s about a bit with an old granny',
'slaps %s about a lot with 2 small eskimos',
'slaps %s silly with the Titanic',
'gets down on one knee and asks: "Will you marry me %s?"',
'hands %s some spikey dildos',
'assaults %s with a pepper',
'assaults %s with a dildo',
'assaults %s with a cabbage',
'assaults %s with a whistle',
'puts %s in a jar full of bees',
'performs the round-house kick to %s\'s face']
#======================================
def slap(word, word_eol, userdata):
    try:
        if (len(word) < 2):
            xchat.prnt('\n\002Usage\017: /slap \037<nickname>\017 \037<number>\017\n'+
                       '       \037<number>\017 is optional, but if given, a slap by that index\n'+
                       '       will be used. So if you would put 1, then the first slap\n'+
                       '       in the list would be used.\n'+
                       '       Currently there are \002'+str(len(slaps))+'\017 slaps in the list.\n')
        elif (len(word) >= 3):
            if ((int(word[2]) > len(slaps)) or (int(word[2]) < 1)):
                xchat.prnt('\002[-]\017 \0034Cannot send. Number is bigger or smaller than there are lines in the list')
            else:
                xchat.command('me ' + slaps[int(word[2])-1] % word[1])
        else:
            xchat.command('me ' + slaps[randint(0, len(slaps)-1)] % word[1])
    except:
        xchat.prnt('\002[-]\017 \0034Something went wrong. Try again.')
        # do not do anything
        # simply because xChat events sometimes may not fire
        # so word[1] (nick of the victom) will be nil and
        # and this throws and exception because you cannot
        # put "nil" into a string
    return xchat.EAT_ALL
#======================================
def onUnload(userdata):
    xchat.prnt('\002[+]\017 \00312Slapper v%s has been unloaded' % __module_version__)
#======================================
xchat.hook_command("slap", slap)
xchat.prnt('\002[+]\017 \00312Slapper v%s has been loaded - /slap for more info' % __module_version__)
xchat.hook_unload(onUnload)
#======================================