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fluffstory

Fluffies on the Brain

fluffstory
Jan 7th, 2020
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  1. FractalFluff, December 31, 2013; 06:51 / FB 15953
  2. =======================================================================================================================================
  3. Fluffies on the Brain.
  4.  
  5. Fade to black on another fluffy adventure. Right, breaktime over! Time to get down to some actual work.
  6.  
  7. "If your garden has poor soil, or if bending down isn't as easy as it used to be, a raised bed may be the answer. Raised —"
  8.  
  9. "Dummeh hoomin!"
  10.  
  11. "RAISED garden beds can be constructed —"
  12.  
  13. "DUMMEH HOOMIN! Yu pay 'tenshun tu Smawty!"
  14.  
  15. "Yeah, kind of busy. I'll get back to you guys tonight, okay?"
  16.  
  17. "Dis fwuffies' bwane nao! Gif tenshun tu Smawty an hewd. Wite wowdies bout fwuffies!"
  18.  
  19. "Writing about fluffies doesn't pay the bills."
  20.  
  21. "Aww yu wowdies awe bewong tu fwuffy!"
  22.  
  23. "Will you shut up, you little pests?"
  24.  
  25. "Fwuffies nu am pests! Fwuffies nee' stowies finish!"
  26.  
  27. "Fwuffy am amputee! Nee' comedic wesowushun!"
  28.  
  29. "Fwuffy am meanie mummah! Nee' comeuppance!"
  30.  
  31. "Hewd nee' esplanashn of how come wive on Wondon Undagwound. Nu can jus hanwave dis shit, dummeh hoomin!"
  32.  
  33. "Fwuffies nee' stowies wif huggies an nyu daddehs an bubbew-baffies an toys an weanin tu shawe wif uffews!"
  34.  
  35. "Go. Away."
  36.  
  37. "Maybe fwuffies hewp hoomin?"
  38.  
  39. "Are you 600 words of an incredibly boring gardening article?"
  40.  
  41. "Am ovewy-wong nawwative invowvin fecaw impacshun."
  42.  
  43. "Then no, you can't help."
  44.  
  45. "DUMMEH HOOMIN! Dis SMAWTY BWANE nao!"
  46.  
  47. "I told you. Shut up."
  48.  
  49. *raspberries* "THRRRRRRRPT! DUMMEH HOOMIN STAHP WAT DO, WITE ABOUT SMAWTY!"
  50.  
  51. *scruffs Smarty Friend*
  52.  
  53. "Oh poopies."
  54.  
  55. *******
  56.  
  57. "Nuuu! Nu gif sowwy astwiks!"
  58.  
  59. **************
  60.  
  61. "Cough... wheeze... huhuuhuuu..."
  62.  
  63. "Was it worth it, you little shit-rat?"
  64.  
  65. "Dat nu faiw... dummeh hoomin aboose Smawty behin' wow of astwiksis! Aww Smawty's suffewin in vain if aboosefwends nu can wead it. Huuuhuuhuuhuu..."
  66.  
  67. "Well, if it's any consolation, they can veiw the after-effects: 'The destroyed Smarty dangles helplessly from the tree-branch. Blood drips from his many injuries. His horn is screwed securely in the wood, taking his entire weight. He has no way to relieve the strain on his horn; flailing his legs just worsens the pain from the many compound fractures he ha sustained.'"
  68.  
  69. "Huuhuuhuu... heh...heh... ahehheheh heh... AHEHEHEHH!"
  70.  
  71. "What?"
  72.  
  73. "Smawty... Smawty... an... fwuffies... haf... wun..."
  74.  
  75. "What?"
  76.  
  77. "Hugbox... ow... aboose... eifa way... dis... Fwuffy... bwane... nao..."
  78.  
  79. Dammit.
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