dreamygrrl

--SIX MONTHS BEFORE WENDY COOLDOWN'S DEATH--

“…Do you love me?” I knew what was coming the moment the words hit the air. …No, I guess I’d say I knew even before then. I knew a long time ago. Weeks. Months. Maybe years. Time seemed to stand still as her lips pursed and a spark of panic emerged in her weary expression.

“…I can’t,” she rasped out, and my heart sunk. A bitter ache filled my chest, and I could feel hot tears burning behind my eyes. “You know that. …Stop asking.” She looked away, trying to hide the own dull throb I knew she felt.

Of course she couldn’t. She didn’t have time for that. There were bigger things at stake, there always were. I wasn’t even sure she COULD love, even if she wanted to. Her heart had been torn out a long time ago. That was part of the deal. Part of why she did all of this. Part of the reason she had come in the first place.

Every time I saw her, I hoped it would be different. But at the same time…she needed to be that way. It was dark and jagged and beautiful, to see that ice-cold look on her face. If she became anything else, it felt like maybe everything she went through would suddenly be meaningless. Like there’d be nothing left of her. Of the girl I fell in love with.

My voice caught in my throat, but it was better that way. Wasn’t like I could say anything to change it. This was how it had to be.

“…I’m sorry,” she continued. She understood how much it hurt, at least. …Every instinct tore at her to leave, like she had before. She was as afraid as she’d ever been. This wasn’t a fight she was used to. …The usual fights were a lot simpler. Kill whatever monster she’d been sent after, then try to get hammered enough to forget.

“…Sempai.” Midori was better than that, though. That was….I never quite understood her. Not sure I even could. But her smile took hold of me, and the cold, drowning sensation left little by little. “No…Not Sempai anymore.”

“Mayumi. Once we finish the Broken Heart Empire once and for all, I’m going to make you my wife.” And all at once, everything was back to normal. Midori’s smile was bright enough to light up the room, and Mayumi’s face found its cold smirk again.

“Then, you’d better start pulling your weight, rookie.”

I snapped the latest volume of Miracle Midori x Murder Mayumi shut, then turned and buried my face in my pillow. My Mayumi doll stared blankly at me for a minute, then we both began to change. It swelled out, tall and imposing, forming itself into the shadow of a familiar figure, and I fell into its arms, pale green hair falling down my shoulders. Our eyes met, and all I could do was let out a soft little noise as our-

“Well THAT ain’t normal.” A familiar twang from the doorway tore my daydream apart, and before I could stop myself, I’d already sent my kitchen knife spiraling toward her. “Dick!” she squeaked, shielding her face with her arms as it shaved off a few white-blonde hairs.

“Fuck off,” I hissed. …Didn’t even hear Annie come in. Sloppy. Or she got a hell of a lot sneakier. …Ugh. She’d caught me at the worst time. Rather she barge in on me in the fucking bathroom.

“Ain’t any need to be rude, now,” she huffed as she invited herself in, plopping her ass down on my bed. “Ya wanted me t’bring my laptop in, r’member. I certainly cannot be held responsible if you’ve forgotten our date in favor of pleasure’s manic caress.”

I glared at her for a few long seconds before I sat down next to her, trying to mumble out that I wasn’t playing with myself or anything.

“Wendy, shug, manifestin’ some ghost version of yer waifu ta diddle ya-“

I wasn’t doing that either. …I could feel Mayumi shudder in my arms, and I set the doll back down next to my pillow.

“So are they bonin’ yet? Has it been fifty volumes, or is that not enough fer shoujo bullcrap t’actually stop?” …Goddammit. She was making fun of me (which was pretty normal), but it was seriously pissing me off already. Just because nobody dies from ghost curses or something doesn’t mean something’s bad.

“Well now, fer a synopsis…” Annie cleared her throat, then started digging her laptop and accessories out of her bag. “’Midori is a sad, lonely, ordinary girl with no talents or personality, then a tsundere drops out of the sky, falls in love with her for no discernable reason, and completely changes her life forever.’ ‘Zat about right? Should I keep goin’? Can I get inta the part where it’s somebody’s lesbian rape fantasy?”

“…It’s more than that. …You have to actually read it.” She was right, and it pissed me off. Annie liked to pretend she read a lot of manga, and that it made her some kind of fucking expert. She wasn’t. She just had shitty taste.

“I read the first couple volumes when it came out. Didn’t do nothin’ fer me. And yeah, maybe it gets better, but somethin’s got serious problems if ya gotta sit’n go ‘It gets better after ten volumes, really!’ That’s a buncha time to sink into somethin’ that you ain’t enjoyin’.”

…This was a mistake, and what I’d asked her to help me out with was a bigger one. I told her to forget it – growled it out, I guess. And that she should fuck off and let me enjoy my day off.

“…Sorry. I get it, it’s real popular, and yer real into it,” she mumbled, and we both sat quietly while her laptop booted up to some picture of a maid with dog ears. “Lemme know when the OVA comes out, ‘n I’ll give it a try. If it’s any good, I’ll try readin’ it again.”

…Yeah. It’d gotten a lot better pretty recently – I was pretty sure Green Green was a magical girl.

“I heard somethin’ t’that effect, too. MGAR did a thing on it a while back, citin’ some suspiciously familiar details. Crazy shit.” She thrust her computer into my lap with the browser and a text file open. …People always gave me weird looks when I told them I didn’t have a PC, but it didn’t really do anything my phone didn’t.

...Green Green’s email address was saved in my phone, but I triple-checked it just to be sure. I hadn’t told anyone but Annie about it – and I never, ever fucking would – but I’d decided to write a fan letter. She was supposed to be really nice, if you could get ahold of her. Annie was a real cock about it off the bat, but she called something in with somebody – probably made up some bullshit reason for Amber to go fetch – and got it to me within a couple of minutes anyway.

…Felt like a huge nerd just thinking about it. Only got worse when I started to write – it came out awkward, like a bad dating site profile, and Annie leaned in close to read over my shoulder. …She seemed like she wanted to say something, stiffened up in this awkward way as her chest tried to choke my arm to death. The faint scent of apple shampoo, Eversor sweat, and awkward shame was like a cloud around her.

I grunted out a ‘what’ at her after I’d had about enough of her squishing up against me.

“…D’ya…d’ya want me t’write it for ya?”

No. Fuck off.

“…Y’oughta start with a real introduction. She already knows yer a fan, what she doesn’t know is why, or how. Tell her a little bit about y’self. ‘I’m an American magical girl in Santa Destroy, and your manga fills my dark soul with light.’”

Kill yourself.

“I’m not the one writin’ a sex letter to a porn author. Say, that doesn’t look like your work email…” She smirked, and I stared over at her, doing my best to hate her into an aneurysm. Long as one of us got one, I figured I’d win. …No such luck.

“DreamyGrrl88~ That’s so cute~” I ignored her this time. …Wanted to get this done before…before I lost my nerve.

---NOW---

She sent it for me, in the end. Jammed the enter key while I was thinking about deleting it. Couldn’t get a day off without some pushy blonde bitch trying to monopolize it.

…

…Really miss it. Her and Mary, and Nico just fucking…stealing me for a day to eat pizza and play games, or mess around, or whatever.

I sat alone in my hotel room, staring at the same email field. DreamyGrrl to GreenGreenMagica. We’d exchanged emails a couple of times – I got the feeling she did that with all of her fans, when she could find the time. It’d been a few months since I’d had time, but shit, magical girls die all the time. She’d probably already forgotten about me.

…Almost wished Nakajima would come in and cuddle up or something. Or Jade, but she wasn’t the type as much. It was lonely, stiflingly lonely. The Church’s Prognosticators reported in already, said Matsuda came out of her scrap with the Sixteenth more or less in the pink. I was kinda hoping she’d fuck it up, so I’d have some excuse to show up instead of sitting here and waiting for someone to give a shit.

Mickey probably kept her on track. Blueberry was a lot of things you wanted in a puella, and Kong…Matsuda was lucky to have her, even if she was kind of a stick in the ass.

…Mayumi stared at me from my nightstand, like she was asking me why I was being such a pussy about this. The fact that she didn’t say it was a good sign, at least. I was more than sick of dreams talking to me while I was trying to do other shit lately.

‘It’s been a while, Green, but I didn’t die or anything’. Real smooth. ‘You doing okay? I heard they got some idol bitches for the OVA. I hope they don’t screw it up. You know them at all?’

…Yeah. I could do this.

‘So I’m in Mitakihara on business. My girlfriend broke up with me, and I’m feeling a little-‘ No. That’s just desperate and pathetic.

‘I’m in Mitakihara for work. You wanna get lunch? It’s cool if you don’t, I’m sure-‘ Don’t be a beta pussy, I heard Nico hiss at me. Or maybe it was Mayumi after all.

‘I’m in Mitakihara, but I’m bored as shit. Let’s get lunch.’

…She’d never agree to it. Fuck. I shut the stupid laptop and fell back in bed. I was just hitting on anything and everything now, pretending like it meant something. Fuck’s sake, I woke up next to Nakajima. That was like…fucking your little sister. She’d never agree to it and I wouldn’t put her through that.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to get some sleep.

…

…It was only a few minutes later when I heard someone typing. The room over there was lit up – the laptop was open, with someone sitting at the foot of the bed. I thought for a second it was Nakajima, then a familiar voice hit my ears. One with a sweet, gentle tone that I could barely hear through a hiss of radio static.

We’re in a tight spot, Wendy. It doesn’t take much these days, does it…?

…Pink. A tiny girl with pink hair, at the foot of my bed. She glanced back at me for just a second, then offered a half-smile. It was…a little different than I’d gotten used to. There was a little flash of gold when she looked at me. And…usually, she didn’t smile. Ever.

You need to relax a little, is what I’m getting at. You can go back to sleep, I’m almost done writing it.

“…Writing what?” I mumbled aloud, pulling myself up into a sitting position.

An email.

“Oh. Oh fuck no.” I scrambled for the laptop, but my body felt…heavy. Like it did when fucking Blendermouth was around. It wasn’t responding like it should, and she held the laptop away from me even as I reached her.

…Sweet. A sweet smell, and a fresh one, though the coppery stench of blood hadn’t quite left her, either.

Okay, okay.

Her smile turned sheepish, and she pushed the laptop back into my arms – and with one sharp, graceful motion as she withdrew her hands, she punched the enter key.

“…Fuck!” Fuck fuck fuck she’d written a whole bunch of crap about-about losing my girlfriend, and my friends, and how I wanted to meet Green in person fuck fuck FUCK.

Tehe~ Looks like I accidentally sent it anyway. Silly me~

…Pink rapped herself on the side of the head with her knuckles, sticking her tongue out. I wanted to hit her, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to. It was a relief to have someone else do it, but every time one of…them…did something I didn’t want them to, I felt like I was slipping just a little bit more. And I couldn’t afford to.

Not until I…we…saved Annie. And Nico.

And Murderface.