<jumb0> ok so first i notice she has man hands
<jumb0> and im a soldier so im still gonna do it
<jumb0> and i notice that her neck is as big around as my leg
<jumb0> but im still gonna do it
<jumb0> so we get by her house and she wants steak and shake so i buy like a gentleman
<jumb0> and she orders double fries
<jumb0> that was the second sign of doom
<jumb0> so we get to her house and i swear to god
<jumb0> i felt like i walked into a room outta the texas chainsaw massacre
<jumb0> theres a big dent in her bed where she sleeps
<jumb0> and im kinda nervous but shit whatever
<jumb0> so she makes me massage her back and her ass
<jumb0> and i do it cuz im too nice or something
<jumb0> so after a bit of this she wants me to go down on her
<jumb0> but shes in doggy style position
<jumb0> and she wants me to lick her ass whileim down there
<jumb0> im og so im sucking the devils onion ring
<jumb0> and then i start eating at the y
<jumb0> but shes kinda big so i gotta get my face in it
<jumb0> and its hard to breathe so my nose is in her cunt
<jumb0> and i guess i was blowing air in there cuz after a bit she flipped over and let outa wicked queef
<jumb0> so then im going down on her and shes pushing my face all in it
<jumb0> and im kinda suffocating down there
<jumb0> but i keep doing my job and get her off
<jumb0> so i ask for some head
<jumb0> I had to think of everything but her and try my hardest but i got off
<jumb0> and then i go back down on her while im limp
<jumb0> and its ok
<jumb0> so i start hitting it soon enough and i had to summon all my might to stay up for the occaison
<jumb0> and eventually she squirts on me and said she didnt know if she came
<jumb0> but she got up to piss and im kinda happy about this
<jumb0> then i go to piss and im feeling guilty so i poured listerine on my dick to wash off the sorrow
<jumb0> this was a bad idea btw
<jumb0> so i passed out later and in the morning this sorta repeated
<jumb0> and im gonna cry myself to sleep for ever now
* r3my picks jaw up off floor.
<r3my> what kind of bitch are you?
<jumb0> i did it for the lulz r3my
<jumb0> i did it for the lulz


<r3my> tell me all
<r3my> !!!
<r3my> last i heard she got there
<r3my> and we were all scared for him
<r3my> shes a nasty bitch
<[snoopy]> lulz
<r3my> im sorry though
<r3my> for jumb0
<r3my> :(
<[snoopy]> yea seriously
<[snoopy]> but...
<[snoopy]> It is funny
<[snoopy]> listerined hhis dick...gotta take a shower at my place
<[snoopy]> man
<[snoopy]> must've left stank odor on him
<r3my> ugh
<r3my> i hate her
<r3my> we all know about her stanky ass
<r3my> he was warned
<r3my> what an idiot
<[snoopy]> ugh.... I'm glad I know bout this chick now
<r3my> i told him not too
<r3my> hes an idiot
<r3my> i really hope he wrapped up
<r3my> brb joint time
<[snoopy]> k
<r3my> hahahaha
<r3my> back


<jumb0> heh
<jumb0> u like that
<jumb0> btw u knew i was dumb
<r3my> you were warned
<jumb0> i tossed a nut in a ho i didnt like
<r3my> yeah but eww
<r3my> i mean what you get out of it
<r3my> adderall at least?
<jumb0> well
<jumb0> i got off my girl
<jumb0> she swooped me up
<jumb0> and i rocked her
<r3my> you ate her out
<r3my> ...
<r3my> omfg
<jumb0> u read what i said
<r3my> are there any pics?
<r3my> yeah i did
<jumb0> im a soldier
<jumb0> no
<jumb0> she got one of me
<r3my> ppl think you joking
<jumb0> no thats all fact
<jumb0> every word
<jumb0> every single word
<r3my> goddamn
<jumb0> yea
<jumb0> live and learn
<r3my> well im sorry for you
<r3my> thats all
<r3my> listerine dick
<r3my> hahahaa
<r3my> you crazy
<jumb0> every single word
<jumb0> that shit went down
<jumb0> snoopy is saying she should have given me money
<jumb0> but imma be honest
<jumb0> i feel sorry for her
<jumb0> she isnt longfor this world
<jumb0> like
<r3my> how fat is she???
<r3my> i wanted pics
<r3my> FFS
<jumb0> okthose pics she has online
<jumb0> two years old
<jumb0> a lot can happen
<r3my> HOW FAT?
<jumb0> she was like i weigh 170
<jumb0> but it was no 170
<r3my> bullshit
<r3my> hahahahha
<r3my> im 160
<jumb0> and she smokes like a chimney
<r3my> ew
<jumb0> and eats way too much
<jumb0> and takes too many meds
<r3my> WHAT SHE ORDER?
<r3my> oh dude
<r3my> you shouldve got some meds
<jumb0> fresco melt and double fries
<jumb0> who says i didnt
<r3my> haha good
<r3my> i was askin
<jumb0> i swiped her shit when she left the room
<jumb0> im cold
<r3my> hahahaha
<r3my> good
<r3my> what else
<r3my> details!!
<jumb0> llemme think
<r3my> the fucking!!
<jumb0> i told u about the dent in her bed where she sleeps right
<r3my> YES
<r3my> hahahahaha
<jumb0> when i was trying to sleep
<jumb0> it was like i was getting pulled into a black hole
<r3my> HAHAHAHAHAHAAH
<jumb0> she wouldnt turn on the lights cuz she is so selfconcious
<r3my> pancake makeup?
<jumb0> she swore up and down she didnt have no dick rot
<jumb0> and i told her i would kill her if she was bullshitting
<r3my> ...
<jumb0> heh
<r3my> you didnt use a rubber?
<r3my> D:
<jumb0> lemme think here
<r3my> omfg.
<jumb0> yes but not for oral
<r3my> oh
<r3my> whew
<jumb0> who gets head with a condom
<r3my> yeah they taste like shit
<r3my> but shes a skank
<r3my> anyways
<jumb0> lets see
<jumb0> it was so hard to nut in her
<r3my> hahahhhahahha
<jumb0> that i couldnt the first time
<r3my> o god
<jumb0> but dont go breaking her heart
<jumb0> srsly
<r3my> you are much too soft
<jumb0> im not out to hurt anyone
<r3my> pfft
<jumb0> she was the epitomy of unemployable irc addict
<jumb0> :(
<jumb0> but yea
<jumb0> i dunno how i feel
<jumb0> i wouldnt do it again
<jumb0> and  told her i had a good time
<jumb0> and just now
<jumb0> i swear to god
<jumb0> i found a pube in snoopys keyboard
<jumb0> ack
<jumb0> id callit a youthful disgression but im too old for that
<jumb0> it was a mistake
<jumb0> dont be hating