Anon's excellent adventures in Tartarus pt7

In which Anon becomes credit to team.

>You are Anonymous, marooned in Tartarus and fighting for survival.
>And right now, things aren't as going as smoothly as they were a few minutes ago.
>"Shit! Take covah!" A dog screams as they all leap clear, save William, who's caught like a deer in headlights.
>You've fought through too many unholy floating eyeballs with him to see him just get vaporised,
>so you take it upon yourself to make sure that doesn't happen.
You too, dipshit!
>Seriously, did he take a few good ones to the head pre-mortem?
>You manage to shove him aside, even as the massive spear of crimson lightning lances into the hall, blasting in a sizeable amount of the wall as well as hitting you dead on.
>A chuck of said wall catches you bodily, pushing you back.
>You slam into the back wall, vision swimming as the back of your head follows suit.
>Half buried under rubble, you lie there for a minute or two, mumbling gibberish as the eye simply floats there, searching for any sign of life.
>It finds none, but there is a period of stillness before a storm.
>However, you find you could currently care less about the eye.
>Brain?
>Kinda busy getting my shit together here, Anon.
>Why us?
>Because we're in Tartarus, bro. I keep telling you this.
>But...
>Dude. Tartarus. Eternal punishment. Home of the damned. Essentially Hell. C'mon, /I'm/ the one who should be having trouble here, we took one to the back of the head.
>...
>Shut up, brain.
>Slowly shaking your head, you clear out the murkiness in your vision.
>All is still.
>Glancing out from under the rubble, you notice William, lying limp under his own slab, seemingly unconcious.
>you do your best to keep your voice to a low whisper.
Will?
>For a moment, there is no response, and you fear he may actually be out, or worse.
>And then one eye snaps open, meeting yours in a wary glare.
>as lowly as he can, he sushes you. "Play dead, idiot!"
>Nodding, you take his advice and remain still...
>Until your eardrums are nearly split by an unearthly roar, as Half of your chunk of rubble is blown to pieces by another flash of red.
>he knows.png
>You return you gaze to the Dog.
Can't. He knows I'm not dead.
>"Dammit!" he growls, eyes filling with panic and desperately searching for an answer.
>Anon? Got a sec?
>Kinda busy, brain.
>I got us an idea, but you might not--
>Hit me.
>The eye narrowly misses with an optic bolt.
>By that time, you make eye contact with will once again.
Whatever happens, stay there.
>repositioning yourself, you grit your teeth you begin to push with your legs, steadying yourself against the wall.
>the piece of wall stands tall... and falls over.
You got real /shitty/ aim, you know that?
>"Oh shit human, what the fuck are you doing?"
Stand the fuck back, I got this.
>Dusting yourself off, you rise, standing defiant in the face of the eye.
>Its response is, of course, another Thunderbolt to the face.
>Rubbing the whiteness out of your vision, you give a magnificent shit-eating grin.
Is that your best? Come on, step it up!
>You don't know if the eye can understand your words but you know it understand the tone.
>How do you know?
>Well, you can stell from the dilations and having seen some eyes in your time.
>GWOAAAERR
>Also, yeah, it's kind of roaring in a pissed off manner.
Aww, you ma-
>you are cut off by another flash of red thunder.
>and another
>and another
>and another.
>When the smoke finally clears, you smirk, idly brushing off your now slightly charred shirt.
Yeah, you mad.
>With a fairly disgusting squelching sound, the eye splits into a massive maw, easily capable of swallowing a SUV whole.
>It lets out another roar so loud you can feel it.
Oh look, a mouth.
>you begin, gesturing to your crotch
Perfect, all the easier for you to suck my-
>you cut that sentence off as you dodge the eye's charge
>Hopping back, you make sure to keep its attention, nicking a small gash in its side with Starfury.
That's it, big guy!
>You raise your arms once more in the iconic pose.
Come at me, bro!
>The eye does so, and you bolt with the speed of Kenyans.
>gottagofast.gif
>Even as your feet tear up the dust under you, you glance back at the eye, which has all but forgotten about the fortress.
>The idea here was basically the same as your last one: Use your natural magical resistance to distract the eyes from the dogs.
>Turning and backpedaling for a moment, you take the time to cement the eye's focus on you.
ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?!
>You show the eye your friend, Mr. Birdy.
>The maw closes.
>An orb of red lightning forms at the pupil.
>And You flip a thumbs up to the direction of the fortress.
>Meanwhile, gazing out from behind a still standing wall, William looks on in awe and gives a small salute.
>"Godspeed, you crazy bastard..."