chantal: i don’t care, i won’t be missing out on much since it’s one less person to treat me like a doormat then abandon me when things go badly. you’ve treated me like shit for months now even when i’ve made honest efforts to apologize and rekindle our friendship so i’ll be happy to have you out of my life, honestly. i spent seven months of my life in love with you and now i’m practically ashamed to admit that, and i don’t think i deserved to receive a message like this at a time like this. i’m already stressed to the hills with the holidays approaching, and now i’m getting messages from former friends basically detailing a list of things that they hate about me. feels real great on the subconscious of someone with abandonment issues; even though you abandoning me didn’t come across as much of a surprise in the end. its a bit bittersweet that i’ve had to move on from someone who i thought cared about me a lot, but i’ve at least found friends who would defend me at any cost, and let me tell you, it feels real nice. a lot nicer than that fucking message made me feel.

chantal: why the fuck did you think it was okay to bring up shit that was in the past and i’ve since learned not to do? sure, i was ableist and gross when you were having bpd feelings, but i learned from that as i’d never been put in such an experience before. not to mention suddenly dropping all contact with me then getting pissed off when i was upset about the lack of contact when we went from talking daily to once every week didn’t exactly leave a nice taste in my mouth either. rping smut was once, before we both knew that there could be repercussions, and now you won’t have to worry about it ever again since i don’t want you contacting me anymore. also, taking jabs at the choice of artist i choose to commission is petty. it’s my choice to commission what i want from who i wish, even though i’ve probably been painted in your eyes as someone who fetishizes trans and intersex people because i commissioned a couple art pieces with two fictional characters having sex. i’m pretty sure it’s not fetishizing an intersex person if they have sex lmao

me: you say you aren't ableist anymore (which i believed, i just said that it made me uncomfortable to the point where i don’t wanna be friends anymore) but then you pull “you just stopped talking to me all of a sudden!” out of your ass today when i’ve told you countless times that, at that time, i was literally on the verge of committing suicide and i could not function enough to be able to socialize. i have bpd, i know how it feels to have abandonment issues. it’s not a foreign subject to me. how many times am i gonna have to scream that into your head until you actually listen?

me: you literally have the words “h*********ite” and “transgender” on your kink list!! shut the hell up!! trans women and intersex individuals are not unusual to the point where you have to say that they’re a sexual preference that would be considered “odd” oh my godddd you’re cis you can’t fucking say trans/intersex individuals are a kink for you!!!! you’re just adding fuel to the transmisogynistic fire by supporting artists who do this and doing it yourself!!!!
honestly, you could have just left it as ‘let’s not be friends anymore’ and that would have been a lot easier for you and for me, because let’s face it, it was inevitable. you didn’t need to bring up any of this manipulative garbage that revives events from months and months ago. i’m fucking pissed. for all the time i spent trying to keep our friendship alive, the last thing i need is for this friendship to end on a note like this, but you took the first step towards it, so i’ll seal the deal. i try to keep peaceable relations with people if i can, but let me tell you that seeing this in my inbox pissed me off. i could have responded to your message rationally, but i’ve had it up to fucking here with people walking all over me like you loved to do so much. i’m pissed off at myself that i let a 15-year old step all over me for so long, so i’ll gladly repeat that i don’t want you contacting me again. i’m unfollowing you, and i hope you do the same because i don’t want to be associated with you in any way any longer.

me: don’t use my fucking age against me, how shitty can an argument be if you do that lmao

me: if i came off as using you as a doormat, i’m sorry. i fucking cared about you, chantal. i almost always tried to make you feel better when you were sad and i tried to make you happy. i wasn’t using you because you helped me when i felt bad. i did care about you. i’ve never wanted any harm going your way. even right now i still want things to get better for you goddammit!!!!
i’m not gonna be nice about this. you constantly fucking vague about me, i feel like you’ve made almost all of rrp hate me, and i don’t even wanna see your goddamn name on my screen anymore cause of this. you caused me to literally want to die sometimes and can i forgive you even if you apologize? do you think it’s that fucking EASY to just erase the memories of me cutting myself cause i felt like shit due to you? HEY, DO YOU THINK IT FELT GREAT WHEN I WAS SHAMED FOR GETTING IN ANOTHER FUCKING RELATIONSHIP?

me: i’m fucking done with you. you’re just another goddamn adult who’s gonna make it seem like i’m stupid because i’m young. your apologies aren’t gonna fix the scars on my body that you’ve caused. don’t contact me ever again unless you want me to blow up at you. i’m done with you, chantal. don’t even think of me anymore.

me: i’m practically ashamed to admit that i’ve done that with you at this point.