Eq Renaissance Part 19 (Ed)

Dear Snails,

   How are you?
   I hope you are doing well.  I worry about you a lot because you’re not here.  Sometimes people ask me about you.  I tell them where you are and that you joined the army.  They are really surprised and tell me how good you are.  I get really happy about that, and I’m really really proud of you.
   But when I get home, and I’m alone, I start to get really worried.  I’m proud of you and I know you’ll do a good job, but I also think about how dangerous it is.  I start to imagine what might happen if you get hurt.  Or worse.  I cry a lot.  I cry a lot for other reasons too, and I think it’s usually because of hormones, but those times I know it’s not.  Please promise me you’ll stay safe.  I know you can’t really promise everything, but I’d feel better if you said it anyway, just because.  I trust you.
   I was talking to my mom the other day.  I was asking about my great grandpa.  I never knew him, but my mom knew him well.  He was a soldier too, just like you.  He fought in a war.  I think he was in the navy, not the army.  My mom says he served on a submarine and was in a lot of battles.  I asked my mom what it was like for my grandma.  They got married when she was only seventeen.  That was just before he left for war.
   She says when my grandfather came back, he could have gone to college.  There was some kind of bill where if you fought they would pay for you to go to college, and I guess there were a lot of soldiers who did.  He didn’t want to though, he just wanted to go to work.
   He got a job as a butcher at a grocery store.  There was also a bill that let soldiers by houses for not much money.  He was able to buy a house with the money he had, and he and my great grandma lived there their entire lives.  My great grandma didn’t even need to get a job, they had enough money so that they could stay home and raise their kids.  My mom showed me some pictures.  They’re all black and white.  It’s weird seeing my grandma when she was just a little girl.  I didn’t even recognize her - my mom had to point her out.
   I think I would like to do that.  You can go to college when you get home if you want to.  I would be happy with that.  But I think it would be nice if we had a house to ourselves.  Just a little house.  Maybe out in the country where it’s quiet.  Somewhere that we could be alone.  My mom wouldn’t be there.  Nobody would talk bad about you or about me.  We could spend our whole lives there and take care of our babies.  Maybe we could have a vegetable garden or something and grow our own food.  Maybe we could even have chickens for eggs.  My mom said that’s what my great grandpa and grandma did.  I think that’s real nice.
   I am doing fine.  I went to the doctor.  He says that everything is a-ok.  I’ve got to take lots of vitamins.  The problem is he says I have to come back in for a lot of check-ups.   I think it will be tough to do that without my mom finding out.
   Don’t worry about me.  Please don’t get hurt.

Love,
Twist



Dear Twist,

   Wow.  Things are crazy here.
   I never thought I’d be on the other side of the world but here I am.  I thought it would be different somehow, but mainly it’s just really hot.  There are a lot of bugs and nobody likes the food, but it’s not all that different.
   I like being in the artillery.  I’m the youngest guy in the battery.  My sergeant said that my ears are so big, I shouldn’t even be in this outfit.  He was joking and everybody laughed.  It’s a joke because there’s so much noise when we fire the guns.  A lot of the older crews who were in before the war are losing their hearing.  I always wear my ear plugs though, I am careful.
   A lot of the other men laugh and make jokes about me.  It’s mostly because I’m the youngest and smallest.  It’s kinda like school.  Only recently I started making a lot of jokes too and being silly, and I make everybody laugh instead.  I’m fitting in now.  I think they’re starting to treat me like I’m a little brother or something.  It’s a lot better now than it was in basic training.
   You don’t have to worry about me getting hurt or anything.  In fact, everybody thinks the war will be over without us even seeing any fighting.  A lot of the guys are upset about that.  They wanted to see combat.  It’s like the other day.  We were within range of *redacted*.  They ended up calling it the Battle of *redacted* in the newspapers.  Maybe you heard of it.  Anyway, we all got set up and we were ready for battle.  HQ all made sure we had steak and lobster dinners the night before, because everybody knew some guys would be killed.  Don’t worry though, because I wasn’t going to be one of those guys, I got a free dinner out of it ha ha.  So we only end up firing a few shots to get range from our FO.  Just test shots and that was it.  We ended up sitting around all day and we never even fired a real shot.  They said some of the infantry way up at the front saw combat.  There were a few wounded and a couple of guys got killed.  Those guys are the real heroes, but I never met them.
   So we wait around all day, and stayed the night.  Then the next morning we get the order to pack up our equipment and head off to *redacted*.  That was *redacted* miles away.  The enemy is retreating as fast as they can.  At this rate, the whole war will be over in a few weeks.  I might not even end up in any real fighting.  I kind of want to be at least once.  Not because I think it’s a good thing, but because I want to say I contributed something.  Either way I’ll come home a veteran, but I’d probably feel weird about it if I didn’t see at least some action.
   All pretty much everybody talks about is what they’re going to do when they get home.  A lot of the older guys in the outfit have crummy little apartments and can’t afford houses.  They say they’re worried about not being able to find work when they come home.  I don’t know about that.  I hope everything works out for us.  Your idea about the house is a real nice one.  That’s what I want to do to.  Even if we can’t afford it, I would still be happy.  All I want to do is see you again.  It doesn’t matter where I am as long as I’m with you.
   I think about you all the time.

Love,
Snails



Dear Snails,

   You’re never going to believe this.  I’m so excited.  I felt the baby kick.  All this time none of this has been any fun.  I mean like I was throwing up a lot and crying a lot, but now something actually amazing and good has happened.  I was laying on my bed when I felt it.  I wasn’t even sure it if it was real at first.  I waited a long time, but then it happened again.  Now it happens almost all the time.  I hope you can come home so you can feel it too.
   I think a lot more about the baby now.  Now that it seems so real.  I think what it’s going to be like to hold it, and burp it and stuff.  If I had money I’d go out right now and buy all kinds of stuff.  Like a crib and a stroller and toys for it and things like that.  Do you want a boy or a girl?  I don’t care, I’ll just be happy when it gets here.  We’re going to get to watch it learn how to walk and how to talk.  He or she is going to be real proud of his (her?) daddy, I just know it.  We’re both going to take such good care of it.  I know it’s going to grow up real happy.  It’s going to love me just as much as you love me.  It will be nice when there’s going to be somebody who loves me and needs me again, even when you’re not here.  I hope you get home soon.
   My belly is getting round.  Nobody’s noticed yet, thank goodness.  My boobs are getting bigger too.  Somebody’s going to notice sooner or later, even my dumb mom.  I think I should tell somebody.  I think maybe I should tell Miss Cheerilee.  She’s just about the nicest grown-up that I know.  I bet she would be really helpful, even though she doesn’t have any kids herself.  She’s been real nice to me lately.  If I were older and she weren’t my teacher, she’d probably be my friend.  I’m pretty sure she’d help me keep my secret, and give me lots of advice.  She asks about you.  I tell her that you’re fine and you’re safe, just like you said.
   Please be careful.  I have a lot of nightmares.  Both about you and the baby.  The doctor said that always happens to new parents and it's nothing to worry about.  I hope you don’t have them.
   I’m sending this letter with a care package.  I packed as much stuff as I could afford and got it to the post office while my mom was at work.  I hope you like all the stuff.  I made the peppermint twists myself, and also the cookies and brownies.

Love,
Twist




Dear Twist,

   Well, I finally saw my first combat.  I guess that “saw” isn’t really right since I never saw the enemy, I still fought though, and hard.  It was a couple of weeks ago, on the *redacted*.  We must have shelled them for six or seven hours.  I lost track of time.  All I did was load shells.  I was so tired by the end of it that I just collapsed in the dirt.  So did the other guys.  I can’t believe how much water we drank.  We were just pouring sweat the whole time.  I’ve never worked so hard in my life.  My ears haven’t stopped ringing.
   I was so incredibly sore the next day.  Even worse than basic.  But then the next day we had a lot more shelling to do, and the next day after that.  A few days ago we made it back to base at *redacted* and we finally got to take a shower.  I looked in the mirror and I’ve got real muscles now.  Like even on my chest and stomach.  I’m still pretty skinny compared to the other guys, but nobody’s going to be pushing me around anymore once I get back, that’s for sure.
   We’re moving forward again.  Sometimes we stop and there’s more shelling.  None of it is as long as that first day though.  This one time we were firing and firing and we needed to change out our barrel.  Our gun has a barrel that is supposed to be changed every *redacted* shots.  Our LT ordered us to stop and change it, but then a captain on the radio told him to keep firing.  There was a big argument, and we thought our LT was going to get in trouble, but we kept firing anyway.  Sure enough our shells started falling short.  I heard a rumor that there was a platoon up at the front who heard the shell coming in.  They all ducked for cover, except for this one guy who knew he didn’t have time to get away, just based on the sound of it, and didn’t even bother to run.  The only thing they found were his boots.  Then we got orders to change the barrel, and it turned out that it was the captain who ended up getting removed from command.  It’s kind of funny and fucked up at the same time.  When we were moving up the highway, I saw some burned out civilian vehicles.  There were still people inside.  I hope this war ends soon.
   I miss you.  I showed a picture of you to my sergeant.  He saw it and got real serious and real sad.  He gave it back to me and said I’m a very lucky man.   I think he’s the first person to call me a man, except for when the officers call us all “men.”
   I want to hold you again.  I keep thinking about that day at the falls.  That’s the first place I want to go when I get back.

Love,
Snails




Dear Snails,

   God.  Miss Cheerilee is such a bitch.  I told her I was pregnant.  Then she went behind my back and told my mom.  Now my life is ruined.  I yelled at her, and she said she was sorry but she had to tell my mom because she was required to.  I don’t believe her.  I think she wanted to be mean to me.  Just like everybody else.
   My mom went absolutely nuts.  She yelled at me for like the whole day.  Then she wouldn’t let me go to school for the rest of the week.  She says she’s too embarrassed.  Like it’s her life.  I’m back at school now, but my mom makes fun of me for it.  She says I might as well drop out since my life is over.  I mostly go to school so she can’t yell at me.  Everybody at school knows, and I hear them whispering about me.
   She made me tell her you were the father.  I tried not to tell, but she yelled at me for hours.  When I told her, she started to laugh and got even angrier.  Then she started to make fun of you.  I yelled back at her and told her how brave you were.  You’re a soldier now, and when you get home we’ll get our own house and I’ll never see her again.  Then she told me how stupid I was.  She told me my great grandpa did that a long time ago, but the world has changed and things aren’t like that anymore.  She says you won’t have any money and I’d never be able to afford anything and I might as well have been knocked up by some bum who worked at a fast food restaurant.  I hate her, but I’m worried she’s right about the money.
   The only good thing that’s happened is now my mom is driving me to the doctor’s office.  I had an ultrasound.  I had to drink a whole bunch of water and I couldn’t pee and it was really super uncomfortable.  I got to see the baby though.  I’m sending you a copy of the picture.  Can you see it?  I’m still so excited even though everybody else hates me.
   Did you get the care package I sent you?  I hope you liked it.  I forgot to tell you you can share it with your friends if you want.  I want to make you more, but I don’t think I can.  My mom is always watching me.  I even have to get Applebloom to put this in the mail box for me.  She says her big brother is fighting in the war.  Have you seen him there?  Is he doing OK?  I guess he hasn’t been writing her.
   Stay safe.

Love,
Twist




Dear Twist,

   Everything has gone tits up.  I barely got a chance to write this letter.  All the furloughs and leave have been canceled.  I’m at a fire base and I’m just writing this with a pencil and flashlight.  For the last week, everything has been insane.  This is my first chance to write to you, sorry I couldn’t do it earlier.
   Supplies have always been a problem here.  The old guys call it SNAFU, situation normal, all fucked up.  Clerks send supplies to the wrong company.  Sometimes we get not enough ammo, or maybe way too many rations.  That kind of thing.  But about two weeks ago everything went nuts.  We started running out of everything, and nobody knew what was going on.  Ammo, rations, medical supplies, even fuel.  We stopped moving our front.  Nobody’s telling us anything.  Have you heard anything on the news?  It’s almost like Equestria just decided to stop supplying us one day.  I hope somebody high up is going to pay for this.
   One day, we were providing artillery support and we just completely ran out of shells.  The LT was yelling on the radio, but nothing happened.  So we ended up sitting around for hours and hours waiting.  It was so quiet.  All I could hear was the bugs and the ringing.  It was kinda creepy.  Then this ammo truck pulls up and we finally got a chance to start firing again.
   No sooner had we started then the LT got orders to pull out.   And I don’t just mean pull out, he looked like he was white as a ghost.  He just told us to grab our rifles and run.  We ended up abandoning the guns.  I hadn’t fired my rifle since basic and I started getting worried I’d forgotten how to.  I mean we literally ran.  We got to a troop carrier, and a couple of pickup trucks we’d commandeered from the locals.  Soon as we got back on the highway, we ended up joining this huge column.  Biggest column I ever seen.  Armor and everything.  It looked like the whole army, and we were pulling back.
   Got maybe twenty miles back in what they called a “strategic consolidation.”  Everybody who didn’t have shit for brains called it a retreat.  Everybody in my outfit said it wasn’t far enough.  They ignored us.  Then sure enough we started getting shelled a few minutes later.  Pretty sure it was from our own guns.  I had never been on that end of it before, and I never want to again.  The whole ground shook every time a shell landed.  Shook so hard you could barely stand up, and the shells weren’t even landing close.  Everybody was on the ground.  They were trying to scramble for every bit of cover they could find, like under vehicles.  Some guys were trying to dig into the dirt with their bare hands as they were laying on top of it.  The worst thing about it was when they started walking the shells in our direction. They just kept getting closer and closer.  They must have had an FO.  Nobody trust the locals anymore.  They tell us we’re here to help these people, but I think they’re helping the enemy.
   I saw people die.  I mean people I know.  When the shells started getting closer I ran.  So did everybody else.  My squad ended up in a forest, but we found a road in the morning and made it back to the highway where we got picked up.  People in the forest were taking pot shots at us when we were on our way back again.  Some guys got hit.  We didn’t even have any air cover.  They say there’s no jet fuel.
   That was a few days ago, and we’ve been falling back ever since. We’re completely out of rations.  We’ve been taking rice and water from the locals.  Everybody’s got diarrhea and nobody wants to fight any more.  They’ve started coming into camp at night.  First they were stealing weapons and supplies.  Then they started sabotaging our vehicles.  The other morning we woke up and found that Beers was dead.  Somebody cut his throat while he slept.  Everybody’s real jumpy, and nobody’s getting any sleep.  The only good thing that has happened is they made me a corporal.
   If this keeps up, if we don’t get supplies and reinforcements, we’re going to have to retreat all the way back to the beachhead.  I don’t know what’s going to happen then, cause I don’t think there are enough ships for everybody.  Everybody’s real scared.  I’m scared.
   Say a prayer for me.

Love,
Snails




Snails,

   I hate my life.  Today at school Diamond Tiara called me a slut, and all the girls laughed.  I wanted to call her a slut too, because she is.  But then I’m the one who’s pregnant and has the great big belly so nobody would believe me and everybody would believe her.  Everybody stares at me.  I ended up crying and running home.  I didn’t even go back after lunch.  Nobody called for me.
   My mom says I can’t see you anymore.  I told her she can’t do that and she said oh yes she could.  I said you’re the daddy and you have the right to see me.  She said that you’re just a boy and you’re no good and you probably should be in jail anyway for doing this to me.  I told her I was going to run away from home and marry you.  She laughed and then said I was going to have to stop talking like that, she’d send me away to live at my grandma’s.  I said that was a stupid idea, and grandma is too old to have a new baby in the house.  She said I wouldn’t be raising the baby.  I thought she meant that she was going to take the baby away and raise it herself.  She said no.  She says that I shouldn’t even be having a baby at all.  I’m too young.  My mom says I should have an abortion.
   I don’t know any more.  I have nobody to talk to.  I can’t trust Miss Cheerilee.  My mom hates me.  I wish you were here, but you’re way far away.  Sometimes I feel real stupid.  All of this is my fault.
   I don’t know what to do.

Twist




My dear Twist,

   Nobody knows what’s going on here, except for the high-ups, and they’re not telling us.  Rumors are everywhere.  Every indication is that things are going to get a whole lot worse, and they are already very bad.
   I’ve got some things I want to say to you, even though I’m not very good, but I have to write them down because these might be the last words I’ll ever get to write to you.
   I’m not sorry for anything that I’ve done.  Not for loving you.  Not for having a baby with you.  Not for signing up for the Army or fighting for Princess Celestia.  I know I’m a man, and while things may be frightening and worrisome, I’m not afraid of what might happen to me.  I’m willing to give everything if that means you can be safe at home.
   Twist, my love for you is stronger than life or death.  There’s nothing that could tear me away from you.  Not war, not death, not pain, not even Celestia herself.  My love for my country brought me here, yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s taken me away from you.
   At the darkest moments, when I’m laying in a ditch trying to stay awake, listening to bullets fly over my head, trying to listen for intruders creeping up on me...  In those darkest moments, the memories of the time I’ve shared with you come washing over me and I’m happy again.  It’s hard on me, thinking I’ll never have moments like that again, we’ll never get to grow old together, I’ll never get to see the baby.  Sometimes something whispers to me, maybe it’s the voice of our baby that hasn’t been born yet, and it tells me I’ll be home safe with you again.
   If I don’t, please always remember how much I loved you.  If I die, my last thoughts, my last words will be of you.  Please forgive me for everything I’ve ever done to embarrass you or cause you any pain.  I know how ugly and foolish I’ve been.  I’d do anything to make it up for you if I could.
   Oh god, Twist.  I don’t know what happens in the afterlife.  I don’t even know if there is one.  If there is, though, if people can come back as spirits, and watch the living again, then believe me when I say that’s what I’ll do.  If you ever feel something, and you wonder, that will be me.  If you go to that place again, those falls, on a summer day just like that last time.  If you see a glimmer of gold on the water, or a soft cool breeze drying your beautiful skin, please think that that’s me.  Don’t grieve for me if I die, Twist.  Just think of me as I’m waiting for you in some other place and we’ll see each other again someday.

I love you, forever and ever, wherever I am,
Snails

P.S.  As bad as the supplies are here, so is the mail.  Could you please date and number your letters?  I don’t want to miss anything.  The last one I got was about how you want to have a house like your great grandpa did after he got back from the war.  I’ve read that one a million times.