ShittyWritefag story Parte TRES

As John and his band of misfits, band of....misfits? Nah, fuck that. As John and his band of bros moved further inland they came across all manner of strange sights. The one that stuck out in John’s mind was a group of Orcs gang-raping an elf shota. Sure, John was a bit disgusted, but damn son, those Orcs were some of the HEALTHIEST Monstergirls he’d ever seen. Those curves were something else. However when they broke the shota’s legs to prevent him from escaping, John declared “Fuck that shit” and crept off back into the bushes to rejoin the party making camp.

“Y-you’re back, Anon!” called out Avina. She was always the first to see him come back from wherever he went, or when he slunk off to fap. John couldn’t tolerate the thought of his bros catching him fap. Unbeknownst to him, Avina quietly followed him and watched him do it from a nearby tree. But this was irrelevant information, and if John found out that he was caught, there’d be no telling what would happen.

Fish-Sticks was making some stew for the group to eat. It smelled fucking oishii, and John asked “Hey Fish-Sticks, what smells so good?”.
“Oh, it’s fish stew” she replied. “
Wait, what? Fish? But...but you’re a mermaid”
“So, don’t you humans eat monkeys? It’s the same difference”


John was visibly distraught at the idea of eating a monkey; he was from the fucking first world, where you didn’t have to eat shit like that to survive. Anyway John sat down in the small circle of bros, and mermaid, and started eating the fish stew. It smelled really fucking good. And then he tasted it, and spat it back into the bowl. “This tastes like shit”. Fish-Sticks turned really red, and squealed “I-it’s not like I made it especially for you or anything b-b-baka~” and she punched him in the arm. John then punched her right in her stupid fucking face. “Tsundere a shit, get the fuck out”. John was really, really beginning to despise this mermaid bitch.


They travelled on in silence, John contemplating why none of the girls made any advances on him, I mean he was the fucking centre of a group of all Monstergirls, why weren’t they craving his dick. Why weren’t they fighting over him like crazy? Nah, they were prboably schlicking to him whenever he left on one of his “scouting expeditions”. “Yeah, that must be it” he said aloud. “What must be it Ser Anon?” quizzed Avina. “Eh, nandatte?” replied John. To his surprise his further thoughts were interrupted when someone yelled “WHAT ARE YOU? CASUL?!”.

What the fuck was that. Was John imagining things? He slowly turned his helmeted head towards the direction of the outburst, and saw a man, surrounded by monstergirls. Now, John could try to describe this man, but whenever he tried, all that came to mind was the words “undefined”. He couldn’t describe the hair or eye colour, or the facial features either. And what’s worse, is that John could practically feel the pleb-taste oozing out of this fucker, the fucker who just yelled out something from a Dark Souls video. It was clear he didn’t belong. The fucker then greeted John with a:

“Sup, You look a bit like Havel the Rock, now, your primitive mind may struggle to comprehend just who Havel is, and you’ve probably never heard of an Xbox360 either, but I just want to make perfectly clear, that I’m better than you”. The fuck was this faggot spewing, at least John was right about him being a faggot.  The faggot continued to speak “Well, you see, I’m the MC, the MC of what you ask? I’m the MC of one of those MonMusu writefag stories from 4chan. Hahaha a primitive like you probably has no fucking idea what I’m talking about, but rest assured. I’m better than you in every way”. John couldn’t believe this shit. “And as you see, because I’m the MC of a writefag story, I have access to ‘Plot Armour’ which means I can’t be killed, and plot armour is better than any pathetic shitspell you can conjure up with your shitty secondary or tertiary character magic. Yes, I am basically a God!”

John looked past this conceited fucker and took a look at the MonserGirls following him. There was a (grinning) Manticore, a Cheshire Cat, A Dullahan, a Lizardman with a flaming tail, a slime and some Skeletons. “Ah, I see you’re admiring my Harem. It’s really great, I fuck all of them whenever I want and they all just bend over for me, because I’m the MC. You know how usually MGs are all about monogamy? These bitches have competitions to see who can pleasure me the most, and who I should take as my Bride, let me tell you a secret”. The fucker then leans in to John and whispers, “I’ll never chose one, that way I can keep fucking all of them, and If I get in a sticky situation, I can just Pull an Ichika from Infinite Stratos, which is a great show, I can't wait for season 3” He withdrew back laughing. John was done with this shit, he was so done. “Infinite Shit you surely mean", he whispered as he plunged the halberd into the fuckers back, and pierced him all the way through, and as John lifted the Halberd and the fucker slid down to the handle, John started yelling. “WHERE THE FUCKS YOUR PLOT ARMOUR NOW YOU SHITTY INSERTBAIT GARY STU PIECE OF SHIT. WHERE’S YOUR ‘I’M BASICALLY A GOD’ NOW YOU FUCKING PLEB TIER FAGGOT. HAREMSHIT IS FUCKING DESGUSTING YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKING FAGGOT. HAHAHAHA SELF INSERT CHARACTERS ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH YOU OP PIECE OF SHIT. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE”. As John was screaming His lungs out, the fuckers harem decided to get uppity, The Manticore fired off a few fuckhuge spikes from her tail, which John skilfully blocked with his tower shield, The dullahan and the Flaming Lizardman were withdrawing their blades only to-.


 “FUCK YEAH” John yelled as his bros came in to back him up. The Dullahan was picked up by Centorea’s lance, and the harpy clawed out the eyes of the flaming lizardgirl. Black bolts of pure edge whistled by John’s head and disintegrated the slime and a few skeletons. John withdrew his halberd from the fallen faggot, and used it to crush the rest of the skeletons left standing. Only the Cheshire Cat remained alive, and she just lay there crying over the body of her previous master. “Bitch, get the fuck up and stop crying, I can’t stand that shit”. John’s vision was beginning to clear. “That cunt had it coming, not only did he spew total bullshit, but he acted insane. This isn’t just some fucking writefag story, I was jenuinely struggling to survive before I met all my bros”.  “A-are you also building a harem?” the Cheshire cat enquired. “Fuck that, I’m out to get rich and famous, and adventure with all my MonsterBro girls. Feel free to join in if you want”. John bent down, and soaked a finger in the other Anon’s blood, and wrote “Plot Armour” on his chestplate, just to be safe. However, he was confused by one tiny detail, where the fuck did those edgy black bolts come from, and as he wheeled around he saw knife Ears, only her skin was blue and her eyes red. She also had a long black slender tail with a heart on the end. Some bat wings sprouted from her back, and some large horns adorned her head. “I’m actually a succubus”, she said, her words trickled out laden with sweetness just like honey, and caressed John’s ears.

END OF PART 3