The Tell Tale Fart

>Be me
>Be walking around Canterlot Castle at night because I have special Anon privelages.
>Quiet as fuck, however quite peaceful.
>Stand on random balcony and take in the beauty of the night, the sereneness of the full moon glistening with shimmering stars.
>I stare out o'er the mirroring rivers, combining the heavens and sea, as if I stand upon the precipice of God's kingdom itself.
>I hear no birds singing their songs, nor do I hear the bustle of ponies at work.
>I am at peace, and solemn silence.
>Suddenly I hear a loud fart out of nowhere that breaks the eminant silence.
>I turn around to see Princess Luna, messily eating a grilled cheese sandwich.
>She talks with her mouth full "WHAT?"
> I roll my eyes at her, trying to insinuate that I was enjoying the peaceful moment of her night.
>"Whatever, weirdo." She spat at as she shoved more grilled cheese sandwich into her mouth.
>She began farting even more as the power of her farts scooted her further with every step she took.
>I take a deep breath and turn back around to reclaim my peaceful state of mind.
>Suddenly I feel a small drip on my scalp. I reach my fingers in fear that it may be droppings of an insomniac avian.
>It was sticky, and hot.
>I brought it to my nostrils and eventually my tongue.
>Huh. Cheese.
>I look up and quickly see a black blur wisk by, followed by several loud farts.
> Huh. That's interesting.
>I go to unravel this 'Mystery Cheese Droppings' mystery.
>My every step echoes across the marbled tiles of the elongated hall. Ach, twere it not for my welcomeness in such a place a loon for a bugler I'd be!
>Upon mine footsteps I began hearing a distant echo, quaint to the ones I had earlier received.
>A footstep, followed by a passing of wind, another verse of such, growing in accelerandous symphony.
>Twere it be cacophony at mine ears, as my footsteps churned into strides of panic. The allegro was matched by the passing of wind.
>This feeling, this dread. What horrors await behind mine back?
>What foul daemon give chase, and what machinations doth it store for me?
>My strides crescendo into sprints, a sting of dread, and adrenal within mine veins!
>AND FOR EVERY STEP ANOTHER RIPOSTE OF BROKEN WIND!
>I collide with the marble walls, sending an armoured equine bust aloft. Mine arms wretched up mine face.
>"OH WHAT WICKED BEAST THAT STALKS, GIVE INTO MINE DEATH! FOR I CANNOT STAND THIS FRENZIED CHASE!
>"God Anon, your so dramatic."
>I peer, vexed from within my shelter. T'was Princess Luna!
>I stumble to my feet with the grace of a sailor as she offers her messy hoof.
>"I just wanted to give you this...."
>She shoves a grilled cheese sandwich in my mouth, and runs off, farting the entire way.
>I slowly break from my haze of confusion and dismay as I bite down upon the gifted meal.
>Is that a hair? HOW ATROCIOUS!
> I refuse mine mouth this refuse! A pox upon thee Luna! A POX UPON THEE!
>As my Poe driven drivel began to calm, I noticed the tiles beneath me.
>Were... they always this.... wobbly?
>I look at my hand, and notice it looking back at me.
>"Hello Anon."
>I wave to my hand with my hand.
>Suddenly the walls begin to drip around me, as the dark night grew and catropsinated into a daytime melody of flourescent colours!
>My steps feel as if in quagmire, I can barely lift a leg!
> By what wicked scents have driven me here? What horrid ails lurks from within my own stomach?
>I rip off my shirt, and see my belly protrude, morphing, changing, vibrating...Ah yes...
>"The aching of my self must be within!"
>I plunge my hand deep within my gut, every thrust harder, sharper than before!
>"THIS WICKED SCENT THAT PERMEATES ME SO, I CAST THEE OUT!"
>I clench my eyes in pain and scream unto the heavens.
>Then all is dark.
>I come to.

>"Where am I?" I ask as my vision slowly returns to me.
>"Oh hi Anon! Did you like my sandwich?"
>I brace from the shock, there she was, once again, staring me in the eye. Princess Luna, that foul she devil!
>" I made it especially for you Anon!"
>Damn! My eyes still can't adjust in this darkness! I'm alone in the dark! WITH A MESSY PONY!
>"Oh you can't see? Here let me help!"
>I hear a faint shuffling, followed by a light glow. A mysterious light, coming from utter blackness.
>"Princess, your illumination does me great relief."
>I can see the hovering light come closer and closer to me, my insides knot at the sight. This was somehow more dreadful than our noxious chase!
>"Oh Anon, how long have I watched you from afar! The one person who understands the silence of the night, the man who make this royal mare, into a giddy filly.
>I feel her hooves around mine, as she draws me in closer. Disgust frothing at my brow, I shudder at the thought!
>"You who can make this magic within me!"
>I can feel her hot breath, it reeks of stale fish and cheese.
>"I want to share all of my light with you Anon."
>I draw back slightly, as her horn illuminates.... my jaw agape in forlorn horror. For beneath that amourous face, and headlit horn, lay a culture of fungus, glowing twain her nether.
>"MOTHER OF GOD!" I begin to scream. I struggle franctically to flee the terrible sight.
>"NO NO NO, YOU STAY PUT, MAKE ME WHOLE ANON."
>"Ahhhhhhhhhh AHHHHHHHHHH HEELLLLLLLLLLP HEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPP" I plead for someone to hear.
>AH! That silohette could it be? My Saviour! My Friend! My Liege! Princess Celestia!
>Wait... where are you going? Why are you turning your head....are you...forsaking me?
>"I'm sorry Anon, but this is the way it was chosen to be."
>"Please....no...." I whimper as I feel the thrusting of slime upon my being.
>The palpatations and rhythms of cracking flesh are but deafening to me.
>The feeling of piercing rancid, oozing flesh, as I felt the creature reel me in further.
>A horror, a horror! Are my loins to be devoured?
>"Oh Anon. That. Feels. So. GOOD." Luna yelped between flatulent thrusts.
>The stink, THAT WRETCHED STINK! It came from below! I KNEW WHAT CAUSED THE CHEESE DROPPINGS, AND TWAS I BEING CONSUMED BY IT!
>My anguish in pillage, in disgust, and in realization, my vision goes dark once more.


> I wake up, a slight glow eminated from beneath me. I lift my arm to find it pinned, followed by a thin line of drool.

>The deed had been done, but lo...LO WAS MY WRATH FIERCE! I snuck into the bath quarters and I SHEATED a wicked loofah. I cackled madly as I lathered the loofah with fancy soaps and shampoos, and in that room....where that WRETCHED LIGHT SHINETH,
>OH THE SHINING OF THAT HORRID LIGHT! I SHALL HAVE NO MORE!
>I leap unto the bed and thrust the Loofah over and over again, Princess Luna in full panic and fear.
>"BE CLEANSED! BE CLEANSED! DAMN YOU TO HELL YOU SHALL BE CLEANSED!"
> I draw back upon my weapon, and drop it to the floor.
>"Wh---what have I done?"
>I fall to my knees as I pray to my God.
>"OH LORD WHAT HAVE I DONE?"
>Suddenly the light turns back on.
>"Aw man Anon, now we can't have anymore grilled cheese sandwiches.
>I vomit profusely, as Luna giggled.
>"I guess I did rub off you a little Anon?"
> I'm never staying up late again.