FightAnon Part 1- Shining and Cadence at Crystal Hall

>"Come spar with me bro."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU ARE FIGHTING SHINING ARMOR (LV. 14 UNICORN), LEADER OF THE ROYAL GUARD.

Before you stands a tall unicorn with blue hair and white fur. Even though you two are fighting, you can tell he's not serious. He beckons you to make the first move.

ATTACK MENU
>Close Comat
>Ranged
SPELL MENU
>Heal 25% Health
ACTIONS
>Talk
>Gesture (Rude, Approval)
>Change Equips
>Summon Backup
>Sexual Advancement
ITEMS MENU (changeable)
>30hp potion
>10mana potion
STATUS MENU
>Body Armor:Suit
>Weapon:Fists
>Bits:100
>Health:85/100
>Mana:50/50
>Ailments:None
RUN MENU
>Flee
>Surrender/Grant Mercy
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
STATUS MENU:
You are a tall human. You are currently wearing a fabric suit for body armor and using your fists as weapons. You are wearing no misc. equips.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You ask Shining about his day. He replies with a hoof to the jaw.
>Anon:90/100hp
You yell "Weak! Your mom nailed me harder than that!"

You run at Shining and get a few bicycle kicks in before Shining jabs you in the ribs with his horn.
Shining:90/100
Anon:85/100
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You get up close to Shining. Anticipating a strike, he is surprised when you French kiss him instead. He blushes a little bit.
"ANONWHATDIDITELLYOUABOUTMYHUSBAND" can be heard from across the hall.
>Cadence has joined the fray!

YOU ARE FIGHTING SHINING ARMOR (LV. 14 UNICORN), LEADER OF THE ROYAL GUARD, AS WELL AS CADENCE (LV. 15 ALICORN), THE CRYSTAL EMPRESS.

Before you stands a tall unicorn with blue hair and white fur. His obviously pissed wife is standing next to him, intending to ruin the fun.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You attempt to apologize to Cadence. Shrieking, she reminds you how this is the third time this year she's caught you molesting her husband, and complains about how lewd your conduct is in general. Shining suggests she vents her anger via sparring with you two, which she agrees to.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cadence issa chargin' her lazer.
Shining summons a horde of parasprites to nibble on you! They do nothing, since parasprites don't eat people!

Cadence:200/200hp
Shining:90/100hp
Anon:85/100hp
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You attempt to speak, but your voice is drowned over the lazer.

Cadence issa firing her lazer, but Shining has joined your side! His shield negates all damage.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You grab Shining's tail and start using him as a Gatling gun. You deal 50 points of damage to Cadence.

Shining, since his horn has to cooldown, attempts to charge his wife. However, Cadence uses her magic to squeeze the two of you's balls and effectively stops him in his tracks. She also deals 20 damage to both of you.

Cadence: 150/200hp
Shining: 70/100hp, arousal at 25%
Anon: 65/100hp, arousal at 1%
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You drink your healing potion. It tastes a little like eggnog.

Shining Armor takes a moment to equip his armor and spear.

Cadence uses a Ticket of Alicorn Privilege (TAP) to get two turns in one. She equips a riding crop and playfully slaps Shining with it, dealing 5 damage.

Cadence: 150/200hp
Shining: 65/100hp, arousal at 25%
Anon:95/100hp
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You whisper to Shining a plan. He nods in agreement as Cadence looks on in anticipation. "TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH" can be heard through the hall as Shining uses sheer willpower to charge his sexual advancement. But like Venasaur, his best just isn't enough and he'll have to attack next turn.

Not wanting to incur the wrath of Cadence, you choose to give Shining a meatshield instead of a hand. With any luck Cadence won't OHKO you.

Cadence, upon seeing this display decides to charge up a different attack. Her wings extend and an ear-shattering scream rings out as a ring of green flames encircles her ground beneath her. It appears the two will attack each other next turn.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You decide to see where this goes and back off to a hopefully safe distance.

Shining Armor's dick is a longer than his body now, and with a hefty war cry he lunges cock first at his wife. Just as his cock enters Cadence's mouth so she can STFU, the green hellfire makes a column around the two. As the column dissipates, you see Shining on the floor and Cadence swallowing semen. You don't know how long Shining will last...

Cadence:100/200hp, arousal at 50%
Shining: 1/100hp
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Giving up on Shining, you surprise Cadence with a shoryuken. All the semen in her throat instantly shoots out, though the semen in her belly stays. Shining is sprayed by the semen and a little gets in his mouth.

Cadence flies into the air and weakly divebombs you.

Cadence: 120/200hp, arousal at 50%
Shining: 10/100hp, arousal at 1%
Anon: 70/100hp
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Knowing how much of a slut Cadence was, you concoc(k)t a brilliant plan of attack. You flank Cadence and swing your fist at her face. She winces, but no pain comes. She opens her eyes as you cockslap her in a frenzy, dealing 5 damage. She blushes.

Shining can only grin and nod in bropproval. You can see he's drunk out of a flask and is slowly rising.

Cadence: 115/200hp, arousal at 60%
Shining: 60/100hp
Anon:70/100hp
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You grab Shining Armor by the jaw and force your tongue into his mouth. Confused but aroused, Shining goes along with it.

Cadence is slightly aroused by the act, but she still kicks you in the head for it.

Cadence: 115/200hp, arousal at 65%
Shining: 60/100hp
Anon: 50/100hp
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You realize that in his current state, Shining's Gatling attack wouldn't do as much damage as before. Instead you take his spear and throw it while he fires a bolt of magic at the same time. The resulting combo deals 40 damage to Cadence.

Cadence decides to copypasta your attack. You and Shining take 20 damage each.

Cadence: 75/200hp, arousal at 55%
Shining: 40/100hp
Anon:30/100hp
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You urge Shining to heal himself. You both use Starswirl's Basic Remedy, healing 25hp each.

Cadence summons John Cena for half of her mana. All you can see is Shining flailing in the air as he wonders what the hell is going on.

Cadence: 75/200hp, arousal at 45%
Shining: 10/100hp
Anon: 55/100hp
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You decide you need to heal again. You and Shining use both use SBR on him, giving him 50hp.

Cadence is drained from her last spell and must recharge.

Cadence: 75/200hp, arousal at 40%, 250/500mana
Shining: 60/100hp, 80/100mana
Anon: 55/100hp, 30/50mana
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You decide to smash Cadence's memes into dreams. You whisper another plan into Shining's ear. He smiles.

Shining charges Cadence, his horn glowing. She throws up a magical shield, anticipating a joust. Instead, Shining disappears, and you pop up behind her. You grab her by the torso, and with some difficulty you manage to hoist her above you and suplex her. As she stands up, Shining body slams her from a conveniently placed column of magic. Your combined efforts deal 50 damage.

Cadence, though shaky, pulls off a kaioken for 50 mana. Her attack, defense, and health are boosted.

Cadence: 40/200hp, +15%damage, +15%defense, 200/500mana, arousal at 30%
Shining: 60/100hp, 75/100mana
Anon: 55/100hp, 30/50mana
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With that kaioken of hers, Cadence probably isn't going down unless you end this now. You pull out a scroll, biting your thumb and smearing a line of blood across the incantation circle. You summon Kamaitachi (cut caused by a whirlind). A flurry of blades rush out of the paper and attack Cadence as a tornado-esque column of steel. Your attack does 35 damage.

Shining walks over to his half-concious wife and slaps her with his shaft until he deals 5 damage.

CADENCE IS UNCONCIOUS! ANON AND SHINING HAVE WON THE BATTLE!
SHINING HAS GAINED 10XP AND OG!
ANON HAS GAINED 20XP AND OG