shark's quest thing

yeah, i got no cards or anything set up on there
[JargonScott]
[Auroral] AuroralalsoI just got an email frmo my dad>Just wanted to wish you a happy holiday. I made teak, hah brown and green beans for my dinnerthe fuck is teak?
[NakedSharks] NakedSharkssteak
[Auroral] AuroralahI guess so
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksBangers and mash, hold the mash
[Auroral] Auroralthanks sharks
[Auroral] Auroralmznit snowed so, so much today
[Auroral] AuroralI even took picshttp://postimg.org/image/aux9ytuw9/http://postimg.org/image/gul12hfop/all that white stuff is snow, just from today
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeIt is weird that you'd get snow so early.
[Auroral] Auroralactuallywe've had snow in august beforeif anythingits late
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeOh.Honestly, it don't look like very much.
[LBZicarus] LBZicaruswow
[Auroral] Auroralit wasn;t, but it snw=owed pretty heavly for a little bit
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] Snowglobehttp://autistickamillebidan.tumblr.com/post/134023318538/takashi0-valentinakerman-lets-play-the-feud
[Auroral] Auroralpfffffffffft
[LBZicarus] LBZicaruskek
booby
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksforboden
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] Snowglobe38 points to Jargon.
wooooooo
[JargonScott]
how do i redeem themi want a new toaster
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksToasters are forboden
aaaaa
[JargonScott]
[Auroral] Auroralaaaaa
[LBZicarus] LBZicarusaaaaa
[Auroral] Auroralbed
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksDameSame
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] Snowglobe>"Same, dame." said DetectiveSharks, taking another long drag of her cigarette.>She was sweating bullets.
how the fug does a shark smoke underwater
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeIn a very hardboiled fashion.
/r/ing noir sharkspone
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharkshardboiled
[LoreLove] [Moderator] LoreLoveGood movie
never seen it
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeSame.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou are feeling particularly hard boiled tonight.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeAm I about to sleuth some problems?
sleuth my problems
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksButYou guys gotta retrieve arms first
muh arms
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] Snowglobe>retrieve arms from decorative shark
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou've already got arms!
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeIs the rest of our body intact?
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksDon't worry about it too much
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeWell then let's take a case.A hardboiled one.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksAlright, well
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou're broken out of your revelry like the glass on your office door as a hysterical dame barges in. She seems like she'd be a high-falootin' type if it weren't for the mascara running down her cheeks.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeSell running shoes to the mascara.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou can barely understand what she's saying amidst her babbling, but it all becomes clear when she stops and asks, "What the hell happened to your body?"And just like that, you've got your first caseWhat the hell happened to your body
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeWell, I asked the shark that, and the shark kinda brushed me off.Obviously, the wily predator ate part of me.To the aquarium!
we need to get revenge
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou make your way to the aquarium to investigate exactly what happened to your body. The hysterical dame is left in your office to her own confused devices.
call the office and tell her to keep her hysteria out of our scotchand out of Scotch
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeYeah, Scotch tops.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksThe aquarium is leagues cooler than the muggy heat of the bustling city. It must be all the fishtanks in the are. You think fishes are pretty cool.You call your office.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksAfter a moment, you hear the phone picked up and dropped repeatedly. This woman would make an awful secretary.You tell her promptly to keep her hands, feet, and hysteria to herself, and to stay out of Scotch.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksHanging up, you proceed into the atrium of the aquarium.>You are now inside the aquarium
find the tank with the sharks in it
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeYes, while evading the shark's security goons.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou locate an itemized list/map/grocery list in the hands of the aquarium curator and try to determine the location of the shark tank. As you do this, the aquarium curator asks you to kindly return his map.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeReturn it in far too kind a manner.
use our photographic memory on the list, then return it
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksAs you move, you stick to the shadows and attempt to evade the small, laughing child guards. The smaller they are the more, nimble, as you've come to learn. Obviously, this shark anticipates your arrival. You steel your nerves.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou slip the map back into the curator's pocket when you're done. No need to put him through the trouble of taking it from you. On the way, your hand finds a wallet. Lucky you!
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] Snowglobeoh man we are the best crime perpetrator i mean solver
hey gotta break a few eggs every now and then
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou win some you lose someOh, rightSo>You find yourself at the entrance of the shark exhibit
he's got something of ours, and we're gonna take it back by force if need be
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeYes. Locate the traitorus shark.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou enter the shark exhibit.There are no sharks.
hhhhh
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksInside the spacious aquarium space, you only find empty tanks, several scatted an soaked bits of paper, and a handful of waterproof playing cards.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeExamine cards using detective skills/tools.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksThe cards are adorned with images of nobility in sharky likeness. And spades, or whatever. There are bites taken out of most of heart cards, any others seemingly lost or otherwise missing. Must be a shark thing.>Do you dust for fingerprints?
yes
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksSharks don't have fingers!
aw shiet
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou managed to pull a set of fingerprints.
they're gone, because the water washed them off
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou'll need to take them back to the lab to examine further.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeWhile we're at it, let's examine that body of ours.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksUpon examining your body, you realize that you seem to have misplaced it. In its stead is an outstandingly over-sized egg. This must be why you felt so hardboiled tonight. In your suit pocket, you find shreds of some printed, waterproof material.It's a piece of a playing card.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] Snowglobewhat the
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeAre we a...shark egg?
:O
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharks>You stand waterlogged in the middle of the empty shark tank. Your body has been replaced by an egg and you continue to feel particularly hardboiled. What do?
we need to take the prints back to the lab
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeYeah.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksPulling yourself out of the shark tank, you begin to ponder exactly when things went wrong. You trace it back to when you first started the day.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou figure that your must have lost your body whilst exchanging with the decorative shark, and the card shreds in your pocket confirm that, but the only direction that points you is back to the aquarium, which points you back to your office.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksDeciding you'd rather not trap yourself in a recursive loop, you consider the fingerprints you managed to pull from the cards
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksBack out in the stagnant heat and flickering streetlights of the city, you leave the hubbub of the aquarium behind. Your office is only a small walk. You pick up donuts along the way.
yay
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksOnce inside your office, you find a mess of artificial feathers strewn about and a distinct lack of dame. The old gal must have made her own way out in a hurry. You're glad she's not your secretary. Someone could have called while she was gone!Speaking of, the phone begins to ring.
answer phonesay 'who this is'
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharks"Hello? Yes, my wallet's been stolen and I need someone to investigate. I can provide a description, and I should have his fingerprints on some of my papers if you-"
aaaaaaaa
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksOh, right! Fingerprints! That's why you came back to your office!
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou put the phone down and make your way over to records and seek out fingerprints for cross-examination.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksAs you move through the records and narrowing down the possibilities, you come to a startling conclusion.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksThe fingerprints belong to...Yourself!
we've been framedsomeone has it out for us
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksEither the sharks have been using your hands to handle their playing cards, given their distinct lack of hands, or your body took a shot at the old paper suits.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksIn case of the latter, you hope your body brought its own money. You can't afford to fuel its gambling addiction.Another possibility is that you were irresponsible and didn't wear gloves when handling the playing cards, but you'd rather not think about that.
we're a hard boiled professionalwe wouldn't slip up like that
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharks>You sit in your office, stuck in an investigational quagmire. Your leads have all but dried up, you're sorely lacking a secretary/dame, and the only sounds that fill the air are the passing cars and the man quabbling incessintly on phone.>What do?
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeAsk him if he's noticed anyone gambling near his establishment.
ask if he knows any dames
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou pick the phone up and ask the man on the other end if he's seen any gambling dame establishments nearby as of late. Or any dames gambling establishments. You've always had a thing for a broad with high stakes.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksHe sputters and mentions that the sharks at the aquarium he curates leave every year for the De-Lux: Open House Card Shark Tourney (Free admission). They're the only ones he knows of that gamble.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksAs it stands, they've already left for this season, and won't be back for the next week. There's a bus that runs directly from the nearest terminal straight to the De-Lux Casino (Free admission)
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeIt's obviously a trap.Build a decoy and put that on the bus.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksThe man on the other end begins asking what trap you're talking about as you drop the phone and begin hashing together a decoy for this obvious trap.The sharks want to lure you in with your body, so you'll just bait-and-switch them back. It's perfect!
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksWith what little supplies you scrape up in your office (a paperclip, two bobby pins, a mess of artificial feathers, and an egg you were planning on eating for lunch before you realized you hated eggs) you construct a rough facsimile of your devlish self.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksIt's woefully undersized because you could only find a regular chicken egg, but as far as you understand sharks tend to have a low rate of literacy and education, so you hope that means they're not smart enough to realize the difference.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharks>You and Mini-Sleuth sit at the bus terminal. The time is 11:45 PM and the next bus arrives in ten minutes. You've got an itch on your nose and your bladder's half-full. What do?
itch nose and wait for buss
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou decide to itch your nose while leaving your bladder unattended. Public restrooms be damned. Within minutes, the bus squeaks to a halt before you. From what you can see, there's no one on but the half-asleep driver.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharks>The doors hiss open as if announcing your welcome. It is unnerving to you. You assume it unnerves Mini-Sleuth, as well. What do?
console mini-sleuth after we get on the bus
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou board the buss and whisper reassuring hushes to Mini-Sleuth. Mini-Sleuth is an inanimate object and does not return your feelings.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksAs the bus begins to move, you realize that you might not have want to get on the bus at the same time as your decoy. Mini-Sleuth lowers his head in shame.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharks>It seems that, for better or worse, you are on your way to the De-Lux Casino: Open House Card Shark Tourney (Free admission). What do?
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeRelieve driver of his wallet.
he don't need it
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou notice that the driver seems to be weighed down by a multitude of things. She hasn't been getting enough sleep, her neighbors have been arguing all night. Her schedule's been full for the past week and she's been denied vacation days.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksShe's been wondering what her friends have been up to for a while, but hasn't had the time to call. Most of all, her work pants haven't been fitted properly, so her wallet's been chafing her thigh all morning.You nod as you complete your assessment, and like the good community member you are, decide to help with that last part by relieving her of her wallet.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeHooray. Go us.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksGood thing too, this thing's pretty heavy. You can't imagine the kind of weight you've just lifted off the bus driver's shoulder (and pockets).
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksAs you organize your wallets by texture, the bus pulls to a stop in front of what appears to be the brightest building you've seen in all two days you've been working as an investigator
[NakedSharks] NakedSharks>The doors hiss open once more as you step out into this foreign city, hotter and muggier than the last. You feel Mini-Sleuth drop a bobby pin in anticipation. Before you is the entrance to the De-Lux Casino (Free admission). What do?
freely admise ourself into the establishment
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] Snowglobeadmise?
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYou are stopped by a burly man in decidedly tacky Vegas dancer tattoos and an ill-fitting shirt. Dear god he could take your entire head in one hand. "There's a $10 entrance fee, in case you didn't know."
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeEgg vore him.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksSnow what
snow what
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeI dunno.Devour him, but we are an egg.
eggsimilate him
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeHe will be one with the yolk.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksThe burlesque man is unimpressed with your gnawing, though you do learn that his tattoos share their likeness to vegas dancers in more ways than just visually. He also informs you that that is the improper use of the word burlesque.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeTell him we don't have ten bucks, but ask if he has change for eight does.
damn no wonder the busdriver's wallet was so thick
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksHe says he's feeling generous, so he'll give you a knuckle sandwich for free if you keep it up. That being said, you are feeling a mite peckish.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeHere's 11. Tell me where to get a good sandwich.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksWith food in mind and a slightly-more-than-half full bladder, you feel a sense of urgency being to press down on you, though that might just be Mini-Sleuth.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksThe bouncer takes your money and tells you there's a bar in the back of the casino that makes deli-style sandwiches. Good if you've got money to spend cause it's expensive as hell
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksWasting no time, you make your way into the brightly lit interior of the casinoI think I'm gonna have to cut it here, I'm feeling kid of woozy
you ok sharks?sleepy woozy or sick woozyor radscorpion woozy
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksMostly sleepyRadscorpions are a problem thoughGotta watch out for them
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeYeah, especially on holidays.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksDid that count as a quest?
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeThe good cheer lures them out.Yes it did.You quested, and it started with a typo.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksGoddamn
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksQuesting's hard
it was good quest thoand questing is hard
[JargonScott]
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeYeah, it can be.Fun though.
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeAnd yeah, you actually did very well.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksThank
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksI've mostly gotten my experience from GMing DnD and Pathfinder so I've had similar-but-not-the-same experience
[Snowglobe] [Moderator] SnowglobeMakes sense.
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksYowPicarto just crashed on me
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksI was debating whether or not to make a log of the quest, but it seems like Picarto made that decision for me
i can get it if you'd like
[JargonScott]
[NakedSharks] NakedSharksCould you?