Pastebin launched a little side project called VERYVIRAL.com, check it out ;-) Want more features on Pastebin? Sign Up, it's FREE!
Guest

My Roomate Bruno 5

By: MrFluffyVegas on May 3rd, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.63 KB  |  views: 258  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. >let's assess the situation
  2. >you've got an angry feral fluffy who has declared himself Regent Lord of your living room
  3. >a small herd of fluffies from your roommate's magic safe room working as his private army
  4. >and a roommate who does not abide by fluffy violence of any kind, and would probably have no problem killing you if he came home and found a decapitated fluffy pony
  5. >options:
  6. >you could rush in and take the smarty friend out right away (not like their dirty sock volley is in anyway effective), but you couldn't ensure fluffies wouldn't be hurt, and you don't want that
  7. >you could just wait in your room for this whole thing to blow over
  8. >"fwuffy need make poopies! no wanna make bad poopies!"
  9. >"Just go anywhere. Dis fwuffy wand now!"
  10. >so it looks like sitting this one out isn't an option unless you feel like spending the night cleaning the carpet
  11. >from your tactical position behind the living room chair, you call out to your enemy
  12. I don't suppose you'd be willing to settle this one-on-one you demented little fuzz ball?
  13. >"Smawty Fwiend no wisten to stoopid hooman!"
  14. Didn't think so.
  15. >damn, Bruno doesn't even keep a Sorry Stick around, otherwise you could scare them off
  16. >you guess he doesn't need one, most fluffies just seem to become docile and calm in his midst
  17. >wait, maybe that could work
  18. Hey fluffies! Look! Bruno's home!"
  19. >the couch becomes a cacophony of "bwuno!" "bwuno back" "giff huggies!"
  20. >they rush from behind the couch as you sneak the other way, moving in on the Smarty Friend
  21. >"whewe bwuno?" "bwuno come back!" "want bwuno"
  22. >"Stoopid Fwuffies! It twick!" Smarty Friend calls out to them but to no avail
  23. >you're about to sneak up on the Smarty Friend and one other straggler fluffy when you hear a crying
  24. >the stragglers starts to cry out "No huwt fwuffy mama! No huwt babehs!"
  25. >it's at this point you notice that its a pregnant fluffy pony
  26. >"Smawty Fwiend stop munsta!"
  27. >the Smarty Friend stands defiant in front of the chubby fluffy dam as you reach in to grab him
  28. >before you get to him, his fluffy battalion congregates once again on top of the couch
  29. >"weve fwuffy mama awone!" one of them cheers as they hurl more ammo at you
  30. >you dodge roll backward, just narrowly avoiding fire... right as you remember that their ammo is non lethal
  31. >doesn't matter, your slip up has given them a chance to regroup, fortifying their position more tightly
  32. >"smawty fwiend defend fwuffy mama!", "you best smawty fwiend!", "hooway"
  33. >great, sounds like your attack has only emboldened your enemy
  34. >okay, plan B, you don't have one
  35. >you look around the room and notice your 360 remote within arm's reach, still powered on
  36. >inspiration strikes