Who Needs Tomorrow?

Part 1: http://pastebin.com/sSk7ZVGt

--

I'm in a long hallway. It looks like the men's dormitory. I quickly get my bearings and start walking, feeling myself pulled by some inexorable force. I wonder where Hicchan is. I continue my journey down the long corridor. As I travel, things look more and more familiar, until I find myself stopping in front of a door: Hicchan's door. I knock lightly.

"Come in, Shiina". I wonder how he knew it was me? Oh well. I open the door to find him sitting on his bed, wearing that stupid sweatervest and a solemn look on his face. He pats the bed next to him and I join him, throwing an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a big hug. For some reason, he... he doesn't return the gesture. He just sits there, as stoic and still as he was when I walked in. He looks almost... sad.

"What's wrong, Hicchan? Aren't you happy to see me~?" He just keeps looking at me like that, with that sad expression. I hate it.

"Everything, Shiina. Everything is wrong. With us, with me..." I... what? He stares daggers at me. I don't know what I did wrong. I must've done something wrong, right?

"Shiina, I can't keep lying to you. Not after everything we've been through." He keeps calling me that. Why's he calling me by my real name? He never... He never does that! I rest my head on his shoulder and try to calm him, but he just won't relax. Won't stop treating me like... like I'm no one. Like I don't matter.

"I don't love you, Shiina. I'm sorry, but I can't. Shizune... she's who I want to be with. She's strong, and confident, and beautiful. I can really see why you loved her, Shiina, and I can't help myself. We can't keep pretending like this. You'll find someone, but I'm not him." I... Why are you doing this, Hicchan? Why do you keep calling me that name? Why do you want to push me away all of a sudden?

Just then, Shicchan walks out of the corner, wearing the same exact expression as Hicchan. The same as that day, when she... when she told me she didn't love me. Her hands fly almost too fast for me to read. "[I'm sorry, Shiina. It has to be this way. We both agreed that you have to leave.]"

I... what? Why are you...

"[He just doesn't feel that way about you, Shiina. I'm sorry, but I think you should leave.]"

Shicchan... You too? I'm not loved, but... but why? I thought... I thought at least Hisao loved me.

"No... Hisao, Shizune, why are you doing this? I-is it something I did? Did I hurt you in some way? Why are you doing this to me!?"

"Things just got carried away between us, Shiina. We... we weren't meant to be. I never wanted to hurt you, but I have to do this. For the both of us." How do you accidentally date someone?! Why is this happening?! Why can't I scream; why can't I scream at him? Tell him how wrong all of this is?!

"[Shiina, if I couldn't love you, how could anyone else, let alone Hisao, ever feel anything for someone like you?]" Is... is that really how you feel, Shizune? Is that really what you think?

"[Now, I think you should go, before you make a scene.]" She grasps me by the arm. I try to jerk my arm back, but I can't move. I'm frozen in place; only she can move me. I can't even move my hands to sign as she leads me to the door. The corridor is gone. Beyond the threshold is only darkness, a bottomless pit of dispair and pain I could never hope to recover from.

I see the last few months flash before my eyes: meeting Hicchan for the first time, finally getting him to join the Student Council, him asking me out at Tanabata, the tear-filled nights to come as he broke down wall after wall that I'd put up to keep everyone out, the first time we made love, and finally, that look of joy I saw on his face when I kissed him tonight.

Every last bit, completely meaningless. All of it, lie after lie.

Utterly. Pointless.

"[Goodbye, Shiina.]"

I feel myself falling, tumbling down the chasm, dread filling me as I know what's coming. I've been here before. Many times, in fact. I know that, when I hit the bottom, I'll-

--

I shoot up in bed, covered in sweat and shaking in fear. I quickly figure out where exactly I am; still in bed with a now-terrified looking Hisao sitting upright next to me. Oh... oh. It was just a dream...

He looks at me with... sadness, and worry, and... and love? Maybe... maybe a little love. "M-misha". He stifles a yawn. "W-what's wrong?" he asks as he holds me, one arm around my side and the other resting on my cheek, brushing away the tears falling from my eyes. I'm crying. Why am I crying?

"H-Hicchan...!" I throw my arms around his shoulders and weep, burying my head in his chest. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't m-mean to wake you up, Hicchan! I just..." He strokes my hair - I love it when he does that - and kisses me lightly on my head, trying to calm me.

"It's okay, M-Misha. I'm here. What happened?" I tell the entire tale to Hicchan, leaving out the part about him not loving me, but the rest of it I'm honest about. I tell him how I've been having nightmares for a while now, each one a bit different from the last. Sometimes it's something silly; that parfait I ate with lunch has come back to take revenge, or my pillows are attacking me. Sometimes it's something serious, like tonight, or how I keep dreaming about the day Shizune rejected me...

I let everything go. Everything I've held bottled up over the last few weeks. I hang on to him and cry my eyes out over the next 30 minutes, just talking and telling him everything I've wanted to say for months now. I guess this is why I wanted Hicchan to stay so badly; I knew I needed someone to be with me, someone to tell everything to and someone to help me through the night. I guess he's the perfect guy for just such a task.

I look up at him, and still see that love in his eyes. He brushes the tears from my face and says, "Misha, cheer up. You're too cute to be sad."

That's... that's just... I kiss him. I kiss him and hold him tight and squeeze him like he'll float away. I don't ever want him to leave. Not now, not in the morning, not ever, because with him right here, next to me, everything feels perfect.

"Hey, Misha." I look at him and see his cute smile, those eyes of his still gazing into mine, loving and caring as always... "I love you."

I throw my arms around him and give him the biggest hug I can~. "Wahaha~" I chuckle, burying my head into his neck and smiling like an idiot. "I love you too, Hicchan. More than anything~."

"Feeling better, Misha?" I nod vigorously. "Good. Now can we go back to bed?" Another nod. "I don't guess you're going to let me go, are you?" To this, I shake my head and squeeze him tighter. He chuckles lightly and pulls the blanket over us, shuffling around and getting comfortable.

"Good night, Misha. I love you." He kisses me on the head and I smile even wider, if that was possible. "G'night, Hicchan. I love you, too~!"

I've never been happier in my life.