Kerubim Episode 5 raw English translation

Kerubim Episode 5 translation
Title: Welcome to YeCh'Ti's

**Translator's note: Due to the abundance of word play, most of the jokes do not reflect the originals but I did my best to respect the idea behind them. Excuse the lameness.**

So I tell him: Look at the bright side!

Why do you laugh, Simone? You didn't even hear the first part of the joke.

I don't know!

I can't help it!

Please! One last joke, Keke! Another one!

Well...
Oh! Yes! My best joke.
Wait for it...

What a joker, that good old Keke. He always cracks me up.

Papycha!
What is it? Is it a laughing box?

Ush! Fool! You want me to pass for a sham or what?

Um, it's getting late! I've got some bamboo milk on the stove!
See you tomorrow!

You're using canned laughs?

Ah, I see, so that's the deal.
The neighbors will be pleased when they hear about it.

Say, Papycha, where did you get that laughing box?

Okay, I'll tell you.
In fact, it all started with a bad joke.

At the time, I hung out at Momo's bar a lot.
And as luck would have it, my old rival, Indie Delagrandaventure, was there too.
Just to cross me, of course.

Just goes to show that luck isn't everything! And you don't have to be a kitty to be witty!

Yeah, yeah, right! You're so clever, Woofy!
Everyone here knows I'm a thousand times funnier than you!
I'm so funny I could even get a laugh out of the YeCh'Ti!

Wow. Funnier than ever, cookie eater.

Get a laugh out of the YeCh'Ti?

That's impossible!

No one's ever done that!

I'm an Eca capable of anything!
I will return with the YeCh'Ti's laugh! With Ecaflip as my witness!

Witness? This is gonna be fun!

Okay, goodbye, we'll see you when you're funny, which is, never!

Laughing in my face! Me! The nerve!
I would show them who was funniest!

That night, I bought stand-up equipment;
A magic box to record the YeCh'Ti's laugh;
And I was on my way to the mountains of the abominable snowman.

I was determined – nothing would stop me.
Kerub Crispin always keeps his word!

And after days of trekking, I finally found my destination:
The YeCh'Ti's cavern.

The YeCh'Ti's welcome reflected his habitat: stern, cold, or rather completely frozen!

Kerub Crispin, master clown, and entertainer of kings... at the service of your laughter!

You losing your time. Me never laughs.
Never.

And I say, I can make you! I'll bet my paw on it!

Okay. I'll put it with the rest.

Very well! Then let the show begin!
Get ready for two hours of guaranteed laughter!
And it's free for Enutrofs!

Back when I was a kitten, I had neighbors, Mr and Mrs Pyre, and they had a son: Van.
We were practically blood brothers!
Eh? Eh? Vanpyre!

You're lucky! I'm the last Kerub in my family!
… Last Kerub, like “last grub!” No?
Okay, ever seen a Iop? A real one?

Everyone knows that Iops never think! And in front of a mirror, it becomes obvious.

You talking to me?
Yeah, you!

Stop repeating everything! And stop copying me!

What about Pandawas! Have you seen their babies?

Man that ice sure feels nice!

Hey, gramps! Rheumatism isn't a level 200 spell!

Hey, Jenkins! What are you doing tonight?

Yo, ima farm XP like cr8zy lmao, xD!

Seriously? Do you know anyone who talks like that in real life?

Time for a break! Thank you, everyone!

It's over?

Are you kidding? I mean, figuratively... That was just an introduction, YeCh'Ti!
I have a lot more up my sleeve!

The YeCh'Ti was a tough nut to crack up. It wasn't going to be easy to break through to him.
But on my honor, I would do it!

I jumped back into it.

Do you know why pretty girls need to blow off steam?
Because they're too hot!

What's the best pick-up line for a Bow Meow?
You're impussible to resist!

Do you know why Bow Meows don't like water?
Because it's always tail water! [stale water]

For days on end, I did skit after skit, I tried everything – everything!
Simple stuff...
A Dofus!
Classics...
It's mine!
No it's mine!
Mine!

But nothing worked. Nothing.

From visual performances...

...to full-on burlesque!

Let me introduce to you my right-hand man: Porky Pine!

Right-hand man? Do I look like a loser to you?
I want 50% of the profits! I'm fed up with this manipulation!

Calm down, okay?
Calm down!? You're the one who wanted to clown around!
I never asked for this!
I'm so sick of you I think I'm going to BLOW!

Humor killed me... I will miss you, I liked your style...

Me too! We did so much together! Farewell, my friend. I'm done with humor...

Come on, buddy... Let it out...
Almost there...

What!?

All what you do maybe funny, me don't know, only don't laugh.

Wait wait wait! I still have plenty!
It's about a guy...
It's on the tip of my tongue...

Humor isn't funny anymore...

Fine. A bet is a bet. I lost.
Do what you must, YeCh'Ti.

Something was happening. Like a trigger.
I just might have another chance.

Wait a second! I'm not done with you!

Yes! That was it!
I almost had him, and I wasn't about to let go.

The oldest joke in the world...

Falling, slipping, getting hurt; raw humor!
That was the trick!

I've got it! At last!
The YeCh'Ti's canned laugh!
What I didn't know was that this laugh was the most contagious laugh in the world!
You only had to hear it to be in stitches.
A magic reward I hadn't expected at all!

I had experienced the most utter ridicule...
But it taught me humility and self-deprecation.

Well since you didn't lose your arms, you could help us carry the groceries, no?

That's a good one, Simone!

Did you know that laughter is good for your health?