The Trickster and The Harlequin- End of an Era

You awake with a warm feeling on your chest. Sunlight streamed through the pastel coloured windows, and onto the tiled floor. You slowly open your eyes to see Rainbow Dash, snuggled up asleep in your chest, her chest slowly rising and falling with breath. You smile as you awaken fully. The past 2 months have been a blur for you and your family, planning the wedding, preparing the guest list, organising transport. Dash and yourself have been run ragged trying to sort what little you had to do. With your wedding a week away, you had finally finished preparations. You lie in the fluffy bed, in a room Princess Celestia had organised for you, waiting for Rainbow to wake up. She stirs on your chest as if by you willing her to do so, opening her magenta eyes to look into yours.
‘Mmmorning…’ she mutters sleepily.
‘Morning.’ You say with a smile. You lean down to give her a kiss. ‘This was our last night together until the wedding.’
‘Ohohohohoho…’ Dash gets an evil grin ‘Then we should make it count.’
Dash climbs on top of you and gives you a deep wanting kiss. You wrap your arms around her to hold her close when the door to your room burst open and Harley gallops in.
>You god damn cock blocking filly
‘BANZAI!!!’ she screams as she leaps in the air, landing on the bed where you were… or not.
‘NEGA-BANZAI!!’ You yell, teleporting from where you hid to just above her, grabbing her in your arms. Rainbow Dash glided down from the ceiling where she hid to complete the family hug.

After a long hug and a bit of a pillow fight, you throw on a pair of pants and a jumper, and walk to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You finish up with spitting the foam down the sink when you feel something grab your right leg. You look down to see Harley smiling up at you and you shake your head.
‘What do you want?’ you say
‘Upsies Daddy.’ She says with a smile.
‘Aren’t you a little old to get me to do this?’ you say, bending down and picking her up around the waist with one arm.
‘But you’re my daddy…’ she gives you puppy dog eyes, her lip quivering like mad.
You shove her toothbrush in her mouth, vigorously brushing her p0ny teeth, causing her mouth to foam up like mad.
‘You are getting old enough to do this yourself young mare.’ You give her a squeeze ‘Kinda chubby too.’
Harley spits out the toothpaste. ‘Why do I have to brush my teeth?’
‘Cos Colgate will have my flank if you don’t. Now rinse.’
You hold a glass up to Harley’s mouth and she sips some water, giving her mouth a swish before spitting back in the sink.
‘Alright, give us a whiff.’ You say, lifting her up to your face. She gives you a small breath and you smile, lowering her to the ground. ‘That’s my little minty princess.’
‘Daaaad,’ Harley whined ‘Do you have to call me that?’
‘Until one of us dies, you will be my little princess.’ You scruff up her mane ‘My Starshine.’
Harley teleports off the ground and on to her usual spot on your head. She leans down and kisses you on the forehead.
‘I love you too Daddy.’

After Rainbow Dash took a shower, the three of you made your way through the halls of the castle, trying to find the throne room.
‘Why do we need to get up so early to go see the Princesses?’ Rainbow Dash says.
‘1) They are doing a lot for us, giving us a discount on the entire ceremony.’ You say‘2) Guest start arriving today, so we need to greet them.’
‘Okay…so why are you paying for this wedding? I mean, isn’t it traditional that-‘
‘SCREW TRADITION!’ you grab Dash from the air and give her a massive hug. ‘I am a foreign creature marrying a Pegasus, and have a unicorn for a daughter. What actually screams “tradition”? That, and I’m rich.’
You walk into the throne room, Harley on your head, Rainbow in your arms, and immediately bow for the Princesses that sit on the respective thrones. In the corner sat a glowing curtain, shrouded in mystery.
‘Lokie,’ Celestia says ‘We do not require you to bow.’
‘And yet I still do. Good Morning Princesses.’ You reply.
‘Lokie, we must hurry.’ Luna says ‘If we want the element of surprise.’
‘What is the Princess talking about Lokie?’ Dash says.
‘I left something at home, and I need it today.’ You say, lifting the curtain to reveal a purple portal.
‘What did you leave?’
‘Hold that thought.’
You give her a winning smile before jumping through the purple light. It was a tense 8 minutes in the throne room, all wondering if you would return anytime soon. Your right arm emerged first, then your head. You smile even wider as you step out, a white cloth in your hand, it’s end still on the other side of the portal.
‘Everyp0ny,’ you tug on the sheet ‘Say hello to my early wedding present.’
Gasps rang out through the room, and you smiled.

You are Claire, and you have been alone for 5 years. Your big brother and mentor, Lachlan, had been living in another dimension with your favourite TV show, My Little P0ny. He visited 4 years ago with his daughter and your niece, but ever since, you have only been able to send letters to each other. Now he was getting married, and you can’t visit him. You decided on taking a few weeks off from the law firm you work at to clear your head.  Even Lokie said it was a good idea to take some time off. You had planned to take a trip somewhere cooler, but you would prefer to sit at home, snuggled up with food and stay there.
You spent all of last night on the couch drinking scotch and watching cartoons. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s what Lokie did when he was able to buy some. You were awake until the early morning, before trudging off to bed for some good sleep. That night, you had the weirdest dream. It felt like you were floating on air, but you were too drunk and tired to care. You fell back into a deep sleep, dreaming of booze and chocolates. Your sleep is disturbed by a voice, and someone shaking you awake.
‘Clare, it’s time to go to school.’
‘Lachlan… I don’t wanna go to school…’ you mumble, grabbing more blanket.
‘Come on. If you don’t go to school every day, you will get stupid.’
‘…good.’
‘You’re getting fat, you know?’ He says, poking your stomach.
Your eyes shoot open and you sit up in a flash, grabbing his shirt.
‘What the fuck did…you…just…say…?’
Your eyes widen as you notice you are surrounded by almost 10 pastel colour p0nies.
‘Welcome to Equestria baby sister.’ Lokie says with a large grin.

You are Lokie again, and your smile never left your face. Claire looked at you in utter shock. She then looked to Rainbow Dash, then Harley. From Pinkie Pie to Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity. Both princesses had worried looks on their faces. Claire finally looks at you.
‘Right, going back to sleep. Sick of having this dream.’ She grumbles, falling back to the silk pillow of your bed.
‘Claire?’ you say ‘Claire, give me your hand.’
Claire sits back up and holds up her hand, fingers spread. You place your right hand against hers, and smile. You quickly intertwine her fingers in yours and crush them enough for her to yelp in pain.
‘Say it!’ you say with a smile ‘WHO’S BEST P0NY?!’
‘AARRGHH FINE! DERPY IS BEST P0NY!!’ Claire cries out.
You let go, and kiss her hand. ‘You’re damn right she is.’
She starts to whimper about her hand until it hits her. She looks at you, tears forming in her eyes.
‘Then…then…real?’
You nod your head, and she breaks down crying, falling into your arms. You look sideways, motioning everyp0ny to leave you two alone for a bit. When the door shuts, Claire pulls away from you and begins hitting you.
‘This is kidnapping!’ she says ‘And you kept this from me.’
‘Heeelp!’ you yell with a laugh ‘Save me super princess!’
There was a loud pop, and Harley teleported into the room, landing on Claire’s face. She immediately activates face-hugger mode, and you laugh.
‘You seem to have a beard, dear sister.’

You detach Harley from Claire’s face, and sit her in her lap. Claire immediately snatches Harley away, giving her a hug.
‘I missed you so much Harley.’ She breaks the hug ‘Look how big you are. You’re almost a mare.’
‘I missed you too Aunty Claire. Daddy said you were a shark, but you don’t look like one.’
Claire giggles, and looks at you
‘I said she was a shark of a lawyer, or she will be.’
Claire punches you again. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were doing this?!’
‘Cos it was a surprise! Only Luna and I knew about this stuff.’ Tears formed in your eyes ‘I couldn’t have the most important day of my life without my baby sister.’
Claire grabs you in a hug, and you return it. It was a very warm moment, until something started to wriggle in between you. Harley pops her head out from the gap.
‘Can’t….breathe.’ She gasps.
You both laugh and let go of the hug.
‘Harley, how about we get today started?’ you say ‘We have a lot to do, and not a lot of time to get it done.’
‘Right!’ Harley gives you a salute, and runs to the door.
‘What do we need to do?’ Claire asks
‘Well, it’s your first day in Equestria. You need to meet my friends and family, you need to get some new clothes, aaaand…’
Claire gets ecstatic. ‘PINKIE PARTY!!!’
‘But first of all, you need to meet your sister-in-law.’

Harley opens the door, and Rainbow Dash creeps inside. She looks nervously at Claire, and is met with a warm smile and open arms. Rainbow flies straight for Claire, and she catches her in a hug.
‘Wow, she really does smell like tutti frutti.’ Claire says ‘It’s very nice to meet you Rainbow Dash.’
‘I’m so happy to meet you. I was always upset that I could never meet my sister-in-law the first time round.’
‘Well it was nice of you to send me all those letters. I feel like I already know you.’
‘Well… that was something I wanted to talk about.’ Dash looks nervous ‘I was wondering…if you would be my mare-of-honour?’
Claire’s eyes widen and she looks at you. You just shrug.
‘Are you sure? I mean, we have only just met.’
‘Well I can’t choose out of all my p0ny friends, and I feel you know me a lot more than they do.’
‘Of course I will!’ Claire squeals, and they both bounce with glee. ‘Oh no… I don’t have anything to wear.’
You facepalm so very hard. ‘Claire? Who is a fashionista from P0nyville?’
‘But… does she know humans?’
Your left hand glows green and Claire is lifted off the bed into the air.
‘PUT ME DOWN!!’ she screams
‘No.’ you shake her up and down ‘What are you going to do?’
‘LoOoOoOkKiIiIiIeEeE!!!’ Claire whines.
You telekinetically pull her to you, and you hug her again. ‘You have no idea how much I miss you Claire. I’m just happy you are here.’
‘God damn you… Now I can’t be angry.’
‘Come on! So many fluffy p0nies to talk to, so little time.’

The rest of the day was spent properly introducing Claire to all of your p0ny friends, and each of them hit it off with her in a different way. Twilight discussed differences in laws and customs within the two dimensions, and you had to break it up when it came to reproduction. Claire was surprised to find AJ quite intelligent when it came to physics.
‘Y’all gotta know how much ta buck a tree ta get them apples.’ She said.
Rarity immediately measured Claire up for clothes, and she was ecstatic to say the least. You stayed outside the room when the discussion led towards how large her bust size was. Fluttershy was…well, Fluttershy. Claire spoke to her in a soft voice, and they discussed all the wonderful animals Fluttershy looked after.
Pinkie Pie was literally bouncing off the walls when she found out there was ANOTHER human to throw a party for, and Claire was just as excited about spending time with the pink ninja herself. Claire couldn’t hide her glee when she was introduced to Princess Celestia, claiming she wasn’t as much of a bitch as fan fiction had portrayed her, but not in so many words.
‘Lokie, what, pray tell, is a “massive cunt-sicle”?’ She asked, and you stared daggers at Claire.
Your favourite meeting was left for last. Claire sat on the bed, waiting for the next guest, as you opened the door…to find nop0ny.
‘Who are we waiting for?’ came a voice behind Claire.
Claire shrugged. ‘Dunno, supposed to be Lokie’s best man.’
‘Oh yes. Monkey wrangling. It’s going to be a fun job.’
Claire turned around to see a midnight blue alicorn lying on the bed next to her, staring at her with an evil smile.
‘Hello.’ Luna said, as Claire screamed.

After you calm Claire down, and Luna has apologised for the 37th time, the three of you sit down for some tea and cakes.
‘So, you are actually Lokie’s best man?’ Claire asked.
‘Yes, I am.’ Luna said.
‘How ever did you become best friends with a Princess?’
You crack an evil smile and Luna face-hoofs. ‘Well, it was my first Nightmare night…’
You had been in Equestria for around 4 months, and only recently became a citizen. Nightmare Night was like Halloween, with a few differences. You were wandering around Whitetail Woods, trying to get your mind off being stuck there. You found yourself standing in front of a large stone statue of Nightmare Moon. You decide to sit against it and think for a bit. You had just closed your eyes when you hear somep0ny approach.
‘WHY ART THOU KNEELING?’ cried a voice.
You open your eyes to see Princess Luna looming over you, her eyes glowing white.
‘Piss off, will you?’ you say, going back to thinking.
‘WHAT DID THOU JUST SAY TO US?’
‘I told you to PISS OFF!!’ you yelled back at her.
She stared at you, like you had just murdered a filly.
‘HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO CANTERLOT ROYALTY LIKE THAT!!’ Her voice boomed into your brain, almost making you bleed.
You calmly stood from where you sat, walked over to the night Princess, and bitch-slapped her.
‘YOU OF ALL P0NIES SHOULD UNDERSTAND THE HEARTBREAK I FEEL FOR LOSING A SISTER!!!’ you scream directly into her face.

Luna had a shocked look on her face, and you walked back to where you were sitting. She stomps up to you, lifting your body with her magic. The look on her face said it all. You were seriously fucked.
‘APOLOGISE!’ she yelled.
‘Apologise for being a loud mouth, stuck up bitch.’ You reply.
‘I WON’T ASK AGAIN, MONKEY. APOLOGISE!’
‘I was torn from my world. My sister is now alone. I am now stuck in a world inhabited by colour equine who still treat me like a monster. And now? NOW I AM GETTING MY EARDRUMS BURST BY SOME SPOILED STUCK UP PRINCESS WHO COULD GIVE LESS THAN A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT ANYP0NY ELSE WHEN ALL I WANTED WAS SOLITUDE!!’ you brought your face close to hers ‘I have nothing to apologise for.’
‘You really want to die right now?!’ She growled at you.
‘Maybe if you laid off the screaming at others, p0nies would actually want to talk to you and you would come picking a fight with somep0ny who looks different.’
She drops you to the ground, taking a seat next to you. ‘What’s your name?’
‘Lokie. And I already know you…stuck up as you are.’
‘You have bravery, fighting with those such as I.’
‘What? Cos you’re an Alicorn? A Princess? Nightmare Moon?’ you look her in the eye ‘I don’t give a fuck who you think you are, you are still another p0ny who thought it was okay to pick on me. The only reason I didn’t full on punch you is because I still thought you would remember the heart ache of not being able to tell your sister you still love her.’

Luna looks at you, and her horn glows. In a flash of light, a bottle of brown liquid and two glasses appeared. The bottle opens itself and pours its contents into both glasses.
‘What’s all this then?’ you say
‘I don’t know what you call it in your monkey-land, but here we call it scotch.’ She says smugly.
‘Okay, first of all, it’s called Earth. I don’t call this land “Horse-land”.’ Luna looks at you with anger ‘And secondly, we actually have great scotch there.’
A glass levitates to you and you snatch it out of the air.
‘You sure you trust me enough that I won’t kill you?’ Luna says, and evil smile grows on her face.
You start to pat your pockets down, searching for something. You then start to look on the ground.
‘Monk- I mean, Lokie? What are you looking for?’ Luna says with concern.
‘You haven’t seen these little red and black balls, around the size of a grape each?’
‘No, I can’t say that I have.’
‘Well,’ you smile at her ‘I guess I can’t find the fucks I am supposed to give, then.’ You take a sip of scotch, and everything melts. ‘Pretty good.’
‘Yeah, Manehatten Malt. Fairly expensive.’ Luna says, drinking some.
‘This doesn’t mean I forgive you.’
‘Nor I you.’
You finish the scotch, and place the glass next to Luna, before standing up and dusting yourself off.
‘I should get going…but if you ever get a chance… and I’m just saying this as common courtesy,’ you look Luna in the eyes ‘I have a house on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. Stop by if you ever need to chat.’
‘I… We would like that.’ Luna says with a small smile.
‘Just make sure you check that royal voice and bitchiness at the door.’

‘So, pretty much, anytime Princess Luna needed to talk to somep0ny, she would visit me.’ You say with a smile.
‘You…slapped the princess?’ Claire says
‘I mean it did take time for me to completely trust him.’ Luna says
‘You SLAPPED the PRINCESS!’
‘YES CLAIRE!’ you yell ‘I slapped a mother bucking princess! I could have died! Big fucking woop, I killed a dragon.’
‘Must run in the family, what with your daughter biting me.’ Luna says with a chuckle.
‘Give me a break, I saw you blush when you realised somep0nies actually like you.’
‘I have other p0nies that like me.’ Luna sinks down
‘Me, Harley and Pipsqueak. Oh, and Sunshine Smiles, your night guard.’
Claire giggles. ‘The night guard is named Sunshine Smiles? That’s so cute.’
‘You’re not staying here after the honeymoon.’ You give Claire a deadpan look.
‘But-‘
‘Nope. I will drag your flank back to Earth if it kills me.’
‘So, how long CAN I stay?’ Claire says
‘Two weeks. I was hoping you would look after Harley while Dash and I go on our honeymoon.’
Claire squeals, flailing about in excitement, and both you and Luna dive for cover. She opens her eyes to see you both hiding behind a fort of pillows.
‘Is it over?’ Luna asks.
A silk pillow smacks her in the face as a response, Claire’s face growing in a smile. What ensues is less a pillow fight, more a pillow war. You and Claire versus Princess Luna, with the occasional Pinkie spy going in for a sneak attack. For her first day in Equestria, Claire had more fun than you could ever wish.

A week later, you stood in Canterlot Castle’s grand hall’s foyer. You paced  back and forth with a worried look on your face. It was an hour until your wedding ceremony, and Claire was missing. You should have never allowed her out into a world of fluffy p0nies. Rainbow Dash was in her special room with her friends getting ready, but she needed Claire there to give her the final okay. Guests were already seated but you still needed to greet the last as well. You run your hands through your black hair which was neatly trimmed as per Claire’s instructions, when your thoughts are interrupted by somep0ny punching you in the leg. You look down to see a cream p0ny with a pink and blue mane, a green unicorn with a green and white mane and a blue colt with a black and white mane.
‘Oh hello you guys.’ You say with a smile. ‘So happy you could make it.’
‘We wouldn’t miss this for the world.’ Lyra says with a smile.
‘Especially after all you have done for us.’ Bon Bon says with a smile.
‘Wow…an actual smile from the destroyer herself.’ Bon Bon scowls ‘What a great wedding present.’
‘What does he mean Mommy?’ Hum Bug says.
‘Hey Hum Bug.’ You smile at him ‘Well, back in the day,’ Bon Bon tries to shut you up, but you hold her back with magic ‘I stupidly challenged her to a candy making contest. I lost…like real bad. She destroyed me.’
Bon Bon looks at you, and you wink. ‘Well of course Mr Lokie, Mommy makes the best candies.’
You give a chuckle as they walk in to take there seats. You turn around to see someone running towards you.
‘HURRY UP CLAIRE!’ you yell.

Claire runs in, almost out of breath, and smiles at you.
‘Sorry I’m late. Lost track of time.’ She says
‘Well hurry up and get in there. You’re needed.’ You say, pushing her to the door. ‘and send out Harley will you? I need to speak to her.’
Claire walks inside, and Harley walks out a few minutes later. She was wearing a very beautiful red, black and white dress, connected at the front with her cutie mark. You look at her and smile.
‘You look wonderful.’ You say.
‘Thank you daddy.’ Harley says with a blush.
‘We need to get you prepared for the ceremony.’ You walk Harley over to the other side of the foyer to a room where all your “groomscolts” were. Half of them weren’t even male, and you suspected another of not even being equine. In the room sat Luna, Spike, Big Mac, Derpy, Dinky, Iron Hooves and Doctor Whooves, all wearing black suits with coloured ties, except for Derpy, whose tie looked like (and probably was) made of muffin.
‘Okay, Iron? Come with me.’ You say, giving him a nod.
He follows you out, and you look them both over.
‘Okay, before I start, I already know about you two being special somep0nies. No point in hiding it now.’
‘Really?’ Iron says. ‘So you are okay with it?’
‘Oh Tartarus no… You still have to fight me for her.’
Iron doesn’t flinch, and just stares at you. ‘Mr Lokie. I do not wish to own Harley. She is not my nor anyp0ny else’s property. I wish to be there for her in the highs and the lows, to make sure she is smiling. That being said, I will fight you, if only to prove I am worthy of being there for her.’

You stare at Iron with your “You really want to die, nigger” face, and he doesn’t back down. His horn glows silver, and you smile.
‘Go ahead Harley.’ You say with a smile, waving your hand.
Iron looks confused now ‘Go ahead with wha-‘
Harley interrupts him with a long kiss on the lips, leaving him a stammering mess.
‘Wha…?’ is all he can manage.
‘Like I wasn’t going to make sure you can be there for her. But back to why I really called you out. Harley will walk down the aisle as the flower filly and Iron will walk next to her as the ring bearer. Just like we practiced, okay?’ You smile at them, and they nod. ‘Cool. I need to talk to Iron outside.’
Harley looks at you and then at Iron.
‘Dad, what’s wrong?’ she says
‘Harley, stay here.’ You say, motioning Iron to follow. You look back to see Harley following too. ‘Harley, don’t make me yell. I am asking you nicely. Please go back to mom.’
Harley opens her mouth to argue, but Iron steps in the way.
‘Harley, please go back inside with your mom. If your dad needs to talk to me alone, it must be important.’
‘Promise you two will be fine?’ she says.
‘Promise.’ You both reply.
Harley nods, and walks back into the bridesmare’s room.

You sit on the steps out the front of the building, watching the day go by. Iron sat on his haunches next to you, worried about what you were going to say.
‘Did you mean it?’ you say, not looking at him.
‘What?’ Iron says with a jump.
‘What you said about Harley. Did you mean what you said.’
‘Yes sir.’
‘Cut that sir crap out.’ You look at him ‘ I need you to do me a favour.’
‘Anything Sir- I mean, Lokie.’
‘Harley hasn’t grown up as… normal as I would have liked to. So much in such a short life, I worry. She looks to be growing up into a wonderful mare, just as I see you growing into a brave stallion. I need for you to be there, and to give her some time too. At times, I know she will get angry or upset. If she tells you to go away, and her eye twitches, don’t go. Stay there no matter what she says.’
‘Of course Lokie.’
‘I can see she has something for you, and you standing up to me shows you have dedication. Your aunt and cousin already treat her like family. Please make sure she is happy until the day she dies.’
‘Lokie…Don’t you think this is a speech for somep0ny on their wedding day, not on your own?’
‘Someday you will know why I told you this stuff, but you are a smart colt. And one more thing?’
‘Yes Lokie?’
You stand up and look down at him with a smile.
‘Call me “dad”.’

You stood there, nerves running through your entire body. Your fear could be sensed by all in the room. You feel a hoof fall on your shoulder. You turn to see Celestia giving you a smile.
‘Are you ready Lokie?’ she says
‘Yes, but please, it’s Lachlan.’ You say, trying to undo the knot in your stomach.
Celestia gave you a nod, and looked over at the band. The music started up, just some soft cello music as the doors at the back opened, and everyp0ny in the room stood at attention. The first of the party walked down the aisle were Harley and Iron Hooves, walking hoof in hoof, dotting a rainbow of rose petals as they went. Next was  Claire in a midnight blue dress and Luna with a matching tie; followed by Twilight and Doctor Whooves, both in a gold colour scheme. Rarity and Spike walked through next, both snappy in amethyst colours, Pinkie and Derpy in baby blue and a muffin tie. Fluttershy walked down with Dinky in a violet colour scheme, finishing up with Applejack and Big Macintosh in ruby red. They took their places on the respective sides and you took a deep breath.
>Always time to run away.
There was never enough time.
The music changed to the wedding march as you get your first glimpse at your future wife, and your mouth dropped. Rainbow Dash slowly walked slowly down the aisle in a beautiful white wedding dress, studded with small diamonds. You couldn’t help but to smile when she walked up to you, and you could see the blush rising on her face below her veil.

Rainbow Dash made her way next to you and you both faced Celestia. She cleared her throat, and smiled.
‘Mares and Gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Rainbow Dash and Lachlan…’ her face erupted in a confused look, as did most of the p0nies in the room. The only one with a smile was you. You leaned up to Celestia and whispered something into her ear.
‘Ahem…, The joining of Rainbow Dash and Lachlan Anonymous.’
Rainbow looked at you and you couldn’t hide the shit eating grin from your face. You had successfully hidden your full name for five years.
‘Who gives this p0ny away?’
All on cue, the rest of the Mane 6 said in unison. ‘We do.’
‘And who wrangles this monkey here?’
Luna snickers and smiles at you. ‘We do.’
‘Rainbow Amelia Dash,’ Celestia looks at Rainbow ‘Do you vow to love Lachlan for the rest of your life. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health until you are accepted into Elysium?’
‘I do, Princess.’ Iron levitates the ring from the pillow, into Rainbow’s hoof, and she slid it on your finger.
‘And Lachlan, do you vow to love Rainbow Dash for the rest of your life? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health until you are accepted into Elysium?’
‘I do, Princess.’ You picked up the bracelet, and slid it onto Rainbow’s hoof.
‘And is there anyp0ny here who objects to this marriage?’ All eyes fell on Fluttershy and Applejack, but they just smiled ‘Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.’
You knelt down to Rainbow Dash’s level, lifting her veil and giving her a smile, before leaning in and kissing your new wife.

You stood up, your new wife in your arms now, and everyp0ny cheered for you. You look around at your friends and family, and they all had tears in their eyes. You look to Claire to make sure she was alright, and she was holding Harley in her arms, petting her mane. You looked closely and placed Rainbow on the ground again. Still holding your smile, your left hand glowed green, and Harley was lifted from Claire’s hands. She looked at you with surprise, and was about to open her mouth to speak when you lifted her in the air and immobilised her.
‘Celestia, Luna. Train a powerful spell on Claire.’ You say.
Everyp0ny went silent, and all eyes were on you.
‘Lokie?’ Claire said ‘What are you doing?’
‘YOU,’ you give her an evil stare ‘are not my sister.’
‘W-what?’ Claire said as gasps rang out in the room.
‘Prove you are Claire, or I crush you.’ Claire started to whimper in fear ‘What was the name of your stuffed rabbit?’
‘M-mr Squishlesworth…’ she said quietly.
‘Your first words.’
‘Hello…’
‘What colour was mum’s eyes?’ You say
‘H-hazel! Her eyes were hazel!’ You sighed, and looked at the ground. ‘Lokie, just…just let me go… I forgive you.’

Your hand gripped tighter, and a green ring surrounded Claire’s neck.
‘Lokie! What are you doing?!’ Claire screamed. ‘Mum’s eyes were hazel!’
‘Yes, they were.’ The ring gripped her tighter ‘But not once did you ever say “hazel eyes”. They were always “Hazelnuts”.’
Claire looked at you, her face changing from scared to laughing.
‘HAHAHAHA… I guess the jigs up.’ She says. Her body started to shimmer, and Claire’s form melted away to reveal some sort of insect-p0ny hybrid. It had a black carapace, with a horn and fly wings. It was only the size of a regular p0ny. It’s eyes were fully green, and the holes in it’s legs made you sick. Harley had fainted on the ground at the sight.
‘Iron!’ you look over at the colt, but he was too amazed by this creature that pretended to be your sister. ‘IRON!’ he looks up at you. ‘Take Harley and leave. Hide outside. Take everyp0ny. Look after her.’ He gave you a nod, and carried Harley outside. ‘That goes for everyp0ny! The only ones I want in here are the wedding party and the princesses!’
Everyp0ny made their way outside, including Derpy, Dinky, Big Mac and Spike, and you bring your attention back to the creature. Everyp0ny in the room was already preparing attacks.
‘How did a changeling make it’s way here?’ Luna said.
‘What do you want?!’ you say.
‘Oh, you know. I just want simple things in life.’ It’s horn glowed pea green, and it’s appearance changed. Everyp0ny in the room gasped ‘I just came to grab my daughter.’

The Mane 6, both princesses, and yourself stood around the changeling who had pretended to be Claire just to infiltrate your wedding. But now, it looked like a p0ny you knew, a p0ny you loved. It’s mane was light blue, and it’s coat was a dark blue. The only difference was the eyes were green, not yellow.
‘Lokie,’ Rainbow Dash said ‘Is that…?’
‘Yes. It’s angry Harley.’ You gripped your hand tighter, making the ring choke her more. ‘You must be Harley’s mother.’
‘Ooo...the monkey knows me. Yes, it was too bad I couldn’t keep her, and I am glad I didn’t kill her like her father.’
‘What makes you think that I would just let you leave here with her?’
The Changeling smack her lips ‘Mmm…I can taste your rage, with a hint of fear. If you want you itty bitty baby sister back, I guess I have to live.’
You glared at her for a second and looked at Celestia. ‘Your memory spell, it works on the recently dead?’
The changeling looked at you in shock, and flailed about.’ Wait wait wait! I’ll tell I’LL TELL!!’
‘Yes, about 5 minutes afterwards.’ Celestia said with a worried face.
You look at the changeling again.
‘Do you understand what you have done?’
‘Please…I’m sorry… I am so sorry.’
‘You pissed me off.’ Your grip tightens ‘You try to fuck with my family. You have the gall to come here and try to steal the daughter you never loved.’ The changeling ripped at it’s neck, hoping to loosen the magic ring. It’s appearance returning to normal. ‘But most of all, you deny my baby sister to see my wedding day.’ You look it in the eyes one last time ‘May King Eternity find mercy, because you’ll get none from me.’

You walk out if the hall to see Derpy, Dinky, Iron and Harley waiting for you. They look at you, your suit covered in green blood.
‘Okay, I have to go save my baby sister from these creatures.’ You say, your face dead serious. ‘I ask only those who can fight to come. It will be dangerous, and I don’t know what will happen. But-‘
You feel a hoof on your shoulder, and you turn to see Rainbow Dash.
‘I am not letting you go without me.’ She says.
You nod, and look to your friends and they all have the same look. You feel something tug your leg, and you look down to see Harley and Iron looking at you.
‘No.’ you say simply.
‘What?!’ Harley says.
‘I’m not letting you go. You are too important to me.’
‘Well Aunty Claire is important to me, so I’m going.’
You stare down Harley and she doesn’t budge.
‘You really are my daughter if you are this crazy to run in. What about you Iron? You any good in a fight.’
‘Well…I might be, I don’t know.’
You crouch down and look him in the eyes. ‘If you come along, you would be protecting Harley, so I ask again. Can you fight?’
‘Yes sir!’ He gives you a small salute.
‘Right. Everyp0ny coming, get back here in 5 minutes. Not here, not going.’
Everyp0ny run off to get prepared and you notice Derpy and Dinky standing there.
‘I will protect them both, Derpy.’
‘Promise?’
‘Cross my heart, hope to cry. Stick a muffin in my mouth.’
Both begin to cry, and you hug them goodbye.

Five minutes were up, and those who were coming were there. The Mane 6 were fitted with the Elements of Harmony, and Luna was in a battle armour. You didn’t have the strength to teleport home to get your stuff, so you hoped your arm was good enough. In a sudden flash of light, Harley and Iron Hooves appeared, Iron carrying a saddlebag.
‘What’s this?’ you say, looking at Iron.
‘Words are magic.’ He says, lifting a book out of the bag. You look at the cover and see it’s a dictionary.
‘What is that going to do?’ Rainbow said
The dictionary opened up and Iron’s horn glowed silver. The pages flipped and words flew off the pages into the air. You could make out three that looked bold. Force Field Amulet. In a flash of light, the words changed into an object, a necklace with Harley’s cutie mark on it.
‘I can use this to create anything in Equestrian language.’ He slipped the necklace over Harley’s neck ‘As I said, words are magic.’
You give Iron a smile ‘I knew you were special, kid. But I am going to need a few items.’

The ten of you enter the cave just outside of Canterlot where Celestia told you to go. Harley and Iron wore amulets around their necks that projected a force field to protect them, while you sported a set of diamond edge armour and weapons.
As you walk through the cave, the overpowering stench of blood and faecal matter hit you. You hear the sound of buzzing and clicking coming from deeper in the cave.
‘Okay,’ you whisper, looking at everyp0ny ‘We need to remain quiet. Take them out quickly and quietly.’
‘What should we do Dad?’ Harley says
‘Try to keep quiet, maybe use that sleep spell Twilight taught you. Killing is the last resort here, but if we can’t get through without it, we can’t.’
Everyp0ny nods, and walks forwards, deeper into the cave. You hold a foot up in front of Iron, holding him back from the others.
‘I need one more favour.’ You say.
‘Anything, um…dad.’ He looks at his feet, and you chuckle.
‘If it gets tough out there, if we get out numbered, get Harley home and keep her there.’
‘But Lokie-‘
‘No, please…just do that for me. I’m expendable, Harley needs to live.’
‘Yes… o-of course.’
‘And Iron? Harley told me about your family, I hope you don’t mind.’
‘Oh…no, it’s okay.’
‘Well, I wanted to tell you, I see how your aunt looks at Harley, like she is family. It makes me happy. But, I wanted to tell you…if I had a colt half as smart and brave like you, I would be a lucky human.’
You are shocked when he hugs you, but you return it. You look at him, and realise he is holding back some manly tears.
‘Remember one thing. It takes a brave stallion not to cry, it takes a braver one to cry when it’s necessary.’

You head up the group again, slowly leading them deeper into the cave. You turn a corner to see two changelings, wearing armour. Sentry guards most likely. They were facing you, but hadn’t noticed your presence yet, as you were shrouded in darkness. Your hand quickly glowed green, and as one guard noticed the light, you slammed his buddies head into his own, knocking them out cold.
‘Come on.’ You say, motioning the rest forward.
You walk for another 15 minutes, everyp0ny taking turns knocking out guards so no p0ny was overly tired, you find yourselves in a largely lit part of the cave with another tunnel on the other side. Four more guards are posted in the room, and you notice that there was someone tied to a chair.
‘Claire…’ you whisper.
You spin on your heels, motioning for Luna and Twilight to take down the guards. Luna stuns them with a flash orb as Twilight slams all four into a wall with great force. You run over to Claire, who was slumped in the chair, kneeling down in front of her.
‘Claire?!’ you say, giving her a shake.
Her head shoots up and looks at you, her eyes filling with tears before shaking them away.
‘No… you’re not him. You’re a fucking changeling!’ she looked down again.
You placed a hand under her chin, and made her look at you.
‘What colour were mom’s eyes?’ you say, tears filling your eyes.
‘H-hazelnuts… Dad’s?’ Claire tries to hold back her tears.
‘Chocolate. What were they together?’
In unison, you both said ‘Nutella…’
You grab Claire in a hug, crying into her shoulder as she did the same.
‘Aww…isn’t that sweet? Da wittle humans are happy again…’

You shoot up immediately and turn to see a tall changeling standing at the other tunnel entrance. She was around the same size as Celestia, and her eyes looked more similar to a p0ny’s. Her mane looked like aqua tentacles.
‘Holy shit, you give new meaning to tentacle rape.’ You say. ‘I assume you are the top bitch around here.’
‘That’s Queen Chrysalis, Lokie.’ Luna said.
‘Ahh, so I did leave a lasting impression on  your kind.’ Chrysalis said with a chuckle.
‘Well, I’m in a good mood.’ You say ‘I’m going to take my sister home, and let you live.’
Chrysalis laughs at you, and you give her a deadpan stare.
‘Oh… you are serious, human? Let me laugh harder.’
‘You don’t seem to get it. We have the Elements of Harmony, an Alicorn princess, and the mother bucking human who killed a dragon.’
‘And I have these.’
Chrysalis lets out a series of clicks, whistles and high pitch squeals, and suddenly smaller changelings rush in behind her. They surround your group, and begin growling at you.
‘And?’
The changelings suddenly transform into copies of the mane 6, all of them wearing false Elements of Harmony.
>This…may get harder…
Thanks brain.
‘Now what are you going to do?’ Queen Chrysalis said.
You retract your left sleeve, flipping up your screen and letting your arm go to work.
>9 Pn
>4 Un
>2 Pg
>2 Ea
>1 Ali
> 5 ft
You scroll through the list, getting to the bottom.
>137 Ch
>12-17 ft
>1 Hu
>2 ft
‘Well that works.’ You say, looking at the Queen. ‘As I was saying, I will now proceed to beat you till you are a green pulp.’
The Queen growls at you, before chirping again.

The Changeling army pounces as you lift your diamond sword. You slice through 5 Pinkie Pies and a Flutterjack (Looked like Applejack, but had Fluttershy’s wings and mane) instantly. You knock three Twilight’s off of a Rainbow Dash, only to have her bite your arm. You slam it into the wall, turning it back into a changeling.
‘Guys! Only fight the ones that look like you!’ You yell ‘I’ll deal with the rest.’
‘LOKIE!!!’ screamed Claire, still tied down.
You turn to see her swarmed by a mass of Raritys, and you jump into action. You blast most of them off with a fire ball, leaving five still attacking Claire. You dive on them, grabbing each of them by the neck with your left hand. They each cry out in Rarity’s voice, pleading that they are the real her. Each met with a quick grip, snapping their necks. You get to the final one, and she looks you in the eyes.
‘LOKIE I’M RARITY!!’ it screams.
You clutch your hand tighter, before loosening it.
‘Yes, you are.’ You say, putting her on the ground.
‘T-thank you…’ She says ‘I didn’t know if you would believe me.’
‘My hand knows it’s you. Thank you for trying to save Claire.’
You run to Claire, and start to cut her free.
‘LOKIE!! LOOK OUT!!’ she screams.
You look up to see 8 Rainbow Dashes leap for you. You blast 5 of them with a fire ball, sending them sprawling in to the wall before hearing a sickening snap as their spines broke. You skewer two more with your sword, and grab the final one on the snout. It gives you the most adorable puppy dog eyes.
‘Not happening.’ You say, smashing it into the wall, spraying your face in green.

You cut Claire’s legs free first, and begin working the arms. You hear another snap, and look up to see two more changelings slammed into Claire’s waiting feet.
‘That’s my sister.’ You say, cutting the rope on her arms.
Claire immediately wraps you in a hug, and cries into your jacket. You reach into your pocket, and put an amulet around her neck. She pulls back to look at it, and almost cries. It was something she made for you when you started watching My Little P0ny. Your mind flashes back to that day.
‘It’s our cutie marks.’ She said with a smile.
‘A what?’
‘A cutie mark. It means what we are destined for.’
You looked down at that piece of paper. There was a pink heart with a smaller black heart in it, and a black heart with a pink heart in it.
‘So…this black one is mine?’ She nods excitedly ‘And…what does it mean?’
‘It means I will always have you in my heart, and you will always have me in yours, no matter where you are.’
Your mind comes back to the fight, and a crying Claire. She looked over her pink heart amulet, and looked at you.
‘I was always in your heart, baby sister.’ You whisper, rolling up your sleeve to reveal your metal arm engraved with the same symbol. ‘Just like you were in mine.’
‘FIGHT NOW, CRY LATER!!’ Dash screams at you, bucking down two copies.
‘This will protect you, if you need to fight.’ Claire gives you a wicked smile. ‘HARLEY, Come here!’

Harley, now held in Claire’s arms, held like an assault rifle, shot of bolt after bolt of magic. Each one blasted away attacking copies. You, on the other hand, decided you needed to work faster. You now dual wield swords, the diamond in your right and a green flame sword in your left, and you cut through the oncoming forces like a knife through butter.
You turn to see five normal Pinkie Pies surrounding another Pinkie whose hair was dead flat, pupils the size of pin pricks. You didn’t like this; hell, you felt bad for the changelings attacking the great Pinkamena, none shall live. True to her fourth wall breaking abilities, Pinkamena produced a kitchen knife, holding it in her mouth.
The Changelings surrounding her started to chuckle evilly, and you shook your head, before another changeling tried to slam into your side, only to be met with your sword. You look back at the group, and your eyes go wide. Where once stood five false Pinkies and a Pinkamena, now was Pinkamena with her knife in her mouth, surrounded by five changelings with their throats slit, choking on their own blood.
‘Did she just…? Claire said, running up to you.
‘yeah…’
‘Anyway to calm her down?’
‘Dunno, nop0ny is brave enough or stupid enough to try.’
Claire placed Harley on your head, before slowly and calmly walked over to the panting Pinkamena. You could only watch on with suspense, praying Claire knew what she was doing. She crouched down next to Pinkamena, careful not to make any sudden movements as she was eyeing her up at every step, before tickling Pinkamena.

You braced yourself, ready to jump in if things went wrong. Her eyes began to twitch, before her mane and tail sprang back to life and Pinkie burst in a fit of giggling. Harley gives you a bonk on the head.
‘Why did you never think of that?’ She says
‘Let’s face it. I’m brave, but not that brave.’ You say.
You look around the cavern. It was littered with the bodies of changelings, green blood splattered the walls. You look over to your friends, and smile with relief. They were all okay, if a little shaken up and scratched. You then turn to Queen Chrysalis to see her horrified look.
‘Well, what did I say?’ you say ‘I offered you peace, but you declined.’
You swing the sword towards Chrysalis, pointing it at her. The girls surrounded you, while Claire stood in the corner, still afraid of the dead changelings around her.
‘YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP US!’ Chrysalis screamed into seemingly nowhere. ‘WHERE’S THE HELP?!’
You look back at the Mane 6 and Luna. They give you a confused look and shrugged. You suddenly spin when you hear it. A laugh like no other, a laugh you recognised easily. You just couldn’t believe he was here.
‘My my my, what chaos we have caused…’ It said.

The entire group freezes at the voice. They tense up, preparing the Elements for a strike. You, on the other hand, were bouncing up and down, squealing like a school girl.
‘Lokie!’ Rainbow Dash yells ‘What the BUCK are you doing?!’
‘It’s him!’ you yell ‘IT’S Q!!!’
The entire room falls silent. No sound of magic glowing, no p0ny breathing, no evil chuckle. Then it came, the sound of a facepalm, coming from the corner where Claire stood.
‘You are a fuckwit, you know that?’ she says.
‘What?’
‘It’s fucking Discord, ya moron!’
‘Oh…’ you stop being giddy ‘Oh, that was my second choice.’
There was a click of fingers, and you spin to see Discord sitting on a couch, a bucket of popcorn in his lap.
‘Still pretty cool, though.’ You say with a smile.
‘WHAT?!?!’ Everyp0ny screams.
‘I mean, apart from the whole “Kill everyp0ny, destroy the town” shit, the pranks were really cool.’
You see the smile on Discord’s face grow.
‘You mean that?’ he says.
‘Oh, of course. Cotton candy clouds and chocolate milk are the best.’ You lower your sword to the ground ‘Claire said you were a bully, but I knew that there needed to be chaos for order to survive.’
Discord slithers off the couch and wraps you in his body.
‘Oh, human! I never knew I had such a fan. And seeing how strong you are, I just can’t wait to turn you to my side.’
He tries to place a talon of his eagle claw on your forehead, but you dodge.
‘Wait! I wanted to show you something. Something only the king of chaos, the sultan of sides-bursting,  something only you could appreciate.’

Discord unwraps himself from you, giving you a smile.
‘Okay, what is it you want to show me?’ he says
You bow to him, before spinning around and lifting Fluttershy off the ground and towards you. Everyp0ny gasps, and prepare to jump you with an attack, before you tenderly grab Fluttershy in your arms.
‘Don’t worry,’ you whisper to Fluttershy ‘I’m not going to hurt you.’
Fluttershy gives you a nervous nod, before hiding behind her mane. You point her towards Discord, and give him an equally evil grin. Squeezing her tummy, Fluttershy quickly raises her hooves to her mouth, trying not to make a sound.
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5KUxx2wZX4
You do it again, this time with a bit more force, and she can’t hold it back. Fluttershy makes a squeak like a toy from back home, before erupting in a blush and hiding behind her mane.
Discord erupts into laughter, rolling on the ground, and the rest of the group grow even more confused.
‘So…’ Discord calms down ‘So, do they all do that.’
You smile again. ‘Of course. Fluttershy is the second funniest.’
‘Ooo…You have peaked my intrest, human.’
‘Please, Master, call me Lokie.’

You turn to Claire to see she is trying to hide her smile. You give her a wink, and she nods back.
‘Dear sister, who should go next?’ you ask.
‘I think Pinkie Pie is the one you are looking for.’ She says with a smile.
You put Fluttershy on the ground, kissing her on the forehead as thanks.
‘Pinkie, if you please?’
Pinkie smiles and bounces towards you and into your arms, giving you a giggle. You face her towards Discord like you did with Fluttershy.
‘Show me how funny Miss Pie is.’ Discord says.
‘Of course Master.’
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TvXGdIfYxk&feature=fvwrel
You squeeze Pinkie Pie, and she doesn’t hold back. While Fluttershy sounded like a squeaky toy, Pinkie Pie could only be described as a fog horn of power. The force of the blast of sound knocked Discord off the ground, flying into the wall, and you in turn, jumped into action.
You leap from where you were, dropping Pinkie to the ground, and tackled Discord around the neck. You bring your sword to his neck, pressing it into him.
‘Do you really think you can stop me?’ He chokes out.
‘I just need to hold you so the girls can shoot your shit and get this done with.’
‘Too bad while you are here, no one can protect your sister.’ Came a voice.
You look to see Chrysalis, her horn glowing a sickly green, forming an energy ball, before releasing it towards your unsuspecting sister.

Time seemed to slow down exponentially for the entire room. The energy ball launched itself towards Claire, and you leapt from Discord’s neck, trying to follow it. The Mane 6 and Luna tried to make a force field to protect Claire, while Harley and Iron could only watch on in horror. Claire’s eyes went wide as she saw the ball fly for her, and she grasped her amulet you created for her. The light pink protection spell sprang up immediately, but shattered when it met the powerful changeling spell.
You watched in horror as the energy ball slammed into Claire’s waist, and blasted her into the wall behind her. You grabbed her as she started to slide down, and immediately tried to get to work. Your left arm glowed green, and the healing spell started…but nothing was working. Her blackened wound wasn’t getting smaller.
‘NO!!’ you cry ‘NO NO NO NO NO!’
‘Lachlan…’ Claire says ‘Lachlan…stop…’
The tears fell from your eyes as you put more power into it. ‘NO! I told mum and dad I would protect you! You were my baby, and I will save you! Not again…’
You feel a hand on your face, and look as Claire smiles at you.
‘It’s okay… It was my time…’ she whispers.
You feel her heartbeat fade away, and her hand slip from your face. You immediately spin, staring absolute rage at Discord and Chrysalis, who were both laughing at you.
‘YOU!!’ you scream.
‘Yes,’ Discord says ‘Give me your rage. Give me your anger. Give me your chaos.’

Your left arm glowed green, the light slipping up your arm to your shoulder and down your legs. In a few seconds, your entire body glowed green. Your friends and family could only watch on as your body glowed green, but jumped when they heard you scream.
‘AAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!’ you cried, letting out all the rage you had.
Your mind flashed everything from Claire’s life. Bringing her home and her grabbing your finger; You promising your parents you would protect her; her first words; the first time she said she loved you; when she fell asleep on your head. The light surrounding your body became lighter and brighter.
 The day Claire came home, saying someone beat her up. Coming home to find your parents angry you kicked that kids ass. Telling Claire mum and dad are dead; looking after her for 5 years; seeing her again after being in another dimension; seeing her law degree. The aura became a white light, and your hair stood on end from the power. Slowly, the black from your hair was washed with pure white.
Everyp0ny saw your rage blast out, but Luna looked like you were about to explode. Discord and Chrysalis were surprised, but didn’t look worried.
‘YOU WANTED MY RAGE, DISCORD!!’ you cried out ‘WELL HERE IT COMES!!’
You leap at Discord with a frightful speed, clutching him around the throat.
‘Yes, yes! Give me that tasty…’ Discord started to cough. ‘That tasty chaos…’
Discord started to cough more, black blood flying from his mouth.
‘What is *cough* THIS?!’ he cried ‘Chaos shouldn’t be like this!’
‘It’s not Chaos, Discord.’ Luna said in a straight face, almost afraid ‘It’s pure order.’

‘WHAT?! NO!!’  He screamed before you punched him in the face.
‘This is for my sister, for you took her life!’ you say, punching him in the face again ‘she was innocent, and you had her killed.’
You slammed his face into the ground, breaking his other fang and splattered blood on yourself.
‘She had no reason to be taken!’
You broke off his goat horn, to which Discord screamed in agony.
‘She was the sweetest, quietest girl ever! SHE WAS HERE FOR MY WEDDING!!’
You grabbed his little bat wing, and ripped it off.
‘MERCY!!’ Discord screamed ‘PLEASE…. FOR YOUR SISTER!!’
You stop and looked at him, before stabbing him with his broken horn.
‘How many times did Claire scream for mercy?! ‘
Chrysalis grabbed you in her magic, and ripped you off Discord. He pushed himself off the ground, and leapt at you.
‘Now you can scream for mercy, like she did.’ He said.
He drove his lion’s paw at your chest, aiming for your heart. The minute it entered the white aura, the hand shrivelled black and crumbled away.
‘AARRRGHHH!!! Discord screamed.
You clutch Discord around the throat, pulling him towards you.
‘You know what, Discord? I am going to do the only thing Celestia couldn’t do.’ You brought his eyes to your own. ‘I am going to kill you, so you never escape again.’
You send Discord flying with a blast of white energy, filling the whole room with magic. Discord flies into the opposite wall, a sickening snap rang out through the cavern. You fly after him, slamming him by his neck into the wall.
‘Any last words?’ you growl.
Discord could only gurgle out a sound and you irradiated his body with your white magic, crumbling his body away into nothing.
‘Lokie…?’ came a voice.
You turn around, and your heart dropped.

Five minutes ago, while you fought against Discord, the Mane 6 and Luna could only watch on. Twilight looked at Luna with shock.
‘Princess, did you say Lokie was using…order?’ she said.
‘Yes. Somehow he has tapped into pure white magic.’ Luna said, quite grimly.
‘Oh Celestia no…’
‘What? WHAT?!’ Rainbow Dash said ‘What is so bucking wrong with this magic.’
Luna turned to Rainbow.
‘Miss Dash-‘
‘It’s Anonymous now. I’m Lokie’s wife.’
‘White magic is the opposite of chaos.’ Luna sat down next to Rainbow dash.‘It is powerful, running off positive emotions like love and happiness. It can heal things with a small amount, and has been rumoured to be able to revive the dead.’
A wave of white energy washed over all of them.
‘But…why is that bad? Lokie’s going to win.’ Dash said.
‘White magic is banned because it takes so much to do. You have to sacrifice your own life force to create such an energy to cause perfect reanimation.’
‘So…’ Dash’s eyes filled with tears.
‘Daddy is going to die?’ Harley said, already crying.
‘I…I’m so sorry, Rainbow Dash.’ Twilight said. ‘I wish it wasn’t so.’
‘So, he will die so I can live?’ came a voice.
They all turned to see Claire sitting up against the wall, examining the hole in her shirt where she was shot before. Harley bounded to Claire, wrapping her in a hug. Suddenly, she was tackled as  everyp0ny tackled her in a hug, holding her close.
‘I’m sorry to break this up,’ Claire says, wiping away a few tears ‘But this might be ending soon.’

You stood there, white energy flowing over your body, black blood on your hands. Claire stood in front of you, tears filling her eyes, a hole in her clothes where she had been shot. Around you, changelings rose from the dead, their wounds healed. You quickly spun to look at Queen Chrysalis.
‘YOU!’ she flinched at your voice. ‘Leave, and never return to Equestria.’
She looked at you in fear, before running down the tunnel, followed by her changeling subjects. When they all left, you turned and hugged Claire close to you.
‘I am sorry, Claire.’ You say, crying ‘I am sorry I couldn’t protect you.’
‘Lokie… you are going to die…’ Claire whispered
‘I had a feeling it was like that.’ You say ‘It feels like everything has been torn from me.’
You break the hug, and walk back over to the group. Nop0ny had a dry eye, all were about to lose a close friend or family member. Rainbow Dash flew into your arms, crying into your chest.
‘Why…Why did you have to go kill yourself not an hour after we get married?’
‘Let’s face it. I never thought things through.’ You chuckle, before holding her close. ‘I’m sorry you married such an idiot, Dashie.’
You feel your chest getting damper, and the tears form in your eyes.
‘ Pinkie?’ You look to Pinkie, who had lost all colour and bounce from herself. ‘Can you get us some music?’
Pinkie wipes away a tear and pulls out a record player and disc.
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EjVGG4f4Ic
The song starts, and you hold Rainbow in your arms, slowly swaying with the music. You can’t hold back the tears, crying into Rainbow’s mane.

Pain shot through you as your organs failed. You cringed, trying to hold yourself up as the song comes to an end. The music slowly finishes, and you release her from your arms, before stumbling over to the wall. You slide down the wall, and sit using it as support.
‘Looks like it’s almost over.’ You say ‘I gotta say, this REALLY was fun.’ You look up to see everyone surrounding you. ‘RIGHT! Everyp0ny and human line up for a final hug.’
Twilight was first. She gave you a hug, trying to hold back tears. ‘Twi, smart friend. Never forget to have fun in life and cut Spike a break. Tell him that he was my top tier bro.’
‘Pinkie, you were the first p0ny I met. So many parties, so much fun.’ You breathed in her mane one last time. ‘Do us a favour and make everyp0ny smile for me.’
‘Fluttershy,’ She cried into your shoulder ‘You are never as tall as when you stand up for yourself. Be brave for me please.’
‘AJ…’
‘Lokie, Ah’m sorry-‘
‘No, I am. You were a good boss, and a great friend. Liiiiiittle too persistent with love.’
‘Rarity, you are a damn good seamstress. I was proud to say I was wearing something from the “weird shaved monkey line”. Look after Spike for me.’
 ‘Luna…’ she lifts you with magic so you can hug her better. ‘Stop yelling at every p0ny you bucking meet.’ She laughs. ‘Thank you for being my friend, even if I am a commoner.’
‘Stupid Lokie…’ She tried to hide her tears as she lowered you to the wall again.

Harley teleported onto your lap, tears streaming down her face. You couldn’t hold on, you cried too.
‘I’m sorry Harley. I couldn’t be here forever.’ You say
‘Daddy…’ she cries, falling into your chest.
‘Be good to mommy for me. She loves you very much.’
Harley stays in your lap as Claire sits next to you.
‘I’m sorry about all this, Claire…’
‘It’s okay Lachlan… I guess it means I have to stay here to look after your family.’
‘Like fuck you will.’
‘And how will you stop me?’ she chuckles, trying to hide her sadness.
‘I… I guess it’s time to go see Mom and Dad soon.’
Rainbow sits next to Harley and looks at you.
‘I was never as happy as I was for the entire time I was married to you.’ She said.
‘I never loved you more than I did, just by waking up next to you.’
You give her a final hug goodbye, before looking over to behind everyp0ny else to see Iron Hooves holding on to his last emotions. You wave him to come sit next to you.
He sits on his haunches next to you. ‘I…I’m really sorry, Lokie. I couldn’t make the amulet any more powerful.’
‘Don’t stress.’ You say. You look at him, and see he is doing his best to stop the tears. You look up to the ceiling. ‘Oh great…’ everyp0ny else look up ‘It’s raining.’
‘But…Lokie?’ Twilight says ‘We’re in a cave.’
‘No,’ tears fall down your face ‘I’m pretty sure it’s raining. Right Iron?’ you turn to him, and wink.
‘Oh…o-of course it is.’ He says before letting his tears run.
Soon, everyp0ny catches on, and as your heart finally gives out and you take your last breath, you smile at the life you left behind.

You awake on a bed of clouds, a soft breeze blowing across your body. You stand to see a landscape of off-white clouds and a blue line of sky of bright blue. You look around to see two more humans standing before you, a man and a woman, both middle aged. The man was about 6 ft, short black hair with green eyes. The woman, 5’8 with curly brown hair, and blue eyes.
‘So…been some time.’ You say.
’10 years and no call.’ Says the man.
‘Ouija boards are expensive.’
‘Look at your hair!’ says the woman ‘What have you done to it?’
You look up to see a crown of pure white hair ‘wow, 10 years and you still nag me. It’s good to see you mum.’
She gives you a hug, and you hug her back. You look to the man.
‘Permission to drop the act.’ You say
‘Don’t give me that shit.’ He says, opening his arms.
You give him a hug, breaking down in tears. ‘Oh god, Dad… I’m sorry for everything I said.’
‘It’s okay, Lachlan.’ He says, crying too. ‘I am proud you stepped up to protect your baby sister.’
‘But… I didn’t. She died…and then so did I.’
‘You gave your life to save Claire.’ Mum says ‘I think that deserves a second chance.’


You finish hugging your parents, wiping away any tears you had left. The three of you walked across the clouds, seeing nothing but skyline.
‘So, this is the afterlife?’ you say.
‘Yeah.’ Dad says ‘Free booze, no aging and all your friends come hang out after some time.’
‘And I assume you saw the past 5 years?’
‘Lachlan, honey.’ Mum places a hand on your face ‘HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL US WE WERE GRANDPARENTS?!?’
‘oh for fucks sake mum.’ You laugh ‘So you don’t care she is…’
‘A p0ny? Ah fuck no.’ Dad says ‘She’s sentient, you’re sentient, your wife is sentient. You did well.’
He leans in close to you ‘So, what’s it like doing a p0ny?’
‘Dad, seriously? I will kick your ass with my… Hey, if I’m dead, is lefty up here?’
You feel something tugging your leg. You look down to see a detached left arm looking up at you.
‘LEFTY!!’ you grab your old left arm, nuzzling it close to you. ‘I’m so sorry I left you alone in there. Did the mean old doggies hurt you?’
‘What are you going to do with it?’ mum asks.
‘Back scratcher! ‘ you say with a massive grin, giving Dad an extra arm high-5.
‘God, you two are so childish.’
‘Did you know Claire is a lawyer?’
‘Yeah, we are so proud of her.’ Dad says.
‘Why can’t you be a lawyer?’
‘I travelled inter dimensions, killed a dragon, cut off my own arm, killed a god and gave my life for her.’
‘Yet, you are not a lawyer.’
‘Come on, we have to get you to the gate.’ Dad says.
You walk along with them ‘What gate?’
‘Well, you technically aren’t in yet.’ Dad says ‘We need to get you to the gates to sign you in.’

In a quick flash, you find yourself standing at a golden pair of gates. In front of them stood a tall white Alicorn with a bright flame for a mane. You immediately drop to a knee, showing her utter respect.
‘Rise Lachlan Anonymous.’ She says in a soothing voice.
‘Thank you, Queen Galaxia.’ You say.
‘You know of me?’ she gives you a quizzical look.
‘Your daughter Luna speaks highly of you and your husband, King Eternity. Especially King Eternity…Okay, let’s face it. He scares the shit out of me and I haven’t met him.’
‘Please don’t. He is constantly pulling the “Pull my hoof” prank.’
‘With a flame tail, you can imagine how cool that is.’ Dad whispers.
You both chuckle at the idea of a big black alicorn shooting a fart like a rocket, before getting The Stare from mum.
‘Sorry…’
‘Okay, let’s get you sign in and awa… Hmm?’
‘What is it?’ Mum says.
‘Lachlan isn’t on the list.’
‘Oh no…you don’t mean-‘
‘No, sorry. I mean he isn’t on the least, meaning he isn’t to die yet.’
‘What?’ is all you can muster.
‘It seems you have to be sent home after all this trouble.’
You chuckle, which turns to a laugh. You eventually break up laughing in front of the scariest people you know.
‘So…So I just said goodbye to everyp0ny just to be sent back?’
‘I do apologise.’
‘No…no don’t. It’s fine. I just hope I can get back in time before I take a dirt nap.’
Galaxia gives you a nod, and her horn glows.
‘Any message for Claire?’
‘Tell her we love her and miss her and we are proud of you both.’ Mum says.
‘Tell her if a boy touches her, I’ll haunt him.’ Dad adds.
You are taken in a white light again, and wave goodbye to your parents.

Three days after your wedding and then death, a funeral was held for you. Those who were there for your wedding, were now there for your funeral, to say a final goodbye. When Celestia heard about your death, she broke down. You had been known to show the entirety of the Elements of Harmony, and sacrificing yourself to destroy a serious threat from Equestria. She had a statue made of you, inscribed as the Hero of Canterlot.
Your body lay in the coffin in your favourite suit, surrounded by gifts all your friends left for you. Muffins from Derpy, balloons from Pinkie Pie, flowers from families. Gifts left for you, as a thanks for your works. On the podium stood a white mare with a red and black mane, tears in her eyes.
‘Hello, my name is Harley Quin. My dad saved me from a dragon when I was a filly, when I tried to have him killed no less. He loved me even before knowing me. Time and time again, he saved me and the town. He was brave, smart and never held a grudge. Today, we come together to wish him a final farewell.’ Harley teleported to your coffin, giving you a kiss goodbye.
One after the other, your closest friends came and spoke about what you meant to them, and how what you did helped them in life. The final person to speak was Claire. She stood at the podium, and looked out into the crowd.
‘Hello, my name is Claire Anonymous. Most of you don’t know me, but I was Lokie’s baby sister. 5 years ago, Lokie was lost in my world, only to turn up here. He loved me from the day I was born to the day he died.

Claire wiped back more tears ‘I missed his wedding because I was captured by changelings. Being the person he was, and especially the big brother he was, he ran in to save me. He gave his life for mine, and I will never forget him. I ask that none of you forget this human, for every time we spoke over the years, he would tell me of the friends me made in a land of p0nies. I thank you for being there for him, and I thank you for being here now.’
Claire left the podium, her eyes filling with tears, and sat down with Rainbow and Harley. One last voice ran through the group, one that shocked all of the p0nies there.
‘I’m sorry to interrupt, but why do p0nies always assume I’m dead when I take a nap?’
All eyes shot up and looked towards the podium. Standing there, in your favourite suit, white hair and green eyes, metal arm and all, you stood with a smile.
Claire slowly rose from her seat and looked at you, followed by Harley and then Rainbow Dash. Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie; all got up from their seats.
‘In conclusion, I quote my favourite movie:
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=4zwKB6Vnq8s#t=23s
You ran from the podium, six full grown mares, you little filly and a human female chased after you. You ran out of the chapel and into the streets of Canterlot, missing three high class stallions as you did. You zigzag through the back streets, trying to lose the precession that followed, dodging the many Pinkie Pie forth wall tackles. As you turn a right hand bend, you find yourself face to face with a dead end.
‘BANZAI!!’ came a voice, and you look up, only to get attacked by a fuzzy ball of white.

You lift Harley from your face, only to get spear tackled by Claire. This was followed by Rainbow, Fluttershy, Applejack, Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie Pie jumping on top of you.
‘HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE?!? Claire screams at you.
‘Help…’ you say ‘So much fluffy…’
‘ZOMBIE DADDY!’ Harley screams.
‘Please…send help.’ You whisper.
‘Lachlan…’ Claire looks at you, tears in her eyes. ‘I can’t keep thinking you are dead.’
‘I’m…I’m sorry Claire. I was dead though… and I can tell you…if I wasn’t getting crushed.’
Everyp0ny climbed off you, except Harley, who had nuzzled herself into your hair. You sat up against a wall, taking in as much airs as possible. When you look up, you immediately see Rainbow with tears in her eyes.
‘Come here…’you say, tears in your eyes.
She trots over, and you take her in your arms, holding her close.
‘So…what was it like?’ Twilight said.
‘Painful…yet calming. I woke on the clouds of Elysium where my parents waited for me.’
‘You saw…mum and dad?’ Claire said with a smile.
‘Yeah. 10 years of nagging in 5 minutes.’ You chuckle ‘but they were always watching us. They are proud. I also met Queen Galaxia.’
‘Really?!’ Dash said.
‘Yep, she was there and then sent me home. She is really nice. Funny part was, I thought I had white hair.’
They looked at each other with worried looks, and Claire pulled out a compact mirror and showed it to you.
‘You have to be shitting me.’ You say ‘I look like a fucking old guy with this hair.’
Everyp0ny giggled at your outburst, before helping you to your feet.

After you came back to the castle, you explained to everyp0ny what had happened, and thanked them for being so understanding. Hugging 300+ p0nies was tiring, but it was better than being dead. The hardest part was speaking to the Princesses.
‘HOW THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DID YOU COME BACK TO LIFE?!?’ Luna screamed at you.
‘OW! Fuck that hurts!’ you say, clutching your ears. ‘You can thank your mother for that.’
‘So you were at the gates of Elysium?’ Celestia said.
‘Better than being at Tartarus, being asked to pull the king’s hoof.’
Celestia facehoofs and Luna giggles.
‘Can I keep my statue?’ you ask.
‘Of course Lokie.’ Celestia said ‘You banished Discord from this plane.’
‘And almost killed myself. Seriously, never again. But I need to get going, I have a honeymoon to enjoy with my beautiful wife.’
You bow to the princesses, before heading back to your room to grab your stuff. You meet Claire along the way, and she walks with you.
‘So Dash and I will be in Hoofington for the week. You gunna be okay with Harley?’
‘Stupid brother. P0nies are for me.’ She gives you a smile.
‘I’m sorry for the scare.’ You say ‘And I have a favour to ask.’
You walk into your room to see Harley and Rainbow waiting for you. You grab your suitcase and pull out 2 vials and 2 pieces of parchment. Handing the vials to Rainbow and Harley, they quickly drink it.
‘I need you to send this letter to these people.’ You say ‘And in return, you get to have a family picture.’
Claire smiles at you, and gives you a massive hug.

Claire sat at her desk in the law office she worked, sealing the last envelope on her desk, when her receptionist walked in.
‘Claire, the notes for the next case.’ She said.
‘Thank you Jessica.’ Claire replied.
‘Who are these people?’ Jess said, picking up the photo frame.
It was a family portrait of Claire with a man with white hair, a woman with rainbow hair and a small girl with red and black hair.
‘Oh, that’s my brother, Lachlan; his wife Amelia and their little girl, Harley-Quin.’
‘Oh, I didn’t know you had a brother.’
‘He lives in Australia, teaching high school kids.’
‘Nice…Umm, Claire?’
Claire smiled ‘You want to know about the hair?’ Jess nodded ‘They are crazy as all fuck. It makes visiting them very fun.’
‘Do you see them often?’
‘Not a lot, but enough to remind me what I miss about them.’
‘Okay, well do you want to come for lunch with me?’
‘Yes, thank you. I need to post some envelopes anyway.’
Claire gathered the stack of envelopes and walked out with a smile.

Throughout the country, many emerald envelopes were sent to different houses and institutions. How the sender was able to track the recipients down was the most confusing, almost like magic. The letter read as such:

To the members of the Anonymous Club,

I am sorry that I disappeared off the face of the earth completely. I had planned on moving and after my car accident, I thought it was as good a time as any to get a new life going. I am currently living in central Australia with my beautiful wife, Amelia and lovely daughter, Harley-Quin. I am currently working as a teacher for a small school, helping children with English studies.
I write to you to give you the final words. Pale, go get a tan for once. Seriously man, you look like an albino. Chronicler, thank you for keeping order in our tight knit group. Rope, I thank you for being there for me. And Douglas, I know you are out there somewhere. I want you to know I couldn’t have done all this without you. You were a great friend, and a wonderful writer. To the rest of you, I have this to say. Though we started off as a small group, it has grown to great heights, and I offer this advice. Keep writing, no matter what gets in your way. You can create the next generation of writers, so don’t stop.
 In the words of Frank Herbert: “There is no real ending. It is just the place where you stop the story.”

Signed,
Lachlan Anonymous
A Pilot, a Trickster and their Harlequin.

P.S.
Lulzies, I know we were room mates, but if you try to hit on my sister, I will shove an echidna up your ass.