κάκτοςμς

κάκτοςμς was once a renowned warrior of the proud cacti race. They were peaceful and prosperous, being generally awesome bad-asses and urethra raping all evildoers. However, all that changed when the the vile starfish, led by their most atrocious leader, ψάρια αστέρι, declared war on the passive cacti. Outnumbered, and out-armed, it seemed as if the cacti were doomed. However, the ancient cacti fighting style, Ο δρόμος της βελόνας (The Way of the Needle), trifled the starfish's attempt of prevailing. For every cactus warrior slain, a hundred starfish feel lifeless on the ground. Just when it seemed the cacti would prevail, ψάρια αστέρι unveiled his secret weapon. He called upon the forbidden power of εw to disintegrate the the cactus spikes of his enemies. Then, using the power of the cacti spikes, ψάρια αστέρι now possessed, he cast a spell on his starfish soldiers, massively increasing their strength and speed. With their primary weapon gone, and the starfish much more powerful than before, the cacti were left virtually defenseless. Cactus after cactus fell to the ground, as the evil starfish leader cackled. As his cactus brothers fell the the ground, κάκτοςμς knew he had no choice. He had to use the vial. Picking up a stake, κάκτοςμς fought through starfish after starfish. Even spike-less, the starfish were no match for him. κάκτοςμς was swifter than Will getting rejected, more resilient than Wyatt's "girlfriend", and stronger than a raging Kyd. Thousands of starfish dead behind him, κάκτοςμς has finally cut a path to ψάρια αστέρι. κάκτοςμς prepared to battle the vile starfish, but ψάρια αστέρι only laughed. More and more starfish poured across the land, blotting out the ground. ψάρια αστέρι was too cowardly to fight on his own. However, κάκτοςμς was aware of this. As starfish swarmed around him, he hefted up his wielded stake, and poured αγία πόρνη αίματος (holy hooker blood) upon the stake's tip. And then, with one mighty yell, he hurled the stake like a spear across the battlefield, directly into ψάρια αστέρι's mouth/anus. As the stake penetrated through his body, the vile creature fell. Although the powers of εw are indeed mighty, they come at one drastic drawback: as the user dies, his minions die with him. And so, as ψάρια αστέρι lay dead on the ground, every one of the starfish soldiers collapsed, dead. The cacti had prevailed. For his brilliant skill and tact, the cacti gods deemed κάκτοςμς immortal, so that he may forever protect the cacti from the vile starfish. He will forever be praised.