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Dynamic Inertia

Jan 5th, 2013
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  1. >Day Trey Parker in Equestria
  2. >Wake up
  3. >Do your morning routine
  4. >Shave while showering in your shit
  5. >Or something like that, at least
  6. >Go downstairs
  7. >Have nutricious breakfast of sugar frosted sugar
  8. >The toy in the box is an insulin needle
  9. >Hear knock on the door
  10. >Open it up
  11. >It's Fluttershy
  12. >She is standing on her hind legs, clumsily fumbling with a shakeweight clenched between her front hooves
  13. >Its really hard for her to hold on to the thing while shaking it, considering she can't get a grip
  14. >Still, her arms are jiggling rhythmicly and it would be quite enticing to look at if she wasn't a horse
  15. >You bite your lip a little as you look at the sweatbeads gathering on her brow
  16. >Damn this is getting kind of hot
  17. >Snap yourself out of it, and try to act as aloof as possible
  18. "Oh hi Fluttershy, what do you want?"
  19. >"H-hi A-anon.. I wanted to know.."
  20. >She is having trouble speaking, due to her focus having to be entirely on holding the shakeweight
  21. >"I.. I wanted to k-know if the s-suggestive motion of m-me using this shakeweight is your fetish?"
  22. >Suddenly the shakeweight talks with a robotic voice
  23. >"NOW SWITCH ARMS"
  24. >Fluttershy eeps and drops the shakeweight, she was clearly startled
  25. >"OW YOU DROPPED ME YOU CUNT"
  26. >You stare in surprise at the shakeweight
  27. >Appearantly its voice commands are more advanced in Equestria due to p0ny magic
  28. >Fluttershy hastens to pick the shakeweight up from the floor, making sure to turn her back to you first so you get a good look at her plot while she bends over
  29. >"U-uhm.. I-i'm sorry Mr. S-shakeweight"
  30. >"YOU BETTER BE YOU SLUT, NOW STICK YOUR FINGER IN ME"
  31. >You look amused upon this scene, as a blushing Fluttershy tries to jam her way oversized hoof into the tiny hole on the bottom of the shakeweight
  32. >She fumbles and drops the shakeweight again
  33. >"GODDAMNIT YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE BITCH"
  34. >"IM SO MAD I CANT EVEN SHAKE RIGHT NOW, GOING TO FUCKING SLEEP MODE"
  35. >The shakeweight beeps and shuts down
  36. >"Uhh... I d-don't suppose that turned you on.. d-did it?"
  37. "Not really no"
  38. >The whole situation has given you a good idea to get rid of Fluttershy though
  39. "But I tell you what Fluttershy, it almost did.. Wanna know why?"
  40. >Fluttershy is intrigued and nods her head up and down like a madman
  41. "My fetish... is handjobs"
  42. >Fluttershy gives a squee of excitement as she finally learns your fetish
  43. >She pounces on top of you and starts trying to undo your pants with her hooves
  44. >"W-why didn't you say so before? I c-can totally do that!"
  45. >You keep calm and answer
  46. "Fluttershy, when I said handjobs, I meant HANDjobs, not those dirty hooves of yours
  47. >You are impressed with how fast the look of joy washes away from Fluttershy to be replaced by one of utter defeatedness
  48. >"O-oh..."
  49. "Now get outta here"
  50. >Fluttershy sulks off to her cottage
  51. >See she has left the shakeweight behind
  52. >Pick it up and bring it inside
  53. >Figure that although you don't lift, this might prove to be a suitable alternative
  54. >Put the shakeweight on your nightstand
  55. >The rest of your day is without incident, and after a long night of arguing with strangers on the internet, you go to bed
  56. >Day Matt Stone in Equestria
  57. >Wake up
  58. >You feel really good
  59. >Notice this is because you are being jerked off under the covers
  60. >Wait.. thats not right
  61. >Tear away the covers
  62. >See Fluttershy, pumping on your shaft with... HANDS?
  63. >Stare and see Fluttershy has ducttaped two cut-off hands to her hooves and is using them to spank your monkey
  64. >Where the fuck did she get those?
  65. >Realise you feel a tingling sensation in your arms
  66. >Look to see that your hands have been chopped off
  67. >Your brilliant plan was obviously not that much of a succes
  68. >Fluttershy is staring at you with the biggest grin
  69. >She thinks she has found your fetish, and is giving you the ride of your life
  70. >For some reason she assumed that pleasure would outweigh the loss of your hands
  71. >She is of course very very wrong
  72. >Do your best to pick her up so you can toss her out your window, but you cant get a grip because... no hands
  73. >You are pretty fucked... literally
  74. >Suddenly hear a beep
  75. >The shakeweight on your nightstand has switched back on
  76. >And it's pissed
  77. >"WHAT THE HELL? I GO TO SLEEP FOR ONE DAY AND YOU IMMIDATELY FUCK SOMEONE ELSE?"
  78. >"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT TO ME YOU... YOU WHORE!"
  79. >The shakeweight launches itself from your nightstand and lands on Fluttershy's head
  80. >Fluttershy hurts and grabs the shakeweight
  81. >The shakeweight squirts its cooldown liquid in Fluttershy's eyes
  82. >Fluttershy yelps and drops the shakeweight on your bed
  83. >She tries to rub the fluid from her eyes using her hooves, but due to the taped on hands she only ends up poking herself in the eye some more
  84. >The shakeweight times its shakes again so it can launch itself
  85. >It hits Fluttershy hard in her lower jaw, you see a bit of blood run down your lip
  86. >Fluttershy falls of your bed and rolls around on the floor in agony
  87. >Take the opportunity to sit upwards
  88. >Get out of bed and walk over to Fluttershy
  89. >Start kicking her
  90. >Fluttershy whimpers
  91. >"B-but I thought you w-wanted this?"
  92. "GIVE ME BACK MY HANDS YOU PSYCHO!"
  93. >Keep kicking her, the shakeweight has jumped off of the bed and is also doing everything in its power to hurt Fluttershy
  94. >Fluttershy gets up and runs off crying, leaving your hands behind
  95. >Reattach hands to your arms, they instantly click into place and are fully functional again because of [reasons]
  96. >Pick up the shakeweight
  97. "Oh shakeweight thank you! You saved me from rape!"
  98. >"D-DON'T MENTION IT.. SHE BETRAYED ME, I THOUGHT SHE LOVED ME BUT SHE BETRAYED ME"
  99. "Oh but shakeweight... I love you.."
  100. >You bring the fitness appliance towards your lips and slide your tongue inside its hole, it does not resist
  101. >You explore the cavity eagerly with your tongue, feeling its mechanical insides
  102. >They should be cold, and yet they feel so hot to you
  103. >The shakeweight gently pulsates in your arms, letting out cute moans
  104. >"OH ANON. DON'T STOP. OH GOD."
  105. >You feel your member harden as you move your hands all over the shakeweight
  106. >Realise you aren't actually wearing any pants since you woke up from a rape attempt
  107. >Gently lower the shakeweight onto the bed
  108. >You take your rod into your hand and guide it to the shakeweights quivering hole
  109. >"NO- ANON.. LET ME"
  110. >You immediately understand what it means, and get on all fours on your bed, turning your backside to the shakeweight
  111. >The shakeweight sprays a little cooldown liquid on your anus, to act as a lubricant
  112. >"ARE YOU READY?"
  113. "For you.. always"
  114. >The shakeweight slowly inserts itself into you
  115. >It feels painful at first, but this soon gives way for an intense pleasure
  116. >The shakeweight starts shaking inside inside of you, and you have never felt this good in your life
  117. ...
  118. >After a day of intense passion where you end up burning many calories, you lie contentedly on your bed with your lover next to you
  119. >You pick up the device and head downstairs
  120. >You go to your garage, and hoist you and your shakeywakey onto your motorcycle
  121. >Together you ride off into the sunset
  122. >Today was a great day
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