Hi malik,

I'm not really sure where to start from, but I'll try my best to express myself within this letter.
9 years ago I was so afraid to let you and love me the way that a woman should be loved. I set my fears aside and welcomed you in, but as I was letting you into my heart, my safe space, you had a secret to share. I was know where near ready for the secret you had to share. As I sat there while you told me you're having a baby I died on the inside. I Felt So betrayed  by Someone Who Said They Love Me And would Never Hurt Me.i finally took down that wall of bricks and as quick as they came down was just as quickly as I ended up getting  hurt ,more pain then I could ever imagine. I'll get to the point.How can we move forward if i can't move forward in my head or for that matter forgive and live my life ?.I hope a and pray that you don't feel as if you have waste valuable time. I pray formy self and us bug i feel like im jot getting an answer .im stillong feeling alone a vode smh.I never thought that you and I would be at a standstill In this relationship, but we are .I only ask you to do one thing. Let my presents  be known. that was it and you couldn't even do that for me.yes I give you credit for everything else you've done but that one thing could have changed the whole out come of this relationship.and yes i realize that my emotions got  the best of me.but what do expect this is my first time being in love,  head  heels.  So im able to take blame for my actions. I've expressed myself a million and one times about this situation but i may never get what I want  and that feeling hurts like hell.im sorry that i got pregnant twice within 2years im sorry for wanting both of my babies, I'm sorry for wanting to have kids with you and you may not have wanted to any with me I'm sorry for every time i yelled or cursed at you  sorry for all the stress and unhappy moments we had to share I'm sorry for being emotional and not understanding of supportive when I needed to be the most I'm sorry that i couldn't be the women or the mother you hoped for me to be I'm sorry that i couldn't be everything that wanted and much more  I'm sorry that this relationship we both wanted so bad won't be able to grow and be something so beautiful. You know you always said that I was no good for you . maybe you were right .maybe we're supposed to just be friends  or not .so please know   that I love you then youll ever know and im going to always love you nomatter what and I so badly wanted you to be my everything the person who knew all my fears, and dreams the one who whiped my tears and told me itll be ok because you'll never let fall and if I did fall you would always extend your hand and pull me up ,I'm gonna miss the kisses on my forehead, the tight hugs your secent your smile and everything else about you.i truly wanted to share a lifetime with you .But the choices we make in life seems to alway destroy the things we want the most.