Roland - Grinding 2

[02:38] <Mathmatt878> in the meantime, roll intiative
[02:39] <Roland> Har har, 6
[02:39] <Mathmatt878> Well, the ogre got 4, so go ahead
[02:40] <Roland> Roland commiserates with the Ogre: "Jeez, man, I know the feel."
[02:40] <Roland> He stands firm and fires.
[02:40] <Roland> 18 to hit
[02:40] <Mathmatt878> Bangbang
[02:40] <Roland> 8 damage.
[02:40] <Roland> He twirls the gun once, satisfied.
[02:41] <Mathmatt878> The ogre demonstrates his abilities to get shot at, and would like you to demonstrate your ability to get punched in the face.
[02:41] <Mathmatt878> 11 to hit
[02:41] <Roland> AC is 13.
[02:41] <Roland> Roland apologizes for not being able to get hit in the face.
[02:41] <Mathmatt878> You suck at getting punched, not cool man.
[02:41] <Mathmatt878> Your turn.
[02:42] <Roland> Roland steps to the right a little. He likes to sidestep instead of backpedaling-it feels less lame-and fires again.
[02:42] <Roland> 5 tohit.
[02:42] <Roland> He must have stumbled during the sidestep. How embarrassing!
[02:43] <Mathmatt878> The sidestep is at least a solid 7.8/10, but didn't hit because of the lack of water.
[02:43] <Roland> Roland is confused now, and ends his turn, because spamming intimidate is for scrubs.
[02:44] <Mathmatt878> Mr. Ogre would like to try to make amends with you, and this must have been a huge misunderstand.
[02:44] <Roland> ((remind me to reload every eight shots. I'm pretty bad about that.))
[02:44] <Mathmatt878> He makes amends by punching you again
[02:44] <Mathmatt878> Rolled 5 to hit
[02:44] <Mathmatt878> (kk)
[02:44] <Roland> Roland appreciates the gesture, but ultimately politely declines.
[02:45] <Mathmatt878> The ogre decides that his time could be better spent doing something else, and ends his turn.
[02:45] <Roland> Roland pew pews the shit out of that gun in a flurry!
[02:45] <Roland> Flurry 2!
[02:46] <Roland> You rolled 1 and 7, net of a -1 modifier, unfortunately.
[02:46] <Mathmatt878> Both shots fail, and the first shot accidently uses up the rest of your ammo.
[02:46] <Roland> Really? Roland should have four shots left...
[02:47] <Mathmatt878> (no, crit fail)
[02:47] <Mathmatt878> (gotta be some kinda punishment)
[02:47] <Roland> Wait, modified 1s are still critfails?
[02:47] <Mathmatt878> (oh wait,i t was a modified 1?)
[02:47] <Mathmatt878> (nvm)
[02:47] <Roland> Yeah.
[02:47] <Mathmatt878> Ok yeah, you still got a lotta pewpew left in you.
[02:48] <Roland> Roland smiles awkwardly. "Can I claim you started it when I run to the lusus and tattle?"
[02:48] <Mathmatt878> The ogre thinks for a moment and nods.
[02:48] <Mathmatt878> "Yeah, go ahead man"
[02:48] <Roland> "Huh. That was easy. Resume your punching!"
[02:49] <Roland> "Tally ho!"
[02:49] <Mathmatt878> "Oh, aight."
[02:49] <Mathmatt878> He does so, and gets a total of 21.
[02:49] <Roland> "That's the ticket! Really lend some spirit to the strife!"
[02:49] <Mathmatt878> Rolls 5 to damage.
[02:50] <Roland> "Oof! There you are! Spirited effort!"
[02:50] <Mathmatt878> He appreciates your enthusiasm for levelling up your "get punched" skill.
[02:50] <Mathmatt878> Your turn.
[02:50] <Roland> You keep on a-shootin'!
[02:51] <Roland> Er, Roland does. He's really trying to drop that second-person writing style! He rolls a 15 tohit.
[02:51] <Mathmatt878> Rolan succeeds.
[02:51] <Roland> And a 10 for damage! HEIGH-HO, SPADE! AWAY!
[02:51] <Mathmatt878> Roland*
[02:51] <Roland> Rolan duck: "matt pls"
[02:51] <Mathmatt878> The ogre nods in agreement, that was a very good, solid hit, well done!
[02:52] <Mathmatt878> "Will that be all?""
[02:52] <Roland> In the most amicable way possible, Roland intimidates the ogre!
[02:52] <Roland> "Sadly, I'm not through thrashing you, ol' sport!"
[02:52] <Mathmatt878> "Ah, then have a go at it"
[02:52] <Roland> He rolls a four. Apparently being friendly isn't terribly intimidating!
[02:52] <Mathmatt878> Well, the ogre crit anyways, so he's not gonna be intimidated any time soon.
[02:53] <Roland> "Drat! Perhaps I'm a bit too friendly. Nonetheless, carry on!"
[02:53] <Mathmatt878> "If you insist."
[02:53] <Mathmatt878> the 12 to hit barely misses you, and the ogre shrugs.
[02:53] <Mathmatt878> "I tried"
[02:53] <Roland> "Ach, what else can you do?"
[02:54] <Mathmatt878> "I can try body slamming, if you want."
[02:54] <Mathmatt878> "It'll probably hurt a lot more."
[02:54] <Roland> "Er, that... that won't be necessary!" Roland says sheepishly.
[02:54] <Mathmatt878> "To each their own."
[02:54] <Mathmatt878> Your turn.
[02:54] <Roland> Keep on a-shootin', Roland you ledge!
[02:54] <Roland> He rolls a 10 tohit.
[02:55] <Mathmatt878> Success!
[02:55] <Roland> And only a four for damage! Who taught you how to shoot, a bat or something?!
[02:55] <Roland> Persuasion time!
[02:55] <Roland> Let's persuade sammy the ogre (if that truly is his name) to not body slam Roland next turn!
[02:55] <Roland> Roland rolls a 10.
[02:56] <Mathmatt878> The ogre gets a total of 3.
[02:56] <Roland> "Mr. Ogre, I'd, uh, greatly appreciate it if you wouldn't body-slam me next turn." Roland says, taking off his hat and putting his sincerest face on.
[02:56] <Mathmatt878> He weighs the pros and cons of your request, and humbly agress with you.
[02:56] <Roland> "Just punch for me, thanks. I always appreciate the flavor."
[02:56] <Roland> Roland ends his turn.
[02:56] <Mathmatt878> "Yeah, alright."
[02:57] <Mathmatt878> He rolled a 7, and fails to even punch you.
[02:57] <Mathmatt878> "Yeah, I think I'll try the body slam next time, if it's all the same to you."
[02:57] <Mathmatt878> End turn.
[02:58] <Roland> "Well, I suppose I won't a blame ya."
[02:58] <Mathmatt878> "Cool, man"
[02:58] <Roland> Roland briefly checks the cylinder. 3 shots left, eh? He can make it work.
[02:59] <Roland> He flurries again. Flurry 2, for three shots.
[02:59] <Roland> 5, 17, and 12, net of a -1 modifier!
[02:59] <Mathmatt878> The second two hit
[03:00] <Roland> 8 and 12 for damage
[03:00] <Mathmatt878> The first shot alone is enough to fell the beast.
[03:00] <Mathmatt878> And by fell, I mean blow up.
[03:00] <Mathmatt878> Cuz he blew up.
[03:00] <Mathmatt878> Geddit?
[03:00] <Roland> "Whew, I struggled with that recoil for a minute, but I got it under control eventually!"
[03:01] <Roland> "Er, maybe? You're a funny bird, mister narrator."
[03:01] <Roland> Roland reloads and casts heal on himself.
[03:01] <Roland> He regains 2 HP
[03:01] <Roland> He bets he can take another Ogre, god willing to send one his way.
[03:02] <Mathmatt878> The universe agrees, and an ogre appears in front of you/
[03:02] <Mathmatt878> "What the heck, why am I here?"
[03:02] <Mathmatt878> "I HAD FIVE ACES!"
[03:03] <Roland> "How is that possible?!" Roland asks, bewildered.
[03:03] <Mathmatt878> "Y'know..."
[03:03] <Mathmatt878> "Shenanigans™..."
[03:03] <Roland> "Do you cheat at cards!? Who were you cheating against?!"
[03:03] <Roland> Roland draws his gun in a quickdraw as he rolls a 15 initiative.
[03:04] <Roland> "You lousy cheater! I oughter have your head!"
[03:04] <Mathmatt878> Cheating ogre rolls a 7 to initiative, because, as it turns out, he can't cheat an online dice roller.
[03:04] <Mathmatt878> Who woulda thought?
[03:04] <Mathmatt878> Your turn first.
[03:04] <Roland> Roland fires a single shot of his 8 in an effort to regain some PP with the use of Psi Blade.
[03:05] <Roland> He rolls a 15 tohit!
[03:05] <Roland> And crits the damage roll for 13!
[03:05] <Roland> (10+3, to be clear)
[03:05] <Mathmatt878> The ogre just starts complaining about how you're probably cheating too.
[03:05] <Roland> "Wh-NO! I would never!"
[03:05] <Roland> "I take pride in my grubslinger's honor!"
[03:06] <Mathmatt878> "mmmmmmhm"
[03:06] <Mathmatt878> "Sure ya do."
[03:06] <Roland> "You lousy rat! Accusin' me of cheatin'!"
[03:06] <Roland> Roland attempts to persuade the ogre that he's not a cheater.
[03:06] <Roland> He rolls 18+2
[03:06] <Mathmatt878> 6-3
[03:07] <Mathmatt878> The ogre shrugs, maybe you're not a cheating.
[03:07] <Mathmatt878> But he assures you he isn't either!
[03:07] <Roland> Roland ends his turn, satisfied that neither of the combatants are cheaters.
[03:08] <Mathmatt878> Still a little bit angry because you might actually be a cheater, he sucker punches you.
[03:08] <Mathmatt878> Rolled 15 to hit.
[03:08] <Mathmatt878> 7 Damage.
[03:08] <Roland> "Oh, you prick! You lousy cheatin' prick!"
[03:08] <Roland> Roland cries a little as he loses that precious 7 HP.
[03:08] <Mathmatt878> The ogre is offended, and shows you the cards to assure you that he is not cheating.
[03:08] <Mathmatt878> You see that the fifth ace is the Ace of Apples.
[03:09] <Roland> "No you dolt! Yeh can't have FIVE ACES in a-oh."
[03:09] <Roland> "How-"
[03:09] <Roland> "I don't-"
[03:09] <Roland> "Oh, fuck it, whatever."
[03:09] <Mathmatt878> Pleased with your confusion, the ogre ends his turn.
[03:09] <Roland> Roland's confusion does nothing to mitigate his displeasure with the sucker punch.
[03:10] <Roland> He fires a flurry. Flurry 2 for three shots, because I'm too lazy to change the formula.
[03:10] <Roland> 5-1, 10-1, 9-1
[03:10] <Roland> For 4, 9, and 8
[03:10] <Mathmatt878> Last two hit.
[03:11] <Roland> ((Man, that is a really common occurrence with flurry for some reason.))
[03:11] <Mathmatt878> (Shrug)
[03:11] <Roland> Roland struggles with the recoil of the first shot! This is a big ass gun, after all!
[03:11] <Roland> ((Is it 2d10+3, or 2d10+6?))
[03:11] <Mathmatt878> (Im not actually sure)
[03:11] <Mathmatt878> (ill check)
[03:12] <Roland> ((Mods don't stack.))
[03:13] <Mathmatt878> (kk)
[03:13] <Roland> ...buuuut that doesn't seem to hurt Roland much, as he does a *solid* 18 damage anyway!
[03:13] <Mathmatt878> The ogre dies, and you are left with the ace of apples on the floor.
[03:13] <Mathmatt878> It wasn't even the ace of apples!
[03:13] <Mathmatt878> It was just a drawing of an apple on the back of a card!
[03:13] <Roland> "ARGH! YOU CHEATIN' PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"
[03:13] <Mathmatt878> Which happened to be a real ace of apples.
[03:14] <Mathmatt878> This is just a roller coaster of emotions.
[03:14] <Roland> "oh well thats ok i guess"
[03:14] <Roland> "OR IS IT?! ARGH! YOU STRANGE PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"