letters from texas 1

Hey, I just thought I’d touch base with you.

I’m still alive down here. Can’t do every river in one go, you know. We gotta come up sometimes for air. The babes are sleeping and Fluffers is fascinated by the cows out here. She tried to ride a bull when I came up and she showed me all the Texas-shaped stuff she found. You know they make Texas-shaped tire irons? ‘Cause they do. Can’t say I don’t miss Seattle, especially after some of the stuff I saw.

First I had to drink from a river made of clotted blood and we went through a whole maze of pipes. And they was made of anything you could imagine, they was made of lead and gold and wood and glass and even hair and skin. It was so weird. The laws down there was that you had to offer a trade to any ghost you saw and you had to not hurt the pipes. Wasn’t too hard, but I know it’s only gonna get harder.

What really got to me though was the trauma phone. I know what you’re thinking. What’s a trauma phone, that sounds ridiculous. Well, there was an old land line in the middle of this place with numbers you could dial. We heard all sorts of dead folks through that phone. Usually nothing too good. I heard that horrible man again, and I thought I was free from that voice forever. That’s why we called it the trauma phone.

The second place was all made of pylons and it snowed asbestos. That’s probably not good for me. But we met the ghost the old leader of this gang had attached to him. It was a big old black bull. I guess that’s why they call it what they do. That river was kinda nice. It was warm and made of white chocolate. Only trouble was that it got me utterly shitfaced for a while there. There was another trauma phone down there. I heard my momma’s voice for the first time in twenty years. I hope she’s down here.

I hope nothing too stupid has happened while I’m away. I don’t know if this is going to work. Either I come back unchanged, I die down here, or I come home free. Even if I die down here, at least I died trying. If that happens, I just want you to know I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You’re basically the mom I never got to have. And I want to say, thanks. I hope no trouble comes your way for this.