Uplift

>Day METAL in Equestria.
>Walking up onto the stage, you survey the crowd in front of you while your bass player, Vinyl, sets up the equipment.
>They mill around the room, putting on airs and not paying you any mind for the most part.
>Being considered a human dignitary, it wasn't hard landing a gig at the Gala.
>Celestia will probably come to regret the decision.
>You drain the rest of your beer before putting on a warm smile, and speaking to the lot of stuck up Canterlot pones, assembled in front of you to suck on the social teat that is this shitty excuse for a party.
Evnin' you lot, I hope you're enjoying yourselves at this fine shindig.
>A few glance in your direction, but for the most part, you are ignored in favor of continuing some stupid high class conversation.
...
>Feeling your eye twitch, you whip the empty bottle in your hand randomly into the crowd, watching as it shatters satisfyingly against the head of a tall, slender mare that was soaking up the attention of several stallions alongside  Rarity.
OI, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
>Silence takes the crowd, and shocked gazes travel first from the unconscious mare on the floor, then up to you.
>Smiling once more, you calmly continue your monologue.

As I was saying, I just wanted to thank you all for coming on behalf of Princess Celestia. Let's give her a round of applause, folks, she made all this possible.
>Receiving nothing but stunned looks from the socialites, you feel your eye twitch once more while you reach back to pick up another beer bottle, smile still plastered on your face.
>Catching on without you having to make another example out of one of them, they slowly and nervously begin to stomp the ground in applause for the solar Princess that sits on a pedestal in the back of the room next to her sister.
>The Princess in question is gazing at you warmly, and from the corner of your eye, you see Vinyl stepping down to stand with the crowd (because this is metal, and the bass player is only there to carry your shit).
>Lyra starts up a drum solo using some freaky, disembodied magic hands before settling into a beat, as you pick up your guit-fiddle and face the crowd once more.
My name is Anon.
>"And I'm Lyra Heartstrings!"
>"And I'm Vinyl Scratch!"
Shut the fuck up Vinyl, you're our roadie. And together we are...!
>"WILD STALLIONS!"
Grab a drink, pones, it's time to get uplifted!
>And then you begin to play.

>Distortion fills the room, and you can see the beginnings of enlightenment dawn on the faces of those standing in the crowd, as you doth grind that axe in a manner most sick.
>Nah, they're really backing away slowly from the noise.
>The pones closest to the exits make a break for it, clearly having heard enough.
>Can't have that.
>Nodding to Pinks in the back, she zips around the room and barricades the doors while your guitar tapers off, and you begin to sing(yell loudly).
On one whole bottle uplifting, there is no telling what I'll do! Run head first into traffic, a mindset of annihilation!
>Vinyl and your Rainbro start throwing their bodies around to the rhythm of the returning guitar, slamming into nearby pones and causing those around them to gallop away in terror.
On hallucinogenic uplift, I can step out of my body! Religion is in myself, I'll split my head in two and see you twice!
>You see a crowd of pones gathered around the Princesses, appealing to them to stop this travesty.
No sense makes sense! Ya can't get bought without thought! No sense makes sense! Ya can't get bought with thought inside, your head now! UPLIFT! UPLIFTIIIIIING!
>Their pleas fall on deaf ears, as the diarchs, suddenly sporting stylized "WILD STALLIONS" t-shirts, begin swinging their heads in unison causing their ethereal manes to spin in sync.
>Huh, wasn't expecting that.

Give me alcohol extremities! Instead of proofless sun theology!
>A few of the rougher pones join Vinyl and AJ, forming a mosh front and center of the stage, and you see Rarity, sporting a spiked collar and black eyeshadow, do a dive into the panicked crowd off a balcony.
>Noone caught her.
Drunk up in a coma place! Pones dis-gusted, but a smile on my fucking face!
>Lying in wait like planned, Twilight begins setting off a flurry of pyrotechnic magic; bathing the room in purple light, and allowing you to see that knocked out mare from earlier, as well as the now unconscious Rarity, being dragged off to a dark corner by the group of stallions that were fawning over them minutes ago.
And I do anything that I want! And I get anything that I ask! And if this message bothers you, you know just kiss my fucking asshole! raaaaaghUPLIFTIIIIIIIING!!!
>Total panic ensuing now, the pones are scrambling around in chaos and breaking things while magical sparks rain from the ceiling.
UUUUUPLIIIIIFTIIIIIIING!
>Tables are being flipped over, and a few fights are breaking out.
UUUUUPLIIIIIFTIIIIIIING!
>The princesses are still headbanging away, oblivious to the destruction around them. Now it's a party.
UPLIFTING NOW!
>It was an uplifting kind of day.