Echoing Past 1: Confessing, Finally

<serlin> -- serpentLinguist [serlin] began trolling epinephrineElectrified [epiele] RIGHT NOW --
<serlin> Hey.
<epiele> Yes?
<epiele> Did you want something?
<serlin> [...]
<serlin> I wanted to apologize. For being difficult and sarcastic and holding things above your head.
<serlin> And for not responding when you ask me something directly.
<serlin> And being generally upsetting.
<epiele> [...oooooookay?]
<epiele> [What the hell, mostly. What the hell.]
<serlin> We really, really, /really/ got off on the wrong foot and I'd like the opportunity to try and make things up to you.
<epiele> What is there to make up?
<serlin> I... don't know. I've obviously done /something/ to wrong you, and if you're not at a point where you feel comfortable divulging that, then maybe I ought to pre-emptively state I'm willing to wait until you're ready to work things out.
<serlin> I'm just... I'm tired, and it's really stressful watching you get so worked up you wind up shouting, and I honestly don't /know/ how to keep from pushing those buttons when we interact, and you seem to prefer noninvolvement but there's some things that you need to know and I doubt you'll be happy with the bare-bones tellnothing TL;DR.
<epiele> Well, you won't need to worry about shouting, at least. I lost my voice.
<serlin> I'm sorry to hear that. I'd offer honey tea, but I'm sure Fret's got you well taken-care of.
<epiele> So
<epiele> you wanted to talk about
<epiele> things.
<epiele> Maybe we should outline what we're going to talk about before we actually get there.
<serlin> Well. Myra, Myra's fate, Dawn, what Dawn may be sensitive to, some worries I have about /serious/ glitches in the session...
<serlin> ...whatever's upset you, how I can make it up to you, how I can avoid doing it again.
<serlin> What our common relationship with Myra means now that she's not coming back.
<serlin> If it means anything.
<epiele> Someone I regret not doing more for died, two days ago. I get the feeling Sburb's right around the corner and I'm going to be forced to work through this.
<serlin> I'm... sorry. Lack of closure is painful.
<epiele> I am the king of people dying on me without actually saying goodbye. It is me.
<serlin> Well, I've got great news for you!
<serlin> If we make up before the session, and I die, you'll have broken the chain!
<epiele> [Facepalm.]
<epiele> How about let's just get on with this. Should we talk in person, and where can I meet you?
<serlin> It's easier to be candid in text.
<serlin> It's also easier to derail in text.
<serlin> So... in person, I guess.
<serlin> We can pass a notepad back and forth if it hurts to talk, and I make a /great/ cream tea.
<epiele> ...you know, passing a notepad back and forth is actually not a bad idea. I've mostly been pestering people.
<serlin> It's how Fret and I have been talking. Pen's more personal.
<epiele> That... seems nice, yeah.
<serlin> I hope you don't mind sparkly gold gel pen.
<serlin> If you want to use a neon green, I've got some good dark art paper we could abuse.
<epiele> So where are you, then?
<serlin> Floor 3, room 328.
<epiele> ...of?
<epiele> I don't know where you're staying.
<serlin> We're in the same building.
<serlin> Figured Fret would have said something.
<epiele> [...]
<epiele> Well, she didn't.
<serlin> Well, now you know.
<serlin> Do you like clotted cream?
<epiele> I'm willing to try anything twice.
<epiele> Because of course if I try once people are just going to say I encountered a fluke.
<serlin> It's terribly unhealthy and delicious. I made some, recently.
<epiele> We're Replayers, unhealthy isn't exactly much of a problem. I'll be down there in... whenever.
<serlin> All right.
<serlin> [>Cho: put on tea.]
<epiele> [You're up in... probably a good while longer than it would take to walk over.]
<epiele> [And to be quite honest you look like a mess.]
<serlin> [You open the door, and immediately offer a fuzzy throw from your sylladex.]
<serlin> ["Come on in."]
<epiele> [You wrap it around your shoulders and slouch in, with a wave.]
<serlin> [You practically usher him into the living room without a second thought. "Come in, sit down, make yourself at home. Black tea, decaf, or t-... /herbal/?"]
<epiele> ["Whatever's easiest."]
<serlin> ["...they're all easy?" You fluster a moment. "Black's traditional, though."]
<serlin> [You hand him a black notepad with a bright green gel pen, and bustle off to grab the scones and tea.]
<epiele> [This paper is nice paper.
<epiele> ]
<epiele> [You feel unaccountably guilty using it to write on at all. You compromise by starting at the top and writing as small and as neat as you can manage.]
<epiele> ["So, where to start?"]
<serlin> [You set down the tea, doctor yourself a cup, and nudge the rolling ottoman you set it on gently in his direction. Sip, regard the paper.]
<serlin> ["Well, usually it would be with small-talk. How you've been, what you've been up to..."]
<epiele> [You pour yourself a cup of tea, black, and start drinking without regard for any of the creams or sugars.]
<epiele> ["Being hassled by former Seer Networks. Trying to keep the moderation on Mindblogger's memorial page up even if I can't do anything on CF. The usual."]
<serlin> ["I know very little about the Seer Network. It was corrupt as it could get, and you leaked information and took it down. Myra would be proud of that, I'm certain."]
<epiele> ["I leaked all the information at once because I was terrified I'd be influenced /not/ to, and only later figured out that I should've at least taken the time to sort it out first."]
<epiele> ["Rather than be paranoid Kaya somehow knew the intention behind the server logs."]
<epiele> ["Or, you know. Releasing information that would endanger people, like the Azurite thing."]
<epiele> [You shrink back into the armchair.]
<serlin> ["Unforseen Consequences. Never fun."]
<serlin> ["I'm sorry."]
<epiele> ["It's a bit late for that."]
<serlin> [You lean over and take the paper back.]
<serlin> ["It is never too late for sympathy."]
<serlin> [You move to hand it over, and stop.]
<serlin> ["Unless you are apologizing to a corpse."]
<serlin> ["Then, I suppose, it is a little late."]
<epiele> [You chuckle, and then cough several times into a tissue.]
<serlin> [You frown, concernedly.]
<serlin> ["I can make you lemon tea with honey..."]
<serlin> ["Or just offer honey comb."]
<epiele> ["Tea, probably." You move on to blowing your nose.]
<serlin> [ And out comes the lemon tea you'd made, just in case, already honeyed. When people are sick... ]
<epiele> [...stay away from them? Wait, no, uh. You're just going to sip it, slowly.]
<epiele> ["So, your... relationship, with Myra, and Dawn. Somehow I feel like this is going to end up one big conspiracy-theory story."]
<serlin> ["Of a fashion."]
<epiele> ["So, where do you want to start?"]
<serlin> ["Frankly, I don't. It's difficult to talk about, and it's involved and personal, and I regret it profoundly, and it paints a bad picture of her."]
<epiele> ["Then should I leave?"]
<serlin> [You look pained.]
<serlin> ["I'm sorry."]
<epiele> ["For what?"]
<serlin> ["For giving the implication that you are unwelcome."]
<serlin> ["It's just something difficult to talk about. Painful. I have loved ones who don't know this, yet."]
<epiele> [You're starting to get a bad feeling about this.]
<epiele> ["Did Myra actually die?"]
<epiele> [You're not sure if you want the answer.]
<serlin> ["Not the body. And you won't find her Alpha in the bubbles."]
<epiele> ["...then what happened?"]
<serlin> ["She was convinced she was going to burn out and die Justly. She'd... had someone she mentored, who did. Sweet kid, just snapped and... well." A shrug.]
<serlin> ["She didn't want to do that to her family."]
<serlin> ["But suicide is /selfish/."]
<serlin> ["If she was going to die, she wanted to leave someone behind who wouldn't break under the weight of the game."]
<serlin> ["Someone with experience, but without the burden of a past."]
<epiele> [You listen, horrified.]
<serlin> ["But you can't just /do/ that."]
<serlin> ["If someone loses their memories, they generally lose /everything/. And if things come back, it's not pretty."]
<serlin> ["So. A Heart player, to open up the Memory Palace. Well-rounded, prodigious players to lend personality traits. She was Hope, it was easy enough to reject her [Self], or her body, depending on how you looked at it."]
<serlin> ["But memories come back, with shiny repairs. Or through resets."]
<serlin> ["The game... pretty much hates it when you try to use Heart to change things permanently."]
<serlin> ["It's a tool for understanding, and there... wasn't really anyone suited to removal."]
<serlin> ["Except, of course, for me."]
<serlin> ["Natively a Thief of Mind."]
<epiele> ["it was your first session, wasn't it"]
<epiele> ["and she put that -" Pause. "responsibility on you"]
<epiele> ["what happened next"]
<serlin> ["She was the one person I trusted most."]
<serlin> ["Relied on."]
<serlin> ["And she asked a favour of me."]
<serlin> ["It's... hard to turn someone down when they need something. Especially when they won't let you help them and... and when you're afraid to break their trust."]
<serlin> ["I almost waltzed through her memories to find what I needed, to get her the help I was pretty sure she could get."]
<serlin> ["But she... pointed something out to me."]
<serlin> ["And she'd... been working the entire session to play the mysterious, experienced woman. I'll... admit I was curious."]
<serlin> ["And... well. Everyone else was on-board."]
<serlin> ["And... I did what she wanted."]
<serlin> [You stare down at your tea.]
<epiele> ["you"]
<epiele> ["stole her mind?"]
<serlin> ["She asked me to take her memories."]
<epiele> ["so you're"]
<epiele> ["I'm sorry I can't do this."]
<epiele> [Plunk the paper and the cup down, stand up, and move to leave.]
<serlin> [>Cho: sit there.]
<serlin> ["...I'm sorry."]
<epiele> [The door closes behind him.]
<serlin> [You curl up your knees to your chest, and wrap your arms around them.]