msparp tubbyrose/john unfin casual/fluff/sex/diplomacy

ectoBiologist [EB] joined chat.
plump!tentacleTherapist [TT] joined chat.
EB: Hey rose!
TT: Good evening, John.
EB: How are you?
TT: A bit winded from festivities, but that's hardly a bad thing, given. Merry Christmas, by the way.
EB: Merry Christmas!
EB: How was dinner?
EB: I trust it was delicious?
TT: Utterly extravagant, as always. Even with only two people in the house, Mother insists on acting like some sort of stereotypical extended family jubilee would barge through the door the moment she thinks twice about committing to the sort of Christmas dinners typically reserved for familial reunions or corporate celebrations.
TT: Not that I should be complaining. At least we won't have to cook for a while.
EB: The day after christmas is always the most delicious.
EB: all that spare food.
EB: it's great!
TT: We're fortunate enough to have enough vacant space for weeks of leftovers, so I'd have to agree. Even if I could do without acknowledging ham for at least another twelve months.
EB: I'm sure the sausage will see a lot of use, however.
TT: Of course. The sausage is always best in reserve.
EB: Indeed.
EB: And all those turkey breasts...
EB: Dad insisted on cake for christmas dinner.
EB: it... wasn't great.
TT: You have my sympathies. It's hard enough being surrounded by ill-conceived excess for so long, even without most of it being sugar.
EB: Why do you think I cut out cake completely?
EB: I've been getting pretty fit, just so you know :)
TT: I believe there's a term for such events. An environment perfectly suited for one possibility, and the inhabitants steer towards the polar opposite? It's almost poetic.
EB: Hm, I think you're right
EB: I can't think of what it is though
EB: like a teenage rebel thing
EB: but y'know. to a positive outcome. as opposed to type two diabetes.
TT: True. And at least you won't have to worry about being crushed beneath a neverending cascade of inexplicably numerous baked goods, if you've already reached such a point of muscularity.
EB: indeed.
EB: though, dad is freakishly strong
EB: I saw him deadlift a safe once.
TT: Maybe it's genetic.
EB: perhaps.
EB: But I like the state i'm at now. it's nice and comfortable.
EB: and I'm ever so hot.
EB: as i'm sure you know.
TT: I'm positively swooning, Sir Egbert. Swooooooon.
EB: the fluid emenating from your loins cannot be contained
EB: it is a catastrophy.
EB: people are dying due to the flash flooding.
TT: You can't tell, but I just collapsed into a pile of cushions, one arm thrown over my brow and another reaching for some sort of plug.
TT: I'm sure you wouldn't be able to live with the fluid-mingled blood of millions on your hands.
EB: indeed.
EB: but yes.
EB: flooding related deaths aside, I'm doing well.
TT: Excellent. Just be careful not to let your guard down come New Year's. It's positively asking for an unrequited cake ambush.
EB: Perhaps i'll stay over your house.
TT: I wouldn't be complaining. Lord knows we could use a third mouth when it comes to the ridiculous meat-backlog, especially since Mother's locked herself in her observatory planning some sort of perennial event, and left her only daughter to fend off a neverending supply of ham and bird.
EB: Hm. would you like some help now?
EB: I can come over.
TT: That would be appreciated. I've taken to dual-wielding carving knives and mailing the offals to Jade.
EB: Alright. i'll be over in a little while.
TT: Use your newfound strength and masculinity to save me from this neverending culinary nightmare, Sir Johnathan.
EB: before i leave
EB: Ridiculous meat backlog is a good name for a band.
TT: ...It is, actually. I'll have to remember to never mention it to Dave.
EB: That you will.
EB: Ok! I'm leaving now!
EB: *timeskips or something*
EB: *he knocks on her door*
TT: :It takes a few moments before Rose's footsteps approach the door. When she opens it, she glances over John, giving the smallest of warm smiles and opening the door for him. She's decked out in her universally-tasteful (by her standards) black robe-gown, though it's a bit clingy:
TT: Ah, there you are. I was beginning to wonder if the forest had actually become that inpregnable.
EB: I did have some trouble, yeah.
EB: but, I got here eventually.
EB: You're looking great, as always.
EB: *he steps in*
TT: And you're quite the charmer, as always. :She smirks, closing the door behind him and striding ahead of him, towards the stairwell:
EB: Do, you've just been working away at the meat this whole time?
TT: More or less. I may have lied when I said I was utterly disgusted it already. Apparently, she's learned from last year and diversified her dishes. :She nods her head vaguely towards the locked observatory door:
EB: have you tried working the shaft at all?
EB: that tends to work.
EB: in meat related issues.
TT: :She paused, before huffing at her bangs and shooting him a glance: Of course. How silly of me.
EB: i knew my expertise would come in handy.
EB: Wait that came out wrong.
EB: Never mind.
EB: forget i said anything
TT: :By this point the two had reached the kitchen, seemingly-recently rearranged to accommodate several more refrigerators and meat lockers. Rose took point and opened the fridge, glancing around it's abnormally meaty contents and swaying slightly in her spot:
TT: I don't know, you seem to know an awful lot about meat handling procedures. Did you want a drink?
EB: *he gets a good look at her as they walk through the endless corridors. she was looking pretty good, the clingy robe showing off her curves pretty well*
EB: Well, before i say yes, there's one thing i want to ask.
EB: is the drink in question gravy?
TT: It could be, if you're feeling adventurous. :She glanced over her shoulder at him momentarily, habitually meeting his eyes for a brief moment:
EB: *he meets her gaze, blushing a little*
EB: Well, uh, I think not.
EB: Water will be fine.
TT: Strong and wise. Alright, then. :Rose bends forward into the fridge slightly, pushing aside several Tupperwear containers of unidentified sauces and dressings as she rooted around:
EB: Your mother really put 110% into this, huh?
TT: Five hundred and seventy percent, bare minimum.
EB: *he absentmindedly bumps her as she bends over. quite accidentally*
EB: hm. that's actually a more appropriate number.
TT: :She bounces a little from his bump, glancing up at him for the briefest of moments to make sure he hadn't stumbled, before turning back and finally digging out the pitcher of water. It was dropped on the table behind her, and she turned back to the fridge for another moment:
TT: You know her. If it's worth doing, it's worth over-over-over-overdoing.
EB: stick an extra 5 overs in there
EB: and maybe a mega-mecha-super
EB: that's probably the doings that she has done.
TT: Robotizing the super is a dangerous game, John. :Finally she comes back up, holding a somewhat emptied bottle of cola, bumping the fridge closed with her thick hip and fetching a pair of cups from the cupboard:
EB: *he sits at the table, watching her as she comes back, offering her the seat beside him*
TT: :She responds with a smile and settles down in the chair, placing the cups in front of her, nudging one toward John, and filling her own with the fizzier of the two drinks:
EB: *he fills the cup, and takes a sip, relaxing in the chair*
EB: *he sighs*
TT: Hm?
EB: your house feels as empty as always.
EB: Two people in this huuuge place.
EB: how do you manage?
TT: Hmm...I suppose I'm just more preferential of the solitude. It's a lot of space, but there's a certain serenity and privacy to it.
EB: Yeah. I bet.
EB: I get kinda lonely in my house though.
EB: I guess that's where we differ, huh?
TT: Indeed. At least you have your wonderful mannequins for company, though, right?
EB: Yeah. and all the warmth and cuddles they provide.
EB: *he shudders*
TT: I'm sure if you asked him politely, the mighty wizard Schalandore the Envisoning would accompany you home and give you a beardly respite from the omnipresent judgements of the harlequin court. :She smirks at him, glancing back towards the hallway at the enormous doll's foot barely visible around the corner:
EB: I would prefer a female of around my age range, thank you very much.
EB: not a wizard.
TT: Not even both? The lady wizards have the most luminescent facial hairs, you know. :Rose sips from her cola and raises her brow at him:
EB: without facial hairs, preferably.
EB: *he continues sipping his drink*
TT: Well, you're no fun. I'll have to try and find some sort of compromise, then, if I'm to continue playing unofficial matchmaker. :Siiip:
EB: Indeed.
EB: *he takes another drink*
TT: I'm sure you must have some sort of refined tastes, if mere sorcerers and warlocks aren't enough to entice your wiles.
EB: Yes. It's quite secular, as you can imagine.
TT: I've been told that narrow tastes only make the fruit sweeter once found. :Slurping down the last of her cola, she shrugs showingly and pours herself another cup:
EB: indeed.
EB: so, have you been doing anything else besides gorging yourself upon meat?
TT: In my defense, I only glut upon the worthwhile meats. And no, not particularly. Holidays always seem to be the quietest part of the year here.
EB: the worthwhile meats?
TT: Not every meat can be a winner, John. They have to be succulent, yet refined. Firm, yet easily partitioned. Juicy without being overbearing.
TT: :Rose wiggles her eyebrows at him a bit, mouth hidden behind her cup:
EB: succulent, firm and juicy. *he chuckles*
EB: sounds like my kind of scene.
TT: I'm sure you would be welcome in the rampant festivities of flesh, considering your established 'expertise'.
EB: i'm not gay, rose.
EB: no matter how many times you try to pair me with dave.
TT: The scandal. It was all Jade's doing, I confess.
EB: but, festivities of flesh does sound like fun.
EB: I believe you wholeheartedly. *siips*
TT: :Rose does a miserable job at savoring her second cup of cola, glances dejected at the empty cup, and brushes it aside: If that's an attempt to solicit an invitation, be my guest. Most of the food in the fridges should be defrosted, if you see anything you like.
EB: Oh, *he chuckles* I think i'm actually alright. I ate before I left.
EB: I just thought you could use some moral support.
TT: Well, it won't be going anywhere, so don't hesitate. :She stands up, drops her cup in the sink, and pops open one of the fridges, eventually retrieving a medium amount of glazed ham and carrying it to the microwave:
EB: You're gonna eat the whole thing?
TT: It's Christmas, John. Besides, I made sure to save enough for Mother, taking into account her typical portions of her own generous feasts. :Her eyes are rolled at the fridge, which most decisively does not contain additional ham, and she crosses her arms while she waits for her plateful of meat to warm:
EB: Well, that's quite a feat.
EB: I could not eat that much.
TT: I never said I was going to rush it. Besides, I'm more of a casual grazer, if I had to put it into terms. Pacing oneself is important.
EB: I see.
EB: You're like a cow.
EB: with meat.
EB: i get it.
TT: I think that would be cannibalism. Regardless, I suppose. :Retrieving her fully-warmed ham, she glances around the room, before turning back to John, one hand holding her plate and the other resting on her hip:
EB: ham is pork, isn't it?
TT: Ah, true.
EB: But yes.
TT: Also, if you'd like to relocate, feel free to suggest it. I've never found wooden chairs to be the most comfortable seats, and there's more than enough empty space to find a less rigid spot if you're finding it the same way.
EB: Well, sure. are there any softer seats?#
TT: There's the living room, the lounge, the bedroom...You could probably get away with sitting on the grand stairway, honestly. I'm not sure if I'd recommend it.
EB: Hm. a bed sounds nice.
EB: it was quite a long walk up here.
EB: *he takes a hold of the pitcher of water, bringing the cup with him*
TT: :Rose opens her mouth, seems to remember something, winces a bit, and slowly nods: Right. I'll bring the ham, don't worry. And don't think you aren't welcome to take any. :She turns on her heel and steps into the hall, towards the stairs:
EB: Alright. sounds good.
EB: *he follows her once more*
TT: :She makes her way to the bedroom, eventually reaching it with John in tow, before pausing in front of the door:
EB: *he cocks his head*
TT: ...I should probably mention, I completely neglected to consider actually cleaning up before you arrived. It shouldn't be too much of a problem, but.
EB: I'm sure it'll be fine. my room's a mess, too.
TT: Mmm. :She shrugs and opens the door, stepping inside. True to form, her room is a mess, with books, half-finished knitting projects, mostly unspecific desk clutter on most surfaces, and an abundance of both blankets and empty plates strewn across the room in various recently-cuddled-in positions:
EB: Well, uh.
EB: where would you like to sit?
EB: that beanbag looks good.
EB: *he points to a relatively uncluttered corner of the room*
TT: To be frank, anywhere I can. I'm more than comfortable on the floor, at least.
EB: *he walks over to the beanbag, sitting on it, inviting her over*
TT: :Nodding, Rose bends down to scoop up a blanket with her free hand, toddles to the semi-clear corner, and deposits it on the floor, moving to plop down onto it:
EB: aw, c'mon rose. sit next to me. *he scoots over, inviting a concave section of the beanbag*
TT: Well, if you insist.
EB: I do.
TT: :She shuffles over to John and turns, carefully depositing her wide bottom onto the chair besides him and, predictably, sinking into it. Her ham is left on her lap, and she shifts a bit to right herself:
EB: *by her mass flopping into the beanbag, he is somewhat tilted towards her, leaning on her a little*
EB: see? comfy.
TT: Oof. You have a point.
EB: *he smiles*
EB: *he shifts a little, leaning his back against his shoulder, rubbing up against her a little, his head resting atop her shoulder*
TT: :She smiles back at him after a moment, her slightly shorter figure putting them at roughly eye level with his leaning into her, and she takes a moment to retrieve her fork and pop a bit of ham into her mouth:
TT: You certainly seem comfy, at any rate.
EB: I certaintly am.
EB: you're awfully comfy.
EB: I might have to employ you as my personal pillow.
TT: I hope you're planning to provide adequate salary. Being a pillow is a rather demanded occupation in the current job market. :She smirks at him and continues nibbling her ham:
EB: Well, you certaintly have the assets and qualifications.
EB: i can pay you in baked goods.
EB: there is quite a surplus of those at the moment
EB: we could certaintly export those to lalondia.
TT: The kingdom of Egberton seems awfully eager to offload its prime export to such a small country. I'd almost suspect some sort of political machinations at play, if I didn't know the quality of the offerings.
EB: Well, you see, it's because i require the services of lalondia's fair maiden.
EB: That is the only reason.
EB: *he chuckles*
TT: Aha. Attempting to bribe the sovereign government, are we? You're luck that we have such a lenient justice system when it comes to under-the-table cake peddling. :Her brows wiggle a little at him as she hmms through her ham, slowly swallowing and shifting ever-so-slightly away from him to better accommodate his leaning on her shoulder.:
EB: WEll, we both know that cake is the secret currency of lalondia.
EB: it's simply economics that you haven't let them eat it yet.
TT: A gasp befalls the council. How could our state secrets be so easily spilled? Now we'll simply have to eat the cake, lest the evidence spread.
EB: Indeed.
EB: Let the gorging begin!
EB: *he raises an arm, making an official decree, before laughing and settling himself against her once more*
TT: :Rose chuckles at his theatrics, coming dangerously closer to grinning at him:
EB: *he leans back, closing his eyes*
EB: I've missed this, rose.
EB: It's been far too long.
TT: It really has, hasn't it? Unfortunately, the council seems to have voted unanimously to postpone the emergency decree, and any other immediate proceedings, due to limited vacancy in the palace. :She rests one hand on her stomach, the plate on her lap mostly emptied by her snacking, and she leaned back against him a bit more heavily:
EB: *he moves forward, shifting the plate onto the floor, leaning back, his head coming to rest in her lap*
EB: now, this is better.
TT: :An amused huff escapes her lips and she leans back further, folding her hands on her tummy and letting his lie his head on her lap, letting herself sink further into the beanbag: Mmmhm...
EB: I knew this beanbag was a good idea.
EB: look how comfy we both are.
EB: I think i'll have to give you a promotion
EB: you're such a good pillow.
TT: Can you even promote a maiden?
EB: I think i can promote a pillow.
TT: The Chancellor shant be pleased by the sudden occupational shift. :She reaches forward and brushes his hair a bit with one hand, enjoying the lazy comfort of a full belly and John's presence:
EB: *he smiles, nuzzling her thighs a bit* He will have to deal with it, I'm afraid.
EB: you're simply too good at your job.
TT: I would hope so. The training was rigorous.
EB: Very much so.
EB: You had to eat that whole ham.
EB: while I was leaning on you!
EB: simply ridiculous expectation.
TT: What is a leader who can't manage the simple task of dinner? :She smirks at him, licking her lips a bit from the leftover flavors:
EB: I was leaning on you at the time.
EB: That's the true difficulty.
TT: True, but hardships have to be endured, no matter how tasty they may be.
EB: Indeed.
EB: no matter who leans on you
EB: no matter how comfy you are
TT: For your credit, you're rather good at leaning.
EB: *he shifts a bit, nuzzling her again*
EB: I am, aren't I?
TT: :She gives a happy murmur in response to both the comment and the nuzzle, letting him sink ever-so-slightly into her plump thighs:
EB: *he sighs happily, his hands resting on his stomach*
TT: If I fall asleep here, I trust you're a responsible enough adult to treat your pillow with care unsupervised.
EB: Well, I might try to get a better pillow position, but yes. you should be fine.
TT: In that case, I suppose you have the keys to the kingdom for the night.
EB: why, thank you, ms. lalonde.
EB: though, before you give the the keys, you ought to give me the grand tour...
TT: Strong, wise, and a clever diplomat. You never cease to amaze me.
EB: indeed.
TT: The interstate relations ball is in your court, it'd seem. What demands would you bring to the negotiating table?
EB: I demand pillows.
EB: and perhaps a throw rug.
EB: *he waggles his eyebrows*
EB: Surely i cannot request anything of a kingdom i seldom know anything about. what would you recommend?
TT: Hmm. For the honors of Lalondia's finest mats and cushions, it seems only fair that you grant its ruling family the unblemished right to lay eyes upon the scenic landscapes of the mighty Egberton country.
TT: :Her brows wiggle right back, velvet eyes glinting teasingly:
EB: Well, That is a fair request. here they are.
EB: *he removes his shirt, his toned chest coming into view*
TT: :Smiling at him and letting her eyes run over his torso, she nods faux-sagely, before slowly shifting him off of her lap and heaving her chubby frame off of the beanbag chair: Unfortunately, you once again have the diplomatic high grounds, as opening the palace doors to the national rug-and-pillow treasury is an all-or-nothing affair.
EB: The council understands, and will comply with your request.
EB: *he stands, undoing his trousers, and sliding them off of him*
EB: Do the treasury request even the lower levels of egbertington?
TT: Your generosity is appreciated, good sire. :Smirking at him, her hands slide over her hips, towards her back, as she gently unclasps her one-piece black robe and lets it slide off of her in one smooth motion, leaving the plump lady fully exposed save for an equally-pitch pair of bottom-hugging panties and a low-cut bra:
EB: The council are pleased with the landscaping that lalondia have achieved...
EB: *he smirks*
TT: The feeling is mutual, I assure you. :Rather than return to the beanbag, she instead settles on the bed, crossing her arms coyly under her rather well-fed bust and over her round stomach and pointing him next to her with her violet eyes:
EB: *he walks over, sitting where she points*
TT: :In response, she pushes away from him, scooting back onto the bed proper and shifting one leg to his other side; leaning back onto her arms, she lies down slightly, putting him in a sitting position between her soft, bare thighs:
EB: Well...
EB: *he smirks
EB: diplomatic relations have taken an interesting turn...
EB: *he brings a hand up to her thighs, running a hand over them*
TT: We may have to initiate back-room bartering. :She licks her plump lips, gazing over his remarkably toned body and leaving him to run his hands over her pale, heavy figure:
EB: That may be the case...
EB: *he looks her up and down, a rosy tint coming to his cheeks, as his hands snake their way up her thighs, to her hips, her waist, and back again*
EB: The council does believe that there is a lot on the table at present, it may take a while to work through it all.
TT: There's plenty of time, Councillor. Such negotiations aren't to be simply rushed through. :Her eyes follow his movements, a lifetime of stoic reacting and nerves of steel allowing her to respond to his touch with a level of cool-headedness that would almost come off as disinterest, if he hadn't know her long enough to read even the smallest cues of bliss she gave:
EB: *he smiles slightly, continuing to gently run his fingers over her, knowing that she would appreciate the touch, moving to her inner thighs, teasing her*
TT: :A soft coo escapes her lips, and she rewards his teasing by easing off of her elbows and fully lying down; though she can't see him quite as well over her own bosom or middle, being fully relaxed makes it trivial to spread her plush legs and give him unfettered access to her soft, warm inner thighs:
EB: *he continues, the warm flesh enticing him, his fingers dancing over them, slowly stroking along the skin, ever so firmly pushing into the plushness*
TT: :Her murmurs slowly escalate to a moan, both from his touch and from his relentlessly, teasingly slow pace. By this point, her legs are fully spread, and she's almost shifting her weight further towards him, plump lip bit and eyes fluttering closed:
EB: *he slowly, painfully moves his fingertips over her crotch, gently pushing into her, before shifting his weight forward, moving on top of her, his head coming level with hers*
EB: Enjoying yourself, your majesty?
TT: :At the touch to her groin she gives a low keen, arcing her back a bit; all of his teasing succeeded at getting her wound up, but still not to the point that she can't glance up at him and smirk defiantly at his teasing:
TT: So far, your country's offerings have been more than satisfactory. Of course, the wealths of my own land is reserved for only the truly capable of men.
EB: *he presses into her frame slightly, returning her defiant smirk.* The council thanks you. however, they would like some tribute before full duty is paid.
TT: :She grunts a bit as his weight leans slightly onto her, his chiseled frame contrasting with her butterball of a torso and her chest smushing against his own torso warmly, and gives a content, yet theatrically exasperaed sigh, despite her round cheeks being ruddy and her breath starting to hitch:
TT: You have unfettered access to our fine lands already. What more tribute can we grant?
EB: our lands of egbertington are perhaps not as vast, but they are very beautiful. perhaps you can think of something.
TT: Hmph. Making the maiden do the work, now? :She smirks at him and raises her plump arms, fingers brushing against his bare sides, before she gently pulls him down atop her soft, pillowy body and brings their lips together. In all honestly, she's a rather novice kisser, but rather than worry about it she simply opts to initiate the sloppy makeouts and follow his reactions:
EB: *he smiles, kissing her gently, letting his crotch press into hers, as his hands snake their way down her body, brushing past her chest, gently teasing her stomach, before pressing into her panties once more*
TT: :Murmuring against his mouth, she drinks in his kiss, her lips tinged with the slightest hints of ham as she does her best to suppress the squirm brought on by his fingers and crotch against her own; her black panties, stretched across her groin from also being filled out by her generous bottom, were rather noticeably dampened, and only seemed to moisten further with his much-appreciated stimulating:
EB: (agh shit dude. I gotta go. right as the getting was good :c)
TT: (aww)