-- explodingLeprechaun [EL] began pestering penultimateBeverage [PB] at 5:29 --

EL: WAHOOHOO!
PB: AHHHH!!!!
EL: *KABOOM*
EL: *$PLAT*
PB: Who be ye?! D:<
EL: Shamrock, the exploding leprechaun.
PB: Oh okay
EL: Yes.
EL: i have just covered the immediate area in leprechaun guts
EL: this service has a $800 fee
PB: Does that include cleaning up?
EL: no
PB: Then I'll pass
EL: OR I COULD CALL OVER MY LEPRECHAUN BUDDIES
PB: I SIGNED NO CONTRACT!
EL: YES YOU DID
EL: IT IS
EL: OVER THERE
PB: That's not even my name on it!
EL: OH YEAH?
PB: YEAH
EL: OH YEAH?!
PB: YEAH!!
EL: OH YEAH??!!
PB: This is silly
EL: OH YEAH???!!!
EL: wait
EL: thats the wrong contract
PB: Told you so
EL: ok theres the right one over there
EL: see look right on the bottom it says ginger ale
EL: wait
EL: that is a receipt with ginger ale spilt on it
PB: Yes, it is
PB: Only contract I've signed is to become the greatest blues artist in the world
EL: ok i have like eighty pieces of paper here
EL: and i assure you that one of them is the contract
EL: ok so pay up
PB: No way, you've got the wrong person
PB: I'm not paying for YOUR mistakes!
EL: OH, LEPRECHAUN BUDDIES
PB: LET THEM COME! D:<
EL: *SUDDENLY, EXPLODING LEPRECHAUNS. THOUSANDS OF THEM.*
EL: ...
EL: ATTAAAAAAACK
PB: Wait!
PB: I have Whiskey!
EL: ...
EL: whiskey
PB: And I'm not afraid to use it!
EL: .....
EL: WE SHALL ATTACK DESPITE THIS
EL: THE BATTLE IS OURS
EL: CHARGE, MEN. CHARGE FOR ALL YOUR WORTH.
PB: I SHALL DRINK THE WHISKEY IN THE FRONT OF YOU
PB: ALL OF IT
EL: NOT ALL OF YOU SHALL SURVIVE, BUT THIS WILL BE A PROUD VICTORY FOR LEPRECHAUNS.
EL: SO CHARGE, FOR THE HOMELAND.
EL: AND EXPLODE.
PB: BOOM!
PB: Hmm wait
PB: I forgot I need to finish writing this pm
PB: Be right back
EL: ALRIGHT
PB: It'll take a while since it's two pm's. We ended up writing so long messages they wouldn't fit into one and they've only been growing.. <.<
EL: jegus just how WRITING do you even have to BE just to DO something like that
PB: I just happened :(
EL: you did?
PB: *It
EL: i did not think that people could be events
PB: I am the GRANDEST EVENT of all! It's me!
EL: no I am!
EL: i'm a god damn exploding leprechaun!
PB: And I'm the goddamn BATMAN!
PB: No wait, that was Bruce
EL: Bruce Banner.....
EL: *DRAMATIC ZOOM IN*
PB: Yes
EL: OR BRUCE WAYNE?
PB: This question is true
EL: ok
EL: well
EL: oh god
EL: my leprechaun friends
EL: whyyyyyy
PB: Only one you have to blame is yourself!
PB: You didn't even provide them above average dental!
EL: oh god
EL: im so sorry, fallen leprechauns
EL: what have i done
PB: You could collect their teeth and sell them to the toothfairy to raise a fund in their memory
EL: *falls to knees and raises hands, yelling. the camera cuts to a bird's eye view and zooms out towards the sky while it's raining, it is tragic*
EL: ok i will do that
EL: problem solved


-- aFourtytwo [AF] began pestering penultimateBeverage [PB] at 5:47 --

AF: YOU HAVE DEFEATED MY LEPRECHAUNS? IMPOSSIBLE!
AF: WE MUST KUNG FU FIGHT!
PB: WITH BANJOS
AF: okay
AF: banjo battle
PB: *starts riffing some bluegrass chords in the spirit of Van Halen*
AF: *DRAGONFORCE AND FREE BIRD EXCEPT WITH BANJOS*
PB: CURSES! *Mark Knopfler and Jeff Freaking Beck with BANJOS*
AF: *JIMI HINDRIX*
AF: *YNGWEI MALMSTEEN*
PB: *CHUCK BERRY AND BUDDY HOLLY*
AF: *IMAGINATION MOVERS*
PB: *DUCK WALK*
AF: *DANCE-A-LOT ROBOT DINOSAUR DANCE*
PB: I'm sorry, I don't think I can top robot dinosaurs. They're my one weakness! D:
AF: *ROBOT DINOSAUR SONG*
AF: *ROBOT DINOSAUR ANTHEM*
PB: No wait! I can counter it.. with the power of ELTON JOHN! *CROCODILE ROCK!!!*
AF: *SALAMANDER ROCK*
AF: *TURTLE ROCK*
PB: Okay, that's enough. I need to get back to writing this crazy thing
AF: I am the victor!
PB: It's you :(
AF: Now, please pay the leprechaun explosion fees.
PB: No
AF: yesss
PB: Oh fine fine <.<
PB: Here's $800 of monopoly money. It's all I have.
AF: yaaaaay
PB: Now go and buy those blue ones
AF: oh god i just spent it all on toys from disney world
AF: OH WELL
PB: D: