/mlp/ delivers

Ebola-chan vs Florida
-AaronAmethyst

>The small, white pony trotted through the long stretch of road Florida offered, rain smattering down and drenching her coat
>When that little white pony was told that her opponent would be an entire state, there was instant confusion
>She walked for miles, not seeing much but the occassional passing vehicle
>Nobody really noticed her presence, something that made her feel incredibly invisible
>Feeling a bit parched, the mare opened her mouth and let the rainwater fall in
>That satisfied, but it wouldn't be enough for the long haul
>Curving off to the side, the young, ill mare found a lake of wonderful tasting freshwater
>She lapped greedily, letting the wonderful h2o coast down her throat
>Her saliva meshed with the fresh water
>Bacteria swam in the open lake
>The clouds finally gave way, letting the mare brush horse hair from her eyes
>As she enjoyed the clear air, the water she just drank headed towards the reserve tank
>For the town of Ocala

>The mare sits on a sidewalk, looking into the window of a TV store
>A young woman talks frantically on the news, holding her chest and struggling to hold composure
>"Ladies and gentlemen of the great sunshine state, please do not evacuate your homes."
>She coughs, a little red escaping
>"Listen to the men in the white coats. What they tell us is for the greater good."
>The cameraman coughs loudly, distractingly
>"Ebola is not a problem in these United States. Ebola can be contained. Ebola can be beat."
>A cheesy text comes on screen, cutting sound and leaving the viewer with a soft, elevator tone
>The mare smiles and trots away
>Victory was at hoof

WINNER: Ebola-chan!

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Anonymous vs Nutella Crepe
-AaronAmethyst

>You stare down at the delicate breakfast item
>You're in a dark room, the only light over you and the plate
>You chuckle
"Seriously guys? A pancake?"
>No response
>Fucking French Prudes
>You bet they wanted you to call it a crepe
>You try to pick it up, but find it's much heavier than it appears
>You need to lift more
>Putting your back into it, you wrap your hands around the pastry and pull as hard as you can
>The crepe appears to act as bait
>The monster behind the delicious food stared blankly back at you
>It drooled syrup onto the floor
>It's golden eyes shone through the dark shadows
>All you smelled was hazelnut and powdered sugar as it breathed
>It lurches at you, tearing you apart
>Limb by limb, you're dismantled by the monster
>Your last thought?
>'Wish I hadn't died a virgin.'

WINNER: Nutella Crepe!

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Keksandra vs Pizza Pone
-Anonymous

>Michael Buffer held the microphone in his hand and stood in the center of the ring, clearing his throat
>"Iiiiiin this corner, we have the local delicacy, the cheesy Fabrizi, the doughy pony, weighing in at 420 pounds, give it up for the PIZZAAAAAAAA POOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
>Uproarious and loud, the audience hollered and cheered for Pizza Pone
>She sat in the corner, slurping up a strand of her cheesy tail.
>"Aaaaaaand in this corner, we have the meme supreme, the Cute Hugs Tan, the princess of Topkek, weighing in at 99 pounds, give it up for KEEEEEEEEEKSANDRAAAAAAAAAAA!"
>Crickets chirped. Two ponies clopped their hooves. "Yeah!" one stallion yelled.
>Keksandra giggled and blew a raspberry at the crowd.
>"Dum-dums..." the girl laughed.
>"And now...LLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
>The bell sounded as Buffer walked out of the ring. Pony and child walked towards the center, staring each other down.
>They got up into each other's faces with stern looks.
>Innocently, Keksandra booped Pizza Pone on the nose. "Boop!"
>A little bit of cheesy goop stuck to her finger. She licked it off.


>"BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP"
>Keksandra's hearty belch sent an eardrum-shattering shockwave through the arena, deafening everybody.
>Some strings of cheese and drops of spit showered into the crowd, covering the audience.
>Open-mouthed ponies looked at the fattened, chubby girl in shock, unable to understand what had just happened within the last ten seconds.
>A confused Michael Buffer stepped into the ring, straightened out his bowtie and lifted Keksandra's heavy arm.
>"The winner, by, uh, delectable takeout, KEEEEEEEEEKSAAAAAAAAANDRA!"

WINNER: Keksandra