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Kamen Rider Jam

Jan 10th, 2019
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  1. Now, Shall we begin the experiment?
  2. lord help me.
  3. >Be Not Anon.
  4. >Be Vinyl Scratch
  5. >one of, if not the best musician in all of canterlot high.
  6. >Yes digitally composed music counts
  7. >Anyone who thinks otherwise can fuck off.
  8. >It's a great day at high school and you currently have a free period
  9. >a free period in which you are currently escorting a new student aroud the
  10. >"So this is where home economic courses are held, it's really the only interesting thing on this wing of the building."
  11. >This person is one of probably 30 people outside your social circle to hear your voice
  12. >The rumors that you've been to lazy to debunk have led most of the school to think you're mute, but you're just don't talk to most people.
  13. >people kind of suck
  14. >"And this is the music department, I spend a lot of time here"
  15. >You're proceed to spend 5 minutes outside the music department telling this dude about all the stuff that Canterlot high has over every other school in regards to it's music curriculum.
  16. >You suddenly pause and ask the guy a very blunt question
  17. >"You're not evil are you?"
  18. >He leans back with a confused stare as his eyebrows seem to be attempting to climb off his head. "No...? I mean...last I checked I wasn't"
  19. >"oh good!" you respond "last set of new students we had were evil whores- you should consider a nice set of noise cancelling headphones-"
  20. >and before he can react you just drag him along to the next part of the school "and over here is the gymnasium, gym is bitch"
  21. >your phone vibrates in your pocket
  22. > [where r u]
  23. >Your girlfriend
  24. >You hold a finger up to the dude, the confused look back on his face as you tap out the message [showing new kid around school]
  25. >The lunchbell suddenly rings.
  26. >Well thats good. "Lets go eat", you grab the dude
  27. >You realize you never got The Dude
  28. >The writer doesn't know
  29. >You should probably just call him The Dude from here on out
  30. >Sounds cooler really.
  31.  
  32. >You manage to hustle him into the lunch room and now he's been sat at the table of your 'clique'
  33. >You're clique meaning just your girlfriend
  34. >because thats as far as your clique really goes
  35. >and most of your other friends lunch period is schedule different than yours
  36. >and thats just kind of ass, isn't it?
  37. >"So what did you say your name was?" Octavia asks from beside you as you shove pizza into your skull
  38. >"Actually it's Ja-"
  39. >"His name is The Dude now" interrupt now between bites of pepperoni and cheese
  40. >"His name can't be 'The Dude' Vinyl"
  41. >"Well it is now"
  42. >"Vinyl, you can't just rename people"
  43. "His name The Dude now" you proclaim
  44. >"You can't just rename people!"
  45. >" I can! privileges!" you do declare so forth
  46. >"Then why haven't you renamed me"
  47. >"I have, your name is Perfect"
  48. "Thats...sweet..but honey, no"
  49. >The Dude's head keeps swiveling back and forth in the exchange between you and your girlfriend "Uhhh, I mean Vinyl has a point, I'm probably never going to have a cooler name" "
  50. >"See. I win" You're snark is going to get you in trouble some day
  51. >Octavia changes the topic "Soo...Dude"
  52. >hearing her say the name is awkward and you unironically love it.
  53. >"How -new- are you?" she starts "School transfer from the other end of town? out of town?"
  54. >He concludes a sip of his milk "Well..actually I'm from out of town, from uh..Appleoosa actually"
  55. >"Oh, so you don't know about...the stuff?"
  56. >his silence is the only answer you need
  57. >"He doesn't know~" you say excitedly
  58. >"He doesn't know" Octavia echoes
  59. >From behind the both of you a student at a different table chimes "He doesn't know!"
  60. >You feel like a song might be about to start
  61. >but it doesn't
  62. >The building rattles as an explosion from across campus sends the entire cafeteria into a frenzied panic
  63. >You grin widely"Well now he'll know."
  64. >Octavia grabs Dude by the shirt sleeve "Go take care of the thing, I'm gonna get him off the property!"
  65. >You grin even wider "I'll take care of the thing!"
  66.  
  67.  
  68. >Everyone is trying to escape the school
  69. >You're going in deeper
  70. >You're going in dry.jpeg
  71. >You're weaving through the crowd, ducking your head down to avoid adults who might be trying to actually pay attention for crazy fucks like you running into danger
  72. >but if it's what you think it is, then you're...well you're still a crazy fuck
  73. >but the kind of crazy fuck thats right for the job
  74. >your backpack bounces with your running steps as you hear the roaring of the beast somewhere deepl in the school
  75. >You never thought they'd ever attack a school
  76. >Then again you doubt monsters actually think.
  77. >or at least that much
  78. > You manage to find yourself in the library
  79. >Ah. You knew the skylight was a horrible addition to the school
  80. >Thats where like, 80% of all action movie oriented bullshit gets into private buildings.
  81. >"Hear this dirge and despair!" The terrifying voice echoes from a monster that looks like a backwoods hillbilly fucked the living incarnation of a funeral march
  82. >You watch as over a dozen amplifier cables jut out from it's arms at you and the few straggling students that
  83. >You manage to kick the cables that try to hit you away
  84. >You can not say the same as the rest of the students.
  85. >The cables plug into their heads and you watch them all scream and convulse as the evil musical energy overloads their physical form
  86. >Transforming them into the worst kind of hollow shell of their former selves, blackened skin and white featureless masks and blades protruding from their arms as their attire now makes them look like jazz musicians.
  87. >You hate jazz.
  88. >You look at the monster and it's maniacle laughing as well as it's newly created henchman that were fellow students
  89. >"Y'know I didn't want to get into a fight today."
  90. >You open your backpack and pull out an aparatus that resembles a belt buckles sized turn table
  91.  
  92. >"of course I don't mind" You say pressing the device against your waist, a strap ejecting from the left side of it and magicking itself around your waist securing itself tight
  93. [DROP IT]
  94. >The voice of the driver echoes loudly as the air fills with electronic music
  95. >"Lets jam!" You strike the pose
  96. >The henchman attempt to attack you as projections of vinyl records spin out into the air hitting them and stunning them backward
  97. >And now you say the thing
  98. >"Henshin!"
  99. >You guitar swipe your hand down across the record inside the beat driver, a loud scratch echoing out into the air as the you watch the magic in the belt transform you
  100. >Your armor builds over your body and you strike the final pose
  101. >"I'll be the musician for the last concert you ever attend! Kamen Rider Jam!"
  102. >You're immediately punched in the face.
  103. >No respect at all.
  104. >You retaliate and punch back, following up with a second punch to the monsters chest as it staggers back.
  105. >it throws it's whip like cords at you as you duck and jump under each swipe, the electrical pulsing buzzing as they narrowly miss each time
  106. >The henchman attempt to dogpile you as you swing to one side, punching and kicking as they run past you in circles.
  107. >some of them connect, knocking you back and forth between each of them
  108. >most of them don't.
  109. >You kick one around as you wave your arms in a guitar motion, a scythe fashioned in resemblance to a musical note materialised in time for you to swipe it through the air, blades of energy flying through the air and striking several of them to the ground
  110. > "FINISH!" you bellow out the music crescendoes, while you spin the scythe and swing it again, a wide branching blade of energy blooms outward each henchman being knocked down, the excesss energy exploding through out the room.
  111. >A lot of shit is on fire.
  112. >you see all the henchmans bodies revery back into the students they once were, all of are unconcious
  113. >You see the monster, the coward, retreat through the broken skylight
  114.  
  115.  
  116. >Of course it runs.
  117. >They always run
  118. >"WHY DO THE MONSTERS ALWAYS RUN WHEN YOU KILL THE MOOKS?!"
  119. >Your screams are only answered by the sound of collapsing wood.
  120. >You hear the sounds of fire
  121. >You also hear fireman
  122. >Good.
  123. >You yell down the halls directing them to the survivors
  124. >You wait for them to arrive in the room before you jump up into the air and land on the edge of the whole in the roof
  125. >The super strengh and agility you get from this would have came in handy when you went through that "gymnast" phase back in elementary school
  126. >Oh well, time to fight a monster
  127. >You run across the ceiling in time to see the monster jump into the air, it's amplifier cables whirling and carrying it off like some sort of helicopter.
  128. >And why can they always fly?!
  129. >you press two fingers to your helmet "Call Octavia"
  130. >the voice recognition dials octavia while you push a button on your left gauntlet, a loud revving as a motorcycle revs across the parking lot up to the point where you drop down to the ground
  131. >The phone is picked up "Where the bloody hell are you?!"
  132. >"Saved some students, monsters escaped, making it's way downtown"
  133. >"Walking fast?" she cuts in
  134. >"Flying, but yeah" your smile is covered by your helmet as you mount the motorcyle and speed across the schools lawn and out onto the highway "What about you?"
  135. >"I'm heading to you know where, Dude is with me. Did you know his actual name is Hurdy Gurdy"
  136. >"Yeah, I'm glad I picked something better, I guess we're stuck with him now, take him to the place we'll explain shit to him later"
  137. >"Wait he's our friend no-" you hung up.
  138. >This was normal.
  139. >or well..not really
  140. >oh well! Time to fight a monster!
  141. [minutes later]
  142. >Monsters shouldn't be able to hide like they do
  143. >if they didn't hide it would sure make a masked rider look less awkward riding down town
  144. > you actually don't know onw which end of awesome or badass you look but-
  145. >THERE IT IS!
  146.  
  147. >You whip out the scythe again and gun the engine of your motorcycle down the road slashing right through the monster before jumping off and slashing down at it again
  148. >You did this before it could destroy the 4 small antique stores on the same street
  149. >You feel like you should tell the owners to just consolidate into one big antique store.
  150. >That is not relevant! You realise that as you connect with the monster.
  151. >Slashing at it with your scythe it starts bursting with energy as it stumbles around
  152. >it is already almost dead.
  153. >excellent
  154. >one punch, two punch, three, four, five, each punch radiates with musical energy before you spin and kick it down the street into the side of a truck advertising some sort of soft drink.
  155. >You run straight after and leap into the air.
  156. >redirecting your weight and pointing your foot right at it's deformed face
  157. >The impact goes off like a military grade bomp was dropped on it as you stand above it looking victorious.
  158. >it's body disentegrates revealing the human under neath, the red vinyl record rolling across the ground as you walk along behind it, picking it before it can fall over on the side.
  159. >another for the collection.
  160. >You call octavia as your riding off on your cycle before the cops arrive "Killed the monster, took it's Siren Record"
  161. >"Oh good!" you hear back in response
  162. >"How's dude?"
  163. >"confused and waiting on an explanation"
  164. >Your pull down to the side of the road and transform back into your normal...you-ness?
  165. >Demorph feels copyrighted and Unhenshin sounds dumb.
  166. >but you check to make sure no one can see you as you change back, your motorcyle shrinking down into the motocross bike it usually is.
  167. >This wasn't an unusual day...
  168. >well you've been doing this thing for a month
  169. >so...usual now?
  170. >eh, you'll worry about this later.
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