Pokemon Trainer Anon in Equestria

I present... POKEMON TRAINER ANON IN EQUESTRIA: GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!

>You hear about new human transporter technology based on the Pokemon Box system
>You get a friend that knows a friend to get you into one of the testing runs
"This. Is gonna be. AWESOME!"

--MEANWHILE, somewhere in Equestria...--

>"Oh, this looks promising... This could turn out to be... Wonderfully CHAOTIC!"

--Back to our 'hero'...--

>Two days later, you're scheduled to try out the transporter.
>"Okay, everything looks good. Just step onto the platform."
>You do so.

"You sure this is safe?"
>"Absolutely."

>They turn on the machine, and the guardrails go down around the transporter platform
>But suddenly, the machine starts sparking out of control!
"You said this was safe!"
>"It IS safe! I don't know what's gooooiiiiiiiii͚̙͓̹̽i͙̮̳ͯ̆ï̙̣͌͛̓͝ͅi̋ͫ̔͂ͨ̆n̩̻̽ͦn͚̖̣ͧ͐ͬ͘n̫̹͖̻̯̜̽ṉ̹̪̯ͣ͌ͣ͆n̘̼̟̳-̠͈͎̳̝͉̑͞-̤̩̓ͩ́-͉ͧ̿̆̐͊ͯ


*̮̥̄̃̂ͬ̀̔̅ͯB̴̥̈́̄̄͐̍̅͝͠ͅẔ̡̯͇̞̜̰̔ͯ̀ͥ̅͝Z̸̥̰̜̘̖͉̲͗̽Z̯̬͈̦͇̹̗ͩ̓̒̒ͣ͑̀ͅZ̄҉͉͇̘̬̀ͅẒ̮̩͈̫̭͔̌͋̓ͨ͂̅͢ͅZ͕͔͕̖̯̰̒̄̏ͪ͜͞Z͔̠͔̻͚̣͔̦̿͐͆̋̈ͩ͌Z̦̗͔͗ͩ̈́͌͌̀͞ͅK̨͉̻̯̞͔̩̏ͪͮ̕͝ͅK̡̭͓͍̰̜̻̦̞̗͊͠K̶̪̺̣̩͂̽͒͡K̼̖̠̰̜̤̺̘̔̈́̋̇̉ͨ̉̄ͤ͘R͔̣̬̲̥̺̱̃͑ͦ̔̆̋ͦ̃͢R͔͚̮͎͉͂̒̍̀̚͘͝R̳̐͌̅̓̒̌ͦ̀R̯͎͖̼̓T̛̤̤̼̹͙̳͛̓*̴͈͙ͫͩ̏͐́̍


"OH GOD MY EVERYTHING IS IN P͉̬̤̺̃̽ͣ͑̿A̳͋̉͑A̙͎̞̹ͣ͜Ạ̪̺̣̠̻͊ͦ͌̅Aͭ͂̃̄͒͊ͥ͏̲̘͉̫͚̦ͅA̢̠̜̠̪̱̙̭ͩ̓̐I̗̦͙̔̍͐̌̑I̵ͮ͆̓I̧͕̱̳͙̥̤Į̱͖ͩͫ͋Ń̫̫͓̙̥͎̾ͬ͘"

>The transporter has utterly fucked up.
>You're feeling every fiber of your existence being torn apart by the raw energy.
>Is this what the Box system feels like to Pokemon?
>You have no time to think about it before you end up in the middle of a clearing full of... Pokemon? Definitely not any kind you've seen before...
>Well... Whatever. Time to go looking for more Pokemon, you guess.
>You go into a nearby forest. If there are wild Pokemon to be found, they'll be in there.
>Well, definitely some odd plants, but no Pokemon yet...
>Wait, what was that? You could swear that bush just moved.
>Jimmies: rustled
>Bush: rustled some more
>You go over and check the bush, only to find a... Thing, with one half like a yellow luxray and the other half like a shiny Skorupi.

"Ah HAH! A Pokemon! Gabite, go!"

"Gabite! DRAGON CLAW!"
>Gabite dashes over towards the...  creature, and slashes at it.
>This only makes it pissed. It starts biting at your Gabite.
"SAND TOMB!"
>Suddenly, sandstorm up in this bitch.
"TAKE DOWN!"
>Gabite charges the... the thing. It's down!

"POKEBALL! GO!"

>Anon used the Great Ball!
>It wobbles a few times...
>Gotcha!
>Manticore was caught!
>Manticore's data was added to the Pokedex!

[It's a creature comprised of the upper body of a lion and the lower body of a scorpion. Its name means 'Man Eater.']

>You have no idea what the fuck a lion or a scorpion are, but you don't give two fucks.

--MEANWHILE--

>"Heh... My little project seems to be going along perfectly..."

--BACK TO THE EVERFREE FOREST--

>You're going further and further into the forest, until you find a hut of some sort.
"I don't remember there being a shack in the Viridian Forest... Eh, whatever."
>You enter the shack.
>You see a... That's a Zebstrika! You're sure of it!
"Holy shit, a Zebstrika! That's a rare pokemon in the Kanto region!"
>"I know not of these 'pokeymon' you speak, but perhaps you could sit and explain, if it won't take a wee-
"PONYTA! GO!"
>yfw your ponyta starts trying to nail the Zebstrika

>20 minutes later...

>Your Ponyta has been chasing the Zebstrika this entire time, with its dick out.
"Fuck this."
>Anon used the Great Ball!
>It wobbles a few times...
>Gotcha!
>Zebstrika was caught!
>Zebstrika's data was added to the Pokedex!

[This Zebstrika seems most unusual compared to those on record... You should report back to Professor Oak]

"I wonder who lives in this place...?"
"Eh, who cares."
>None fucks were gived that day.

>You decide you've done enough in the forest for now. You head back the way you came.
After getting out of the forest, you head in a random direction.
>You find a town, full of...
>Pokemon...?
>SO MANY SHINY POKEMON
>WINGED POKEMON
>HORNY... poke...okay that sounds wrong.
>REGARDLESS
>JIMMIES RUSTLED.
>You start madly throwing pokeballs
>The Pokemon start running and screaming
>You manage to catch a few
[OVER 6 POKEMON DETECTED. ATTEMPTING TO TRANSFER TO BOX]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[TRANSFER FAILED. LIMIT TEMPORARILY LIFTED.]
>A purple pokemon with blue a blue mane with a pink and purple stripe begins.. Talking?
>"Girls! We have to get the elements of harmony!'
>...The what now?
>Fuck it.
"PONYTA! GO!"
>yfw your ponyta still is trying to rape the other pokemon
"Oh for the love of... GABITE! IVYSAUR! ELECTABUZZ! GO!"

--MEANWHILE--

>"Oh, this is rich... This is just so DELIGHTFULLY, WONDERFULLY rich!"
>Discord pulls out a matchbox adn a cigar. He proceeds to light the matchbox with the cigar, and smoke it with his nose

--BACK TO PONYVILLE--

>Houses are burning. Market stalls are wrecked. The streets are destroyed.
>Your Pokemon are running rampant.
>Ponyta especially, who is holding down and has mounted a white, purple-maned pokemon.
>"TAKE IT, BITCH"
>The fuck?
>Did your Ponyta just fucking SPEAK?!
>"DEATH! DESTRUCTION! OTHER D WORDS!"
>...Since when could Gabite...
>...
>The fuck?
"GABITE! DRAGON CLAW!"
>"FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT"
>Suddenly, your Gabite is fucking SPIDERMAN and it starts SPINNING

--MEANWHILE--

>"Well come on who didn't expect that?"
>Discord laughs

>Electabuzz is fucking eating EVERYTHING
"FUCK THIS. GIRAFARIG! GO!"
>Every single one of the pokemon stop dead and stare at your Girafarig
>"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT"
>You take the opening and start chucking pokeballs
>You caught a few more
>"Okay... Enough is enough!"
>The purple one from before starts doing... Something, and her... horn... starts glowing.
>A pikachu appears
>"SUP NIGGAS"
>Okay, what the fuck.
>"...Well THAT wasn't supposed to happen."

>Pikachu, Electabuzz, Gabite, and Ivysaur are wrecking Ponyville
>You're chucking pokeballs like nobody fucking knows
>"EEENOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"
>The purple one suddenly has her mane burst into FLAMES
>Ponyta takes notice
>"...Mom?"
>"...No?"
>"Eh, who gives a fuck."
>Ponyta goes back to raping random ponies.

--MEANWHILE--

>"Okay, this is getting boring. Too routine. This game's gotten old."

--Back to Ponyville--

>"I feel funny..."
>Your Ponyta evolves into a Rapidash. Cue super-speed rape.
>Suddenly, it starts raining
>Raining kool aid and tree sap.
"...The fuck?"
>All the pokemon who were running, flying, or whatever, began to slow down
>You start chucking Pokeballs like mad.

--MEANWHILE--

>"What is going on down there? Someone, send a detachment to Ponyville immediately!"
>"Has anyone seen the Discord statue?"
>A soldier shakes his head, now notably worried
>"...Oh no. Okay, scratch the detachment, I'm going there personally."

--Back to Ponyville--

>You manage to catch all of them...
>A winged, horned white Pokemon appears in a flash of light.
>"DISCORD!"
"...Who?"
>"..."
>You chuck a pokeball at the creature. It merely bounces off.
"EVERYONE! ATTACK THE... THING?"
>It begins shooting beams from its horn...at YOU.
>You have a thought.
>You whip out a mirror and start deflecting the beams.
>Your pokemon are slowly whittling away at the... the thing's strength, until...
>You throw a pokeball
>IT WORKS!

--MEANWHILE--

>"...Well, I didn't expect that."

--Back to Ponyville--

>Suddenly, a... Really fucked up looking thing appears
>"Greetings, Anon."
"...What the fuck are you."
>"A friend. I brought you here. And I want to congratulate you for your work."
"...So what, am I a pokemon master now?"
>"No. You win this certificate."
"...Fuck you."
>You chuck a pokeball.
>"If you must."
>It works.
>But then... Something starts to feel wrong.
>The world begins to distort and bend.
>Everything starts to look... Wrong.

>Like, REALLY wrong.

>Like

>Unbelievably wrong.

>The very fabric of reality is tearing itself apart.

>Gotcha!


>̘͎̦̗̰̦ͥ̌̇̿͊̈́M̯̽̃͋ͣ̓̽ͩ̔̓͡͡I͚͓̯̒̽S̱̯͂̀Ŝ̰̺̖̊̈́̕͞I͉͈ͥ̄͊̂ͤ̊̽̓̀̚N̖̗̗̯͇͎͊̊̃ͣ̈́͘͜Ğ͎͓̻̙ͭ̂̒ͯ̃ͦ̚͠͠ͅͅN̙̮̈́͑͐̔ͧO͕͑ͨ̓ͤ͡.̻̺̼͔͕͍̑̓̒ͣ̈́ ͇̭̥̗̥͓ͦ͊̍̋̓ͭͪ́w̜̥̝̝̰̗̤͂̇̾̅̃̔̿ă͇̖̭̻̳͉̪̦ͧͨ͌ͫ̒ͫs̵̰̥͔̻̟̗̬̪̝̀͝͝ ̛̜̺̖̓ͦͯͫ͌ͧ͛̈̋c̮͍̯ͩ́ͪ͢a͉͎̻̳̓͋͛͋̅̋̍ǔ̩̖̰ͭ̂̌͆ͨͪ̚g̼̝̦̪͕̼͇͎̋̏ͭ͂̔̃ͦ͗͢h͚͎̬̝͓͒̐͑͊ͬ͋̍͢t̛͓̬͓͉̤̺͉͇̦̏ͦ̐̿ͦͣ͘!̲̺̖͇͉͓̤̄́͛͘͡͝





>Fuck.