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- >Shivering in the cold, nightly winter air, you look at the 'trophy' in your hand
- >A used condom. The product of your latest lusty Lyra rutting.
- >You stare at it, mixed feelings of triumph and disgust settling in your gut.
- >Lyra insisted on the condom. Probably for the best. You shudder at the thought of little green centaur babies wrecking the town.
- >Quickly you dump the slippery sock of manpudding in a garbage can and wipe your hands on your boxers.
- >Out of sight, out of mind.
- >Turning around to flee back to the warmth of your house, you suddenly hear a high-pitched voice yelling from the street
- >"HEY NONNY!"
- >Pinkie Pie runs up to your house and leans over your fence, grinning her typical huge Pinkie smile.
- >Oh shit, not this. That stupid pink horse won't ever leave you alone.
- "Hey there, Pinkie. Make it quick please, I'm freezing my balls off in this cold."
- >"Just wooondering, Nonny. Are you having a party in there?! I heard you and some other pony shouting really loud. Are you playing a game? CAN I JOIN?!"
- >She starts bouncing up and down with sheer excitement.
- "ehhh, not today, Pinkie. I was just, uhh... talking... I was just talking to a friend, and the conversation got a bit out of hand. That's all. No party. Sorry!"
- >"Aww..."
- >Pinkie sits down on the pavement and frowns with dissapointment.
- "There have to be other ponies you can party with tonight, Pinkie. I'm sorry, I'm going back inside now, it's too cold out here."
- >"But I want to party with you, Nonny...", you vaguely hear her mumble as you retreat back inside and close the frontdoor.
- >"Who was that?", Lyra peeks her head past your bedroom door.
- "Ohh, just Pinkie Pie", you answer.
- "Apparently she heard us. We really need to keep it down. She almost found out."
- >Lyra gives you a long, serious look.
- >"Why don't you just tell them, Anon? You can't expect to keep this... relationship... a secret forever."
- "I have no choice, Lyra. You know that. 'Confessing' my 'homosexuality' to Fluttershy and the town was the only way to get her to stop stalking and hitting on me."
- "Do you have any idea of the shitstorm that would ensue if everyone found out I was straight afterall, and have been lying to their faces all this time?"
- "Not only would Fluttershy probably start stalking me again, her whole clique of special harmony friends would be royally pissed off. I'd probably get chased out of town."
- >You let out a long sigh.
- "So please bear with me, Lyra. I'm sorry, but there's just no other way."
- >"It's okay, Anon. We'll do it your way.", Lyra smiles.
- >Her smile turns into that hot Lusty grin of hers, as she throws you a seductive wink.
- >"So why don't you get that Human Stamina back in here, and we'll start practising on 'keeping it down'?"
- >Your mind goes blank as your feet almost automatically carry you back in your bedroom.
- >Party time.
- >You wake up to a bright beam of sunlight shining in your face and the twittering of little birds outside your window.
- >Another perfect day in Equestria, as usual.
- >You glance sideways to the empty spot in bed next to you. Lyra had left your house early. Again, as usual.
- >She was a morning person. Pony. Pony-person. Whatever. You weren't. She had the decency to let you sleep as she went to do whatever it is that ponies do in the morning.
- >You stretch your arms and yawn as you roll over, when a sudden knocking on the door shocks you wide awake.
- >It's probably Lyra. Did she leave something at your house?
- >You jump out of bed, quickly slip on a pair of pants and a shirt, as the knocking intensifies and grows more impatient.
- "Jeah, I'm coming, calm down!"
- >You open the door and are almost pushed over by two ponies.
- >Fucking Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.
- "Jeah wow, just let yourselves in. How rude."
- >Fluttershy turns around and gives you a deathstare.
- >"Anonymous, d-don't you even DARE to act like you're being wronged. Not after what you did!"
- >Pinkie Pie also looks furious.
- >Holy shit, she found out. They found out. They totally found out about your you and Lyra! But how?!
- "Whoa, whoa! Calm down."
- >You back up into your living room. You need to figure out a way to salvage this.
- "Lets not say or do things we're going to regret later!"
- >"A bit late for that, isn't it, Nonny. Hmmm?"
- >Ohh man, a mad Pinkie Pie. This day is turning out to not be so perfect after all.
- >Fluttershy reaches back into her saddlebag with her head and grabs something. She turns back to you and...
- >Your fucking used condom dangles in front of you. Oh lord. You might not want to hold that in your mouth, girl.
- >She gently puts it on the ground as her look changes from pure anger to a mixture of sadness and disappointment.
- >It's pointless. It's all over. They found evidence that you've been fucking ponies around town.
- >Your only option now is to come clean and hope these ponies will show mercy.
- "I... I guess I owe you an explanation, Fluttershy..."
- >"Yes you do, Anonymous. H-how could you throw these poor tadpoles out in the trash? How could you!?"
- > what
- "what"
- >"What, what?!", Pinkie Pie interjects.
- >"Nonny, if you can't take care of your pets, you can't just throw them away. That's animal cruelty, and that's bad!"
- >Holy shit, how dense can these ponies be?!
- >"Anonymous, I know we haven't been best friends, but you KNOW I'm the animal expert in town!"
- >"Thank Celestia Pinkie Pie found these poor tadpoles in your garbage, they could've died!"
- >Fluttershy picks up the used condom again and puts it back in her saddlebag. She sighs, turns around and prepares to leave.
- >"I already have way too much pets as is, but I'm sure I can take care of a batch of tadpoles."
- >Oh shit, Fluttershy taking care of your sperm? That sounds horrible.
- >Even if she is dense as fuck, one of her wiser friends would eventually come over and ask her why the fuck she is tending to a bowl of watered down semen.
- "Wait!"
- "Wait, Fluttershy, I think I have a better idea!"
- >You've got to get rid of that condom.
- "We should bring those tadpoles back to where I caught them, to reunite them with their families."
- >Pinkie Pie gasps.
- >"Froggy bottom bogg?! That's a super idea, Nonny!"
- >Fluttershy takes a moment to consider your proposal.
- >"Set them loose again? Oh dear."
- >"Yeah, Fluttershy, imagine how happy those mom and dad frogs will be to see their babies again!"
- "Pinkie is right, Fluttershy. We must bring these tadpoles back to where they came from."
- >Fluttershy sighs and nods.
- >"Ohh. Very well then. We will bring these tadpoles back to Froggy Bottom Bogg."
- >Here you stand, at the edge of a swamp with two of the dumbest ponies from Ponyville standing next to you
- >Ready to release your 'tadpoles' back into the wild.
- >You'd laugh if it wasn't so pathetic, and if these ponies weren't sniffling and quietly sobbing as if they were attending a funeral.
- >Fluttershy takes the condom out of her saddlebag and gently drops it into the murky bog. It sinks to the bottom and a white blotch of semen drifts up to the surface.
- >She now wraps her arms around your waist and rests her head on your stomach.
- >"I know it must be hard for you to see these tadpoles go, Anonymous. B-But it's for the best."
- >"Next year, we'll come back here and there will be lots of new, strong frogs!"
- >Her voice begins breaking up near the end of the sentence and she buries her face in your shirt.
- >You quickly perform a couple of fake sobs and pretend to wipe away some tears.
- >The semen blotch begins to expand and pale as it dilutes in the murky water, until you can't make it out anymore.
- >Pinkie Pie begins playing a tune on a tuba (where the fuck did she get that thing?) that bears an uncanny resemblance to Andrea Bocelli's 'Time to say goodbye'.
- >Fluttershy begins sobbing loudly into your shirt, turning it into a mess.
- >These fucking ponies, man.
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