Young Snow White - No "raven hair", not pale, freckeled, literally goes against the opening scene


WOW #EPIC FORESHADOWING WITH THAT APPLE

Seems like it's meant to be in 3D

Charlieze Thereon seems to be a good choice early in the movie. Def proven her chops, very measured in speech.

Child actors suck, without exception.

The music fits, but BLLLLLAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHP every fucking second is irritation to the max.

Rotting apple and destruction of nature, cool cool.

Why are they Christians?

Holy moly these accents are hard to listen to.

WOAH THE TALONS SO EVIL, SHE'S EATING RAW ANIMAL HEARTS OR SOMETHING.

What the fuck is that wax bath?

Little SW's eyes were green, KStew's are too, so that's nice at least.

Ravena's relationship with her brother is so fucking weird. Makeup did a bangup job making her look older in a few scenes though.

The "sucking the youth" mechanic seems hamfisted in, and could've been literally anything else, but they did that because it's grimdark.

The brother is visually perfect, exactly what I would imagine the brother of an evil witch to look like.

tfw no kstew gf

What the fuck is with that horse just showing up out of nowhere. Fucking crows leading her and shit.

Landscapes were absolutely perfect. The CGI during the chase scenes looked off.

Running through the village, uneccesary but I guess showing how bad it's all gotten was cool or whatever.

Holy shit that horse better be a fucking chekov's gun, that was abysmal writing otherwise. "She finds a horse runs and then it dies"

Nice she's trippin balls on shrooms.

GIVE US THE RING

A lot of grimdark imagery and that's all I'm seeing.

Color palatte is nice.

Holy moly Charlize Theron is 10/10, best part of this movie by a longshot.

WOW CHRIS HEMSWORTH THE DASHING ROGUE. Fits the character archetype, attractive Nordic Aryan, good stuff.

God the accents, hilarious.

Boy o boy I sure do love fight scenes with shaky cam, definitely doesn't come off looking cheap and poorly made.

The shrooms are always cool to watch though.

I guess shakycam is a permanent fixture.

Chris Hemsworth and KStew have 0 chemistry. Even in the scene when they're supposed to have sexy eyes because of the situation, when he first shows her the knife and how to use, they don't come off as having any chemistry.

Wow, the troll design was very cool. Relatively unique, fit the lore nicely, holy shit that fit so well. Best part of the movie. Only can hope that the other monster designs are nice.

Realization of KStew's ability to control/influence monsters. Scene played out nicely.

Dialogue doesn't sound natural, sounds rehearsed. (Yes I know that it is, but compare it to good movies)

KStew is still a damsel.

>she's safer here with you
womp womp

Getting older Charlize Theron is absolutely amazing in terms of character design.

I get that they're trying to make her a relatable villian, but it's like changing colors more so than adding a dimension.

Dwarves look like short people, not like dwarves.

Really like the images of them heading into the dwarves' home. The nature being surreal was very nice.

Wow weird when did kstew and chris hemsworth find time to wash up.

I barely cared about KStew or Chris Hemsworth, I literally don't care at all about the dwarves. They are irrelevant as secondary characters, and are fisted in.

Bird/fae CGI was pretty lame, I didn't like it at all.

They're trying to do too much. Now there's no story being driven, and she's just following the faries. Obviously there's an endpoint which is going to drive the story, but spending 10 minutes showing the dwarves and chris hemsworth following her as she follows the faries is lame.

Maybe I'm just a jaded asshole, but that "It's him." made me want to kill myself.

Not very vibrant in the nature. At first I liked it, because I liked the muted palatte, but now it's kind of just boring and doesn't lend itself to the scene very much.

I LIKE THAT KSTEW'S NAILS WERE FUCKING NASTY.

God damn KStew is pretty.

HOLY SHIT THAT SCENE INTERUPTION WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. LITERALLY PAUSED THE FUCKIN MOVIE BECAUSE OF HOW FUCKING COOL THAT WAS.

Please no more dwarf banter, it's fucking boring as shit and they aren't funny at all.

Fight scene with the dwarves and the brown guy were lacking any luster.

Shakycam

This script is lame as shit, nothing about any of these characters is any bit entertaining, the writing is sub par in that regard. Scene progression is a bit slower than I would like for a popcorn flick.

It seems like they're trying to make a serious movie, but it's coming off poorly made.

L I T E R A L L Y don't care about william.

Okay, I like that the queen preyed on kstew's weakness, that was cleanly done, exactly what was expected. Smart characters doing smart things.

Kstew still can't do the whole "i'm having convulsions" thing.

Chris Hemsworth's monologue is weaksauce. I just don't have enough invested in the character to give a shit about his emotions.

LMAO THIS SIR WILLIAM WALLACE SHIT FUCKING HAHAHA LMAO, OH SHIT KSTEW SHOULD NOT DO ANYTHING BESIDES ROMCOMS AND MOVIES WHERE SHE'S A YOUNG ADULT DOING YOUNG ADULT THINGS

still tfw when no kstew gf

Why does KStew not have a helmet, that's literally the only thing that needed to be covered to hide her identity. Keep her around if you have to, but seriously? I get that she's top billing, but come on, it would make it infinitely easier for both the stunt double and for nitpicky cocksuckers like myself.

What happened to the glass soldiers?

fuckin legolas

Plot armor is so disgusting jesus.

O shit there they are, the glass soldiers, nice.

If the rest of the movie was any good, it would be interesting that KStew's character is the one fighting.

Charleze Theron makes a good point, but it's completely unaddressed for whatever fucking reason.

Was there something special about that knife? Did I miss something?

Three drops, nice one.

Actor Rankings
1. Charlieze Theron
2. The brother
9999. Chris Hemsworth
10000. The william kid
Everyone Else
999999. Kstew

Ritualistic death of the final boss. Check.

WUHHEY SHE SEES HERSELF IN THE MIRROR AND SHE'S ARMOR CLAD WHOOOOOOOAH WOMEN

WOAHHHHH SYMBOLISM THE FLOWERS BACK

WOOOOOOOOOOOOAH THERE'S RED EVERYWHERE NOW ITS ALMOST LIKE THE FILMAKER INTENDED IT THAT WAY WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH

THE ROMANCE ISN'T FISTED INTO THE END
IT WAS ORGANIC
THAT'S DOPE AS FUCK
wait then again I haven't seen CHEMSWORTH yet

Please
Don't do it
I know you want to
But don't do it

Kstew still can't smile right away, and has to do that thing where she moves her mouth.

Wow that's loud as fuck sound mixers.

What a flat note to end on.